"That doesn't look right," Alina frowned as she peered into the large glass beaker.

"Neither of us have any idea what it's meant to look like," Katya rolled her eyes, though was eyeing it doubtfully too. "This is why we really shouldn't be doing this,"

"Come off it - you were as interested as me,"

Her friend smiled sheepishly. "True. Doesn't mean it's a good idea,"

This ill-advised experiment was triggered by the Healers refusing to replenish Alina's supply of sleeping tonic. Apparently there was a limited time that she could use it for; half a year at absolute maximum. As though nightmares had a time limit. Alina had not slept properly for a week now since they had taken her tonic away. Shortly after her thirteenth birthday, she had decided to resort to other means.

She and Katya spent hours in the library, in their usual alcove, poring over old medicinal textbooks and trying to hide what exactly they were looking at from Konstantin's watchful eye. Her Alkemi friend had stumbled across one possible option; an old formula from the Wandering Isle that caused the person ingesting it to experience feelings of immense calm and peace, enabling an easy sleep. The girl claimed it would be possible to recreate, given the labs had the necessary supplies, and Alina had waved off any doubts she had. Which led them to where they were now; surrounded by 'borrowed' equipment and ingredients in an abandoned corner of the cellars under the Fabrikator workshops.

"Well, we can test it," Alina reached into a nearby crate and pulled out a large rat, stolen from the laboratories in the Corporalki wing. It would almost definitely have a kinder fate here. "If the rat doesn't die, then we test it on a person,"

"Who?" Katya narrowed her eyes. "Alina, if you don't even want to try it yourself - "

"Alright then, we test it on me," She grinned. "Now come on, feed the rat,"

Katya used a pipette to collect a sample of the suspicious-looking concoction, carefully squeezing it into the squirming rat's mouth. Alina set the animal down in the run they had created from old boxes. They both stared as it scurried around.

"Now what?"

"These things take time," Her friend said. "Saints, you're lucky you weren't a Fabrikator. Or Healer,"

"If I was a Fabrikator or Healer, I wouldn't need this potion in the first place," Alina grumbled. "No one would bother kidnapping me then,"

Katya was about to reply, when the rat caught her attention. "Well, it's done something,"

The creature had slowed down, its path definitely wavering. Both girls watched intently as it slowed further and further, then flopped onto its back almost like a dog would, rolling lazily around.

"Looks peaceful and calm to me," Alina glanced at Katya.

"Looks asleep," She agreed as the rat stilled, curling up in a ball with its eyes closed.

"It's not dead, is it?"

"We should've brought Nina to check,"

"We should've," Alina knelt beside the run, licking her finger and placing it in front of the rat's nose. "It's breathing. Deeply. Well, deeply for a rat," She straightened up, grinning. "Perfect. Give me some of that and I'll take it tonight. People will notice if I'm asleep for ages now,"

"At least wait to see if it's still alive after a day," Katya stepped in front of the beaker before she could get near it. "I don't want you dying in your sleep. Because then it will get traced back to me, and the Darkling will have me make a whole vat of it, to drown myself in,"

"Then I'll haunt him forever," Alina shrugged, but listened to her friend. Katya definitely knew more about this than she did. "I'll give it one day. It doesn't have to be perfect. So long as I make it through the night without dying, that's fine. The Healers can fix any lasting consequences,"

The rat was still alive eight hours later. Alina checked just before dinner. That was good enough, surely? By the time she was going to bed it would have been twelve hours. She took a small vial of the potion and tucked it into her pocket.

Yuri Vasiliev called out an insult to her as she entered the hall from where he waited for his friends at the entrance. When passing his usual seat, in a moment of inspiration, or madness, Alina tipped several drops of the potion into his cup. It was proportionally a much lower dose than what they had given the rat, and she was going to have some herself soon anyway; he'd be fine.

