•There is mention of this☝️ video in this update, watch it, it will help you to relate•

Probably this update shall be the second last chapter you are going to Read.

Not proofread. Enjoy.

Avni

I wish I wouldn't have met him,
my heart would have been remained unscathed, never this broken.

"Babe Are you alright?" Diya cajoled resting her chin softly on my shoulder, as she held me from behind. Her actions made my tea and my mind startled. The liquid inside the mug I was holding swirled by the movement she caused to my arms by her hold around me. I came out of my daze. It's been 72hours, that approximately three days Neil hasn't uttered a word to me since I said those words at his place and left. How could I appear to him that rude? He don't deserve it. He said he Loves me, yes he loves me. Even I love him so much. Then how could I be so merciless?

Was that it?

"Does Neil know?" Diya second time pulled me out of my daze and a heavy sigh blew out my chest in response to her words.

"He don't need to" I said in a tone curtly deadpan brought Diya pulled away her chin off my shoulder, frowned at me.

"Avi don't you think things are getting too far?" She remarked.

"He has nothing to do with this" I replied with a same arctic tone taking a sip from my tea, avoided her blabering over my already messed up love life.

"Nonna called me, Adi also.." I continued. It's my birthday goddamn and as every year I'm not in mood celebrating it.

Doesn't matter how much your Mamma wanted you to celebrate your day! My inner voice snapped distaste and I blinked my tears away my eyes regretfully.

Mamma left a diary for me. There she wrote every single phase of mine, Since the day she had got to know I'm growing inside her. From that tiny embryo till I had opened my eyes, my first smile looking at her. How could I celebrate that date, the day I have lost someone I could have loved the most in this universe. She could be my first love, my angel.

I'm her worst child, I had never listened to her. I couldn't.

There is a page in her diary she had written all about, how she would have celebrated my birthday if she was with me. And requested me to do the same. For me Nonna did it every year just like Mamma has explained. The cake cutting ceremony at 12am, the birthday celebration with friends, the thanks giving gift to all of them for being there on my day. My day! It's never been my day nor the happy one, instead it is the cursed one.
I used to cry, sob the entire day locking myself inside my Mamma's room and fought with God cursing all of them not to let me see my Mamma for once, hug her, kiss her, play with her.

But the most strangest part is, Mamma knew me so well at that grevious state of her, even when I haven't come out her womb_ that her Avni would never want to commemorate this date in life, so she wrote a letter to her daughter to let her know how special she is, she is the creator of her own fate; her own beautiful journey of life, God has chosen her especially to inspire many, one day her bachha will be the most beautiful by her soul, inspirational among the lot_ were my Mamma's one of those few words for me. But her bachha disappointed her, she couldn't give her this little happiness she had wished from her Avni. "She couldn't celebrate this date because it would never be the day atleast to memorize for her ever"

"And as always you didn't received Uncle's...." Her disappointed tone was. Leaving her sentence incomplete Diya blew out a hefty sigh over my back. I took a look over her discontented face, flashed a forced pensive smile and next moment silently walked past her towards the kitchen in excuse to deposit my empty mug in the sink.

I did. I have talked to my Dad. He called me to wish me happy birthday. His voice was falling talking to me. I know he is crying, even I'm the same. But none would let anyone know how much we miss eachother. That's how we deal with things when it comes to sharing some emotions between me and Dad.

His heart condition is not well.
I think I should give him a chance, forgiving him. After all he is my dad. The only parent I have.

You should also talk to Neil, give him a chance to clarify you, what he did? Why he did?
Instantaneously my inner voice blurted out cutting me off. My heart squeezed flashing his hurtful face in my head. My love, I miss you so much.

I want to be my Mamma, Soft and forgiving like her; not someone like my Dad superfluous unreadable.

An hour later.

Her eyes adhesive on the television screen while her mind was bereft capsized thinking of someone special dear to her soul.
In her heart there was a feeling of compunction but her mind implacable not let go that day evanescent her head.
And therefore there is no way curtain her heartache.

Are you angry with me?

Not at all?

Then why are you not speaking to me?

I'm speaking to you.

