Prompt: Wednesday and Enid are required to take care of a doll for their "Raising Healthy Children" class (which Enid forced Wednesday to enrol in).

"This is the stupidest thing I have ever been forced to do for something as boring as a school course," Wednesday grumbled as they walked back from their class, a baby carrier with the plastic battery run doll inside, its head flopped to the side.

"Well, I think it's gonna be fun! I mean we get to take care of a KID. I lovee kids." Enid grinned as she gently rocked the carrier with flicks of her wrist. "I mean I take care of my little brothers all summer."

With a sigh, Wednesday didn't even bother arguing, simply letting her hand be clamped by Enid's free one.

The walk to their room took a little longer than usual, as Enid found that trying to walk upstairs without banging the bottom of the carrier on each step (not that it mattered) was a lot harder than it seemed, and she proclaimed she didn't wish to 'wake the baby' which Wednesday argued was 'absolutely fucking stupid'.

By the time they reached the room, Enid was delighted at the aspect of getting to put the doll to bed later, and her counterpart was rather pissy and just wished to go play her cello outside.

"What do we do with him while we do homework?"

"You gendered it?" Wednesday groaned, practically tweaking.

"Of course I gendered him! We can't call him it, that's dehumanizing!"

"It's a doll."

"HE is a very advanced doll, who we are supposed to treat as a human, right?" Enid looked down at the doll and cooed. "Here, come to Mama."

"I'm killing myself."

"Wednesday! Not in front of the baby! That causes trauma."

"How is that what you care about," Wednesday stated bluntly, blinking slightly.

Gently placing the baby down on her bed, Enid turned to her girlfriend and walked over, taking her hands.

"You know what I mean. Please do not kill yourself you dummy, but you know there are cameras in his head that can see us right now, we need to be responsible if we want a good grade, and I need one to get into the teaching program. Can we please just act like he's real for a few weeks?"

Though the prospect was stupid, Wednesday cared about grades, and seeing Enid be interested in them for once was rather nice. She nodded.

"What should I address myself as to i- him."

Enid grinned, leaning forward and gently kissing Wednesday's cheek.

"Well since I'm Mama, maybe you could be Mommy or Mum? I mean you could always be Dad too, but like-"

"Mum's good."

"Okay, go say hi to him."

Grinding her teeth, Wednesday walked over to the bed and looked down at his little plastic face. "Wait. What's his name?"

"How didn't I think of that!" Enid exclaimed, her eyes going wide. "I'm horrible with names!"

"What about Nero, after my late scorpion."

Enid seemed to think that over for a second, then slowly nodded. "It's always weird for me to name people after dead animals, but I mean, it's cute and means a lot to you, so sure!"

"Okay." Wednesday leaned down again, studying him. "Hello, Nero. I am your Mother or Mum."

Awkwardly she stood up straight and took a step back. "This humiliation will haunt me until the day death blesses me."

With a giggle, Enid simply placed her hand over the lower of Wednesday's back. "It's just me, I won't tell anyone or make you do that in public, I promise."

▼・ᴥ・▼

The air had been rather chill and calming all night, causing Wednesday to pull her blankets up to her chest, a rare occasion. It was nice, and she was having a rather death-like sleep until a loud mechanical cry interrupted it.

"Enid! Deal with the baby," she called out into the darkness, glancing over at her clock to find three am flashing back at her.

No response informed her the girl was likely sleeping too deep even to notice the sound until later, and she just about joined the screaming in frustration. Of course, she would be doing all the night care, she always awoke first. What had she been expecting?

All she could think of was how much she hated her existence as she pushed off her sheets and walked over to the small crib all the kids had been given with the doll. It was at that moment she remembered that her attention during the explanation of how to take care of the dolls had been just about non-existent, and she had no clue how to shut the damn thing up.   

"Shhh, stop...um...sobbing," she whispered tapping his head softly. He did not in fact, stop. 

Maybe if she took out his batteries? But that would be illogical, perhaps she had to treat him even more as a real child. Shoving her self-image down the gutter, Wednesday picked Nero up, cradling him in her arms and rocking back and forth as she had seen her mother do to Pubert. Alas, no result.

"Stupid doll, why can't you just shut the fu-"

"Ughhh, Wednesday just turn off his sob switch, please, some of us value our beauty sleep."

Sob switch. Of course, it was that easy. Why did she even bother? "Where is the switch?"

A very disgruntled Enid pulled herself out of bed, wandering over and pulling up Nero's shirt, where a control panel was. "Sob." She pointed to a switch, then flicked it off herself and his sobs faded out. 

"Oh."

"Please lay him down gently and go to bed."

With that she was gone, back under her sheets in seconds and snoring away in a matter of minutes, all the whilst Wednesday was left to swaddle him in the dim light of the moon. 

The rest of the night it was continued hell. It seemed he was programmed to start crying every two hours at night, the exact time it took Wednesday to fall asleep again, and Enid didn't re-awaken once. By seven, when every student was required to wake up, she was just about ready to throw herself out the window and take Enid with her. 

"You know, it's not off-brand for you to be rude, but you seem kinda cranky today," Enid huffed, Nero cradled against her chest as they walked towards the Quad, though Wednesday didn't understand why she didn't just put him in the carrier she was still being forced to hold.

"Maybe not being awoken by a technology-formed demon every time I let sleep grasp me would have helped."

"Do not call our child a demon!"

"You're right. He's worse."

Enid sighed, her grip around Nero tightening. "Wednesday, please just stop. I don't want people thinking we are dysfunctional parents!"

"I don't think they will, considering he is a-"

"If you say doll one more time I'm taking your advice and disembowling you with my bare hands."

"Hot."

"Damn Addams, getting kinky in that dorm?" Yoko joked, having overheard some of their conversation as they walked up to the table. 

"With Nero sleeping next to us I'd sure hope not," Enid exclaimed. 

Gasping, Divina grabbed her girlfriend's shoulders and shook her. "We need to name her! You guys were so smart to do that, why didn't we think of it!"

"Agh you are right! I've taken this class seven times and never done that! Should we go for a floral name orrrr..."

Attempting to ignore the girls around her rambling on about baby names, Wednesday picked up her corn cake and started to slowly pick at it. It looked like she wasn't the only one currently fed up, many students around her looked as if they had been rather tortured as well. 

It was going to be a long day.