The first sign that something was wrong occurred halfway through dinner; Yuri's eyes immediately found her own across the hall. Alina mouthed 'I won' and then he truly did look panicked. It got worse from there, however. Soon, he became very out-of-it, far too smiley, his eyes going in different directions. Soon he was passed out in his dinner. Alina had snorted into her own cup as he was whisked out of the hall to the Healer's wing, ignoring the questioning look the Darkling shot at her. She met Katya's disapproving glare from the Materialki tables, but her friend could not keep it up for long and had to bite back a smile.

Before she went to bed, Alina took a few drops of the potion herself. In many ways, it worked like a charm. She had never felt more calm and at peace. Feeling like she was floating, yet somehow like she was part of the floor at the same time, Alina drifted over to her dressing table and smiled blissfully at herself in the mirror, giggling every now and again. Brushing her hair felt incredible, and saints, lying down in her bed amongst the blankets and pillows was absolutely divine.

Alina did not realise when she went to sleep. All she knew was that once she did, she wanted to wake up again, because it didn't feel like going to sleep at all. The description in the book had said the potion may make her dreams a little more vivid and intense, but she had not appreciated exactly how vivid and intense that would actually be. She awoke the next day rather shell-shocked, feeling less rested than she had before she slept at all. A glance in the looking glass showed that her pupils were still blown, her face pale and clammy, and there were big dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was a wild birdsnest from how much she had been moving in her sleep. She looked like she had just escaped an asylum.

When she laid eyes on that wretched bottle of potion, Alina shut it away in her dresser drawer for a rainy day with a small shudder. She would just have to learn to live with the nightmares.

Yuri snitched on her, of course. Once he was free of the Healer's Wing, the hateful boy followed Alina to the cellar and discovered their setup as she tried to clean it up. The Healers proved it was the same formula that had been inside Yuri when he came to them; perfectly brewed, apparently (thanks to Katya), but illegal in Ravka for a reason. The Darkling was not pleased at all. Alina did not particularly care, until Katya was dragged into it. She tried claiming she made it alone, but that was not believable, and of course the only Alkemi she was close to was implicated.

"I won," Yuri sneered as he passed them scrubbing a hall on their hands and knees; Alina was guiltily helping Katya with her punishment as much as she could before her guards found her and stopped her on the Darkling's orders.

She threw a wet, dirty scrubbing brush at his head and grinned as it made a satisfying clunk. The idea of him suffering the same dreams that she had experienced through that night, but not having any idea what had caused them, was very amusing.

When she returned to her rooms, escorted by her guards, her irritation and amusement were both forgotten in an instant when she saw Genya was already there, sobbing quietly on the edge of her bed. Alina had made it clear that her rooms were to be her friend's refuge whenever she needed them, and had found her like this several times before.

"Not again," She hurried over to sit beside her friend, stomach twisting unpleasantly. "Please, Genya, let me do something. One word from the Darkling and you'll never have to see that hateful man again," She knew that Genya did not cry like this after every time the King assaulted her. Often Alina would not even know it had happened, as the girl wanted a distraction and didn't want to dwell on horrible things. But at times, when it got too much to hold in, she came to Alina.

For the first time, her friend did not argue with her. "I - I don't know if I can do this for much longer. I know I have an important job, and I want to be a good soldier, I just - " She broke off sobbing again.

"Is that what he told you?" Alina felt icy rage wash over her.

"The Darkling said that one day I'll get a Corporalki kefta and a high position for my service. It won't be forever. That's what I keep telling myself, but thinking of the... the King's - his hands on me and I can't, Alina, I just can't,"

"Please come with me," She all but begged. "He'll be in his study now. I'll come with you. I hate seeing what that man does to you,"

Genya was silent for a while then slowly, shakily nodded. Seizing the opportunity - something she had been driving herself mad wanting to do for years - Alina took her arm and helped her to her feet, heading down the corridor. She knocked on the Darkling's door.

"Enter," His face was impassive as he took in the two of them. One eyebrow raised and Alina felt Genya tense, shrinking back.