From three days I haven't seen your face or heard your voice.

I was very busy.

I have been calling you everyday.
Why haven't been you answering?

The phone has been out of order for days.

What is the problem. Simran Raichand. My head scowled clutching the cushion over my lap.

Tell me. I want to know the cause of your restlessness.

There's no problem.

There is a problem.
Serious problem.

The fact is that We love each other very much.

Today I have come here to tell you I love you. I wiped my damped cheeks....

....that I love you very much.

And I know that...You also love me

Then say it once. Yes I love him. I love him so damn much.My heart poignant and my welled up eyes blankly at screen.

Tell me when I go away you don't turn and look at me. Yes I do. I look at him everytime when he look everywhere but not at me. I want his gaze over me. Only me.

No I don't...

Tell me when I touch you, nothing happens to you, you feel nothing. I want to feel his touch, his kisses again. I want him back.

I feel nothing.

Tell me that you don't want to come into my arms right now. Yes I want to hug him tight, cry my heart out, my head in his broad chest until it is dawn.

I don't.

look into my eyes just once...

.....and tell me you don't love me

I don't. I so love him. Avni Mehta is madly in love with Neil Khanna. No one can ever love him as much as Avni loves Neil. Nor any of his exs' could imagine the depth of it....

He don't even look at me since we had that conversation. I have asks DD about his wound. He said it's recovering.

Neil has never been this cold since I met him. Since that day he is talking too scanty, unless he has something important to ask for.

I have no guts to talk to him or to anybody when I be around him. People talk about his behaviour behind him I know. All because of that bitch Simran. She is the cause of all these. Why did she kiss him?

And knowing everything you bitch still testing him. My subconscious clenched her jaws, grew a deep scowl. And I quirmed inwardly.

"Avni how many times you will watch this movie?" Diya scoffed emerging out of her room. I heard her steps behind.

"Avni!" Diya cooed my name again. Stood behind the couch I was sitting in the hall watching the television.

Dil To Pagal Hai. The last movie Mamma and Dad had watched together. Madhuri Dikshit Mam was Mamma's favourite, so she is mine too. I have watched this movie by now near about twenty times, but everytime differently I falls in love with some scenes according to my situation. Just like today with this particular scene I fell love with instantly, like I can feel it's every emotion, it's seems I want Neil to come to me as Rahul did in this scene for Pooja. He couldn't let her go. Neil can't just let all these pass, he can't let me go....

"He never did. It was you." My subliminal self berated tightening her jaws.

Tears fell down my cheeks and I immediately wiped it off the spot. I sniffed quietly, threw my gaze at my left, outside the balcony. It's drizzle outside. This year it's a first day, monsoon has arrived. Any other day I would have enjoying my honey ginger tea watching rain but today it is different story; symbolic to my state...my saturated heart.

Rehaan has called this morning, wished me, as every year as he does. He has invited himself and his wife Tina for dinner at my place. We are having a little home party. After office they are joining us tonight. Beverage to dinner Diya arranged everything. I just worked according to her order.

And here I'm mourning over my pensive state taking the day off from my work whereas technically it's Neil's last day shoot. Today he will finish shooting his final scenes, only some dubbing part would remain for later.
I have dropped the idea to farewell him, be a part of his last day in set, reasoning my Boss that I'm sick. Thank lord Raj sir didn't pull any effort to make be present. May be he has realised that it is the same day I didn't take the day off, instead I try hard to keep myself more busy away from those unneeded attentions.

Someone Pity me. I'm a looser.
Why all the bad things have to happen on this date only?

My ph ring tone brought me out of my zoned out self and I next moment I am receiving a call.

"Log in to your IG account. I have sent you some pictures of this evening" was DD's blithesome voice over the call and I did as I was asked to.

Damn why did I?

********

Rehaan Tina has arrived at our place around nine after their office hour and we had some good amount of wine down our intestine.

Music.....
Rehaan started funny dance moves as the song starts on. Avni, Diya Tina cracking up seeing him his crazy moves.

Guitar tune... He slauntered to Tina, unceremoniously pulled her out of the couch she was reclining in. And our eyes widened looking at Rehaan's crooked gaze over his wife.

