They say time heals all wounds. Time is the best medicine to heal a fractured heart, a soul in mourning.
Tears of pain and misery have been shed so much; an audible cry.
Tears of the same pain and misery are still been shed if not more; a silent cry.
Pain and misery still cling on to one but this time just a drop of tear is shed or just the numbing pain in one's heart; No tears.

Time did its part in making one's dark memories hazy, a tear-less nulling effect in that broken bitter heart. A genuine smile that reaches one's eyes.

Even the first spring bloom a moment so traditional warms and excites one's heart. This was something one never thought one would experience because one's life was spent or is spending in finding a way to come out of the Darkness.

A crisp I am healed rolls out from one's tongue. And one is happy in that shaky Believe.

But alas! When One meets thousands plunged in the same darkness as one is then one's resolve comes undone.

Memories triggered. Wounds open up. Eyes are misty again.

And feeling as vile as these pierce through one's soul, chanting it out to one.
Anger.
Guilt.
Dirty.
Shame.
Damaged.
Exhausted.
I thought I was healed, I thought I was moving forward. Why? Why?Why can't I be at PEACE?

Why is Peace expensive?

Then one day one reread the meaning of Forgive.

Forgive: stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offense, flaw or mistake.

But one thought why should one forgive the one that plunged one into darkness causing so much Pain. What is one gaining from it, why should one Do It?

To Find absolute Peace.
                To truly Let Go.
To genuinely Heal from the core.
        To stop letting the Tormentors be part of your life anymore by holding Hatred against them.

Because in doing so one is never Free from them.
One is still giving them free reign to hurt one. Handing them the knife to stab one again and again.
One's unforgiving heart is Bitter. Dark just like them.

Or a humorous phrase one heard; Letting them stay rent-free in one's heart and mind. Why would you?

Then one reasoned it is not as easy as it seems.

Yes, it is not. Of course, it is Not.
But remember the tormentors are moving on as if they didn't leave destruction and pain behind. Dusting off as if it was nothing.

So, Dear Self, do you want to let the remorseless Darkness stay with you and slowly eat you up from the inside?

Do you not Matter?

Forgive them not because it was okay they wronged you but You need the Peace, you need to Heal.

Forgive and let them go from your soul. Burn together with the fire of ones strong wellpower and just as Phoenix rise from the ashes Alone with soul tattooed with the scars of the battle you fought but Renewed.

And above all Dear Self do Forgive oneself too. Stop the blame, stop the what ifs, stop the I could have.
You were just Powerless that time to fight the Powerful.
It is not your fault, you are innocent that fell into the trap of Evil.

You are too precious to spend in loathing, self-destruction just because you thought you could have, should have, at least...........

Forgive= Peace= Freedom.

Just raw emotions coming straight from a tortured heart which is on its path to Healing.
Ayanz88