"The King is a criminal," She said before her friend could lose her nerve. "He - he hurts Genya. In the worst way possible. Often. For two years,"

The Darkling surveyed them. Then, "Alina, I do not think you need to be here for this conversation,"

"There shouldn't need to be a conversation," She snapped. "You just need to say that you'll take her away from that place, and not let her near that hateful man again. Make the next spy an ugly little boy,"

"Alina," Genya's soft voice silenced her. "Thank you, but it's fine. You can go,"

She bit her tongue but nodded once, leaving with a lingering look of warning at the Darkling. She went to wait in her rooms. Genya returned some time later, no longer crying, though her eyes were red.

"What did he say?" She was on her feet at once. "Can you move back into the Little Palace? Find a different job?"

"No," The girl sounded resigned. "He... he said I could, if I really wanted. But I thought about it - whether I'm a soldier or a servant - and I refused. No one's as good as I am at this. I... I can put up with it. It's part of the job. The worst has already happened, hasn't it? The King can't do anything to me that he hasn't already done,"

Alina could not speak for a few seconds with how angry that made her. It was a conscious effort not to shout in Genya's face; she wasn't the one she was angry with, after all. "They're his words coming out your mouth. The Darkling is playing you. This is what he does. He does it to me all the time. He gets into your head, and makes you think his ideas are your own. He's good at it. You went into that room telling me that you couldn't do it anymore, yet now you've completely changed your mind!"

"And there's a good reason for that," Genya said sharply. "If I stay, he's promised me revenge. I know you are trying to help, Alina, and I love you for it, I really do. But it is not your place to deny me that, nor tell me what I can and can't do,"

There were many things Alina could have replied with. But she was so furious she didn't trust herself to say anything more than, "Come to me when you need to. You can stay in my bed whenever you like,"

Even after her friend left, she was still angry; too angry to even dwell on the fact that the Darkling had promised Genya that she could take revenge on the King in a few years. Alina stomped around her room, getting ready for bed. Her kefta was dumped gracelessly in a heap on the floor. Brushing through her hair likely pulled half of it out. When she kicked off her boots with unnecessary violence, one of them hit a tapestry and made an odd, hollow noise. Rage-filled as she was, Alina knew she would not sleep. So of course she had to investigate.

*

"I found it last night," She grinned proudly at Nikolai, as they both stood in front of a small wooden door that had previously been hidden behind a tapestry in her chambers. "I... was annoyed and kicked off my shoe. It hit that tapestry and made a hollow noise. So after a bit of poking around, I found this,"

"Marvellous!" The Prince looked intrigued, opening the door and peering inside. "Where does it go? I don't believe for one second that you haven't already been through it,"

"It comes out behind the stables. There was a key in the lock, so I can make sure no one else comes through it," She raised an eyebrow at him. "Want to see?"

Nikolai did not give the reaction she expected or wanted. Instead, he looked a little sad. "You know ordinarily I would like nothing more than to crawl about in a secret cobwebbed tunnel with the Sun Summoner," He meant that, too. "But this was only meant to be a quick visit, Alina. I just wanted to say goodbye. I'm leaving. Today,"

"What do you mean you're leaving?"

Though he looked sad, Nikolai's eyes were shining with his usual enthusiasm and curiosity. "Every highborn son serves in the army at some point in their youth - the draft applies to everyone. In theory, at least - I'm sure I could get out of it if I wanted. But I don't. I'm joining the First Army as a private,"

"A private?" She said, incredulous. "Have you got a death wish? No highborn joins as a private?"

"No," He said. "They complete their service safe in the officer's tent, miles away from the front line, giving orders without any true qualifications, without understanding or even caring about the suffering they cause,"

"Whilst I agree completely," She scowled. "You do care, and you know a lot about war. You'd make a good officer. You'd do good things. They'd have to listen to you, you're a prince,"

"One day, perhaps," Her brilliant friend said, thoughtful for a moment, then grinned. "For now, I'm to slog in the mud in the thick of the fighting with the lowliest members of the First Army,"

"You're a stupid fool," She said, though knew he was anything but. "And very brave. Don't die," Please.

