Luke's POV

You know the feeling when you have done something terribly wrong but you still don't want it to be true. You want your mistakes to disappear, never to be known to the people you care about. Well, that was what I was feeling right now.

I was sitting with my back against the wall and my knees up to my chest, I watched Emily as she slept, not having the power to hold her in my arms.

She looked beautiful as always. Her eyes closed, making her lashes seem longer than they already were. She was breathing uniformly but her mouth was hung open.

She was drooling, but she still looked cute.

Normally, I would find some irritating way to wake her up. Especially today, since it was the only day she and I had to spend together before she leaves to go home tomorrow.

But today I just couldn't find the courage to disrupt her peaceful sleep.

I looked down, holding my head in my hands.

What did I do?

The events of last night were blurry to me and the headache wasn't really helping. I tried hard to recall what happened. What actually happened?

"Hey, Luke. You look good tonight." I hear some say beside me. I turn sideways and see a figure, a female one.

"Who are you?" I ask, narrowing my eyes to get the girl's face to focus. Have I gone blind?

"I'm the girl you love, Luke. The one you really love." Her voice sounds squeaky.

I take another shot of whatever the hell the bartender is serving me. It tastes funny.

"I love someone but I haven't told her that. Her name is pumpkin by the way." I say, still trying to make out who she is.

"She isn't really orange. I just call her pumpkin cause she is cute." I babble.

"Luke?" Emily's voice brings me back to reality. I look up to see her sitting up on the bed in front of me, her eyes still hazy from sleep.

"Emily." I reply, my heart hammering in my chest. My voice comes out hoarse.

"You're back. When did you get back? I was worried. Why are you on the floor? Did you roll away to the wall while sleeping?" she says groggily. I almost smile at her question, she was funny without even trying it.

"Emily, I..." I start, now standing up on the floor but she interrupts me.

"Oh I brought a gift for you! Let me just get it." She says, getting up and walking past me but I grab her wrist, stopping her.

"Emily, I need to talk to you." I say.

Her eyes suddenly clear out hearing the tone in my voice.

"Is everything alright, Luke?" she asks, her eyes filled with worry as she grabs my hand properly.

My heart stutters a little.

"Luke, I'm here. I'm your pumpkin." The voice says.

"Pumpkin? I thought you were hopping at the ball." I reply, confused.

"Oh you mean shopping at the mall?" the voice squeaks. Is pumpkin sick? She sounds funny.

"Yeah, yeah that. I thought you were-..." I was cut off when someone's lips touched mine.

"Luke? Luke, are you there?" I look towards Emily who is even more worried now.

Don't keep her in the dark. Tell her. The voice in my head says. I wasn't even sure what happened last night, whatever I drank made me feel light-headed faster than normal alcohol. But I have to tell her. I have to tell her what I think I know happened before she finds out from someone else.

"Last night, I was really drunk, Ems." I start. "I was totally wasted to the point where I didn't even know what I was drinking. But I had my senses in control just enough to differentiate my friend's voice. My vision had grown blurry and I thought it was you-..." I desperately try to form a coherent sentence.

"What are you trying to say, Luke? I don't understand." Emily says, her tone distressed as if she was expecting the worst.

"There was this girl. I didn't even know who she was. Her voice was sharp. She said she was you, like really you and that she had gone hopping at the ball. No. no, shopping at the mall, I think." I try to concentrate and grab as much memory I can but my stupid brain fails me.

The Chap Stick was strawberry flavored. Strawberry? Pumpkin didn't like strawberry. Her chap stick was always lemon flavored, which had also become my favorite flavor. She was kissing too fast, too sloppy. She is never so disorientated. Her kisses are always sweet, rhythmic, perfectly synced with mine.

Is this really my pumpkin?

I pull away, frowning.

"You're not, not her...who ar-..." I start, my head clears a little.

"Luke! What the fuck?" someone calls, grabbing my shoulders and roughly pulling me away.

