Sicheng took his backpack from the couch, then ran out of the house to catch the bus on time. It was almost 6pm, he just finished school and his after school activity and wanted to visit Yuta suddenly.

He missed the boy, who's been his friend for a long time. He got annoyed that Yuta just left without saying goodbye, but he knew it wasn't his fault. It was Taeyong's, he thought.

He got to the bus stop just on time. He could see the bus turning on the corner and he was ready to get up and head to visit his hyung.

It almost felt like as if he was visiting him in his new house. But the sad reality was that Sicheng had to visit him at the cemetery.

Yuta was buried not far from the town centre, at an area that was pretty quiet compared to the big city. Sicheng enjoyed looking at the view from the bus window; barely any people, barely any noise. It was almost like heaven for him. The lights in the outer world were all blurry and it seemed as if Sicheng was looking at a beautiful painting.

Then he noticed that lady on the bus, sitting just a few seats away from himself, looking at him as if Sicheng had something on his face. It was probably the slightly fading bruises from when he got beaten up. But he didn't mind. It was all okay, because he was close to meeting Yuta again.

The bus then stopped and Sicheng left. He looked around the street, only to see that nobody was there. Not a single soul.

So he started walking to the right where he knew the cemetery was. He knew this place well. He's been here before when he came for the funeral.

It was all so sad and unbelievable. Yuta died. And since that day, Sicheng didn't want to visit his grave. He was too scared, because he knew he would cry and that's something he hated a lot.

He hated crying because it held too many memories. He felt weak; he felt miserable.

But he had to visit him this time. He had enough of the waiting. He knew Yuta will never answer him, but he kept messaging him, and this was the moment when he had enough. It was too much for him.

As he arrived to the cemetery, he felt the same pain in his chest as when he looked at his hyung in the coffin. His heart felt like it was squished by a huge hand. It hurt. A lot.

Step by step he walked deeper in the sea of graves, sadly looking ahead of all the people who's fate was death.

Then he saw that grave; the one that belonged to his beloved hyung, Yuta. Healing smile Yuta, who's always been a great friend and a lovely person. Maybe more than a friend for Sicheng. He fell in love with the dead and he felt like they were supposed to be together.

His long legs moved slowly, getting closer to the grave by each step he took.  Then he approached it and sat down in front of it.

"Hi Yuta-hyung." - he spoke, voice stuttering and face blushing.
He imagined the boy standing there, his cheeks turning into a smile and his eyes squeezed together. He was adorable.

"How have you been?" - Sicheng asked expecting Yuta to answer him. Even if he knew it would never happen he still talked to his hyung, asking questions and telling some stories about his last few months.

Mainly sad ones though. Since Yuta died in that car accident that involved Taeyong, Sicheng wasn't himself. He couldn't smile anymore. He just didn't  know how to live his life without Yuta's guidance.

He was just like three years ago, lonely and lost. Sicheng finally found the person that could make his life better. Yuta has been teaching him how to have fun and how to live life carelessly.

Maybe too carelessly.

"You know I thought I am independent. Do you remember that time I used to keep repeating that I'm a grown man?" - Sicheng couldn't control his tears as he remembered the times Yuta was there with him and he could tell him whatever was on his mind.

"Well I really thought I was." - he then continued - "I thought I would be grown enough to face my problems but all that time I didn't realise that you've always been with me, supporting me. I only realised that when you were gone. You left. You didn't say goodbye. And honestly I can't blame it all on Taeyong. It's been your fault and my fault. It's all of our faults. This is what the butterfly effect causes. One thing goes wrong and then millions of problems follow it."

Sicheng sat there, wiping away his cold tears. It was getting darker and he didn't realise it until he looked up to the sky discovering the dark shades of blue and grey.

"I guess it had to happen."

Then he had an idea. Maybe it was the worst idea a person could ever have, but he thought it was genius. Not really genius though, maybe just good enough.

"Yuta, I have to go." - he stood up, still looking at the grave as if his friend; lover was there.

"I swear, we are going to meet once more." - then he left, running out of the cemetery and to the centre of the town.
His backpack bounced on his back as he ran carelessly. Carelessly, like his hyung that night.

The idea of experiencing death felt like something Sicheng really needed in his life. It was an opportunity he had to take. He missed Yuta and he knew that the only way he could meet him again was by having the same fate as his. Death.

He's been running for almost ten minutes when he could finally see the bridge. The bridge where many people took their lives for specific reasons Sicheng wouldn't know himself. But he could relate. He felt the pain. He felt the urge to die.

He was close; closer than he thought. Not to the bridge, but death itself. Because as he stepped on the road, something hit him with a huge power he never experienced before. It only hurt for a second, but then everything went blank and a minute later he saw Yuta smiling at him and holding out his arm into his direction.

"I swear, we are going to meet once more. Just once and then I'll never let go of you."

END