Chapter 36.

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Asim.

I open my eyes when I feel the other side of bed dip and soon soft snoring come in my ears. I sigh heavily and turn around. I look at a Zoya peaceful face and smile shakingly. Ever since I came back from there, I wouldn't be able to control myself. Every time I tried not to let any tear escape I get failed. I stood up from bed and walk toward the small balcony of our room.

I sigh heavily when the cool air hit me. I close my eyes and let go of myself. Everything in me. All I want is to get free from all the pain and hurt that I am getting. I want to be free from everything. I want to live like before I meet Zoya or Shehroz. I want to go back in my old life, but sadly I couldn't. It is not that I don't want to continue with all this. I really do, but right now I want to go back. Suddenly whatever I saw few hours ago come in my closed eyes.

I quickly open my eyes and shake my head to get that out of my mind. I don't know why, but I really want to know what happened between them when I leave from there. Did they talk and sort of things? Is she leaving me and go back to him? What will I do without her and our kids. I will be broken without them. No, I won't let her take Mustafa and Hadiya away from me. If she wants to go then she can but I wouldn't let her take them away from me. I am scared if she takes them back legally because they aren't my kids by blood and court want prove. Court didn't believe in emotions. Zoya and Shehroz are the real parents of them and they will take them away and leave me alone.

"Asim!" Suddenly a voice shouted, making me jump. My heart was beating faster than usual. I turned around and saw Zoya standing a few steps away from me with a worried and scared look.

"What happened?" I asked her softly when I saw her shaking lightly. She looks at me then where I was standing. I frowned and follow her gaze before my eyes widened. I was standing at the edge of the balcony and railing were too short that it didn't reach my knees. I quickly take a step back and take a deep breath. I turned around and look at Zoya in confused when I saw her now shaking badly while her face was pale and her lips were turning blue.

"Come on." I grabbed her hand and walk back inside with her after locking the balcony. I know she is feared of heights that is why I hold her when I take her to mountains. I don't know how she managed herself all the way up there by herself today.

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I sit on the couch beside her and handed her the cup of hot coffee. She grabbed the cup from me before taking a small sip. I sigh mentally and pick up the magazine that was lying on the small table and started to read it. It is barely midnight and I know that we both couldn't get into sleep now. After I pulled her back in the room. I make her sit on the couch and went to make coffee for her. I am not freezing, so I don't want it. Her shaking get stopped when she get warm from the fire in living room.

"Why you came in the balcony when you know you are afraid of heights?" I asked her looking at the picture on the magazine. It was the first time I talk to her after what I saw on the mountain.

"I saw you there and you were crying so I thought I should ask if you were okay or not." She mumbled around the cup making me sigh heavily. I should have kept control on myself.

"I wasn't crying. You saw wrong." I lied her smoothly looking at her, but she caught me by raising her eyes and give me a suspicious look. I swallow lightly and didn't break the eye contact.

"I have seen you crying and don't even try to lie me. Tell me what happened?" She says sternly. I look away and continue to flip the pages.

"Don't you trust me?" She suddenly asked me. I look at her and saw hurt in her eyes. I hate to see her like this.

"I do trust you." I told her confidently with a small smile, but it faded after what she says.

"Then tell me what happened? I know something is wrong because you were all quiet and you aren't talking to me like you used to. You were only answering what I am asking. Tell me if something is wrong. We will do something about it." She says putting her cup down at the table. When I didn't reply, she snatch the magazine from my hand and slammed it on the table but I stay unaffected.

"You don't have to know what happened to me. You have other people to worry about in your life." I mumble and stood up from the couch to go back into the room.

"What you mean by other people?" She asked me, following me in the room. I get frustrated because this time I am not going to get into her sweet and innocent talk.

"Shehroz."

Zoya.

As his name left from his mouth everything get silent. He turned around to look at me, but I was looking at him with a shocked look. He laugh bitterly and takes a step toward me.

