I love this chapter so much, they get so close and it's one my favorites! Also, PLEASE make sure to read the end notes and respond :)

Enjoy !

—

When they walk back into their suite, no one has woken up yet, so they get back under the covers on the couch and turn on the TV to watch whatever is on.

They don't cuddle as they watch, although their thighs and shoulders brush under the covers and the possibility of being blown or blowing Louis right now is swirling through Harry's head.

So he initiates it by placing a hand on Louis' naked thigh and rubbing soft circles into the skin there with his thumb.

"Mmmwhat are you doing?" Louis asks and turns his head to look at him.

"Nothing? Does it look like I'm doing anything out of the ordinary?" Harry innocently responds, raising his eyebrows.

Louis shakes his head with a smile and suddenly makes a move to straddle Harry. He places a kiss on his nose, before shuffling backwards until he's lying on his stomach, between Harry's legs.

"What are you doing?" Harry asks when Louis pulls down his briefs and takes his cock into his hands.

"Nothing? Does it look like I'm doing anything out of the ordinary?" Louis mocks and pulls the covers over his head, which completely tortures Harry since he can see him while he's being blown.

Harry can only see the blanket going up and down where Louis' head is located, and he tries to sneak a hand under the covers but as soon as he does that, it's slapped away.

The slap turns him on even more, but before he even has time to respond to it, the door to one of the room opens and Niall comes out, then Zayn, and then Barbara. Louis' movements under the blanket immediately stop and Harry bites his lip so he won't laugh.

"Oh good morning sunshine." Barbara greets with a smirk, as Zayn looks around.

"Where's Lou?" Zayn asks, and then his eyes fall on the slight bump of the blanket. "Please tell me he's not-"

"Oh my God!" Niall yelps and falls into a fit of laughter, clutching his stomach as he drops on the floor. "This is fucking go-old! Oh my God Tommo you're the best."

Barbara winks at Harry and gives him a thumbs up, and Zayn lets out a noise of disgust. That's when Louis chooses to pop his head out from under the covers, hair disheveled and lips wet from all the sucking.

"Zayn, do you mind? I'm currently giving Harry over here a morning blowie whether you like it or not, so you can either shield those virgin eyes of yours, or get on with your life. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a task at hand that I need to finish, literally."

Then he gets back under the blanket and continues sucking. Harry is trying his hardest not to make any expressions or noises, because the three of them are still watching him, so he send a pleading look in Barbara's direction.

"Alright then, who wants some coffee before we head for breakfast?" she suggests.

Niall immediately stands up and follows her into the kitchen, while Zayn walks towards the bathroom, claiming that he's going to wash his eyes.

Louis, much to Harry's surprise, gets back under the blanket and finishes the job in less than two minutes. When he comes back, up, Harry grabs his head and pulls him in for a kiss.

Louis smiles against his lips, and only pulls back from the snog when Liam and Sophia also come out of their room.

"Jesus, someone is really happy this morning." Sophia snickers and sits down on the couch. Louis winks at her before he gets out of bed to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth.

When Harry sits down on one of the barstools a minute later, followed by Louis, everyone is watching them silently.

"What?" Louis finally asks after he gets a cup of coffee and sits back down.

"Soooo...what's up?" Barbara asks.

Harry makes a face at Niall, who's grinning like an idiot with his mouth full of a croissant he stole yesterday from the restaurant.

"Nothing's up, what about you?" Louis innocently replies.

"I'll tell you what is up with me." Zayn interrupts, placing his empty mug on the counter. "Yesterday when I came in after a beach party where two of my best friends didn't show up because they were together even though they allegedly hate each other, I walked in on said best friends spooning in the living room."

Everyone nods, but Louis just shrugs.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He replies, although he has playful, fond smile on his face.

"I do!" Niall interjects as he pulls out his phone, unlocks it, and then places it on the counter.

There's a picture of Louis and Harry spooning on it, and then another one, and another one; each one from different angles.

"Did you actually photograph us?" Harry incredulously asks.

"Of course I did mate! That's fuckin' incredible, the two of you! Been waiting for a long time for this to happen!" Niall cheerfully says and comes around the counter to hug them both at the same time.

