》1993《

*Mallory*

I flicked the lighter on and held it to the cigarette as it rested between my lips before it finally ignited, the warm bittersweet tobacco smoke flooding my body.

I sighed, letting the smoke drift into the warm, summer air as I pulled the stick from my mouth between my fingers as I looked up at the white clouds in the sky, a soft breeze blowing through.

I rested against the wall behind the studio building, taking in the serene feeling outside.

Why can't it be this peaceful all the time?

Then again.... What even is peace anymore?

Its been a little over a year since Vince left. I don't hear about him anymore, but I do see Sharise and Skylar from time to time.

Sharise was anything but happy about what happened once she found out, but I told her that its best to just let it go. Its not worth getting upset over now anyway.

Vince started his own solo career, and honestly.... Its good.... He seems to be doing okay, I guess....

Mötley Crüe had decided to take a bit of a break and eventually hired a new singer. His name is John Corabi, and he is a nice guy who just wants to avoid any turmoil.

That's easier said than done....

The fans have also tried their hardest to come to grips with everything, but its just not the same.

I finally earned my residency and eventually became a Chief Nurse, and start trying for my doctorate as well. However, after losing Angel and everything that happened last year, I wanted to get my mind off of everything, so I buried myself into my work, along with my fellowship, which I now only have a few months left for and I also decided to take some extra classes on the side to be a certified EMT, and maybe afterwards a paramedic as well, depending how it all goes.

Nikki's not a huge fan of me working and studying from the crack of dawn until almost past midnight, but its not a permanent thing....

Plus, working and studying so much has managed to keep me clean again, and that's really all I want at the moment, especially since I'm trying to quit cigarettes completely. 

The nicotine gum can only really do so much... 

I've also started seeing a therapist, who prescribed me some antidepressants and some medication to help with anxiety.

The benzos help enough with my anxiety, but the antidepressants make me feel numb, and not in a good way. For me, its a worse numb feeling than cocaine. At least with cocaine, I was still aware of my surroundings. With the medication, which is a new experimental drug called Prozac, a vampire in broad sunlight has more energy than me.

I'm considering going off them, but I don't want to freak out anyone. On top of that, I'm scared of some sort of addiction forming from them.

Maybe calling Dana would help... Sponsors are smart on this kind of stuff...

Still.... Despite that small ounce of good happening in my life.... It still makes me feel all hollow and broken.

As painful as what he did was.... I still miss my best friend....

I miss our talks.... I miss the pranks we would pull on everyone in the studio or on tour.... I miss our laughs... I miss his hugs whenever I needed one...... I miss calling him a Barbie whenever he had that pink stage outfit of his just to tease him... I miss him always visiting the hospital just to see me and make sure I'm okay..... I miss spending the holidays with him, helping him wrap all of Skylar's birthday, Christmas, and even Easter presents until almost 1 am so it would all look great.... I miss the studio sessions where we'd both be in that both singing and acting like morons while the others laughed at our fun..... I miss being his shoulder to cry on, and him being mine....

I miss the man I once called my brother....

"Hey...." A voice spoke, pulling me from my train of thoughts.

I opened my eyes, turning to see John stood at the entrance of the alley.

"Oh... Hi John...." I sighed.

"Uhh, the interview's about to start," he said awkwardly. "Nikki was looking for you...."

I pursed my lips, then sighed and nodded. "Okay... Give me a second..."

He nodded as I took another drag, but then walked over to me.

"Umm, look... I know you're not all on board with me being in the band and all.... And I get it," he said as I blew smoke in the air away from him so he didn't breath it, and I was still. "Vince was your best friend....."

I looked over at him, feeling bad. "No, no, John, it... I'm sorry," I sighed, . "Its not really thst, its just... I need some more time to get used to all of this.... A change like this after more than 10 years of a lot... Its not easy to adapt to that...."

"I understand," he said, nodding. "I can tell you've been through a lot...."

I looked down, noticing the tattoo on my right wrist, a newer addition me and Nikki had gotten around the time that could have been her first birthday.....

(Picture: example of the angel wings tattoo Nikki & Mallory got in honor of Angel Sixx; Mallory has this on her right wrist, Nikki has it on his left wrist.)

"You have no idea," I sighed.

He looked down and nodded. "I do hope overtime you and I can still be friends, though...."

I couldn't help but smile softly at him. "I 'd like that..."

He smiled back. "Come on, before Nikki scalps me," he snickered.

"Let me handle my husband," I laughed as I followed him back into the building.

We walked in and I immediately spotted Nikki, talking with Tommy.

While Tommy had a complete new hairdo and cut off a lot of his hair, Nikki had cut his hair just a little bit, which looked good, but I did miss it when he had it longer (the blonde tuff was no more, sadly for me). He's also growing his facial hair a bit, but keeping it trimmed, and it does look good.

I wonder how he would look with a beard, though.... I'm curious...

"Hey, you okay?" Nikki asked as he stood in front of me, pulling me from my thoughts and making me realized I spaced out.

