Feeling author's note:

Thank you so much for reading this far.

_________________

Everything seemed fogged when you opened your eyes. You felt like your head would split into two due to its searing pain. And In between your thighs was a sore sensation. Muddy vision? It must be the effect of oversleeping and abrupt waking. Headache? Certainly brought by the alcoholic liquor that you consumed with a great amount last night. But a pain down your womanhood? Fucking weird and impossible. You don't do yourself, neither do you let a man do you. Though you have nothing against women who finger themselves to satisfy their need, neither you were stigmatizing their sexcapades or pre-marital make out with men. Not ever.

Slowly, you tried to pull yourself to sit upright. Then you tickled at the touch of the comforter covering your body when it slipped downwards as you sat. Your heart throbbed in panic. Your mouth gaped a fraction. Your eyes broadened. The thoughts of your goals in life of finishing your degree in Psychology, your dream of being a lawyer, and your mission as a dutiful sister to your brother, all of them went shattered when you found yourself unclothed.

You forced yourself to remember what happened last night, but the only vivid memory you could recall was your trip around Tagaytay with Melo and Mayor Manolo, and your near death experience of drinking bottles of alcoholic liquors. The rest of the occurrences last night were blurry. So was what you were feeling down there. The reason was a blur.

Not until you roamed your eyes around the hotel room you were in. You nearly sighed in relief 'cause you were still in the same room your boss paid for. But you nearly bawled your eyes when you felt someone move beside you. Judging by the figure, surely it was a human's. A tall human with no identity. Yet. Was it Melo? Kind of impossible. He wouldn't let you sleep beside him. Was it Nestor? You doubted, 'cause he wasn't blessed with a towering figure. Was it Mayor Manolo? Why would he even stay in the hotel, and why would he sleep with you? Was it a random stranger? Possible.

But no.

'Cause the human started to move further till it removed the comforter that'd been covering his/her/their physique and visage.

You suddenly felt the need for a shot of energy drink. Or a hard punch on the face. Or a bucket of water full of ice tubes. Or anything that would wake you up from your dreams. But you weren't dreaming.

It was Melo. Naked. Wide-eyed taking a peek of himself under the comforter laying on his lower body. Then he tossed a glance at you with complete and utter stupefaction.

In chorus, while covering your bodies with the comforter, the two of you said,

"What the fuck did you do to me?!"

"Ano'ng ginawa mo sa 'kin?!"

Ano nga bang ginawa namin sa isa't isa? You thought. Obviously, you drunkenly brought each other to heaven with no protection at all, even just the cheapest condom that could be bought at 7/11 nationwide and internationally.

"You raped me!" He screamed at you while slamming his fists repeatedly on the mattress. "I'll sue you! I swear I'll sue you! I'll sue you for this, you son of a bitch!"

Aba, putang inang 'to?! Ako ba 'tong may titi?! Siya ba 'tong nawasak ang pagkababae? you told yourself while staring at him in disbelief, with your eyes watering. This couldn't be.

"Idedemanda rin kita!" Sigaw mo rin. Kaso wala ka nga palang pera para sa serbisyo ng magaling na abogado, kaya saang kamay ng Diyos mo naman kukunin ang pera pambayad? Pero may PAO nga pala. Kaya biglang lumiwanag ang mukha mo at nagkaroon ka ng lakas ng loob para dagdagan ang nauna mo pang sinabi. "Ano'ng akala mo sa 'kin, pagpapantasyahan kita?! Pinalaki naman ako nang maayos ni Mama! NBSB ako, never been touched, and never been kissed! Kaya kung iniisip mong ginalaw kita, imposible! Kahit umabot pa tayo sa korte, hindi ako aatras! Sino'ng tinakot mo!?"

He looked surprised with the attitude you dished him. For the first time in forever, you raised your voice at him. One thing you shouldn't do else you'd be bidding your goodbye to your job. But the situation was different, 'cause you couldn't care less. Kahit sabunutan mo pa siya, sipain mo, o sapakin mo, gagawin mo talaga. 'Cause, why not? Malay mo ba baka nabuntis ka niya. Paninindigan ka ba niya? Malamang hindi. Unang-unang hindi ka lalaki. Pangalawa secretary ka lang niya. Pangatlo ayaw mo sa kanya at mas lalong ayaw niya sa 'yo. You guys are in a lose-lose situation.

