ᴢ ɪ ᴠ ᴀ ʜ    ʀ ᴀ ɪ

Nervousness. It's what I was feeling right now. The sudden request of Dad got me thinking a lot. Marriage with Mr. Raichand because he thinks it'll better his health?

This only felt absurd to me.

And my life is not a joke for me. I might feel alone at times, but the few moments with Amara, Dad and Mimi are enough. It's not like everyone has a large amount family relatives and a huge number of friends.

Maybe this is how my life has to go on. With these few, but the most important and best people I could get for myself.

Arjun Raichand.

As soon as I hear this name, the only thought that crosses my mind is to stay away from him as much as possible. And on the contrary, Dad wants us to get married.

This man is known for his cold demeanor, anger, short temper, which I've experienced very well. In fact, I've seen him being the silent kid in the childhood when Amara and I used to play with kitchen or doctor set everytime.

Most probably he's the only child who didn't play once in his childhood or a child who didn't like to speak much. I never knew the reason of this behaviour of his. I never knew why the topic of their family wasn't taken up even once or why they call my Dad, Baba.

Dad and Mr. Raichand have these secret talks every month. Neither Amara nor I am allowed to witness those. But it's very obvious how it's related to their past or whatever secrets Mr. Raichand has.

I clearly remember how he had snapped at me in the childhood when I was just being a good human. I didn't know telling his 9 year old self to get his dressing done because he'd scraped his elbow would only get a round of yelling in return. He bloody shouted on me when Dad had ordered us to go to the colony's park together to play. And my 5 year old self had realized not to speak with such a rude kid again. What I didn't know was my fate was in the hands of him because he became the achieving businessman for which I had to train under him. And all because of Dad.

Even now, this stupid request is from Dad.

When he had shifted from our house with Amara to another one, my 15 year old self was shedding tears of happiness. In the first place, I didn't know why him and Amara were staying at our house because we clearly didn't have any blood relation. My childhood was very different. I had to share my Dad with two unknown kids, but now I feel happy that I got a sister like Amara. I didn't have many friends or should I say none because I always used to be with Amara, us having a three year age gap.

Everytime a girl or boy used to come forward to us for a hand in friendship, a glare from Mr. Raichand would make them run away the very next moment. I knew he was protective towards Amara, but this was the height of protectiveness. But because of this, I couldn't leave Amara. Seeing her premature self, my heart had itself given everything of it to her. Even Mr. Raichand and I used to fight a lot in childhood to decide who is going to hold Amara first. He didn't even feel any care for my 4 year old self.

And then Dad being Dad used to make him and I sit on either side of his lap, with Amara in his arms. And that's when the long rounds of us watching baby Amara used to start with me smacking him in between while he would glare at me.

He was the serious kid no one liked to befriend. If being honest, even I didn't. But I was forced to adjust with him and eventually I did. I never complain about any of this because for me, it's very obvious how Mr. Raichand has a past. A past which only Dad knows because I clearly know that Mr. Raichand doesn't have any close friend or anything. Relatives? Who only Amara visits.

I used to be jealous sometimes when Mr. Raichand and Amara would be having brother sister time when she was little and I didn't have anyone else to go at that point of time. Seeing Amara sitting on his lap, with them playing, I used to feel happiness seeing the big smile on her face. But the very next moment used to be my realization about how much alone I am.

I tried to not ponder on these thoughts. And I even succeeded. Trying to only see the positive things in my life instead of the negative ones, I blocked such thoughts.

The sound of tapping of feet made me snap my head towards the same direction.

As soon as my eyes landed on the face of intruder, my breath hitched.

It was none other than Arjun Raichand.

Now why is he here?

With his head bend down, looking on the hard concrete, hands placed inside the pockets of his pants, he was busy taking calculative steps. His pace was a lot slower and hesitant than the usual times.

And all of a sudden he stopped. And then he quickly turned back, now walking in the opposite direction of me.

Only a minute later, I heard his footsteps again making me grit my teeth.

What is he exactly trying to do?

Tired by his actions and movements, I turned my head, now back to concentrate on the many colorful flowers that were blooming in the garden.

They looked absolutely enchanting. I could clearly pin point the different colors in the dull night.

"Ahem...Ahem..."

A sudden cough broke me out of my dreamland and as soon as I turned back to look for the intruder and it felt as if my breath had stuck in my throat.

Standing no less than a feet apart from me was none other than Mr. Arjun Raichand.

"H-Hey....." He stuttered making my jaw to be dropped.

It's the first time I've seen him stuttering and our close proximity wasn't really usual and casual to me.

"Hey?" Was my awkward reply, balancing myself on my right foot.

"So- I- I wanted to t-talk to y-you. Will-" And I didn't let him continue.

"Talk? Why?" I asked, with a weird look at his sudden demand.

He cleared his throat twice before replying.

"Y-You know about Baba's request." He replied nodding his head a little.

And that's when I took a step back from him.

"We don't need to talk about that. Don't worry, I'll straightaway deny Dad about this-" And this time he didn't let me complete.

"You don't need to." Came his voice.

"Huh?" I asked dumbfounded.

"I mean I've already agreed. There's no need to deny." And as soon as these words came out of his mouth, my eyes went wide, mouth dropped open in shock and it felt as if the floor beneath me had slipped.

"Ag-reed? W-Why the fudge?" I gasped, my hand covering my chest on it's own.

"Fudge?" He repeated my fake curse.

"Dude, that's not important. Why you agreed to this absurd request is important." I deadpanned, looking at him weirdly.