"We're not together Niall, we just slept-" Harry starts because he doesn't want Louis to say it first, but Niall doesn't seem too care. He's too happy and excited about it, so they'll let him be.

At breakfast, everyone is talking about the beach party from last night, and Harry is thankful that the subject of Louis and him has faded away for now.

The beach is a lot quieter at nine in the morning, since most than half of the hotel is still asleep from last night's party.

Harry sits down on his usual lounger and closes the umbrella he shares with Louis, because this morning while looking at himself in the mirror, he realized that he's been in Panama City for four days now, and he's got three to go, so he better start trying to get a tan as soon as possible.

"What are you doing?" Louis asks as he places his things on his chair.

"Trying to get a tan."

Louis snorts but doesn't say anything else because he's quick to pull off his shirt and race Niall into the water. Harry watches him for a few seconds before he pulls out his iPad to check his social media and maybe watch a film.

At some point, his hair gets incredibly uncomfortable so he takes out the bandana he has in his beach bag and puts it on to keep his hair back.

Much better, he thinks, and his eyes drift to Louis once again, who's currently trying to drown Niall, so Harry returns to his movie.

Harry's interrupted a few minutes later, when a shadow casts over his face. He looks up and sees Louis standing next to him, ruffling his hair with a towel.

"Lift your arms." He tells Harry, who does as asked, even though he's confused.

Louis then spreads Harry's legs, turns around, and sits down between them. He leans back against Harry's chest after he pushes his sunglasses up his nose and closes his eyes.

"Are you comfortable?" Harry asks in a sarcastic tone, although he doesn't mind Louis laying on him at all.

"Very. Although his hair in my eyes is stressing me out."

"Hold up."

Harry places his iPad on Louis' chest and stretches over to his bag to take out another bandana that he pulls on Louis' head.

"Thanks."

Harry can feel Louis starting to relax against his chest, and even though he knows he's probably going to have a Louis shaped tan later, he doesn't mind this one bit.

He ends up falling asleep in the sun once the movie finishes, and Barbara shaking him awake to tell him that they're all going to head over to lunch in the restaurant wakes him up.

"What time s'it?" Louis mumbles, obviously not happy with the fact that he just got woken up.

"It's almost four and lunch ends at half past four. You've been asleep for like, six hours all wrapped up with each other." She smiles. "If you want some pictures as a souvenir, just ask my boyfriend, he's got plenty on his phone. I believe he even made a folder titled 'Larry'."

"The fuck is Larry?" Louis asks and sits up, arching his back and stretching his arms.

"It's your two names combined. Anyway, I'm starving, so I'll leave you two to it. You know where to find us. Also, Zayn has asked me to remind you that this is a public place and you can get arrested for voyeurism."

Harry smiles and crosses his legs, stopping Louis from getting up and gathering his stuff.

"Let me go Harry." he says, but it's obvious he's not too bothered by the position, even though he should be facing Harry for things to be more intimate.

"No. I like having you close."

Louis bites his lip. "Well, you won't have me if I'm going to die from starvation because you're not letting me go get lunch."

"Ugh, fine. We'll go together since I'm kind of hungry too."

"It's your fault for always eating vegetables and fruits." Louis scoffs.

"Those fruits and vegetables are the reason you love me coming into your mouth."

"How would you even know how your come tastes like?"

Louis has finished packing and is now staring at him.

"You didn't hesitate kissing me after that blowjob this morning."

"You're sick."

Harry winks at him as he finally packs up his things and then stands up from the lounger so they can head over to the restaurant.

-

"What are we doing tonight?" Louis asks a couple of hours later when they're all chilling in their suite after a large meal. It's incredibly hot outside and most of the people that can usually be found at the pool or anywhere around in the hotel, are now nowhere to be found, probably in their rooms.

"Definitely something that doesn't involve going outside in this heat." Barbara tells him as she sips on her orange juice.

"Movie marathon!" Niall exclaims and pats her on the back while he gets up from the chair.

"Yeah, we can watch pay per view movies." Sophia agrees, settling on the couch next to Louis.

Harry, Louis, Sophia, Barbara and Zayn take the couch, while Liam and Niall sit on the ground in front of it as they scroll through the list of movies on the TV.