"No, yeah, yeah, I just.... Just needed some air," I said, giving him a small smile.

He nodded and pulled me into a hug, kissing my temple.

I hugged him close before he was called to the set.

"That's me," he said.

"Good luck," I said to him as we shared a quick kiss.

I walked over to the side stage as the guys all got seated along with the reporter, Mindy I think.

"It might look like a new Mötley Crüe, but they promise, its the same ol' situation," the interviewer said as the cameras rolled. "In their first interview with new singer, John Corabi, the Crüe give us a glimpse inside all the sex, drugs, and rock n roll."

I rolled my eyes at her words. I never really liked this lady.... She's such a bitch.....

"So what can we expect in this new era without Vince Neil?" she asked the guys.

I sighed and pursed my lips.

"Well, we had four ingredients," Nikki said. "And, we took one fourth out and we put a stronger fourth in."

I frowned at his words, crossing my arms.

"Its just better...." Tommy said. "Better, faster, louder...."

"Yeah, its about now. Its not about then, you know. You can't live in the past...." Nikki explained.

I sighed and just turned away, walking towards the snack table.

God, can't this just end already?

I walked off from there to the snack table, not wanting to hear this anymore.

*Vince*

I looked up from my drink at the tv over the bar as I listened at the interview.

"Yeah, its about now. Its not about then, you know. You can't live in the past...." Nikki spoke to the interviewer before the bartender shut the TV off and rolled his eyes before taking the bottle of scotch.

"Man, they suck without you," he said.

I just sighed as he topped me off with another round.

Like I care anymore....

*Nikki*

The interview soon ended and I went looking for Mal.

I found her by the snacks table, drinking some water.

"Hey," I said, walking over to her.

She just looked up and frowned at me, a cold look in her eye.

"One fourth?" Mal asked, giving me a blank yet disapproving look.

I pursed my lips, realizing it and sigh. "Mal..."

She held her hand up to stop me. "I don't want to hear it... I am tired, my head hurts, and I don't want to argue... I just want to go home to rest...."

"Babe, come on, I'm so-"

"I'll be in the car," she said coldly as she cut me off, then walked off.

I sighed running my fingers through my shortened hair and looked down as Tommy and Mick walked over.

"Where's MJ going?" Tommy asked curiously.

"To get the doghouse ready for me," I said, and he gave me a 'yikes' look as Mick walked up.

"I told you two to hold back," Mick said as Tommy sighed. "Like it or not, she has no hate towards him, and Vince was always there for her just as much as anyone else, and us talking shit won't help her cope with this, lwt alone heal."

We were quiet as I sighed.

"I'll talk to her," I said.

"Good. And for Christ's sake, next time the Vince topic is bought up, you two airheads keep your traps shut and let me handle it," he snapped at us both.

"Yes, sir," we both mumbled, feeling like we were being told off by our dad.

"Alright," he said. "I'm going home to lay down. My back's killing me."

We nodded as we watched him leave.

"I gotta go, too. I have some errands I got to run," Tommy said.

"Alright, see ya," I said as he left as well, and that's when John walked up.

"I'm guessing Mallory wasn't so happy with the interview?" he asked.

"Lets just say I'll most likely have to sleep with a couch pillow tonight," I sighed.

"Shit," he said. "How bad was Vince leaving anyway?"

I hesitated to answer, but sighed.

"Bad," I said. "Real bad... But its a little more personally between her and him than us... She's tried coping, but its not easy, especially after being through a lot. Aside from me and Mick who's like her dad, Vince was her rock... Her brother.... They confided in each other a lot, and she's still his daughter's godmother.... Its not easy for her...."

He nodded. "I'm sure everything will work out somehow," he said with a shrug.

I sighed. "Let's hope.... I'm gonna head home, too. Mal's tired from classes today, and she's night shifts this week at the hospital."

"Alright. See ya," he said and we parted ways.

I walked out to the parking lot and saw Mal sitting in the Jeep on the passenger seat, looking down as she stared into space.

I opened the driver's side and climbed in, sitting there as I stared ahead.

It was quiet before I spoke.

"Baby, I really didn't mean all the bullshit I said..." I told her.

She looked down sadly, pursing her lips.

"..... I know...." She said quietly. "I just wish you at least said it differently...."

It was quiet before I decided to ask.

"Have you heard from him?" I asked.

She was quiet for a bit before she shook her head, keeping her gaze down. "Only Sharise.... And Skylar.... Nothing much from him.... Sister of Pain is getting popular, according to Zutaut... That's all I really know...."

I sighed, nodding my head as I tugged on the strand of my bracelet, then saw my tattoo for Angel.

I traced the wings softly with my thumb as I felt that wave of sadness again.

"Honey, I.... I'm tired... I just want to lie down in bed before my shift," she murmured.

I looked over, seeing she did look pretty tired, and sighed as I reached over, cupping my palm on her cheek.