"Why, Alina, do you truly care about me so much?" Nikolai said in mock-delight.

"No. But someone needs to keep Vasily and your father in check," The boorish crown Prince had impressed Alina about as much as his father had, in the time since she had begun to attend court.

The Prince laughed, pulling her into a hug, which she returned tightly. "Be careful," He murmured in her ear. "Of everyone. I don't want to see you in danger. The wrong kind of danger," He amended, knowing that danger was exactly what thrilled her; both of them. "The kind you can't get out of. Don't trust my father, the Apparat, or anyone at court,"

"As if," She scoffed. "I'm one of the least trusting people alive,"

"True," She felt him smile. "But most importantly, Alina, don't trust the Darkling,"

She stiffened in his arms, but nodded wordlessly, knowing he was right. But he needn't have worried. Less than a week after Nikolai left, the Darkling was gone too, off to the front. In his absence, once again Ivan was left in charge and she continued to attend meetings with him.

It was the same every time the Darkling left. Part of Alina was glad he was gone. Glad for the freedom, glad for the lack of mind games, glad to just get on with her life. Yet another, traitorous part missed him. Missed the thrill of needling him, going up against him without needing to hold back. Missed wringing hard-earned smiles and even laughs out of him. And though she would rather die than admit such a thing, a very small part of her missed the way he looked at her sometimes; possessive, hungry, and like she was the most remarkable thing in the world. The rest of her hated that small part.

Perhaps it was that that led her to ask Baghra what he was like when he was young. Or, more likely, it was because she wanted a break. Alina was tired of fruitlessly trying to keep her whole body invisible whilst going through fighting stances, and sick of being hit on whatever body part the old hag (who didn't look old, especially since that occasion in the woods) could see.

"Why do you want to know, girl?" Came the predictably prickly reply.

"So I can blindside him with some obscure fact about his childhood in an argument," She said honestly.

That made Baghra laugh harshly. "Very well, then, I'll indulge you,"

"Really?" Alina thought it would be much harder than that.

"Don't look so surprised," She leaned back in her chair. "He was only three or so when this happened. I'd found an old cottage to stay in, about two miles away from a village. A young man had seen me buying supplies and followed me back. He thought I was pretty," The woman snorted. "I knew he was following, but could do nothing to stop him without raising suspicion. Let him think me a harmless unmarried mother living out in the woods to raise her child away from judging stares. When I got back, I took the boy on my lap and sung him a song my mother had sung to me, before she realised I was different, pretending I couldn't see the man staring through the window. My boy was confused - I never sang to him - but the young man left soon after.

"But after I came back from a hunt the next day, I found that he had returned. My shadows had been carrying a deer carcass, but the young man didn't see them. Must've thought I had the strength of two men to carry that thing. He was talking to the boy, which I didn't like. What had the child told him? I told him to leave, said I didn't want any of his flirtations, or his flowers. He did leave, but came back three days later. Stupid. Because this time he saw the boy playing with the shadows and tried to run. I Cut him in half before he could," She did not sound sorry. "The boy barely flinched. He'd already seen a lot of death by then,"

Alina blinked. "Are all your stories so bloodthirsty?"

"Most of them," Baghra said. "All the good ones,"

"Go on then," She was eager to waste more time, and to hear more. "Tell me another,"

"I'm not your grandmother to sit around telling you useless stories, girl,"

"And I'm more than glad you are not,"

"Hm," Baghra considered it. "Fine. When the boy was six, I was injured after a run-in with a group of Druskelle. Most of them died, of course, but I needed to recover. We stayed at some backwater village inn - we had no money, so I seduced the innkeeper and he gave us food and board for nothing - "

"You seduced - ?"