They decide on watching Fast and Furious 7, since only Zayn and Louis have seen the movie and everyone is too distracted by the heat to even care.

The air conditioners are running on the lowest temperature possible at the highest speed, yet they still feel like they're going to die because of the heat, even though they're all in their swimsuits.

"Babe, I'm dying." Louis mutters into his ear when he movie is already half in, resting his cheek against Harry's shoulder.

"It's just a bit of heat. It's gonna get colder in the evening." Harry whispers back. "Now behave and get your hand off my thigh."

"Yes sir."

Louis settles back against the couch with a pout and crosses his arms, but pushes his leg towards Harry so they can touch.

By the time the movie's finished, Liam has tears in his eyes and so do the girls. Harry would have probably cried too if he hadn't been too distracted by Louis' closeness to actually pay attention to what was happening in the movie.

"It's already eight so I think we can go to dinner because 'm starving." Niall says as he checks the weather on his phone. "Also, the heat has gone down."

"Isn't Steve Aoki playing tonight on the beach?" Zayn asks once they're all dressed for dinner.

"He only starts playing at ten, I checked. Now come on, I am literally wasting away!"

Harry looks towards Louis, who smiles when he realizes he's being stared at.

"Do you maybe want to go at the Italian restaurant on the first floor?" Harry nervously suggests.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Louis asks, trying to fake astonishment.

Harry shrugs, and everyone groans when Louis leans in to press a kiss to his lips.

"We'll leave you two here, but don't you dare miss out on a beach party again because you want to fuck. It's spring break, you can fuck all the time when you get home." Niall tells them before he's out the door.

"What a bunch of idiots." Louis fondly mumbles. "Shall we, then?"

Harry nods.

It turns out that they should have made reservations the night before if they wanted to dine at the Italian restaurant, but Harry eventually manages to talk the hostess into finding them a table.

"She totally thinks she's going to go home with you tonight." Louis tells him once they're sat down at the table in the corner with a view of the pool.

"Then she's wrong."

"Who are you going home with then hm?"

Harry looks up from the menu at him with a playful smile on his face.

"Don't know yet."

"Asshole." Louis laughs, flipping him off before he opens the menu.

Harry shushes him so he can concentrate on the menu in front of him.

"So this is technically our third date right?" Louis asks once they've ordered.

"I like that you're counting, yes."

"Well if I weren't counting you'd be calling me an asshole."

"No I wouldn't. I didn't even think of this as a date until you said it."

"Yes you did you sly bastard." Louis mutters even though he's smiling.

They both know that it's more probable for Harry to land on the moon than to forget something like this, especially if it comes to Louis.

"It's hard for me to believe that you would see this as a date though, since you've been so...distant with me about this kind of stuff."

Louis makes an uncomfortable face. "Yeah well...I'm trying to become more open minded now, you just have to be patient."

"And if I am? What happens then?"

"You'll just have to wait and see."

Louis winks and stretches his legs under the table so he can wrap them around Harry's.

It's good enough for Harry. For now, at least.

Their food comes several minutes of conversation later, and they happily dig in.

"So now that everyone knows we're fucking, are there some new things you'd like to try out?" Louis asks him nonchalantly with his mouth full.

Harry chokes, because of course this would be a subject Louis wouldn't have any shame discussing over dinner.

"Uh...not really. I like normal sex, like."

"Oh, come on. You can't tell me that you only like to have sex on a bed. That's boring."

"Well, you've only had sex with a guy twice so I don't think you're the expert in this domain." Harry tells him.

"Yeah, but if we compare how many times we've had sex, then trust me, I'm definitely the expert here."

Harry stares at him, trying to make his heart slow down at the same time.

"Fair enough."

"So are you going to tell me about your dirty fantasies now?"

"Fine. I've always wanted to have like...sex on a balcony. Or somewhere in almost public."

"You really are into that almost getting caught thing?" Louis asks, looking at him with admiration in his eyes.

"You could say that. What about you?"

"Well...I'm pretty sure I've done almost everything in every place."

Harry snorts. "You're quite full of yourself, aren't you?"

"Well, I was full of you last night, so."

Harry smiles. "You weren't complaining."

"I'm not complaining now either, so."

