Bubonic Plague: Black Plague, Bubonic Plague, whatever you want to call me! Im still the deadliest disease in the world!
Flu Virus: Nigga really
Ebola: guys did you see me two years ago
Swine:*snorting*
Spanish Flu:*distantly* TWO PERCENT!

Common Cold: OMG you guys are adorable(<-- has killed 5,000,000,000+)