Nico di Angelo

Well shit, there goes my excuse to like be an asshole now. I have to figure out how to actually talk to him now.

So I invited him over. It was going to be weird at first, sure. But it had to start somewhere. Our friendship or whatever it would be.

After breakfast, he knocked on my door. I told him to stop in after breakfast. And he did, surprisingly enough.

I opened the door and he just... Kind of looked like shit. I assumed it was the break up. His first one, right?

"Hey," I said, half expecting him to not show up. "You actually showed up."

"Well you told me to stop by." He reasoned, shrugging. "I have nothing to do today as it is. So I'm here."

I let him in and he looked around for a minute, only being in here once before. Before I redecorated. So he hasn't seen it as it is now.

And then... I uh, I I noticed the bandages on his arms. I saw a little peek our from under his shirt, too. He was wearing long sleeves despite it being summer.

"So what's up?" Percy asked me, cutting straight to the point.

"Um..." I tried to keep myself from looking at his arms constantly. "Leo talked to you yesterday, right? At the mall. About us like not getting along or whatever."

"Yeah!" He told me, nodding his head. "He asked me why we don't get along. I told him your sister died and it just never got better between us after that. Because I mean, that's mostly what happened. Why? Is that what you guys were talking about this morning?"

I nodded my head.

"It was." I confirmed for him. "But now Leo is on my ass about it and Jason has been for almost a year now. So I suppose you deserve to know that I don't hate you. Hate your... Apparently now ex-girlfriend. Annabeth. But yeah. I don't hate you. I just... Am bad with people and words and dealing with those two put together. I'm an asshole. It just turned out like that when I was on the streets and all. So yeah. Sorry to like... Yeah."

That was news to him.

"You don't..." Percy started and I mean he seemed fine with it. "What the hell, Nico. I decided literally yesterday on my way to meet you guys that I was going to learn to live with you hating me. I accepted this yesterday. Also, sorry about Annabeth. She was... You were right about her being controlling. And other things."

I assured him that it was no big deal. And said sorry, but get used to me still being an asshole but not giving him glares 24/7.

"I can live with that." He remarked and I looked at his arms again. But this time, it didn't go unnoticed. "What?"

"What happened to.your arms?"

By force of habit, he pulled his sleeves down further. It wasn't really possible. But he pulled down on them anyways. Suddenly looking like he was fragile. Could break like that.

"Um, nothing." He lied. "I just had a bad night last night. Unrelated to the break up. It happens sometimes."

My heart dropped into my chest as I realized what that meant.

Percy cuts.

Not knowing how I could ever respond to that, I just gave him a hug. I didn't know what to say or do. It seemed the most appropriate thing to do without coming on too strong. It showed that I cared. But yeah.

Same situation on his stomach. He tensed up when I accidentally made contact with his stomach. I apologized and repositioned.

I meant yeah, I've cut. A few times when I was younger. Bianca's death was still new and I wasn't coping well. I was also dealing with feelings for Percy because that was brand new and they just butted heads and clashed in my mind and gave me all sorts of hell.

But not anymore. I stopped a couple years ago. Between the Labyrinth and the actual Second Titan War.

Now I knew my focus was going to be entirely and completely on him and why the hell he would ever do it.

He returned the hug. It was a little painful for him at first, but he returned it and I asked him why. What happened. What's going on that he would cut. And it took me until asking him that to notice that he was crying.

I've never seen him cry.

Perseus Jackson was trusting me to see him cry. To see him vulnerable and at his worst.

He trusted me. Nico di Angelo. The son of Hades. For no probably good reason.

We sat down on the couch and he leaned against me, playing with my hand because it seemed to calm him down and that's all I cared right now.

"I don't know why I do it." He answered my questions from earlier.  "I just sort of always did when something shirt happened or when I was feeling shitty and by the time Annabeth left last night I felt pretty shitty. To be honest, I was hoping on or waking up this morning. But apparently not."

"Why wouldn't you wake up?"

"I tried to OD."

My heart shattered.

Have you ever broken a plate or a glass or something before? When it happens, it was freaks you out and you get a little worried and it's like an adrenaline almost sort of thing for a few moments. Especially at somebody else's house when you don't know if that thing had any significance or not.

Those few moments of panic and worry and just taking in what happened after you break a glass is what I felt like. Just add in an almost hollow feeling to where my heart is.

Because, for a few seconds, I froze. Thinking about that terrified me. What would've happened if he didn't wake up this morning? If he actually did overdose and die? Like I don't... I don't think I'd be able to live with that.

Ignoring any fucking boundaries between two guy friends, I hugged / cuddled him up and tried to make it not physically painful for him. But I mean... With how emotional pain he had going on inside of him, he would've never noticed it anyways.

Soon enough he was sobbing into my shirt. And I hated it. Because I hated seeing him like this. When all I can do is talk to him and reassure him that it's going to be okay when I don't know that and I can't promise that.

Of course, he was blubbering about this, that, and the other thing. But I couldn't understand what he was saying. So I did what I could. And by the time he calmed down, it was twenty minutes until lunch and he wasn't the mood. He just wanted to sleep.

So I let him fall asleep in my room and headed to lunch. Where Leo was waiting for me. Knowing I invited Percy over.

"Nico!" He was excited, none the less. And I was still... Just running through it in my head. That Percy cuts. He's suicidal. He hates himself. Tried killing himself last fucking night. "Dude, how did it go?"

"Um," how do I explain that. "I mean, for us it was good. We established that we don't hate each other right away. And I have to bring him some food. He kind of uh... Has some problems."

"Problems?"

"He tried to OD last night." I explained and sighed. He was we shocked as I was when I heard. "Yeah. I was shocked, too. It was unrelated to the break up. Kind of like an impulse sort of thing. But he opened up about that and he has who knows what kind of drugs still in him and he passed out. It just drained him. So he fell asleep in my cabin so I have to bring him food. Make sure he doesn't like throw it up or out. It's bad enough he tried to OD last night."

"I..." Leo started off. "Oh my gods. That sadly makes a lot of sense. That he would do something like that. I'll give him a hug later."

"Be careful." I warned him.  "His stomach is really sensitive."

"Cutting, too?"

"Everywhere."