"Did you really think I wouldn't know about him being here? Did you really think that you could meet him and I didn't know about it? I saw you meeting with him and how h-happy y-you were looking t-that you w-were c-crying." His voice broken in the end and my heart clench to see his eyes filled with tears.

"Asim listen to me please." I started, but cut it off when he roughly pushed me to walk behind me. I look at him shocked. I am scared whenever he show me this side. He had never shown it to me after that day. I don't know if he is angry or hurt, but I want him to listen to me.

"You listen to me, Zoya Malik. I am not your play toy whom you can use anytime anywhere. I am a human being and I also have feelings. I am not emotionless like him. It hurt me a lot to see you with him. I thought after whatever I say on the mountain you cared about my feelings but I was wrong. I showed you that place because I want to be there with you one day not because you could go there with your lover. I was telling you last time, Stop. Hurting. Me, " He hissed and tighten his grip on my arms with the each word he says. I look at him in disbelief. He really thinks I met Shehroz because I want to. I hissed in pain when Asim tighten his grip more on me.

"L-leave me at-Asim. You-You are h-hurting me." I stuttered and tried to push him back but he didn't move. My eyes filled with fears when I looked up at him. He stared at me for a few minutes and back away, keeping some distance between us. He turned around and I could feel his body shaking. Is he crying?

"I-I never want to h-hurt you Zoya b-but I c-can't help m-myself. I-I am sorry Zoya, but we can't stay together anymore. I-I don't w-want to get h-hurt a-and don't w-want to hurt y-you." He stuttered and my eyes widened in shocked when I heard a sob breaking from him. I pushed away from the wall and slowly walk around to stand in front of him.

"Asim, please don't cry." My heart broke to see him crying. He shake his head and wipe his face.

"I want to cry. I want to cry for everything. I want to cry for loving you. I want to cry for marrying you. I want to cry to get so much attach to you. I don't know there will be a time when I had let you go. I didn't marry you to get away from you." He looked up at me with broken eyes. I look at him confused.

"What are you talking about Asim?" I asked him because whatever he said didn't make sense to me. He sigh heavily and walked up to my carry-on bag.

"You bring this here to finish everything and start a new life?" He asked me. I nodded because that is what I tell him a few days ago. I have already made my mind that when I tell him about my feelings I will tear this paper in front of him to make him believe that I am not going to do anything like that again.

"Yeah, but why are you asking about it?" I asked him confused. He give me a small smile and walk toward me, but I could easily see the pain in his watery eyes.

"You know it was so hard for me, but I do it for you so you could be happy with Shehroz. I am giving you freedom Zoya. I signed our divorce papers. You can sign it and give it to Rauhan so he could submit it in court. I don't want anything from you, but permission. I want Hadiya and Mustafa to live with me. You can come and see them whenever you want, but please don't take them away from me. They are my live now. I can't live with them." He says and tear fell from his eyes making me more shocked. I look at the papers and saw his sign on the right.

"No, please tell me you are joking." I look up at him with pleading eyes but they held pain nothing eyes. I want him to laugh and say he is joking.

"This is not joke Zoya. This is what you want from me. I did it. Now you will sign it and submit it. I wouldn't heir any lawyer against you and didn't want anything from you beside the babies. I know you will understand my reason. I am sorry for hurting you. I am leaving from here tomorrow with Mom, Dad and babies. You can go with Shehroz now. I know he will be waiting-" He was cut it off when my hand raised on its own and his face snapped to the left.

"Shut up. Just shut up. Don't you dare to say a word now. I had enough with you and your stupid talk. I had enough with everything happening here. Now I am going to do what I want and you can't stop me."

Now I am going to do what I want.

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Update! I hope you all like it and please let me know what you think about this chapter. Only 4-5 chapters are left now and then this story will be finished. 

For Shehroz and Aminah, I decide that I am going to write a story on them for everyone who want to know more about them. I will post the description soon after I finish this story. 

Next update will be of Silent Love and Maybe The Second Chance. 

Thank you for your support. :)

-Maddy.!