Harry knows that Louis also said 'What happens in Panama City stays in Panama City', and he's planning on comforting him about it, even though the answer might not be that pleasant to hear.

By the time they order desert, Louis is already playing footsie with Harry under the table, while huge grins play on both their faces.

"Can we get this to go?" Louis asks when the waiter comes over with their orders. He sighs and rolls his eyes, but goes back to the kitchen to pack their desert nonetheless.

"Eager to get back?"

"Don't get too excited, we promised everyone we'd join them on the beach to see Steve Aoki."

Harry pouts.

"Think you can come in five minutes while I suck you off in the bathroom though?" Louis questions, trying to make him feel better.

Harry's eyes light up and he nods. "Give me three."

-

Harry doesn't get to bring up the talk the next day, or the next one, and before he knows it, it's their last day in Panama City and he still doesn't know what this thing with Louis is.

They haven't fucked again, but a lot of blowjobs and even a rim job might have occurred within the last two days.

Their plan for today is to attend the giant hotel party that lasts all night, on each level of the hotel, to celebrate the last day of Spring Break.

"I'm so fuckin' pumped for tonight! Even though it's our last day here, I'm glad I got to spend it with you guys!" Niall excitedly slurs, having already downed a few pre-shots.

Everyone raises their glasses and toasts while Niall gets off the coffee table in their suite.

"To Panama City!" Louis raises his glass once again, locking eyes with Harry across from him.

Harry repeats the words before they both down the champagne glass. It's probably a bit too fancy for a trashy spring break party but oh well.

The music in the hallway starts at ten pm sharp, and the lights dim out to set the mood.

Niall screams and launches himself into the hallway, followed by a laughing Barbara who will have to take care of him in a few hours.

Harry turns his head to look at Louis, who's already mingling with Bryan and a girl he's with, all wide smiles and glimmering eyes. Which also means that he's planning on getting drunk tonight, so Harry has to keep an eye on him and make sure he's alright.

Eleanor approaches him at some point after he dances with Louis in the middle of the hallway and left him with Zayn to go back and get himself another beer.

"So I see you and Louis are getting along quite well." She tells him and leans against the counter.

"Yeah we're...alright. I guess."

"Together?"

"Not yet. He keeps saying this phrase about what happens in Panama City stays in Panama City and it's just...I don't know. I'm afraid that whatever we had during this trip won't continue back in Tallahassee."

"Well it's your last night here, so I suggest you both get really drunk, have some sex to sober yourselves up, and then talk about your feelings." Eleanor jokes, but Harry doesn't think it's that bad of an idea.

"I was joking." She adds, but Harry is already downing half of his beer.

He finds Louis half naked in the hallway; swaying his hips to a Beyoncé song while Zayn is throwing Monopoly bills at him.

"Harreh! Come join oohz! We're having a strip off!" Louis yells at him and points to Liam who is currently struggling to get his kit off.

You know shit is about to get serious when Liam is stripping in public, Harry thinks and walks over to them, handing the bottle to a girl who is busy drooling all over a guy's mouth against the wall.

"How about we put your shirt back on?" Harry softly suggests and grabs Louis' shirt off the floor.

Louis unzips his jeans instead and pushes them down his legs, which earns him yet another set of hundred Monopoly bills from a drunk-and possibly stoned-Zayn.

When he sees Harry reach out for him, Louis squeaks and quickly steps back, almost falling over Liam.

"Lou-" Harry starts but doesn't get to finish because Louis takes off running right past Harry and down the hallway.

Harry loses him in the mass of bodies, but he can see that he's entered a room farther away. He walks after him and begins checking every room until he finds one with the door actually closed, so he enters.

There is a couple actually having sex on the couch, so Harry quickly opens the first door he sees, to find Louis jumping on the bed.

"Are you high?" Harry asks when he sees Louis smiling like a creep. He stops and gets down from the bed, once again running and ducking under Harry's arm as he exits the suite.

"Uh...sorry for the inconvenience." He tells the two people on the couch, who haven't stopped regardless. "Use protection. Unless you're trying for a baby that is-just-yeah. Alright."

He leaves the suite with a flaming face, eyes once again searching for Louis. He finds him grinding against a girl a few meters away, and she's clearly enjoying having a good time with an attractive man who's currently just wearing his briefs.

