A/N: Title taken from the Fame on Fire song of the same name.

This chapter contains a forceful kiss that one did not consent to. It's not shown, but told.

Also, no one dies in this chapter. Unless you count Dean's hope for getting back with Rory as a death.

Also, also, I have no idea where this Dean arc even came from, or why or how this arc came to fruition. All I know was that Dean was supposed to wig out a little when he found out that Rory was dating a former addict, and she was supposed to scamper off. Him sticking around was not planned out. 🤷🏻‍♀️

"Okay, I think I've got all the rooms assigned for the test run," Michel said to Thea and Lorelai as they walked down the stairs together.

"What you have?" asked Thea.

Michel listed from his clipboard, "Miss Patty is in room one, Babette is in room two. I put Taylor in three, the corner room. Sage and Aiden are in room five. The Siegels will go in six, Lorelai and Jason are in seven—"

"W-wait, what happened to four?" asked Lorelai as they got to the front desk.

"By whom?" asked Lorelai.

"By friends of mine," Michel replied. He continued listing from the clipboard, "Sookie and Jackson are in—"

"Which friends did you invite?" asked Thea.

"You and Lorelai said I could invite friends, did you not?" asked Michel.

"I remember saying that," Thea replied.

"Okay, so I did that," Michel said. "I invited two of my friends and I put them in room four, now room four is taken with my friends are you suggested, okay?"

"Paw-paw and Chin Chin cannot come to the test run," Lorelai stated.

"Why not?" asked Michel.

"Because they are dogs, Michel," Lorelai pointed out.

"They cannot stay home by themselves," Michel said. "They get lonely and they eat expensive Italian things."

"Then get yourself a Chow sitter, because room four is for human beings only," Lorelai replied.

Thea patted Michel on the shoulder, "I would love to bring my cats, but I can't do that. Maybe I should turn the Dragonfly into a pet friendly place. Ooh, maybe have a small building that's pet friendly, have it fenced off so the dogs can run around and sleep, so they're not disrupting guests. I'll think about it."

They went up to Tom and Lorelai, who was saying, "Oh, hey, Tom, I'm putting Post-its where we need paint touch-ups."

"Got it," Tom replied.

"And, you know, we got that test run Saturday," Lorelai said. "I was really hoping to have some doors by then."

"I told you, the doors are coming," replied Tom.

"You told me that two weeks ago," Lorelai said.

"And I'm sure I meant it," Tom stated.

"Tom!" said Lorelai.

"I'm calling right now," Tom replied.

"I don't understand why you're allowing Rory to bring Anthony, and I don't get to bring my Chows," Michel told Lorelai.

Thea wondered if Michel just compared Anthony to a dog. "Because Rory is allowed to bring a guest."

"And I'm mad with power," joked Lorelai.

"They are cleaner than Anthony and Rory are. They are quieter than they are," Michel said.

"Stop comparing your dogs to Rory," Lorelai said. "And Anthony is...Anthony."

"As much as you love Rory, that is how much I love Paw-paw and Chin Chin," Michel said.

Lorelai started, "I gave birth to Rory—"

"And Thea," Michel added.

"And Thea," Lorelai hastily added, "I carried them inside me and eight months and twenty-six hours later, they came out!"

"If I could have given birth to them myself, I would but I didn't have that choice!" exclaimed Michel.

Thea had to mentally add that to the list of things she'd rather not hear again. "Michel, please leave the dogs. I'll even pay for a Chow sitter for you, okay?"

They went to Kirk who was putting wood in the fireplace. Kirk's girlfriend, Lulu, was watching him. Thea had to admit, the dress Lulu was wearing was really cute.

"I think that's enough wood there, Kirk," Lorelai said.

"I put wood in all the guest rooms and the living room, so all I have to do is store the rest of the cord you bought," Kirk explained.

Thea ended up leaving, because she was supposed to visit Lane.

Thea watched Lane and Rory play a video game.

"Where'd he go?" asked Rory.

"I don't know," Lane replied.

"What do I do?" asked Rory.

"I don't know!" replied Lane.

"Did I lose?" asked Rory.

"It looks like you have no head, so probably," Lane replied.

"So this is what teenage boys are doing instead of watching television?" asked Rory.

"Apparently," Lane said.

"Seems like a lateral move," Rory said.

"Hey, are you two hungry?" asked Lane.

"Sort of," Thea replied.