She breathed out softly and closed her eyes, leaning into my hand as she softly relaxed a little.

I wasn't against Mal taking extra classes while working full time to become an EMT. She needed a distraction from everything, but she up at the barely sunrise until past midnight taking classes, studying, working on-call, taking both day and night shifts even in a single day sometimes, and I'm scared of her getting sick or collapsing from exhaustion from it all.

I sighed softly and stroked her her hair a bit, making her eyes open and look up at me.

"Let's go home," I said.

She nodded as I pulled my hand away, starting the car, and then we pulled out of the parking lot to home.

***

We pulled up and I furrowed my brows as I saw someone standing at front of the house.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I grunted.

Mal frowned as she looked up and her eyes widen.

"Mal, stay in the car," I sneered under my breath.

"N-Nikki...." she said worriedly as I climbed down.

"Frankie," She smiled as she walked over.

"What the hell are you doing here, Deanna!?" I snapped. "I've got enough problems to deal with with right now!!"

"Frankie, please, I just want to talk," she said.

"Last time, you fucking bitch, that is not my fucking name!!!" I snarled, storming up to her when suddenly someone got in between me and her.

"Nikki, no no no, stop, stop," Mal said quickly as she held my arms and stopped me.

"Mal, get back, I told you to stay in the car," I snapped.

"Not if you're gonna be like this," she said sternly. "Its not worth whatever trouble this can lead to...."

I felt my nostrils flared angrily as he tried to calm down, making me look down to me.

"Look at me.... Breathe...." she said. "Its okay....."

I took a deep breath as Mal then turned to face my mother.

"Ms. Richards, I'm sorry, but right now is not a good time. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave," Mal said.

"Excuse me?" she snapped.

"Please," she said. "We can discuss this some other time, but right now I am asking you to get off our property, please."

She gave Mal a glare before scoffing. "You really think just because you're married to my son you get to tell me what to do?"

"As his wife, I'm thinking on his sake, not mine," she snapped. "Now please, before I lose the little patience I have left..."

She just scoffed in annoyance. "This isn't over," she said, and stormed off.

Mal sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose, as if trying to calm down.

"Mal... You didn't have to do that," I said.

"You've done it when it was my mother... Its seemed fair...." she said.

I frowned and walked over. "Babe, are you sure you're okay?" I asked. "Maybe you should call in sick..."

"Nikki, I'm a chief nurse, I can't do that even if I wanted to," she sighed. "They need me..."

I pursed my lips and nodded.

"If anything, I have next weekend off," she assured. "Okay?"

I nodded. "So long as you're resting this weekend..." I said.

She took a deep breath and nodded as I pulled her into a hug.

"I really am sorry about that interview...." he said. "Should have never even agreed to it, I know you can't stand that reporter lady."

She sighed as she shook her head. "Doesn't matter anymore. Let's just head inside, I gotta be up soon."

I nodded as she held my hand and we headed inside.

Jack greeted us happily as we walked in, Mal kneeling down to pet him as I locked the door and made sure the gate outside was locked up, too.

"I can cook something quick for you before you go," she said as she stood up.

"Nah, its alright," I assured. "I was planning to have dinner at Mick's, keep him company."

She nodded as I walked over and pulled her into my arms, kissing her softly.

She kissed me back as the kiss deepened.

"Is this your apology?" she murmured as we kissed.

"You know I suck at words," I shrugged making her chuckle and roll her eyes.

She looked up at me with a small smile. "Its hard to stay mad at you forever..." she said.

I smiled as as continued to kiss and I pulled her closer to me.

"Why do I have a feeling you're going to make me late for work?" she said, pulling back and giving me a look.

I pretending to think about it, then smirking. "Its not a bad idea," I said. "It is a good stress reliever."

She scoffed a laugh and shook her head. "Nikki Sixx, what am I ever going to do with you?"

I chuckled softly. "I may have some ideas," he smiled.

She smiled and then rolled her eyes before taking my hand as we went upstairs.

***

*Mallory*

I curled up against Nikki as I listened to his heartbeat, curling the sheet closer around us.

I really enjoy moments like these. Whenever I'm with Nikki and we're just cuddled together in bed, it feels like the world around us disappears and its just me and him.

No rules. No drama. No management. No emergency calls. No problems whatsoever.

Its just us.

I sighed as I curled up against him.

"I love you," he said, pulling me closer.

I smiled as I looked up at him. "Ilive you, too..."

We leaned in and kissed each other.

"We still got two hours before you have to go," he murmured, making me laugh against his lips.

"Do you want me to rest or be more tired?" I joked. "Pick a side, Sixx."

He snickered as we kissed before we decided to get some sleep.

Its moments like this that I wish could last forever...

~~~~~

Sadly can't find any John Corabi gifs, and I still can't save tumblr gifs for some very strange reason... 😕😕

📻 Currently in Sapph's playlist:

Ricky Martin ft. Wilsin & Yandel "Fiebre"
(Translation: "Fever")

♡~ sapphire.