She whispers something in his ear and that's when Louis shies away with a polite smile.

"She invited me back to her room!" he informs Harry, who just wraps an arm around his waist and lifts him over his shoulder.

"Am I upside down?" Louis wonders as Harry walks back towards their suite.

It's half past midnight when he enters, and he can see Zayn passed out on the floor, with red cups placed all around his body. Bryan and Dave are on the couch passing a joint, so Harry walks to Louis and Zayn's room (now only Zayn's room since Louis cuddled him to sleep every night for the past three nights) to set Louis down.

"The room is spinning Harry." Louis whines and covers his eyes with his hands.

"I'll be right back with some snacks and water. Don't leave."

Louis nods so Harry leaves the room to get to the kitchen. He finds a bag of chips and a bottle of orange juice on the counter, so he grabs those before he returns to the room.

Thankfully, Louis is still on the bed, but this time with his phone in hand and a serious expression on his face. He happily drinks and eats what Harry brought him, and by the time he's taken a cold shower, he's sobered up a bit and is now his usual self.

"I'm going to check on Barbara and Sophia. I'll be right back."

Louis nods.

He finds Sophia and Barbara in Liam and Sophia's room, trying to put Niall and Liam to sleep.

"You alright?" Harry asks them.

"Yeah, we're just putting them to sleep here and we'll sleep in the other room. Go take care of your boyfriend." Barbara assures him with a wink, so Harry leaves.

He finds Louis sprawled out on the bed. Naked.

Harry's words catch in his throat as he closes the door, not taking his eyes off of him.

"Staring, are we?" Louis smirks and pulls the duvet over himself.

"You better then?"

"Yeah...didn't drink that much."

"Good."

Harry takes off his pants and shirt so he can join Louis on the bed. The music is still thumping outside on the hallway, two doors away, but it's faded and quite nice.

"Cuddle me." Louis tells him as soon as Harry is under the covers with him and turns off the light.

"Alright."

Harry lies on his back and opens his arms so Louis can lie on his chest and wrap his arms around him.

"You smell good."

"I smell like alcohol." Harry chuckles and buries his nose in his hair.

"Are you actually smelling me?"

"Maybe."

There is a short silence after that, until Harry finally asks the question Louis has promised to answer.

"Will you tell me about your dad?"

He feels Louis tense under his arms, so he begins stroking his back gently to try and calm him down, make sure Louis knows he's safe and can tell him anything without being judged.

"Alright." Louis softly agrees. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything. Why you're afraid of commitment...why you won't put a label to your sexuality, why you moved here, why you drink so much, why you're afraid to be yourself. I want to know everything you're comfortable to share."

Harry feels him gulp before he finally opens his mouth.

"Well, I guess it all started with my dad really. Funny how I can't get rid of him no matter how much I try. He was the type of dad that would comment on absolutely everything I did, and no matter how much I tried to be the best in school or in sports or whatever else, it was never good enough for him. I was the only guy in the family at the time, and he wasn't pleased with the fact that he had four girls. So he wanted me to be this...'manly' man by signing me up for all kinds of sports and activities that I wanted no part of."

Harry can feel Louis' heart speeding up in his chest, so he begins to rub soothing circles into his lower back under the blanket.

"He kept trying to force me into basketball, rugby, tennis, and I absolutely hated it. The only thing I liked was footie, but he wasn't pleased with just that. I remember being ten and telling him that I didn't want to play sports, and that I wanted to act in the school play and sing...and that's the first time he hit me. He didn't physically abuse me that much, but the emotional abuse was worse than any punch would have been. It got worse when I was fifteen and actually went to try out for a small role in the school play. He found out because Fizzy accidentally told him at dinner one night, so he literally flipped the table and began shouting these...rude words at me that I don't want to repeat because I can still hear his voice."

Harry bites his lip, and he tries not to cry because Louis is so strong, telling him all this with a stable voice and nothing but his racing heart for proof that he's still shaken about everything.