"Dude?" He repeated again.

"For God's sake, stop pointing out these stupid things I am saying!" I don't know why, but a yell came out of my mouth on it's own.

And all of a sudden his posture changed, eyes turning darker and body turned stiff.

"Do. Not. Yell. At. Me." He gritted out every word, gripping on my forearm making me gulp in fear.

He looked so intimidating and even I was able to feel the power and wrath he possessed.

"Understood?" He questioned in a gruff voice, looking at me expectantly and I involuntarily nodded my head like an obedient child. It didn't take any effort or thinking from my side.

"And the reason you want to know why I agreed to this demand, you know it very well." He stated, folding his arms across his broad and sculpted chest.

"No. I would prefer hearing it from your mouth." I said in a firm voice, mirroring his posture which I know was only making me look like a dwarf in front of him.

"You know I cannot disobey Baba. It's the first time he has asked me to do something and I won't hesitate doing whatever it is." He said with the same expression as before.

"You cannot, but I can. I'll deny him about this." I reasoned, putting up my point.

"What is the problem with you in marrying me?" He questioned all of a sudden making my heartbeat increase.

What should I even respond to him when I myself don't know the reason about why I don't want this to happen? There's nothing as such major reason which'll be enough for me to deny and here he is busy asking the same.

"There are many." I said, trying to look confident.

"Like what?" This man plays hard.

"I cannot say them openly." I replied.

"Then let's get inside so that it'll make everything easier." He butted in making me grit my teeth.

"What I mean is I cannot tell those." I explained, nodding my head a little.

"If you can't tell, then we'll be getting married because what I know is there's no such issue." He said or more like declared in a tone that only meant business.  Because that's only how I have seen him working in the office and the meetings.

"Excuse me? You know you cannot force this upon me right? Say whatever you want, but I won't be getting married to you." I gritted out, frustrated with what all was happening right now.

"I bloody can." He gritted out back as if I had said something wrong previously.

"What-"

He didn't let me complete.

"If you don't agree to this proposal now or even later, then it doesn't matter to me. Because this marriage will anyhow happen even if I'll have to drag you to the mandap. Forcefully or not, doesn't matter to me." He growled, bending down on the level of my ears, making my heart go in a frenzy. And it was nowhere near love or excitement. It was only fearful and scary.

His threats are never empty. Once he says he wants to or is going to do something, that'll take place no matter how. And this only made me more nervous and worried.

"Why are you doing this Mr. Raichand? What'll you get by doing this?" I questioned and this time my tone was full of tiredness and defeat.

I knew I couldn't win against him in such matter that too when it's related to Dad. Or something that he has already agreed to do.

"What I will get doesn't matter to you." He said in a gruff voice.

"But-"

And he again didn't let me speak.

"Now you'll go inside and tell Baba that you've agreed to this. Don't even try to act over smart by finding a way out of this because you have no idea what all I'll do after this. Just go obediently with everything and it'll be the best for you." He said in a stern voice as if he was talking with a child.

I might be small in size, but not in age or any other factor which he seriously needs to get through his thick head.

"Mr. R-Raichand please, there's n-no-" And I stopped myself right there as soon as I noticed his expression.

Fist clenched, eyes turning red second by second only made me think to stop reasoning with him at this point. His anger and temper was something not to be messed with.

"I'll make you regret this decision Raichand!" Yelling this, I ran back inside the entrance of the house, not before giving him a deadly glare which he didn't notice as he was busy gazing down the hard concrete with the utmost concentration.

******

Laying down on the bed of one of the many rooms in Dad's farmhouse, my mind was busy wandering at various thoughts. Major of those were about what happened an hour ago.

Arjun Raichand has now only made me hate him more and possess some more bitter thoughts about him.

Dad means a lot to me. I would've done anything if he told me even if it meant marrying someone. He's my hero.

But the problem is there could've been a better way for Mr. Raichand and I to do this.

We could've started with a bond of friendship to see where this relation would go or maybe develop some feelings or understanding for each other over the time period.

But no, Mr. Arjun Raichand will always do everything according to how he wants them to be.

We have zero understanding.

Zero compatibility.

Zero trust.

Zero interest in each other.

And that's what I think he feels as well and yet made me agree to this.

The most important part in this is that I don't feel that comfortable around him. My heartbeat always increases at an another level in his proximity and I involuntarily stutter and feel nervous. It feels to me as if I have to be prim and proper around him. And I feel that it's not a good thing for me at this point.

A married couple has a different level of understanding and comfort. But does Mr. Raichand and I cross that? If being honest, we are nowhere near those.

At the same time, a married couple has a lot of responsibilities towards each other and to other people. There will be lot of obligations from our sides which I know we'll have to do together which only makes my mind go in a frenzy.

And the lastly and most importantly.

Intimacy.

This word only makes my heart do flips. Arjun Raichand and I intimate? That felt so foreign yet exciting.

My life has revolved around these three since childhood and it's no surprise that it'll continue to, only some relations changing overtime that felt unanticipated.

And now that life has given me a chance to explore, I won't lose it. The tiniest part of me which is looking forward and excited for this marriage will now be participating in everything how I am planning to. Because at the end, I don't know what life has planned for me, with him being a part again, but way different than the earlier times.

******

Hey everyone!

How was the chapter?

So finally Arjun has talked with Zivah about this whole 'marriage' thing. Well it seems he has more like ordered this to her meaning Amara's plan is full in action mode.