"Are you really okay?
I am acting like I'm okay. Please don't interrupt my performance."

That night I woke up to Naila nudging me wake. She bolted to Daddy's room and pawed at the door. He was sitting on his knees, is Glock pistol to his head.

"Daddy, don't!" I screamed.

He turned toward me and let the gun fall to the floor. I rushed to him and took him into a hug. I called my Uncle Jordan. I didn't expect him to answer but did. I told him that Daddy had just attempted suicide and he was at our house in five minutes. He came into the back bedroom and found Daddy and I on the floor, his gun lay on bed. Jordan shook his head and sat down next to me.

"He needs help, Jordan."

"I'm going to the VA tomorrow and talking with his last therapist and see if they can give us a list of hospitals we can send him to." Jordan said.

"I refuse to be locked in a mental hospital.... I couldn't stand it...." His voice trailed off, as he became choked up.

"What se this off?" Jordan asked.

"You know what today is."

"April 19th."

"Yes."

April 19th was the day Lily and Emma disappeared. After all these years he still hasn't gotten over it. Jordan made helped Daddy to his feet and led him to the kitchen. I followed behind.

"Why did this set off a suicide attempt?" Jordan demanded.

"The little girl in Iraq died on the same day and...." He didn't continue and we didn't push him.

He got up and stood my the window that over looked the D.C. Streets. Tomorrow Jordan and I would take Daddy back to the VA and get him help.