"Don't insult my pride with scorn or pity. That was far from the only time. I did what I had to so my son could eat. It is what it is,"

Alina fell silent, abashed, and Baghra continued. "Less than three days in, a Fjerdan man stumbled into the village half-crazed, talking about demons and witches. He took one look at me and blurted out to everyone - in very poor Ravkan - what I was. They understood 'witch' well enough. Me and the boy had to run from a mob chasing us with axes and pitchforks. Good thing he was quick," She chuckled dryly.

"They believed a Fjerdan over you?"

"Over an accused Grisha? Of course they did, girl, don't be foolish. That was hardly the only time we were run out of places,"

Alina thought for a moment. "Were you ever captured?"

"Only once. The boy was eight. The warden of Chernast used a desperate, enslaved Heartrender to bring us in. Once they had me, the boy was taken quickly after. He was half-scared of his powers back then, and didn't run even after I told him to. Probably for the best - he might have survived alone, he might not. They chained us in a dungeon for a week then hauled us out to be hung at dusk in front of a crowd of jeering townsfolk. The boy was terrified. Some of the otkazat'sya were protesting that he should not hang, that they didn't even know he was Grisha, that he was just a child. But then darkness fell and shadows spilled from his hands, despite the chains holding them apart. I knew then he'd be powerful, more powerful even than me. That distraction was enough. I managed to free myself, grabbed his hand and then we ran,"

"The more you speak, the more I understand where the Fold came from,"

"Bah," Baghra spat on the floor. "I went through it all, same as he did, and you don't see me tearing the country apart with a wall of shadow. But the boy was always passionate about that cause of his. I once forced him to hide when a group of captured Grisha were marched past. He wanted to save them, but of course I just wanted him safe. Anyone else could rot in hell - sometimes even other Grisha hated us, at that time. He was only ten, then, and already had that glint of ambition and hate in his eye,"

"Other Grisha hated you?"

"Hate is a strong word. They feared us, for sure. No one else like us existed. Rumours of shadow summoners were spoken in hushed voices. No Grisha wanted the attention of being around us. Not to mention that the boy was an amplifier. We arrived at a Grisha camp on the Fjerdan border when he was around thirteen. He befriended some girl there after he scared off some boys picking on her and her otkazat'sya sister. But in doing so, the girl realised what he was. She invited him to swim with her later on, but then froze the river and tried to kill him for his bones, to make into an amplifier. The bully from earlier came back and the two fought over him. My boy broke free and used the Cut on them both, the first time he ever used it. Then he Cut himself and claimed the otkazat'sya from the nearby village did it. The Grisha killed everyone in the village in revenge. He did what he had to. But I understood the desperation of those other children,"

"But they tried to kill your son?"

"If he hadn't been mine, I'd have tried to kill him. Powers were all a Grisha had back then. Anything to amplify them could be the difference between life and death. Those children were just trying to survive, as are we all,"

Alina paused to think on that. "Fair enough, I suppose," She hesitated. "When did... when did he find out what you did, to get food and board for free?"

"Early on. But by the time he was old enough to do anything about it other than glare and grumble, he understood. By then he'd done his fair share of it himself when it was a woman that needed persuading,"

She had nothing to say to that.

Baghra spoke again. "Get that look off your face. It's just another exchange of services. Got me a place in a very grand country house, once, by laying with its lord. The boy wasn't happy, of course - by then, we could not pass as mother and son, so said we were brother and sister. He fell for some serving girl there, who was hiding her Tidemaker powers and terrified of discovery. They had a charming little love affair, but we had to move on eventually. The lord was mistreating me beyond the usual, so I reduced him to a gibbering madman and we fled in the night with armfuls of valuables. My son's little friend was too afraid to join, though I know that he asked her to,"

It was hard to imagine the Darkling in love with anyone.

"Can you show me how to reduce someone to a gibbering madman?"

