*Mallory*

Nikki and I flew to London a few days later. I would have probably been against coming with him, or raised hell for the hotel fucking up our reservations and ended up having an ex-couple like us in a room together, but who could be angry at a time like this?

Besides, the room has 2 beds, so its not like its the worst thing to happen.

I sighed as I looked in the mirror, smoothing down my dress.

(Picture: Mallory's funeral look)

I kept my make up subtle and light.

Last time I was at a funeral was for my grandmother. I was only 12. She had a heart attack. Was probably the only family member in my family who gave a flying crap about me and my happiness.

Now I'm attending a funeral that no one should ever be expected to attend.

A boyfriend/girlfriend's funeral.

Whether the love would have lasted or not, it doesn't matter. At the moment, it can really fucking hurt, especially if the deceased was a really good person to many and the other.

Razzle was a good person. Yeah, he partied just as hard as any rockstar, but he wasn't an asshole. He always bought everyone's spirits up, was ready to just enjoy the next day anyway he could  and he cared a lot for his friends.... He cared for me

I sighed as I spotted a Polaroid of us both during one of our dates, feeling tears well up in my eyes.

He was too young.... He still had so much left to see in life, to experience.

I rather he had just been injured a bit like Vince was, because at least he'd be alive and here.... But I guess the universe had another plans.

I sniffled as I pressed the picture against my chest, feeling tears fall as I looked out the window.

I suddenly hear a knock at the door and turn to see Nikki stood at the door, already in a black suit, hair somewhat teased.

"Cab's almost here..." he said.

I gulped, wiping my tears away, and nodded. "I'll be right out..."

He nodded, standing hesitantly before walking out.

I sighed as I took a final look at the mirror, adjusting my funeral veil and hat.

I wish you were here...

***

I watched as Andy, Sami, Nasty, Michael, one of Razzle's cousin's and Nikki carried the coffin through the cemetary.

I walked closely behind with Razzle's mother, father and sister, his sister and I under a black umbrella as we walked, rain softly falling.

We had talked for a while, and they only wish we had met under better circumstances. Razzle did manage to tell them about me when he was alive.

I continued to hold onto Razzle's scarf. For some reason I just couldn't let it go, and just held it close to me. I guess its just that one piece of Razzle I had left.

Its strange how much materialistic things can affect some people. I for one was never like this. The only times I guess its been like this has been for my grandmother's necklace, and now with Razzle's scarf.

I guess humams will always just be weird like that.

We soon arrived to the plot, and the guys put Razzle's coffin over the bands to later be lowered.

They then stepped aside as everyone began to put their flowers on the coffin.

I had offered Nikki my umbrella as we all watched in silence.

Soon it was my turn and the tears fell again as I placed the red rose over the coffin, then my hand on the cold mahogany.

I cried softly as I steadied myself, then felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Nikki stood there.

"Mal, come on," He murmured.

I sniffled as I cried and he ended up having to escort me away as the priest started the sermon.

Once it was done they lowered the casket to the ground, and then buried up, more flowers placed once the hole was filled.

Soon after was when people started to leave to the wake, but I stayed behind.

I sniffled as I knelt by his grave, tears streaming down my face as I read the tombstone.

NICHOLAS "RAZZLE" DINGLEY

December 2, 1960
-
December 8, 1984

Beloved son, brother, friend, band mate & drummer

God... Why him?

I then hear footsteps behind me and look up to see Nikki standing there, looking exhausted and in pain.

I couldn't even form words and just cried, facing the stone gravestone  as he knelt down next to me, rubbing my back.

"Why him... Why did it have to be him?" I cried uncontrollably.

"Shhh," Nikki murmured as he rubbed my back.

*Nikki*

I stood there comforting Mal as everyone headed back to the cars

"Mallie..." a voice spoke and we turned to see the rest of Hanoi stood before us as we stood up.

"We thought you would want this," Michael said as he held something in his hands.

"Fuck," I murmured, looking away as  we saw Razzle's hat in his hands, still with its sash and goggles.

Mal whimpered and covered her mouth in shock as she saw it.

"Razz, he.... He was really happy with you," Michael said. "And we saw how you were happy with him... We know he'd want you to have it..."

Mal sniffled, wrapping her arms around herself as she hesitantly approached them, then taking the hat in her hands.

She quietly cried as she looked down at it, wiping at her eyes before looking up at the band.

"T-Thank you..." she said as she held his hat .

They nodded as then Andy walked up and pulled her into a hug, Mal crying into his shoulders as the others comforted her.

I sighed as I looked back at the tombstone.

***

After the wake, we left and took a taxi back to our hotel.

We walked into our room when suddenly Mal started to sway, groaning as she tried to steady herself, but nearly collapsed, dropping the hat as I quickly caught her before she hit the ground.

"Whoa, hey, are you alright?" I asked, holding her up.

"I-I don't know, I.... I d-don't... I-I just...." she murmured, starting to look green, when suddenly I was shoved aside as she ran to the bathroom, immediately throwing up into the toilet.

"Shit," I said, rushing over and holding her hair back as I rubbed her back. "Easy, Mal...."

She threw up for another two minutes before finally calming down, and I helped her sit back before grabbing a towel from nearby and helping to clean her mouth.

"There... Feel better?" I asked.

She coughed and nodded. "Y-Yeah, ummm.... I don't know what happened...."

"Probably all this grief," I sighed. "Come on, let's get you to bed, I'll order something to help with your stomach. Tomorrow we're heading to the airport early."

She must of not been in any mood to argue with me, because she just sighed and nodded as I helped her up.

I helped her over to the bed, stopping her as I unzipped her now ruined dress, having her step out of it before helping her lay down as I tossed the dress aside next to her heels.

She sniffled as she laid down while I covered her with the comforter.

I sighed and sat at her side.

"I know I'm probably the last person you want comforting you right now.... But I am so, so sorry about Razzle, Mal," I said.

She looked up at me, sadness in her eyes.

"I admit, I was jealous when you two were together, but he still made you happy, and losing him.... Mal, I'm so sorry," he said.

She sniffled and sighed. "Thank you, Nikki..." she said.

I let out a deep breath before softly patting her leg.

"Get some rest. I'll go order something for your stomach," I said.

She nodded and rolled over, pulling the covers over her as I went to order room service.

I sighed as I saw the hat on the ground, along with his scarf that Mal has been holding onto all this time.

I sighed as I picked up the hat, looking at it in my hands.

"Its not fucking fair.... You were supposed to do what I failed to do.... She needed you.... It was too soon, damn it, you were her last chance...." I said.

I kept staring at it before grunting and putting it on a nearby table, then heading to call room service.

As I reached for the phone, my arm suddenly started to itch.

Shit.... Just ignore it for now... Just ignore it for now.... Mal needs you right now....

I took a deep breath and quickly grabbed the phone.

~~~~~

Uh oh..... Something's up..... 😳😳

Okay, so it looks like Hurricane Dorian won't hit us directly here in Florida, but we might still feel the storm a bit, not exactly sure. 

Nonetheless, I'll keep everyone updated on my instagram @officialbloodsapph if there's any changes or news.

🎵Currently in Sapph's playlist:

Boney M "Rasputin"

https://youtu.be/OVgb-0h_po0

♡~ sapphire.