Chand mera Dil.....
Chandni ho tum...
Chand se hai dur....
Chandni Kahaan...
Laut k ana hai yahi tumko...
Jaa raheho tum...jao meri jaan.... Tina glanced at us in surprise, perplexed she then brought back her eyes to her husband.

Waise to harr kadam milenge log sanam...
Milega sachha pyaar mushkil se
hooo....
Dil ki dosti Khel nahi koi...
Dilse dil hai milta yaar mushkil se...
Yahi to hai sanam pyaar ka thikana...
Main hu...Main hu...Main hu... Rehaan swirled Tina romantically.

Aa dil kya mehfil hai tere kadmo mein
Aa dil kya mehfil hai tere kadmo mein....
Duniya ki bahare tere liye....
Chand sitare tere liye.... And the lyrics started, yanking me along Diya jumped off her seat, dancing she joined them.

Jaane ada...jaane ada...
Jaane wafa....tujhpe main fida... Diya awfully threw her arms towards me and sang the lyrics.....I couldn't stop grinning with them being participated in their madness.

This is what Rehaan and Diya has in them. The power to dissolve any kind of mood in something crazy, elated with their love for me.

And now I'm missing him more...what if he was here and having blast with us!

Neil

Ho tum kya jaano mahhabat kya hai...
Dil ki mehfil nahi ye mehfil nahi dil hai... Raj sir sang, no actually it is called yelling the lyrics sitting beside me, doing all weird faces raising his drink glass on air... Who would say few hours back he was in a mood emotional giving speech on my last day at shoot. And now he is in mood seems like celebrating my step into another world, the Web World.

Suno kehna hamara...
Amiri hai sitaara
Garibi ek ansu...
Ye ansu hai muhabbat..
Muhabbat zindagi hai...
Bass itna jaan le tu....
Ho Tum kya jaano muhabbat kya hai?
Dil ki mehfil nahi... ye mehfil nahi dil hai... Raj sir voicing aloud this 80's song DJ has mixed along with the crazy crowd. And my mood is getting more bitter by the lyrics. Aren't they are too much related to my current state?

It was decided yesterday, that tonight we will be at the club after the wrap up...and as decided we are here at the midnight...in the most crowded club in Mumbai, the place Raj Sir's favourite...

Raj Sir has gone crazy and the whole crew as well...he was in his seventh drink before he jogged dancing on the floor grabbing me along...and mine was third...I hardly drink but it seems today I need it...she didn't come...she didn't attend my last day...Really?? has she grown this typical? Is Her ego this gargantuan?

Fine let her be with it...I'm done with her....really done....

I threw the fourth shot down my throat, thumped the glass on the bar counter and followed Sir, though there wasn't any other option not to accede on his demand. I took a quick look over the spot around the kiosk, no one was there familiar near me, beside Raj Sir. All of them are in dance floor.
Great I want a break...I need to forget her for tonight...let's get in there...

We walked through the drunk, dancing huddle to join our people somewhere at the side they were tiring their feet...

Avni

Mil gaya....humko saathi
Mil gaya.....humse agar koi jal gaya....
Ho ho jalne de...ho ho jalne de...
Chal gaya pyaar ka jadu chal gaya humse koi jal gaya...ho ho jalne de

Tere liye zamana tere liye...
Aur tu mere liye...Diya moved her body, sang with all her dramatic expressions, as if dedicating me the lines....and I stiffled a laugh looking at all of them this weirdly funny, joined them in their zest, gaiety...

I'm actually feeling better, diverted from my pain, sorrow at the moment than few hours before Avni was. My chest rolled out a heavy sigh I threw my arms around Diya. And Tina did the same, hugged Rehaan from behind. And we sang aloud, laughed, did some more crazy moves following Rehaan.

Mamma we are enjoying...a voice in my head said and my eyes beamed holding tears in them...

********

An hour later. We deposited our fatigue body on bed in Diya's room, wallowing on the wide cozy mattress.

