DOG,

Juwon would like to believe she's never experienced love. She'd like to think that everything she was feeling was being felt for the first time. She'd like to think that these thoughts that kept her up late at night had never been there before and had only just appeared moments ago. She'd like to believe a lot of things.

Today, Juwon was alone. As much as he'd loved to be with her and "annoy" her, Heeseung's absences in class were finally starting to effect him. So, being the "great and productive college student" he was, he went — even though he was very unprepared and knew nothing the professor mentioned. And Juwon was proud. He was finally being a normal person and living the life he claimed to not have.

She should've been proud.

Juwon may have been alone, but that didn't change the fact that she was still busy. Sure, she was always busy when Heeseung was around anyway, but this was different. On those days, he would always distract her and her schedule for the day would be pushed back or she'd simply lose motivation and give Heeseung the attention he so desperately craved. Today, there were no distractions. Juwon could get her work done in peace (finally) without having to worry about him asking another meaningless question or taking her wallet. But Juwon had gotten so used to those "distractions" that now, even without them, she couldn't work.

"Ugh," she groaned, pushing her laptop away and letting her head fall on the table with a loud bang. Juwon winced but didn't bother to lift her head. "I don't like this."

She didn't like how lonely the apartment was without Riki (he'd chosen to spend the day with Jay) and Heeseung. She didn't like how the smell of burnt eggs and coffee was not the first thing she smelled that morning or how everything was in its place, untouched. She didn't like the quiet, the deafening silence that was slowly eating at her as she stared at the laptop's screen doing absolutely nothing.

Juwon didn't like not having Heeseung around.

Maybe she'd just gotten too used to him. Obviously they weren't going to spend the rest of their lives attached by the hip. They had things to do, places to be, lives to live — even if it was nothing but boring at times.

"I should get a dog," Juwon mumbled, her head still on the table. She refused to move, deciding she would push her schedule back either way (since Heeseung wasn't here to do it for her). "Dogs are nice. They give you company when you're lonely." Juwon paused, staring at through the glass dining table and at her (unmatched) sock-covered feet. "I'm lonely."

She didn't want to admit it because doing so was like admiting she needed Heeseung to be there every second of every day for the rest of her life, but she was. Juwon was lonely. She was so lonely to the point where she was already considering becoming a cat lady. (How she went from getting a dog to becoming a cat lady, no one knows.)

"I don't like this," she repeated, closing her eyes. "I don't like this at all."

With her head still resting on the dining table, Juwon watched time pass, refusing to get at least one page of work done. One o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock. The girl spent over four hours sitting at the table, slowly dozing off as she had gotten tired of waiting for someone to finally come home.

Juwon was never good at being alone since she'd met Heeseung. Even if she wanted to be left alone, he would always be with her — text her, maybe even call her if he was in a good mood — and she would be there with him. It was always like that, unchanging even as they graduated highschool and went off to college. She knew that she'd have to get used to be alone again, but it was so much harder than she'd imagined.

I miss him, she thought, sighing as she finally caved in to sleep.

Heeseung did come home later that day (around an hour after she had fallen asleep). He, too, was tired of sitting through classes and talking to people he had no interest in getting to know. Entering the password to her apartment, he sighed tiredly, leaving his shoes by the entrance and dropping his things on the floor. "I did it," he said, breathing heavily. "I sat through a day of college." After a moment of resting on the floor, he got up, excited to tell Juwon about his day. "Juwon!" he called, running towards her bedroom (and completely ignoring her sleeping self in the kitchen). "You'll never believe who I ran int—"

When he didn't find the girl in her room like she'd usually be, he panicked. Heeseung peeked his head further into her room just to make sure he hadn't accidentally missed her but still, she wasn't there. He gasped quietly, instantly thinking of all the horrible things that could have happened to her while he (and Riki) was gone. He turned around and walked back, checking the living room (he's either dumb or blind, at this point), then the kitchen. And there she was, sleeping peacefully with a small bruise on her forehead from when she'd let her head fall on the table.

Heeseung stared at her, wondering how long she'd been there for her to fall asleep there. Juwon always had trouble sleeping in places that weren't her bedroom but there she was, eyes closed as she dreamed away (if she had dreams, that is). He sighed, relieved that nothing bad had happened to her. He took a seat beside her, gently tugging on her sleeve lightly. "Juwon," he called. "Wake up."

"Go away," she mumbled, not bothering to open her eyes to see who was disrupting her slumber. "I'm sleeping."

"You're not supposed to sleep in the kitchen, Juwon," he said.

"Dog."

It took a moment for Heeseung to process what she had just said. He looked at her, completely baffled by her response. "Dog?" he repeated. He knew that she was half-asleep and not in the right mind, but it was so random not even he knew how to respond. "What kind of dreams do you have?"

"Hngh," she groaned, finding his presence annoying without even knowing it was him. Heeseung watched at her as she tried to go back to sleep, holding back his laughter. While he did so, Juwon opened her eyes. "Be quiet," she said, rubbing her eyes. "You're too lo—" She paused, staring at Heeseung. Juwon rubbed her eyes again, making sure she wasn't hallucinating. Then, she started crying.

Heeseung panicked again, unaware that he was the reason for her tears. "Why are you crying?" he asked, looking around the kitchen awkwardly. "You're scaring me, Juwon."

"I've been waiting for you all day!" she said, sniffling. "I was so lonely! I-I—" She wiped her eyes with her sleeve, only for the tears to be replaced with knew ones. Then, out of pure frustration, she started sobbing.

"You were waiting for me?" he asked, confused. "Why would you do that?" He reached over, putting his hand on her forehead to check for a fever. "Juwon, are you sick?"

"Shut up!" she yelled at him. "I'm being serious with you for once and you can't take me seriously!" Juwon's head hung low, covering her face with her hands, embarrassed he had to see her that way. "Go away."

"But you're gonna be lonely again," he said. Heeseung found this entertaining and she knew that, which was what frustrated her the most. "You don't want to be lonely, do you?"

"I want to punch you," she mumbled. "I'm going to punch you. Get out of my face." Instead of listening to her (he never did listen to her, did he?), he laughed at her and got up, holding his arms out. Juwon saw this and immediately got up after him, hugging the boy despite her words. "Just so you know, I don't like you," she said.

"That's okay," Heeseung said, lightly patting her head. "At least you're not lonely anymore."

• • •

seung the rat 🐀

this you ?? 🤨

juju tf away from me 👽
IS THAT THE CHECK OUT GUY