"And what do you think of me?! An uneducated and unparented piece of shit?! As far as I can remember, you didn't finish your degree. So apparently, you're the one who's at the bottom here! Kaya kung may paniniwalaan sa korte, ako 'yon!"

You didn't finish your degree. You're the one who's at the bottom. Mga salitang nakakababa ng pagkatao, lalo na sa parte mo. Was it your fault that your mother died and your father committed adultery, and you're left with nothing? No. Wala kang kasalanan. Sadyang may mga tao lang talagang mababa ang tingin sa mga hindi nakapagtapos, na akala mo ang taas-taas na ng narating kesyo may diplomang pinanghahawakan at ikaw wala. Parang siya. Parang boss mo. Lakas makagago. At nasaktan ka nang sobra, pero pinilit mong 'wag ipakita sa kanyang apektado ka.

"At ano'ng kinalaman ng hindi ko pagtatapos dito, ha?! Hindi man ako nakatapos at least mukha akong may pinag-aralan. Eh, ikaw?! Gumraduate nga, mukha namang walang pinag-aralan! Manyak pa! Panagutan mo 'kong bakla ka! Hayop ka!"

"What the heck?! Panagutan? In your fucking dreams! Even in my second life, I won't marry you!"

The feeling was mutual, kahit nga sa third, fourth, o fifth, hindi mo rin siya pakakasalan, but you knew that wasn't your point. Your point was, if ever you'd conceive a child in consequence of what happened to you and him, it would be his obligation to father your child whether he'd agree or not. But it seemed to you that he didn't catch a logic from you, causing you to say,

"Sinabi ko bang pakasalan mo 'ko?! Ang sinasabi ko lang, panagutan mo 'ko! Kung may mabuong-"

But you weren't able to continue what you were about to say when the doorbell rang.

"Open it! Magmadali!" He yelled.

You grew weary 'cause you had to open the door, but you were naked and your clothes were nowhere to be found. The only clothing your eyes could see was his shirt that was just scattered on the floor, inches away from your side. So you took it. He complained. You just ignored him. He wouldn't have any alternative clothing to offer you anyway.

On your way to the doorway, you picked up all your scattered clothes and dumped them somewhere. But of course you took your undergarments and wore them before opening the door for whoever the visitor was. Nakasisira naman ng reputasyon kung pagbubuksan mo ng pintuan ang bisita nang naka t-shirt ka lang at nakabakat ang mga posibleng bumakat.

So you swung the door open, there you saw Mayor Manolo, beaming at you. On his left hand were paper bags of take outs from Army Navy. On his right was an envelope, containing something you don't know but you could've known, had you not been a drunkard last night.

"Good morning, my grandchildren," he greeted as soon as he stepped inside, tossing his glance alternately from you then to Melo who already came out from the room after a few when you left.

Melo's his only grandchild, you're not. So you displayed a stupefied look because of how he addressed you, still, he continued beaming at you like calling you his grandchild was a prevalent endearment.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at your office?" Melo asked his grandfather as all three of you took your respective seats at the dining area.

"Yes, but I want to drop by here first before heading to my work," Mayor replied. "We rarely see each other, apo. I'm making the most out of it."

Melo didn't bother to reply, instead, he took a box of Blueberry pancakes from the paper bag and ate.

Mayor then handed you a cup of coffee and a box containing the same meal as your boss'.

"How was your night, by the way, Melo and Sirach?" He was giving the both of you a wide curve on the lips and a glimpse of I-know-something-you-don't. "It seems to me that you guys enjoyed your honeymoon. Does that mean I'll be meeting my great grandchild soon?"

"What?!"

"Ano?!"

"Oh, come on, kids! Last night was a blast!" Mayor said with too much joy painted all over his face. "Don't tell me you can't remember anything?"

"Detail me with everything, right here, right now, Mr. Clean! Else I'll ram this pancake over your baldness!"

Mayor doubled over laughter before saying, "I wedded you last night! Isn't that great?!"

Melo couldn't utter a word anymore.

Whereas, you couldn't understand a thing. Like how could he do that? He needed a consent from your parents or guardian for him to wed you and Melo, 'cause you're only twenty and not twenty-five and over.

Unless your father who doesn't give a damn about you and your brother, gave his fucking consent. He really is a one in a million bastard if that was the case.