Rory said, "I'm starving."

"Well, your timing is perfect, 'cause I went to the story yesterday," Lane said, going to spot in the kitchen and lifting the rug, and then pulling up a floorboard.

Thea asked, "How mad are the owners going to get when they see that?"

"And you just got away from the floorboard life," Rory added.

"Boys will eat everything," Lane said. "I bought vanilla-almond body lotion the other day."

Rory looked disgusted, "No."

Lane carried back a package of crackers and Underwood Deviled Ham. "On chips – mine by the way." She sat down in the beanbag chair.

"So, Dean came by to see me," Rory admitted.

"You've been here twenty minutes, and you drop this now?" asked Lane.

"He just showed up at my dorm on Saturday night," Rory said.

Thea almost groaned, "What did he want?"

Rory started, "Well—"

"Wait," Lane said. She opened the package of crackers and unwrapped the canned deviled ham and opened that too. She scooped some deviled ham with the cracker. She sighed, "Go."

"Well, Anthony and I got back from eating and Dean was there," Rory replied.

"What did he want?" asked Lane.

"He wanted me to go out with him again," Rory explained.

Thea scoffed, "He knows you're dating someone right?"

"Yeah, everyone in Stars Hollow knows you have a boyfriend," Lane agreed.

"I don't know. It was so weird," Rory said. "He was just...Dean. I mean, he shows up out of nowhere and wants to go out with me again. It was awful. Dean...I don't know."

"If you're thinking about getting back together with Dean, I will smack you," Thea told Rory.

"I'm not," Rory replied. "I love A – it was that Dean was the perfect first boyfriend. He read, at least, he used too. He watched movies with me and my mom. He was cute. But then he started calling a lot, he got mad when I couldn't say 'I love you' back. And then he got extremely jealous over Aiden, and I started crushing on Jess. And now Dean wants me back? It's been like two years."

"You're in love with Anthony?" asked Lane, excited. "Does he know?"

"That's what you got out of that?" asked Rory.

"No offense, but Dean was bland and boring," Lane replied. "His entire life revolved around you. And have you seen his bangs? Now, does Anthony know you're in love with him?"

"No," Rory said. "I was going to tell him when we walked back to Yale, but I chickened out."

"You should call him and tell him," Lane said. "Or better yet...where is he anyway?"

"He's back in Florida but he'll be here for the test run," Rory replied

On the day of the test-run at the Inn, Thea wore a shirt and a ruffled skirt.

Rory was helping decorating for the inn when Sookie came into the front desk area, "My kitchen staff's great – all seven of them!"

"Hang in there Sookie," Rory replied, laying down what looked to be daisies in jars on the table as centerpieces.

"One of them will eventually suck," Sage added.

"Maybe it would rub off on the rest," Sookie agreed.

"Plenty of time to end up sucking," Sage agreed.

Lorelai spoke into a walkie-talkie, "Tom, where are my doors? They were supposed to be here by now."

Tom responded, "Yeah, I know. They took a wrong turn and headed to Woodbridge."

"What?" asked Lorelai.

Thea groaned, "How much am I paying that guy again?"

Sage went up to Thea and put one arm around her waist and kissing the side of her head, "No idea." 

"Relax," Tom responded. "I'm trying to track them down."

"Um, Tom, guests are showing up here any second," Lorelai replied. "They have no doors. People will have to get very friendly very quickly."

"Mm, yes, a massive orgy," Sage replied. He looked over at Rory, "Watch Rory go down on Kirk."

Rory made a disgusted sound and threw a decorative pillow at Sage, "You're sick. In the head."

Sage laughed.

"I got the guy on the phone," Tom replied. "I'll get right back to you."

"Tom? Tom?" Lorelai chuckled as she spoke to Rory, "Hey, I've changed my mind. I want to be a ballerina."

"Good timing," Rory replied.

"Okay," Sookie said coming over to them. "So, we don't have doors, and every single person I hired is fantastic. We're doomed."

Michel spoke over a different walkie-talkie that Lorelai held, "The guests are arriving. I repeat, the guests are arriving."

"No," replied Lorelai. "Michel, we still don't have doors. Is there anything you can do to stall them?"

"No," replied Michel. "I'm bringing them up now."

"Boy, if he was on my kitchen staff, we'd be home free by now," Sookie replied.

"I got 'em," Tom said over the walkie-talkie.

"Doors?" Lorelai asked, "You got the doors?"