"Luke what did you do?" Emily asks, and I see her eyes welling up.

My heart broke a little at the sight. I hadn't seen Emily cry in a long, long time. She was happy. And I was happy because I was the reason she was happy. And now I am the reason that she is crying.

"I'm sorry, Emily. I didn't... She kissed me-..."

"Did you kiss her back?" she asks, her voice shaky. She starts to lose the hold she had on my hand but I grab it tighter. I can't let her get away.

"Luke? Tell me. Did you kiss her back?" she asks again

"I was drunk-...Ems."

"Damn it, Luke just tell me if you kissed her back." She says, pulling her hand out of my mine.

I stayed quiet. I stayed quiet because at first I had believed she was there at the club, I had believed that she was my pumpkin even if she sounded different. I stayed quite because at first, I had kissed her back.

"Ems." I reach out to take her hand.

"No." She takes a step back. A tear slips out of her eye.

Fuck.

"Ems, please."

"Please what? Forgive you for kissing someone else?" she says, growing defensive. "I can't, can I? I can't simply just forget what happened." She says.

"I'm sorry." I say the only words that come to my mind.

"I can't, I... I have to go." She says, looking at me for just a second before turning around leaving.

I felt my heart break the moment I heard the door shut loudly. I sank down to my knees. It hurt. My chest hurt and I took a shaky breath.

The hollowness was soon filled with fury. Anger towards the person who kissed me last night. I grit my teeth, fisting my hands so tightly that I could feel my blood circulation stopping.

In order to release my anger, I punched the thing nearest to me, it was the foot of the bed. I punched it and I kept punching it until I couldn't anymore. And when I couldn't, I laid my head in my arms, breathing heavily until I fell asleep.

The knocking on my door wakes me up. I sit up on the floor. I squint my eyes, which hurts. The knocking continues and feel a massive headache coming up. I get up on the floor and stumble towards the door. I open it just slightly and stand back. The person on the other side pushes the door apart.

"Have you been crying?" Cole asks me seeing my face. I hadn't looked at my face but I could guess that it wasn't in the best shape right now and neither the rest of my body.

"Luke?" Cole says again, snapping me to reality.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm not really feeling great." I say, dumping my butt on the bed.

"I can see that. I heard what happened." Cole says, shutting the door behind him. I met his eyes, they had disbelieve in them.

"I didn't mean it, man. I was dead drunk. I had suspected something wasn't right. My eyes were hazy. It's all fucked up in my mind." I say, rubbing my hand on my head, trying to rub out the headache.

"Luke, did-..." Cole starts but is interrupted by a loud banging on my door. I stand up again, seeing spots in front of my eyes.

As soon as I unlock the door, it flies open so hard that I'm lucky it doesn't hit my face. And suddenly, I'm grabbed by my collar and pushed up against the wall. My head spins and the pain worsens.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Justin shouts in my face, anger flowing out of him.

"Dude-..." I try to say but Justin cuts me off.

"Don't 'dude' me you dumbass, wait, have you been crying?" Justin loses his hold just enough for me to breathe properly. I sigh.

"Hey, I tried to stop him before he could break your bones, Luke but he runs like a cheetah, have you been crying?" Alex enters the room panting heavily.

I am a jolly person. I get sad a lot but I don't cry, not over something that not important. But Emily is important. She is worth everything to me.

"Justin, if you could let go of me, I-..." I start again but Justin cuts me off.

"Hell to the no! How could you do that to her, Luke?" he asks, harshly.

"Dude, please, I can feel something crawling up in my stomach." I groan. Shit. I had never felt this way. This was way worse than a hangover.

When I couldn't hold it down anymore, I pushed Justin as hard as I could and rushed to the bathroom. I puked out everything that was in my system. My stomach rolled and I couldn't stop myself. When I was finally finished, I flushed the toilet and on the cold bathroom floor holding my head in my hands.

