Tony knocked.

The door opened immediately, to reveal a very angry May. She caught sight of Tony, giving him a strong, concerned glare. She didn't say anything, just walked back through the hallway, leaving the door open for Tony to come in.

Tony stepped over the threshold of their small apartment, feeling completely unworthy of being within a kilometre of May Parker, let alone in her apartment. He followed her into the lounge.

She was sitting on the couch, arms folded across her chest and legs crossed. Her face was livid.

"So, is this about how I haven't seen Peter for nearly a week?" She asked, her voice strangely calm.

But Tony's heart was splitting at the seams and his throat was so tight he could barely get a word out. Even his stab wound was beginning to burn, even after all the drugs he'd taken to ease the pain. Both emotional and physical. Prescription, of course, by Bruce Banner, so it can't have been too dangerous to have a few more millilitres than was suggested.

So, instead, Tony walked to May. He didn't sit on the couch – he didn't deserve to sit on the couch. But he did bob down in front of her, arms resting on his knees. He had to watch his hands tangle and untangle for a good minute before he found the will to look at May.

He opened his mouth as he looked up, knowing the grief was in his eyes, but-

He didn't have to say anything.

May was already nodding hysterically, looking as if she was using all of her strength not to sob. And despite her efforts, her eyes wobbled with fresh tears, threatening to fall. And she just sat there nodding her head, pursing her lips, and wiping a shaky hand under her eyes. One of those hand slowly moved to cover her mouth, pressing against it tightly to stop the sob heaving in her shoulders from escaping. Tony could only watch, his heart shattering into a million pieces.

"May," Tony whispered, his voice shaky and weak. He begged for her to say something, as he reached out a hand to comfort her. But he realised he didn't know how to comfort her. Hug her? Say that he's sorry? Hold her hand? No. Nothing he could ever do would be enough.

She closed her eyes, a tear dripping down her cheek. She wiped it away with the hand over her mouth. Then she sighed, covering her whole face with both hands and slouching where she sat. Tony's hand retreated as he fought back his own tears.

"May, Peter loved you." Tony murmured, hiccupping slightly as he gulped down a sob.

And those words cracked her. Her shoulder's shook and her stomach heaved with heavy breaths. Tony could hear her muffled weeping from behind her hands and her gasps filled the room. Tony knew she couldn't hold back anymore. Tony knew that she couldn't coop it all up forever. Tony knew she couldn't not cry. Tony knew, because he remembered.

He remembered leaning over Peter's body, hearing him plead for Tony to help him. He remembered the pain that fifteen-year-old kid went through in his last moments. He remembered himself having to tell Peter that he couldn't help. He remembered the kid accepting his death. And he remembered the kid dissolving before his eyes. His whole world – the reason he woke up in the morning, the person he loved more than anyone, the person he would die for – disappeared right in front of him.

And he remembered screaming his name, over and over and over again. Screaming for his kid to come back, to not leave him, to stay with him, please-

He remembered the indescribable agony of loss, like nothing he'd ever experienced.

And if Tony could've swapped places, he would've, without even thinking. He'd lived his life. Peter hadn't. Peter had so much ahead of him, but of course he was the unlucky 50% of the universe who died. Of course the world was cruel enough to kill Peter-freaking-Parker and not Tony Stark. Of course the world was cruel enough to leave one without the other. Why was it him? What had Peter ever done to anyone, to deserve this? He didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve this-

"Please, May—" Tony whispered, now crying along with her. He held out his arms, wrapping both hands around her own and pulling them from her face. He held them in his own, pulling her gently to her feet as he did the same.

Then she was hugging him, and he was hugging back, head buried into her shoulder. He let his tears flow freely now, free of judgement. She gripped his back, rubbing her hand over his shoulder blades comfortingly-

Wait, Tony should be the one comforting her. She was more important than he was to Peter. She needed the love more than he did. Yet she was comforting him?

He nearly pushed away, but May seemed to sense it, and her grip got tighter.

"He loved you too, you know that, right?" She whispered into his ear and Tony sobbed even louder, his knees feeling weak. He had never cried so much in his life – he had always been the one to hide what he felt – but there was no hiding here. He had never felt so much grief and pain and loss and agony and sorrow and guilt and hopelessness. But, then again, he'd never lost Peter Parker before.

This time, May broke away. She reached up a tender hand, cupping Tony's cheek. He wrapped his own hand around May's wrist softly, rubbing circles on the back of her hand. He smiled gratefully, tears still threatening to continue falling.

The whole Peter had left in his absence was never more evident than right now.

"You were his dad, Tony."

-

super short, but this is P.2 of previous one-shot (two-shot) basically where May finds out about Peter's death in Infinity War. But she already suspects it. 

this is pretty bad, but meh :|

thanks, dahlings ;) love yous all

LuvForStydia xx