"They're on their way up," Tom replied. "My guys will be standing by to get them on."

Thea almost groaned, because that meant that Dean would be lurking and looming over Rory.

"Tom, I am loving you like a two-dollar whore,"Lorelai replied.

"Terrific," Tom responded. "I'll tell the wife."

"Okay," Lorelai said. "Everybody, the doors are on the way, guests are coming. Everybody outside to greet them. It's showtime. Let's go!" They headed outside, "Okay, everyone, remember, these people are not our friends. They are customers. Just relax, don't rush, and don't kill anybody." She glared at Sage and Rory, mostly because of the comment that Sage had made.

Excitedly, Sookie said, "Here they come!"

Three open trolleys arrive with the guests.

Thea can hear Miss Patty chatting with Doose, who was busy staring at the inn.

"Oh, look at that!" exclaimed Miss Patty, pointing at something.

The trolleys circled the fountain, pulling to a stop.

They walked down the steps, as Thea said, "Hi and welcome to the Dragonfly Inn."

"Oh, will you look at this place!" said Miss Patty.

"It's a paradise," Babette said. "Oh, Thea, the babies that are going to be conceived on this property!"

Thea was a little weirded out at the thought. "Thanks, Babette."

"Oh, are those horses!" Miss Patty said, looking at the horses, "Babette, look at the horses." Babette went to go look at the horses.

"That's Cletus and Desdemona, and if anyone would like to go for a ride, Michel can set it up for you," Lorelai explained as Doose approached.

"The ride up here was very dusty, Lorelai," Doose said. "You should warn people not to wear their white pants upon arrival."

"I'm more concerned about someone wearing white pants," Anthony said, coming up to them with Aiden following. "White pants do not look good for everyone. In high school, this girl wore white pants and then some guy stepped on a carton of chocolate milk and it splattered all over that girl's white pants. And some other guy."

"And I was thinking that something different was going to happen to that girl," Rory replied.

"I will make sure that no one wears white pants on the way up here," Lorelai told Doose.

Doose asked, "So, do I bring my own bags in or...?"

"We have people for that," Thea replied.

"Yeah, Eric, Jeremy, Sam, these bags, please," Lorelai called to luggage handlers, who went to go bring in the bags.

"The blue one has breakables," Taylor called after the handlers.

Although now that Thea thought about it, if the ride to the Inn was dusty, was it wise to leave the luggage out to where it could collect dust? And then bring the luggage inside to lay down so the floor or furniture to get dusty?

"We need to rethink about the trolley rides, so we can avoid getting luggage dirty," Thea told Lorelai.

Tom came up to them, "Okay, they're unloading them in the back. I already sent Dean in to start putting them up."

"He's talking about the doors," Rory told Anthony.

"Oh, make sure the keys are ready," Lorelai told either Thea or Rory.

"I'll make sure the keys are ready," Rory told Lorelai.

"And I'll make sure Dean doesn't salivate over you," Thea added going inside with Rory.

Anthony followed, "This is your property. You can kick Dean off, right?"

Aiden made to follow them, but Sage had interceptedhim and led Aiden somewhere to discuss whatever it is that they talk about.

"Sure, but I like to think of it as him making up for punching Aiden in the face," Thea said, smirking.

Anthony nodded, "Pettiness runs through you."

Thea smiled, "Thank you." She looked at the keys.

Anthony noticed a picture behind the desk, "Is that Fran?"

Thea glanced at it and felt a wave of sadness, "Yeah. She owned the inn previously before giving it to me." She grabbed at the that Fran had wanted to give her at her high school graduation, but never made it. The engraving inside of it said: No matter where you are, I am always with you.​​​​​​​ Fran would've been so proud of her.

Rory took the room key and grabbed Anthony's arm, "Come on." She led Anthony away and whispered, "Fran was like a mother to her, and she passed away two years ago." They got to the staircase.

"Oh, now I feel like a dick for reminding her," Anthony replied. "I should apologize."

"That'll make it worse," Rory pointed out.

"True," Anthony replied.

Rory kissed him, pressing Anthony into the banister and—

"Ahem."

That was Dean and he was holding a door.

"Oh, sorry," Rory said, maneuvering herself and Anthony over so they weren't blocking the entrance to the stairs, but Rory tried to press closer to Anthony, to show Dean that she was dating someone.