"Hah!" Baghra scoffed. "I'm not so sure, girl. You're too small and pretty, for now. And you summon light, not shadow,"

"Looks have got nothing to do with it. I mean this in the least complimentary way possible, but you are beautiful, especially when you use your powers. In the way a banshee, witch or vampire is beautiful," She grinned at Baghra's narrowed eyes. "Perhaps you have a point. I look like an angry pixie at the best of times,"

"You talk too much," The woman sniffed. "Don't think you can distract me further. Get back to trying to turn yourself invisible. At least then you could convince someone you are a ghost,"

*

Ivan was in charge of the council meetings in the Darkling's absence. Alina, for her part, was rather well-behaved. It wasn't as fun provoking Ivan as it was the Darkling. She sat in her corner and made notes; most seemed to forget she was even there.

Her suspicions were raised when the meeting seemed to have not yet come to a close, but she was asked to leave anyway. Alina lingered outside the door; Arkady was the oprichnik on guard, he wouldn't care.

"I understand your concerns," Sofia was saying. "But I disagree. The girl is thirteen years old, Leonid. I'm sure you were not a picture of sensible leadership at thirteen. In fact, I remember Healing you and your friends when you were around that age for a set of unfortunate injuries,"

They were talking about her. No wonder they had sent her away!

Leonid Zaitsev seemed to make a good show of not being embarrassed. "I do not deny that everyone gets into a bit of trouble as a child. But there is a difference between a childish prank gone wrong, and regular fights, missing lessons, reckless behaviour, brewing Kaelish drugs and spiking other students. I like Alina Starkova, I truly do - she's an entertaining and charismatic young girl - but what happens when she grows older? She cannot settle political disagreements by losing her temper or lashing out. She cannot go rogue on the battlefield and do as she sees fit. She cannot simply do as she pleases,"

"Children grow up," Inessa Zakharova's sharp smile was audible. "That girl quicker than most, considering what she's been through. Underneath all of it, she's clever, she's brave, and she can think for herself," I knew I liked you.

"That's all well and good," Ilya Orlov said. "If it didn't get wasted with childish antics and even more reckless behaviour," Great, another one of the council who disliked her.

"I am surprised Alina has held it together as well as she has and remains a functional child," Sofia said sternly. "We have shellshocked soldiers come back from the front having been through less than she has,"

"Exactly. She's hardly stable," Leonid implored them, trying to sound like he cared about her. "Maybe a less active role would be more suited. It would be easier on her and better for her wellbeing,"

"And what would that entail?" She could practically see Sofia's raised eyebrow.

Leonid grimaced. "I dislike the Apparat as much as any Grisha, but the man is not a fool. If we were to halt her training in the Small Science and present her as a holy Sankta, who goes to church, mingles with the commoners, performs miracles and strives to bring down the Fold, a paragon of virtue and goodness... It would do a lot for how the otkazat'sya view Grisha. We may not be hunted in Ravka, but we are still feared and distrusted. The palace walls are high for a reason,"

Alina's blood ran cold at his words. He never would have dared suggest that if the Darkling was here. Nor if she was there, she realised; that was why he sent her out.

Inessa laughed derisively. "You want to turn that girl into a Sankta? I wish you luck. You've got more chance of convincing the General to kiss the King's royal arse. Suggesting the latter may be less dangerous than trying to tell Alina that she has to go forth and mingle with crowds of worshippers,"

"Though your crass wording leaves much to be desired, Inessa, I agree," Sofia said sternly. "Don't be a fool, Leonid. The girl was kidnapped and almost murdered by her followers, and what happened? She and Baghra slaughtered them to a man. That aside, you've seen her in court. She clearly despises any mention of Sankta Alina, and I can't say I blame her. Throwing her into a fervent crowd with no escape would be as good as dropping a bomb in their midst," Alina could not say she was exaggerating. The very thought was making the panic rise in her.