"You did what? You didn't spare him atleast a chance to explain? Like seriously Avi?" Rehaan about to snap at me harshly but controlled not to sound too curt when Tina kept her palm over him and motioned with her eyes to appear placid to his bestie.

"You are supposed to be her friend Rehaan" Diya snapped.

"He shouldn't have kissed that girl" encroaching into Diya growled, disregardly remarked back. Absent-mindedly her fingers dug in my hair, brushing gently. My head in her lap. It was12:30 when we were finished with our dinner.

Rehaan just now has heard about the actual commotion happened between me and Neil...by my monotonous tone he has got a hint something is up with my love life calling me last week, but as any other mature person he didn't push me further discussing such delicate topic over calls. May be he had dropped it for this today's face to face colloquies !

"Shut up Diya... don't let her do the same mistake you have done years back..." Rehaan spat the words referring to Diya, caused snapped her arctic glares at him. I tentatively sat up from my lying position.

"Rehaan behave... sorry Diya he didn't mean it...." Tina sent a death glare at Rehaan then next moment averted her gaze softened it apologizing Diya on her husband's behalf. Rehaan is unfazed.

"What behave..." Rehaan gritted his teeth, darted his repugnant gaze over Tina then Diya. He inhaled a harsh breath.

"She had done grave embellishing her future when she could have lived her present splendidly..." Rehaan lucid remark, his tone crucified and I threw a pitiful gaze at Diya. I gulped, started growing apprehensive, worried for where this conversation would end. I need to ask Rehaan how did he know about Diya and have the audacity to talk about it this recklessly. How could he appear such zero empathetic, callous remarking on someone's heartbreak.

"Yes I did because it's better cry later than be broken for sometime at present....people do move on...." Diya's grating reply was, she muttered the last sentence clenching her teeth.

"You did?" Rehaan scathing eye raising at Diya made me feel jittery being concerned for my dear bestie. Diya bolted a glare at Rehaan as if gaze can throttle someone.

"Now please you both stop fighting....I have fucked up, let me handle it...." I pleaded. Fiddling with my fingers nervously my eyes from the downcasted position to straight at them.

"Avni....ask me then...you girls would never understand boys...they would never share you their aggrieved past... their stories with their exes...." Rehaan paused, pulled his back away the headrest he was leaning against, his facade straight at me before he redeemed.

"It's not because they lie always....there also some boys who scared....scared to loose someone very dear to them...they avoid sharing their bitter past, the main reason behind is not the same with everyone like those kinda cheating paraphernalia... their reason could be loosing the person they love the most...
There are certain things we have no control over. One of them is love. There is no point dismantling your present to secure your future. Neil loves you Avni...I have seen that crazy wala love for you in his eyes since the day one I saw him.
Boys hardly could express their emotions but when they do, it always had been believed as they have got the true love of their life....
Don't listen to me or Diya or anyone... listen to your heart. Just do as it says. No one knows what we have in hour next, future is far from foreseen...no one can tell... We have only present...we are sitting here...altogether....this is the truth...we only have this...." His speech trembled my entire self. His soft gaze, little pressure of his hand over mine assuring me brought my chest swelled up, eyes watery. I licked my lips, my heart rambunctious, I took a quick discreet glance at all of them.

Rehaan's hopeful gaze at me while there is frown with a shimmer objection in Diya's gape. My throat dried up, core crescendo growing comprehensive. What should I do now?

And subsequently the next moment I'm off the bed with a valiant jolt.
Diya's astonished, apprehensive gaze at me, Tina and Rehaan curved their lips, both flashed the same complacent smirk watching me. Being palpitated I skittered inside my room to grab my purse.

No one can stop me going to him...Rehaan is right. I won't be able to think my present without Neil. Let's live this moment. I love him he loves me, there shouldn't be any other queries.

"Let us drop you Babe. It is drenching outside" I have heard Diya yelped behind watching me exiting the house.

And my heart whammy, elated exactly the same during our initial days I used to feel while talking to my crush Neil Khanna.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loads of good wishes to everyone who has been there for *Tu Appe Hi Samajh Jaa Season 2* Avniel throughout their entire journey until now...Thank you so very much my lovely people.

MoN love you all❤️