~"Keeping my distance because I know I can't love you."~

:Next Morning:

My alarm beeps and I let out a loud moan. As I shift my body I felt the new wave of pain hit my body.

I bite down on my lower lip, not caring that it was cut and bruised. With one sharp inhale I sit up and I felt my back crack.

From being so late yesterday my mother made sure I would never do such a thing like that.

As I move my legs over my bed, clenching my hands into fists as I felt a sharp sting from my new engraved at my inner thigh.

I brushed my shaky finger tips over the dark scars. Tears formed in my eyes as I looked at them all.

It made me feel ugly..

But I need them. I add these scars because I need the pain, because sometimes I need this pain so I can feel something.

I forced myself to make my legs work. They were both numb and shaky. As I get up I catch myself by my nightstand before my legs could give out.

I felt my stomach churn as I felt the bile fill at the back of my throat.

I force myself with all the energy I had left to run into the bathroom to throw up.

I grasped the rim of the toilet as I barfed.

By the time I was done, I was seeing stars, blotches of black blinded my vision. My head throbbed as my throat was buring and my chest ached.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand before I shakily get up and look at myself in the mirror. My skins was pale, I had bags under my eyes and more bruises began to form, making my skin look yellow and purple.

My brown golden eyes dull and empty. All red and blood shot. My stomach growled loudly making me jump a little.

I take in a deep breath as I rubbed my stomach which was also badly bruised and scarred.

I step away from my mirror and force myself to get dressed into a new pair of underwear and a loose sports bra. I put on a pair of loose black sweatpants pants and black hoodie. I put on a pair of socks and my running shoes before grabbing my backpack.

I snatched my phone and headphones, and head into the washroom to cover my bruises.

I licked my lower lip, tasting the dry blood from my split lip. Once I felt 'comfortable' I step out of my bathroom and down the hall.

As I past the Monster's room I could catch the scent of alcohol and cigarette smoke. I scrunched up my nose as I walked past, sneaking my way downstairs and I rushed to the kitchen, grabbing little amounts of food that won't be too noticeable to her.

I grabbed the box of crackers and granola bars along with some bread, lettuce, tomatoes and some meat slices. I panically making the sandwich, scarfing down the food before quickly cleaning up as if I never been here and heading out the door.

My stomach twisted and went into knots as I ran down the streets. I never are this much before-I barely eat because of the monster but now..

I cupped my mouth with my hand as I turned to the newest garbage can and threw up.

My stomach clenched as I threw up all the food I just hate. I let out w groan as I felt my legs grow weak. I wiped my mouth with my sleeve as I take in a deep breath.

God damn it..

:At School:

As I get to the lockers I see Adrien with Nino, chatting away as always. I get to my locker, unlocking it and placed my back pack inside as I then grabbed my binder for first class.

I stiffen when I hear Adrien laugh. It sounded nice..

It was weird how my stomach made knots and my heart fluttered they way it did.

I turned my head over at the two boys and Nino waved at me. I blinked a few times before waving slightly back and looking away again.

Nino tapped Adrien's hand and they both walk past me and out of the locker room.

I let the sigh escape my lips as I then closed my locker and head to class.

The walk was short as always. Thankfully Chloe didn't hassle me at all this morning-I haven't seen her at all yet so maybe it was a good sign?

I get to class and walk to my usual seat. Adrien of course was already there so I did my usually routine; slumped in my seat, pulled out my phone and plugged in my tunes.

I pulled out my notebook and began to doodle. For some reason which made me wonder is how that black cat came to my mind.

I bite down on my lower lip as I began to sketch up his blurry green eyes. They always had me wondering-yes ok he was blind but how could he be a super hero?

How could he fight crime or travel throughout the night or day?

I cursed under my breath as I closed my notebook, hating how that cat was stuck in my head.

I swipe to a new song on my playlist and let the lyrics drown the remaining thoughts in my head.

***
(:Play song if desired if not lyrics are placed here.:)
***

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

I felt Adrien tap my hand as I looked over at him. "Hey um..Enid?"

You're alone, you're on your own, so what?
Have you gone blind?
Have you forgotten what you have and what is yours?

I tensed up from his touch as I hummed in response.

Glass half empty, glass half full
Well either way you won't be going thirsty
Count your blessings not your flaws

"Well I was wondering if you'd want to hang out with Nino and I for lunch?"

You've got it all
You lost your mind in the sound
There's so much more
You can reclaim your crown
You're in control
Rid of the monsters inside your head

My eyes widened as I quickly look away and down at my hands.

Put all your faults to bed
You can be king again

"If you don't want to it's ok I'll understand." He added on as j felt my face get hot.

You don't get what all this is about
You're too wrapped up in your self doubt
You've got that young blood, set it free

"Enid?"

You've got it all
You lost your mind in the sound
There's so much more
You can reclaim your crown

"Tap my hand twice for no and once for yes."

You're in control
Rid of the monsters inside your head

I looked at him again, he turned his head right at my direction and my heart skipped a beat.

Put all your faults to bed
You can be king

I worked down a swallow as I looked away again, letting my hair curtain my face.

There's method in my madness
There's no logic in your sadness
You don't gain a single thing from misery
Take it from me

My breath caught at the back of my throat as I reached out, hovering my hand over his.

You've got it all
You lost your mind in the sound
There's so much more
You can reclaim your crown

I licked my lower lip as I watched him focus more, seeing him tense-waiting on my decision.

You're in control
Rid of the monsters inside your head

Slowly I lowered my hand as my fingers coasted over the back of his hand.

Put all your faults to bed
You can be king

I tapped my hand gently on his warm hand..

You've got it all
You lost your mind in the sound
There's so much more
You can reclaim your crown
You're in control
Rid of the monsters inside your head

I didn't want to do what I did but I know what was right..

Put all your faults to bed
You can be king again

..I tapped his hand twice..

***

Look at that, another update!!

Sorry that I have taken so long to update. As I realized I didn't enter this book into the watty's but there's always next year.

I want to thank everyone who has read my book so far and had voted on it!

I really appreciate it!

More chapters are still to come!

Bye!!!