I realized the irony of the situation. I had found out that Emily was anorexic right here. She was making herself throw up and the sight had broken my heart. I had comforted her, held her in my arms. I had helped her get better. And now here I am puking out everything with no one to comfort me.

"Fuck man, the bartender must've given you some strong shit. I've never seen that color come out of your mouth." Cole says, blowing out a breath.

I agree with him. I handled my alcohol well. I had hangovers but they didn't involve puking. I just got really bad headaches, nothing some pills couldn't treat.

"C'mon dude, you need to get cleaned up and you need medicine and brush your teeth thoroughly, your breath smells like rotten eggs." Alex says, giving me a hand and helping me to stand up. I lean on the wall for support.

They leave me in the bathroom to get cleaned up. I take a bath, scrubbing my skin way too roughly. I brush my teeth twice. When I enter my room, a sandwich is thrown my way, which, due to my disorientated stature, I fail to catch. I sit down on my bed quietly eating it off.

Justin passes me two pills and some water. I look at him for a moment, before taking the pills from him and muttering a small 'thanks'.

When all the hustle is over, I try to look at my friends in the face but the shame prevents me.

"Luke." Justin starts from beside me and I look at him hesitantly. "I am disappointed in you, angry too but I'm willing to accept that maybe it wasn't all your fault. However, you still had a part in whatever happened. Even if it was all planned by someone and you were the victim, you still acted carelessly." he sighs deeply.

I had a feeling that he wanted to say more but stopped when his phone buzzed. He fished it out of his pocket. He checked whatever message he had received and frown appeared on his face. We all waited patiently for him to tell us but he just stood up.

"I've gotta go. It's important." He says walking towards the door. He turns around gives me a long knowing look before leaving with a soft thud.

"Well, that was something." Alex says. "But I agree with Justin. Maybe is not all your fault but you are guilty for a part of it. As much as I wanna punch you in the face for hurting Emily, you look like you're about to pass out. I suggest you get some rest, we'll talk about this when you get over your hangover." He completes.

"Yeah, Luke. Just get better, okay?" Cole adds.

"Thanks guys for...you know." I try to convey to them, hoping they understand what I meant.

"No problem man. We all screw up. No one is perfect. That doesn't mean we should abandon our friend." Cole says before they leave.

Heaving out a shaky sigh, I decide to get some sleep. I check the time to see its only noon. Damn this day is going slow. Shaking my head, I lay down on the bed and within minutes, I fall asleep.

I don't know how much time passes but I'm woken up by a loud thud. I sit up slowly, feeling much better than before. When my vision clears out a bit, I see Justin dragging a suitcase towards the door.

"What's happening?" I say with a cringe when I realize how scratchy my voice sounds.

"Umm, Emily decided to leave for home today instead of tomorrow." He replies.

"Was that her shutting the door a few seconds ago?"

"Yeah, she's just outside." He says.

I stand up, wanting desperately to see her. She was just a few steps away, so close yet so far. But I knew she wouldn't want to see me, or even talk to me, maybe ever.

"Luke? Are you okay?" Justin asks with a worried face.

"Yeah. I want to see her but on the other hand I know she doesn't want to see me." I reply.

It took some time for him to reply.

"Luke, I've known you longer than I have known Emily. But she's going to be my family soon. So I have to be by her side through this. She's hurt, Luke. As I said earlier, you may not be entirely guilty, I'm sure she'll realize that, but you still hurt her. She just needs some time to process things."

"Meanwhile, you should really start looking into who that girl was that you kissed." he suggests. I give him a weak nod.

"Hey, man. It'll be alright." He assures, giving me a hug.

"Call me if you need anything, anything. Okay?" he finishes before leaving the room. There is a soft thud again and then complete silence.

"Okay." I say to no one in particular.

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This chapter is short, I know. But I worked really hard on it. Tell me if you like it!

I also wanted to thank you all for the support you've given to this book. I had never imagined that so many people would like this book. So thank you! And I love you!

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