Blaine POV

I feel hopeless

Like every Ray of Sunshine has been crushed. the world used to seem happy and joyful.

Now it's like everything is grey... dull.

I lost the one thing that's kept me going. what's the point of it all now.

The bell ending my history class rang as I woke up from my thoughts.

Kurt wasn't in class. he was properly smoking or drinking. blaming me for all the pain. I guess I deserve it. I was the one who got raped.

All I had was glee then I could go home and cry myself to sleep again.

I sat in the back during glee. I didn't want to talk. I didn't even want to sing.

It was a normal glee club meeting. until Finn got up.

"Mr. Shue can I say something?" Finn asked.

"Sure Finn go ahead." Mr. Shue said letting Finn step up.

"Alright. we all know glee is a place where we can all tell each other's secrets. We don't judge each other. so Rachel.." Finn said.

Rachel got up and Finn sat at the his drums.

"Blaine your not alone. were here for you." Finn said. he nodded for Everyone to begin.

I froze. oh god...
It would be easy to get it off my chest.
But it would also be easy to keep it a secret.

Rachel began singing.

~=*=~
There was a time I was on of a kind

Lost in the world out of me myself and I

Was lonely then like an alien

I tried but I never figured it out

Why I always felt strange in a crowd

Ooh that was then like an alien

But the stars in the sky look like home

Take me home

And the light in your eyes let me know

I'm not alone

Not alone, not alone, not alone
Not alone, not alone, not alone
(I'm not alone)
Not alone, not alone, not alone
Not alone, not alone, not alone

Crossed through the universe to get where you are

travel the night riding on a shooting star

Was lonely than like an alien

Had to get used to the world I was on

While yet still unsure of where I belong

Ooh that was then like an alien

But the stars in the sky look like home

Take me home

And the light in your eyes

Let's me know

I'm not alone

Not alone, not alone, not alone
Not alone, not alone, not alone
(I'm never alone)
Not alone, not alone, not alone
Not alone, not alone, not alone,
Not alone, not alone, not alone
Not alone, not alone, not alone
~=*=~

The song ended and people clapped.

I was in tears.

"Your never alone Blaine. we love you so much." Rachel said.

I decided I couldn't keep this from them any longer. the song over did it.

Mr. Shue clapped for them. "nice guys."

"Mr. Shue can I.." I ask

"It's all yours Blaine." he said while Rachel and Finn sat down and I got up in the middle of the room.

I put my hands in my pockets and my head was down trying not to let people see my tears.

"I can't find the right word I really wanna say.. and Mr.Shue says to sing what we can't say. this song explains only half of my feelings. I say as I tell Brad to play.

~=*=~
Yes I do

i believe

That one day I will be

where I was

right there

Right next to you

When me and Kurt would snuggle up watching Moulin Rouge taking about how we would sing come what may.

And it's hard

The days just seem so dark

The moon the stars there nothing without you

My world is grey without Kurt

Your touch your skin where do I begin

His angle like porcelain skin I miss to death. to touch. to crave. to kiss.

No words can explain the way I'm missing you

Tonight

This emptiness

this hole I am inside

These tears they tell there own story

How have my tears not made some kind of sign to him?

Told me not to cry when you are gone

But the feelings over whelming

It's much too strong

Can I lay by your side

Next to you

You

And make sure your all right

I'll take care of

You

I don't want to be here if I can't be with you

Tonight

Tell me and I'll go.. I'll be done forever..

I'm reaching out to you

Can you hear my calls

He ignores them all...

This hurt that I've through

I'm missing you

Missing you

like crazy

You don't know how much I miss you

You told me not to cry when you are gone

But the feeling over whelming

It's much too strong

Can I lay by your side

Next to you

You

And make sure your all right

I'll take care of

You

I don't want to be here if I can't be with you

Tonight

I just wanna cuddle and kiss him. hold him like we use to too. I want to feel his warms skin ageist mine.