Dean didn't see it that way. He saw it as Anthony pulling Rory close and practically dry humping her.

Dean rolled his eyes and continued up the stairs—

"That was uncalled for!" yelled Rory. She had seen Dean hit Anthony on the head with the door. It wasn't a hard hit, just enough to get his point across.

"It's fine," Anthony replied, rubbing at the spot that got hit by the door.

"No, it's not. He hit you with the door," Rory replied.

"It was an accident," Dean replied.

Thea came over, "What's going on?

"Dean hit Anthony with the door," Rory said.

"It was an accident," repeated Dean.

Thea narrowed her eyes and glared at Dean, "Dean, it would be wise to not hit our guests that have enough money to sue your ass straight into hell where you'll be limbo-dancing with the devil to get out of it." She added, "Whether it was an accident or not."

Dean mumbled a 'sorry, man' before continuing up the stairs. He didn't even see Anthony flip him off.

"How's your head?" Rory asked, "Do you need ice?"

"I'm fine," Anthony replied. "It didn't even hurt that much."

Thea went to the front desk, where Michel was.

"I don't want to know," Michel replied.

"Good, because I wasn't going to tell you," Thea replied.

Lorelai came over, "Tell Michel what?"

Thea looked at Michel.

Lorelai handed a key to Georgia and Jess, "There you go, Jess. You're in room nine. Just follow your door." Georgia had narrowed her eyes but took the key.

"Don't forget to write down any criticism you have," Thea added.

"Don't worry," Jess said. "I'll make sure to make you cry."

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you," Thea replied.

Jess and Georgia followed a man, who was carrying a door, upstairs.

Thea was pretty sure that Lorelai said Jess, because she didn't want the criticism of calling Georgia 'Virginia'.

Miss Patty came to the desk, "Oh, honey, this place is spectacular."

"Thanks, Patty," Lorelai said. "You are in room one. I hope you like it."

"Oh, I just know everything's going to be perfect," Miss Patty replied. "There is nothing that you could do that I wouldn't love."

"I appreciate it, but this is a test run. We need all the criticism we could get, so things wouldn't happen again," Thea explained.

"All right, I promise to be a pain," Miss Patty replied.

"Do your worst," Thea told Miss Patty.

"Just follow your door to your room," Lorelai added.

"Oh," Miss Patty replied. She went to the man who was holding a door. "After you, sweetheart."

The man went upstairs, but Thea did notice how Miss Patty was clearly checking the man out.

Thea ran into a Kirk Problem.

"Excuse me, Thea, I hope you understand, but I need some stuff taken out of my room," Kirk said.

Thea was confused, "What stuff?"

"The lamp, the bronze bookends, the books, the shoehorns, the sewing kit," Kirk listed. "Are the paintings bolted to the walls?"

"Yeah, to keep people from stealing them," Thea replied. She wondered if she should ask or not, because in one way, she wanted to know, but on the other, she really didn't want to know.

"Well, bring some pliers in case simple yanking doesn't do it," Kirk replied.

Thea asked, "Why?"

"Are you in love with Sage and Aiden?" asked Kirk.

"Yeah," replied Thea.

"Then you understand it's a love problem," Kirk replied.

Thea considered it. The thing about inns was that they must accommodate the guests, no matter the weird request, right?

"I'll send someone to remove the things that might potentially cause bloodshed," Thea replied.

Kirk seemed oddly relieved, "Thank you. I would hug you, but I don't want to cause tension between my Lulu and your Sage and Aiden."

"Just write it down in the comment card," Theareplied. "That would be better."

She returned to the front desk where Todd, Paris, and Libby were at. "Don't forget to write down any criticism you might have."

"Don't worry," Paris replied. "I'll have you sobbing on the ground, begging for forgiveness."

Slowly, Thea said, "Thanks." She paused, "I think."

"First criticism, the doors aren't on," Paris said, as they moved upstairs. "I hope the next time I show up, the doors will be on."

Rory finally returned from wherever she had been. "Hey, you know, this door is actually pretty fun."

"Michel said to fill in for him," Rory replied. "Kirk has him taking the lightbulbs out of all the sconces."

Thea had to do a double take. "Weren't you wearing a long-sleeve shirt earlier?"

"What's wrong with the shirt I am wearing now?" replied Rory.

She had put the shirt on, to helpfully remind Dean that she was dating someone.

(Dean saw the shirt as a sign that Anthony was 'marking his territory.')

