OVER THE MOON,

The talk after was always awkward.

But they've had thousands of conversations before — centuries' worth of words that neither of them can quite seem to forget. A conversation between them was nothing, just another fragment of their everyday life.

But neither knew what to say.

Heeseung stared at the wall across from him, his expression blank as he tried to process what had just happened. Juwon sat on the other side of the couch, she, too, staring at the wall and wondering what demon had possessed her to make her do that. The silence between them was almost unbearable and both had plenty they wanted to say, but the words were caught in their throat.

Minutes passed, minutes that felt like hours, and both chose to remain silent. Juwon debated whether she should pack her bags an run away (she'd always been dramatic like that) but as well as not being able to speak, the girl couldn't move.

Maybe it was the fear that had finally started to settle in.

"Why did you do that?" Heeseung asked, deciding he'd finally had enough of the silence. His voice was quiet, as if he were forcing himself to speak without wanting to. He wouldn't look at her, though.

"I don't know," she said, her voice as equally quiet as his. "I just— I don't know."

God, Juwon had never felt so embarrassed in her life.

"Oh," he said. "Okay."

Juwon wanted the couch to swallow her whole. She wanted to hide and never come out until the world exploded, along with her and everything else. She wanted to disappear — anything to hide the embarrassment currently eating her alive. She opened her mouth, attempting to explain her actions before closing it again, realizing she didn't have an explanation for what she'd done. So instead of trying to come up with an excuse (because she'd always been a bad liar), she apologized.

"I'm sorry," Juwon mumbled. "I shouldn't have done that."

Heeseung refused to speak. There were millions of thoughts running through his head, billions of words he wanted to say, but he just couldn't. Whatever he said would determine whether their friendship crumbles or remains the same. Whatever he did would also determine whether he still got to call her "friend."

Frankly, he didn't want either.

The girl sighed, hiding her face in her hands. "You're so stupid," she whispered to herself.

"Did you mean it?"

Juwon's head shot up, turning to look in Heeseung's direction. He wasn't looking at her and was playing with his fingers. "What?" she asked, wondering if he'd actually spoken or if she just missed hearing his voice. (It hadn't even been an hour, too.)

"When you kissed me," he mumbled, his face turning a soft shade of red. "Did you mean it?"

Oh.

She stared at him, speechless. Heeseung sat there, waiting for a response. Neither spoke. Juwon cleared her throat and looked away. "I mean," she started, "I don't regret it, if that's what you mean."

Heeseung was over the moon. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from squealing (like those teenagers screaming over celebrities on their phone screen). He nodded, "Cool."

"Did you mean it?" she asked. "When you kissed back?"

"Yeah."

Oh.

His response was too quick, leaving Juwon in shock. Heeseung mentally face-palmed, scolding himself for answering too quickly. "Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean that— well, I did but what I said, I didn't mean to say it so quickly but I was going to say it I just didn't know when to say it but it's the truth— fuck." Juwon snorted, making Heeseung turn his head and look at her. "Why are you laughing?" he asked. "This is weird for me."

"Why would it be weird?" she asked.

Heeseung gestured towards the space between them. "This isn't weird for you?" he asked. "What just happened, that wasn't weird for you?"

She shook her head. "Not really."

Heeseung stared at her. He'd never stared at her this long and she stared back, secretly wondering if she'd said something wrong and if this was the end. This couldn't be the end, not when she hadn't managed to say a word she wanted to say. But before she could speak, he opened his mouth.

"I like you," Heeseung said. "A lot." His tone was serious, different from the usual playfulness in his voice. "I don't know when or how or why it started, I just do. And I'm not good with words and I'm probably making a fool of myself right now, but I like you so much and you just— you make it seem as if everything will be okay. And I want it to be okay, because why wouldn't it be when you're right here? I just... I like you so much, Juwon, and I can't even remember how long I've been waiting to say it, but I do. I really do. And you don't have to like me because I'm not a likeable person and you can hate me for calling you ugly that day but I didn't mean it. You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen and I should've said that back then because that's what I meant to say. I'm running out of words but—" Heeseung paused and stared. "Wait, why are you crying?"

Juwon froze, her brows furrowed in confusion. She touched her cheek with her hand — she was indeed crying and she hadn't even been aware of it. "Oh," she mumbled. "I don't know." Without warning, Heeseung moved closer to her, both his hands moving to cup her face. With his thumb, he wiped the drying tears from her face, smiling when they were only replaced with new ones.

"Crybaby," he said.

"Shut up." Juwon sniffled, moving his hands away and wiping her own tears. "Did you mean that, too?" she asked him, sighing and covering her eyes with her hand.

"Of course I did," he said. "I wouldn't have poured my heart out to you if I didn't."

Juwon smiled, chuckling. "I didn't know you were a romantic," she said, uncovering her eyes and meeting his. Heeseung stared at her, his eyes filled with so much love. She found it hard to believe he was really there, that he was real.

"I'm not," he said. "I was about to cry." He laughed at himself, embarrassed. "Come on, Juwon. Don't leave me hanging."

The silence was definitely the most stressful part about waiting. They sat there, the girl thinking of the right words to respond, wondering if what she said will ever be enough to properly portray her feelings, and the boy waited patiently beside her, anticipating her next words. He was scared — there was no doubt about it - but he'd be okay. Living without an answer was much more painful anyway.

"I thought it was weird at first," Juwon started, "when I started getting all these weird feeling and thoughts and stomach bugs — those damn stomach bugs. I thought it was weird because they'd never been there before and I had never experienced those kinds of things before. But I realized it wasn't weird and it hadn't been as sudden as I thought. They were always there — I just never bothered to acknowledge them." She sighed, "You know, I'm not good with words either," she said, laughing. "But I think I've made it a little too obvious that I like you, too."

Juwon had always admired the way Heeseung's eyes twinkled when he focused on something he loved. He had that same look in his eyes as he stared at her. She knew her words were barely being processed in his head by the way his eyes slowly widened, the light in them only growing brighter.

"Really?" he asked, shocked that she reciprocated his feelings. (It really wasn't that much of a surprise at this point.) "Do you mean it? Like for real? Actually?"

"That's a lot of questions," she said with a chuckle. "Yes, I actually mean it."

So maybe Heeseung wasn't dreaming. This — this moment he was currently living, this moment he'd always dreamed of — was his reality. Heeseung stared down at his hands, then looked up to meet her eyes once more.

"Can I kiss you again?"

• • •

seung the rat 🐀

sunghoon rn <3

juju tf away from me 👽
YOU DID NOT 😭😭