Blaine POV

Sebastien...

Just saying the name makes me wanna puke up the 7 drinks I might or might not have had.

I need like 100 drinks just to tolerate him.

And I only tolerate him to protect Kurt. he knows something about Kurt that no one can ever find out...

So his so called 'deal' really black mail Has got me on a hook.

I went to the one place where I could numb the pain.

Scandals.

the gay bar in town.

I was at the bar drunk as fuck when a certain fuck boy came up to me. "Hey baby getting ready for me?"

Sebastian.

"Of course cant be sober for when we do it. I don't want to remember your snake skin." I said.

"Aren't we in a good mood." he sneered.

"What do you want?" I slurred.

"You know our deal princess." he said.

"Blackmail." I said bitch glaring him.

"You make it sound bad." he smirked.

I took the last swig of my beer. "lets get this over with." I said standing up.

"I already paid lets go." he said grabbing my wrist. he pushed me in the car and we drove to his place. his parents weren't home obviously it was one of there late date nights out.

"You know Kurt tried to kill himself. I've always thought of it but never actually did. I went to see him he's good I guess." I confessed.

"Pity. he dead would be a lot better." Sebastien said.

"Same here." I mumbled. we finally got there and walked in up to his room. he closed the door and locked it.

"You know the drill we've been at this before." he said.

And I did it.

It felt like a million regrets..

I was doing something that I only should be doing with Kurt.

I felt like a hooker. just doing it so I keep what's dear to me. in this case a secret. I do the deed with no emotion at all. then wish I could just kill myself.

A part of me wonders if the secret Is actually true. but the proof he had was too convincing not too.

But what I really wonder is if Kurt knows this. I mean he must. if it true...

I'll ask him. one day.

When I get some courage myself...

I woke up in Sebastian's bed obviously.

My head was pounding and thoughts of reality came back. Sebastian woke up next to me.

"Get dressed I'll drive you home. Want something to drink?" He asked standing up getting dressed. I did the same.

"Got my usual?"

"If you mean a shot of cherry Vodka and coffee and gin then yes."

"I'll take that." I said.

He went out of the room and got the drinks. I did the shot and drank my coffee rather quickly.

"lets go." I said.

He dropped me off and sped away.

Jerk.

I went inside and collapsed on the couch.

I wish I could get rid of Sebastien. I just wish everything could go back to normal. I wish Kurt was his normal self and we were still together. Sebastien was out of the picture. I wasn't an alcoholic. everything was fine.

Now I guess God was like lets Fuck it all up.

I couldn't get Kurt off my mind. I mean it's hard to not think about him since he never left my mind but the thought of him actually dying. it killed me.

Then it hit me. he won't love me ever again. I'll never be apart of his life. he won't want me now either. look at me. I'm slowly breaking. maybe it all would be better if I was gone. i'd never have to worry about anything. It seemed too easy.

I went upstairs in the bathroom. I fiddled around till I found it.

A razor.

I've never cut myself before and alcohol doesn't cure all the pain I have.

I pressed it to my skin and dragged it across. the Crimson blood filled up.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

And it keeps going. seeing the sight of blood and having the sting relieve me in a way. I stopped after 5 because my wrist was covered in blood.

I got a paper towel and cleaned it up. I wrapped the cuts up and went downstairs. I grabbed a beer and spent the day watching tv.

I felt my phone buzz and saw the lit up picture of Kurt.

"Hello." i said

"Hey Blaine um can I maybe talk to you?" He asked.

"Why? Something wrong?" I asked.

"Umm no just I'd like to talk.." he said.

"Ok... I'll be right over." I said.

I wasn't drunk but a little tipsy. but I managed to drive to the hospital. I went to Kurt's room and knocked.

He was sitting up playing with his fingers and looked up when he heard me knock.

"Hey." he said emotionless.

"Hey." I said the same way.

"I just needed someone right now I guess." he said bitting his lip piercing.

"What about Finn and stuff?" I asked.

"Someone new." he said.

I just nodded. "So why me?" I asked again.

"I don't know I just did." he said.

"Alright. talk to me then." I said sitting in the chair.

"You talk to me." he said looking at me.

"Do you ever think about... How it would be easy to let it all go and end it all." I asked.

He nodded and looked down "️Sorry bad subject just got a lot on my mind." I said.

"It's ok I get it. this is stupid but can you sing?" He asked.

"Yeah of course." I said. he laid down his hand resting by his face and the rest under the covers. I held the hand exposed and brushed the hair out of his face.

"You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream the way you turn me on I can't lets run away and don't every look back don't ever look back my heart stops when you look at me just one touch now baby I believe this is real so that a chance and don't ever look back don't ever look back." I sang softly to him as he closed his eyes and slept. when I knew he was fully asleep. I was wondering. Why did he need me?

Did he need to tell me something. I'm not sure at all anymore.

All I know is the deal I made with Sebastien has turned into the Devils deal.

A/N
Heyyy. Sorry for a sort chapt. I've been stressed out with my family life and school so I'm sorry for bad slow and sort updates. but I'm getting a new phone soon so I'm excited for when I need to write CHAPTS on my phone. so yeah!
Stay Strange
~Mia 🌊