"When I was fifteen, I liked to dress with...you know. Colorful skinnies, suspenders, whatever the trend was then. But also because I liked being in the center of attention and feeling good about myself. And of course, he didn't like the fact that I dressed too 'faggy', is what he called it. There wasn't one day that he didn't call me that, not one. He made sure to remind me that dressing and behaving like that was wrong and that no one would ever accept me. And it eventually got into my head. He forbid me to go out with any guy friends; I'd have to come straight home from school. Eventually I understood what I had to do to please him, so I began dating and fucking girls that I didn't even like. And he was so happy that he finally had the fifteen-year-old son he's always wanted. I don't even want to think about how much of a dick I was back then because of how I had to act. I think I even used the f-and the n-word on a couple of occasions, because I thought that's the only way my dad would accept me. It's stupid, I know-"

"No, it isn't. I get it. Your dad was horrible-"

"But nothing even came close to the day he left us out of the blue when I was sixteen. He just walked out one day after he caught me in bed with one of my guy friends-we weren't even doing anything, we were just watching TV in my room, but he flipped big time. He packed up and just left. My mother wasn't even at home when he did, so when she came back from work she was heartbroken. He left us with nothing. My mum had five children to raise with a paycheck that wasn't even enough to pay the bills, so I got a job to help her out. I tried to be tough and raise my sisters while pretending that everything was fine, even though inside I was so fucking sad because it was my fault that our dad had left us. My mother blamed herself, and I just couldn't bring myself to tell her why he actually left. So I began drinking and smoking at sixteen to forget about everything."

Harry squeezes him closer and tries to look down at him, but Louis is staring at his chest.

"It all got worse when I was almost seventeen and my mom began dating. Guys came and left, and she was heartbroken every single time each of them left once they saw what a fuck up the family was and couldn't handle the pressure. That's why I don't really believe in love or commitment. I believe in the idea of love; that people can stay loyal to one person for the rest of their lives or even for a short period of time because they feel something. But I don't believe that someone can actually be in love with someone else without having an ulterior motive. No one can love you just because that's what they feel. I can't understand that."

Harry wonders if Louis can actually hear his heart breaking, since he's so close to it.

"And what you said to me about tattoos that night, about how I'm afraid of commitment but I have them all over my body...tattoos won't just get up and leave you one day because they got bored of you."

That's when Louis finally looks up at him, eyes shining from the tears that haven't been spilt yet.

"I drink because there isn't a day I don't think about how much pain I've caused my family for being who I am. That's why I try to hide who I am even from myself, because I will eventually fuck things up one way or another. So now you know why I am the way I am and why I don't want things get serious between us-I'll end up hurting you."

There's a long, dead silence for a minute, when they just stare at each other, trying to figure what the other is thinking.

"If you want to leave right now it's fine. I just didn't want to keep this from you any longer because the more I postpone the truth the more it will hurt you, and that's the last thing I'd ever want to do Harry. You're probably the closest I've ever come to actually feeling something for someone and it scares me, so I just want you to know what you think you want to get into."

Harry cups his face with both palms, pulling him closer to his lips.

"There's nothing you could say about your past or about yourself that will make me want you less." He whispers to Louis, who watches him with incredulous eyes.

Harry's not going to bring up the 'What happens in Panama City stays in Panama City' thing tonight because it's definitely not the right time. He just wants to let Louis know how much he cares about him and that he'll wait for him to come along as much as he needs to.

"I eat my toenails." Louis says with a serious expression, but his smile gives him away.

Harry lets out a loud laugh, knowing that Louis just wants to ease the tension and get over the fact that he just poured his heart out.

"That's just gross." Harry tells him, pecking his lips.

"I am gross, see? You definitely wouldn't want to be with a gross person."

"Actually, there's nothing I want more right now."

Louis stares at him, searching Harry's eyes for any trace of humor. When he can't find any, he gives Harry the brightest smile as he leans over to press their lips into a deep kiss that means the world to Harry right now.

As they continue kissing, with the music completely fading away once they're only focused on each other, they both have three words they're too afraid to say playing on the tip of their tongue.

I need you

I love you

Don't leave me

--

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So the story will officially have 16 chapters, which means that there are two chapters left :) The last chapter will be up on the 5th of July :)

Also, would anyone be interested in buying a paperback copy (as in, an actual book) of this fanfiction if I turned it into one?

Updates will be on Saturdays/Sundays @ 7pm Uk time !

Thank you so much for reading :)