Lay me down tonight

Lay me by your side

Lay me down Tonight

Lay me by your side

Can I lay by your side

Next to you

You
~=*=~

I was in tears.

Everyone could tell that was for Kurt.

"All i want to do is hold Kurt like we use to. we watched Moulin Rouge. Kurt would mouth every word. we'd sing come what may. we'd plan how we would sing it professionally. I would be holding him. he's look beautiful as always. with his perfect hair and skin. being warm to the touch. we kiss and laugh and smile. he'd always fall asleep towards the end. we would either stay sleeping on the couch or I would carry him to his room and we'd sleep there." I said voice cracking and tears were falling down my face at the memory.

"I screwed it up..." I said breaking down.

"What happened?" Finn asked.

He knew just as well as me that I needed to get this off my chest.

"I was raped..." I said quietly. the room was silent. everyone was stunned.

"You didn't cheat on Kurt?" Rachel said Confused.

I nodded years pouring down my face.

"How did it happen?" Santana asked.

"Guys I don't think Blaine wants to talk about this." Mr. Shue said.

"No. I've been keeping this a secret long enough. it's time I get it out." I said.

"I was at Scandals with a few of my Warbler friends. I was the driver for the night so I was sober. Most of them pretty drunk dancing. This guy a senior maybe came up to me. he started flirting with me while I tried to push him away. he left me alone. I though I was safe. but I wasn't. I went to the bathroom. he came into the bathroom. he looked us both in a stale and raped me. after that he stole my phone that's how me properly called Kurt. I ran out with my cloths falling off. I ran home. I didn't want to leave my friends and we took Nicks car. so I just ran. no one was home when I got back. I just went to my room and cried. I've never been more terrified. I keep having nightmares about it too. I don't even know the asshole." I said sobs shaking out of me.

Everyone was quite I looked to the ground.

"I know you guys say I'm not alone but I am. and sometimes I think I'm better off dead. because I may have you guys.. but you guys aren't Kurt. I'm still alone and nothing can fill the gap." I said more tears pouring out.

"What if one thing can?" Said a familiar countertenor. I turned around to see Kurt. he wore and emotionless expression but I could still see the care in his eyes. I wanted to hug him but I couldn't move.

"How much did you hear?" I asked sniffling.

"It started when Rachel sang Alien." he said at the doorway. "I couldn't take it anymore so I had to say something."

I looked at the ground again. he dropped his bag at the doorway and came closer to me. I saw his shoes as I looked to him. He pulled me into a hug. I hugged back tighter sobs coming out.

We parted realizing there were still people.

"Can I say something?" Kurt asked. I nodded looking up to him.

"I know you've been feeling kind of our of place here and you feel better talking about the warblers but you just talked about them so much it annoyed me. plus I was stressed a lot .. Also I agreed to this whole makeover to get over the thing that stung the most... I didn't get accepted into NYDA." Kurt confessed.

"I'm so sorry." I said.

"Me too." Kurt said.

The bell rang and everyone in glee still stayed seated waiting for our next move.

"What does this mean for us?" I asked him.

"I'm broken Blaine. there are a thousand pieces scattered around. I've started going crazy." he said.

"We can pick up each other's pieces." I said grabbing his hand.

We started into each other's eyes.

We both leaned forward to close the gap and kissed. it was a lot like our first one. only we were standing Kurt wasn't a skank and his breath didn't smell like alcohol and cigarettes.but I couldn't care less. this was me and him together at last.

The glee club cheered at our actions and we pulled away remembering there were people. the club parted and left me and Kurt in the room alone.

"I've always loved you." I say.

"I love you even more." Kurt said back as we pressed our lips again.

But this was a short lived happy moment.....

A/N
DUH duh duhhhhhhh
KLAINE got back together but wait there's more..... That will be updated soon! This book gets really like exciting it hard to control and process. The songs I used was Brittany Spears Alien and Sam Smith Lay Me Down
Stay Strange
~Mia 🌊