It was the first Sunday of the summer break.  Alice had finished grading all of her student's exams and turned in her final grades the day before. Somehow, she had gotten through the last few weeks. It was as if she was on automatic pilot, but she had survived.

Grace and Cassie had given her space, but they were asking her to help them plan some fundraising event for the restoration of an old New York theater, and she knew they were just trying to keep her busy. She had insisted that she had no event planning experience, but they had assured her that they would teach her all she needed to know, and swore to her that they really needed her help.

She was on the verge of caving, especially when she thought of the next three months stretching ahead of her empty. She had thought about teaching a few summer classes, but had decided that she was in no frame of mind to teach anyone anything.

Gabe had disappeared, perhaps it was because he had sensed her disinterest with everything. She wasn't eating, she wasn't sleeping, and she was close to becoming a recluse.

Her phone rang and she looked over at it, seriously considering ignoring it, but she couldn't, someone might need something.

"Hello-,"

"Alice." It was Cassie and she sounded like she was crying. "Turn on the news."

Alice felt her heart stop. She raced to find the remote control, and with shaking, hands hit the power button, turning it to one of the twenty four hour news stations.

Then her legs came out from under her as she sank to the floor listening.

"A hostage situation involving an American news crew, among them well known Rainer Stevens," the announcer was saying with an ominous tone.

"Alice...Alice... You need to come here to Grace's.  Bryce and Caleb are on their way to the Middle East now, but ..."

"I'll be there soon," she said, hanging up the phone and grabbing her keys and phone. 

Grace would need her.

When she arrived at Grace's; Lizzy, Brian, Mason, Cassie, Laura, Davis, and Grace were all glued to the T.V.

She sat next to Grace, and they wrapped their arms around each other.

"Mom, Dad, Dana, and Quinn are on their way, but they won't be here until tonight," Grace said just for something to say.

Alice just sat and listened to the news, trying to learn as much as she could.

Rainer and his crew had been invited to witness the signing of a peace treaty between two warring factions in the Middle East, but the negations had gone south, and everyone in the hotel had been taken hostage by the host country. All of the big players were there, and there was some talk about it all being planned.

"Why Caleb?" Alice asked sometime later.

"He has spent a lot of time in the region and knows the local dialects and politics," Grace answered.

That floored Alice.  Caleb, it seemed, had hidden depths that she had never known about.

"Caleb is a very talented engineer," Grace said getting up and moving to the kitchen. "I think I'll make something to eat."

"I'll help," Alice said following her to the kitchen.

They silently started to put together a chili that could be kept warm all day.

"Rainer-," Grace started, but Alice cut her off before she could begin, sensing that she wanted to comment on what, had or had not, happened between them.

"Rainer and I are not your problem Grace," Alice said, not wanting to discuss it any further.

"He is alright you know," Alice said after a few minutes of silence. "I don't know how I know, but I know."

Grace nodded. "I know how you know."

"So tell me about this fundraiser you want me to help with?" Alice said in attempt to take their minds off of what was going on in the other room.  Eventually, Cassie and Lizzy joined them and started helping them with ideas for the event.  That kept them occupied until the rest of the family arrived, and hugs and updates were exchanged.

Alice took charge of Fiona, thankful for something to do.

Late the evening, there was a phone call from Bryce and Caleb. They said that the first leg of their journey was over, but that they would not be in direct contact for a while, so Grace took the phone into her room so she could have a private word with Bryce.

Alice sat in the corner and watched the other couples in the room hold tight as they watched Grace struggling to remain calm.

Alice felt like she was intruding on a family moment, so she quietly took Fiona into the kitchen.

Her worry for Rainer was such that she refused to think of it or she would be physically ill. She kept up the mantra of 'he is fine' over and over in her head, hoping that if she thought it hard enough she would will it to be. Every once in awhile she would have to remind herself to breath.

"Where is Alice?" Grace asked when she walked back into the living room, having immediately noticed her absence.

There were a few shrugs and concerned glances.

"You all had better put your heads on straight.  That is your future sister-in-law that you're ignoring."

"What on earth-" Davis asked.

"Your stupid brother messed things up royally by breaking that girl's heart, but she's still here, supporting us, and how are we supporting her?"

They all looked at each other, dazed.

"But they're just friends," Lizzy insisted.

"Forget it," Grace said, moving to the kitchen to find Alice holding the baby and stirring the chili, tears streaming down her face. Grace didn't even think she realized that she was crying.

"You're crying," she said softly, taking Fiona and putting her arm around Alice in comfort.

"Am I?" Alice reached up and felt her wet cheeks wiping them clean. "Is there any news?"

"What? Other than this family is full of morons, no."

"Don't say that. Your family is wonderful." Alice put the lid back on the chili and started to gather up her things. "I'm going to go home.  I'm just in the way here. Will you call me if there are any changes or if Bryce calls?"

Grace considered trying to change her mind, but something in Alice's face told her not to try.

"You see, I'm used to comforting myself and not being comforted by others," Alice said, thinking of all of the times she had had to do that very thing growing up.

"You'll call me if you need me?" Grace questioned.

Alice nodded, and gave Grace a hug before leaving through the service entrance of the kitchen.

Grace walked back into the living room. There had obviously been a serious discussion going on, but it stopped as soon as she entered.

"Where is Alice?" Cassie asked.

"She went home." Grace ignored her family and focused her attention on the T.V.

"Grace..." Davis started.

"It's not me you need to worry about or apologize to, I have all of you. Alice is very much alone thanks to your brother."

*******

Alice could no longer watch the news.  There was no new information, and they just kept hitting the same facts over and over again, and Grace had said she would call her if there was any change.

On the third day she received a text from Grace saying everything was well, and that all three Stevens men were on their way home.  She was invited to a celebratory dinner for the following evening, an invitation which she declined.

She thanked God that Rainer had been returned to his family safe, and she prayed for him to remain safe. It was a prayer that she said every night just before she drifted off to sleep. She had enjoyed being included in the Stevens family circle. They had proved to her that there were families who were loyal and full of love towards one another, but she had truly come to believe that she was not meant to be a part of that.

Her family had taught her, long ago, that she was on her own, and that she needed to be independent and self-contained to survive. It was a lesson that she had forgotten when she had fallen hard, not only for Rainer, but for his whole family, so she readjusted to her old way of life over the next few months.  She had decided that the best thing to do was cease all contact.

There was a saying in the academia world of publish or perish, so she had decided to write a paper focusing on modern authors and how their themes differed from authors of the 19th century. It was a subject that she was fascinated by, and she started living at the library again.  She found she could focus better there, and when classes began again in the fall she was ready for the distraction of teaching.

The Anthropology Department were all back in their own building, which meant that Alice had no reason to see Grace again.

She avoided watching the news or reading the paper, but there was only one thing she allowed herself, and that was the purchase of the new Steven Douglas book.

She burst into tears when she read the quote on the opening page.

To Al – "Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within." -  James A. Baldwin

That simple quote acknowledged it all, and it gave her a small measure of peacefulness. He at least did remember and it had meant something.