"Perhaps with some coaching - "

"With some coaching, she could far more easily become a little more responsible, a little more measured, and play the part she is currently intended to play. From a Healer's perspective, it will take considerably more than coaching to fix the deep-rooted terror she has attached to being a saint,"

"Or we could be giving more weapons to a loose canon which might blow back in our faces. The Darkling wants an amplifier for her - as if she needs one! She is not as strong as him yet, but who's to say she won't become... troublesome in the future?"

"Perhaps," Mila Tarasova, the terrifying Head of Intelligence, spoke for the first time, her voice quiet but everyone listened; she rarely spoke in these meetings unless addressed first, or if a subject required her expertise. "It is not a bad thing that there will be someone both strong enough and brave enough to stand up to him every so often. Better than a mindless puppet used as a deadly weapon. Or a false symbol of hope,"

"Enough," Ivan finally spoke, teeth gritted. The room fell silent. "We will speak no more of Alina Starkova without the General present, nor question his judgement in the matter. She is his responsibility, his to do with as he sees fit," Ever the faithful little lapdog.

"Should it be?" Sofia arched an eyebrow. "Should we trust that young girl's entire existence to one powerful man?"

Alina had heard enough. Almost shaking with rage, she shoved open the door and strode into the room, all heads turning sharply her way. But she couldn't show her anger here at all, she realised at the last second, or she would be proving those who doubted her right. So instead she fixed a cold smile on her face.

"Yes I was eavesdropping, that is quite obvious. I'm flattered that you think I could be a threat to the General himself, sir," She said to Leonid, looking him straight in the eye. "What other ideas have you got to turn me into a saint? You mentioned shoving me into a crowd of grasping worshippers. Well, I've got nine more fingers, after all - a whole head of hair, and veins full of blood. Would selling Sankta Alina relics change how the otkazat'sya view us? Where would the line be drawn? You could even give me a public flogging. People do like their saints to suffer,"

Inessa's eyes were glinting in amusement. Sofia was watching, mouth in a thin line, though waited to see how this would play out. Ilya was clearly disapproving. Mila's expression was unreadable.

"You misunderstand me, Miss Starkova," Leonid smiled warmly, but from the look in his eye she knew she'd got to him, whether that was her unsettling words, or the fact that she may tell the Darkling. "I would never put you in any danger. Quite the opposite - you have been through so many hardships that I suggested the idea so you can leave a more peaceful life,"

"What you described is the worst kind of torment you could do to me," She said, smile dropping, tone cold. "When people grasp at me, to touch Sankta Alina, it makes my skin crawl. When they pray to me, it makes me want to vomit. I wake up screaming most nights from nightmares of being trapped in a fervent crowd, of being martyred in the Fold, of having my finger cut off to hang round some man's neck as I plead for him to stop. So don't you ever suggest condemning me to that for the rest of my life, because if you did I'd run from here and never come back, and if I couldn't do that then I'd turn the Cut upon myself,"

"What Leonid is trying to say - " Ilya started, but Alina cut him off.

"Stop it. I heard enough before. Feel free to think I'm reckless and childish. But I'm not an idiot, so do not treat me like one. If you are going to say I'm a danger to the Second Army, then at least have the guts to say it in front of me, or the Darkling. It's hard to respect opinions from someone too spineless to do even that,"

With that, she left, wondering if she had just made an even bigger mistake.

*

Needless to say, I do not condone whipping up a batch of obscure psychedelic drugs to help yourself sleep better but Alina is thirteen and not that good at thinking about consequences. Out of curiosity, what do you think of the council? I wanted to include Alina learning about government because it makes her becoming a leader in the future much less like favouritism and actually means she's qualified to make well-informed decisions on behalf of the country. And I didn't want the council just being a faceless collection of people, hence why they have personalities. Oh and one of Baghra's stories is paraphrased from the Demon In The Wood by Leigh Bardugo.

Thanks so much for all your kind comments, they mean a lot! Any other suggestions about where you want this story to go would be much appreciated.