C

Fedosia's POV

I think Rosaline hates me now, but the more I avoid her, it makes me more desperate to speak to her again, although I know I'll just get snubbed.

I don't think many of the girls in my new class like me, I've received quite a few dirty looks from some of them.

I have a feeling my habit is coming back.

The habit I've tried to conquer.

It's building up again, and the urge has come back, but I know I can't let it take over me.

I'm over the past, I'm never going back to that habit again, it just gets me in trouble and harms other people.

It got me arrested, twice.

I should have stopped and restrained myself the first time, but I didn't.

I was too angry at the world.

So I carried on.

I first started shortly after I turned Eleven.

Melodie, my foster mother, has supported me through it all.

I love her.

Not as much as my parents and siblings, but I still love her.

I suffered from constant anger, anger at the world.

But after I got caught for the second time, I started to think properly.

My mind slowly cleared, and I began thinking properly.

I was unintentionally harming other people by what I was doing, and just causing myself guilt.

I knew that.

So I tried and tried and finally managed to get over it, and I got rid of the habit.

But not for good.

I still did it sometimes, and couldn't stop myself.

I knew it was wrong, of course I did.

I tried to get my life back on track, I acted friendly and nice towards people, I felt alone and wanted friends.

I don't speak to Rosaline for the rest of the week, scared of getting snapped at.

It was my fault, I annoyed her.

But I just wanted her attention, I wanted her to acknowledge my existence.

She's beautiful.

I try to talk again on Friday, 3 days later.

It's during French when I'm sat next to her, staring at her perfect skin and silky curls.

Her dark green eyes look at mine and my heart throbs, my mind filling with happiness.

I can't help myself.

"You look nice today, Rose."

"No I don't. I look sh*tty."

"No you don't. You look lovely."

"Whatever. Now shut up, I'm working."

Not this again.

"Can we perhaps -"

"No. I know what you're going to say. No. We can't hang out at lunchtime."

"Okay."

I see her again, last lesson.

We have to work together in drama.

Rosaline moans, "Miss Dexter, why?"

"Because she's your buddy." Miss Dexter replies firmly.

"I wish you weren't." Rosaline hisses at me, taking my hand and pulling me to the corner of the room.

We have to do a trust exercise, leaning back and falling into each other's arms.

"This is so embarrassing." Moans Rosaline.

"You go first."

"No, I'd knock you straight over."

"You're not fat!"

"Yeah, but I'm tall."

"I'm stronger than you think."

"Whatever." Rosaline snaps, but she goes first anyway.

The feeling of catching her in my arms creates a fizz of electricity that runs through me, and I feel warm and fuzzy.

"Your turn." Rosaline says sulkily.

She purposely misses the first time and I crash to the floor.

"That was highly dangerous. The floor is hard." I inform her.

"Shut up and get up. I'll do it properly this time, I promise." Rosaline says, when she's finished laughing.

"As if. Now it's YOUR turn again. " I say.

"Not happening."

"Rosaline Chambers, Fedosia Averin, stop chatting and get on with your task." Miss Kelly snapped.

Rosaline goes moody for the rest of the lesson and snaps at me if I ask her anything.

She runs straight out of school after class.