Emily and Richard walked in.

Lorelai exclaimed, "Oh, Mom, Dad!" To Rory, "Look, Rory, there are your grandparents and everything they own."

"You didn't tell us what attire was required, so I had to pack everything," Emily replied.

"Hi, Grandma. Hi Grandpa," Rory greeted. "We're so glad you could come."

"We're delighted to be here," Richard replied. "May we have our key? I'm tired from the drive."

"It was a twenty-minute drive," Thea pointed out.

"It felt longer," Richard replied.

"Which way do we go?" Emily asked, "Upstairs?"

"No, Mom," Lorelai started as Rory got the key, "You and Dad aren't upstairs. You're in our nicest room." She spoke to the luggage handlers, "Guys will you take my parents to room twelve." She spoke to her parents, "The boys will take you there."

The luggage handlers went outside to go to the bungalow.

"Where are the going?" asked Emily.

Lorelai said, "Just follow them, Mom."

"They're heading outside," Emily pointed out.

"That's because you have a separate room," Thea said. "Room twelve is a bungalow."

"Oh," replied Emily. "Why didn't you just say so?" She looked at Rory and Thea, "We'll see you two later."

"Bye," Rory said. After Emily and Richard walked out, Rory spoke to Lorelai, "You are the bad seed."

Lorelai started stroking Rory's cheeks and speaking in an odd voice, "'I have the prettiest mother. Everybody thinks so.'"

Thea was thinking, The fuck? She looked at Rory, "Are you talking, bad seed like a 'bad person' or The Bad Seed as in Rhoda from the book and movie?"

Luke walked in with Jessie in tow, but Luke was carrying a bouquet of flowers.

Luke took his time to look around and Lorelai went over to Luke. "You came."

"Sure," Luke replied. "I RSVP'd."

"Oh," replied Lorelai.

Luke went over to Thea and gave her the bouquet, "Here, these are for you – a little congratulations for opening the Dragonfly."

Thea was pleasantly surprised, but took the bouquet, "Thanks, Luke."

Lorelai went over to the front desk but walked right into a door that a man was holding. "Oh!" Lorelai somehow hit her face again, "Oh, god!"

Rory looked extremely worried.

"Are you okay?" asked Jessie, alarmed.

"I'm fine," Lorelai replied.

"Third time's the charm," Thea replied.

"That was your door, so you could just follow that on up...and we'll see you both at dinner," Lorelai said.

Thea handed the key to Luke.

Luke asked Lorelai, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Lorelai said. "I'm fine. It's like the third time I did that today. It's a bit. We're going to be the comedy inn. We finally found our theme."

Luke and Jessie went up the staircase together.

"I don't understand why it's called 'fuck, marry, kill,'" Anthony said. "It sounds better calling it 'bed, wed, behead.'"

"Calm down there, Henry," Paris told him.

"Who the – oh, he's the guy who invented a religion to divorce his wife," Anthony replied.

"He also murdered six of his wives," Paris told him.

"He was probably my grandmother's inspiration," Anthony muttered.

"Do I even want to know?" asked Jess.

"She allegedly killed four of her husbands and took all their money. That's how she got rich," Anthony replied. "I say allegedly because it looked like accidents. Except the last one was self-defense. She stabbed him after he was trying to strangle her. But she was into freaky shit."

"Define 'freaky'," Sage replied.

"She liked being strangled in the bedroom," Anthony replied.

"Huh," said Rory, looking like she was thinking.

"No, I'm not strangling you in the bedroom," Anthony told Rory.

"Okay, but I was actually thinking about strangling you," Rory told him.

Lorelai, who walked by them, looked scandalized.

Thea tried hard not to laugh at the look on Lorelai's face. Her sweet little baby wanted to choke someone while having sex.

Lorelai swung by the table where Jason and Anthony were playing Connect Four together. She asked, "And how's it going over here?"

Jason had thought that it would be a good idea to get to know his girlfriend's daughter's boyfriend by playing a two-player game. Next up was Sage, who was busy playing Battleship with Aiden, because Jess, Georgia, Liberty, Todd, Aiden, Paris, and Thea were playing Clue. It looked like Paris had taken the game way too seriously and started grilling Jess.

"Anthony is kicking my ass and he's barely paying attention." Anthony would glance up from the book he was reading to place his red discs to go back to reading and somehow, he won five times.

"I suggested Battleship, but he wanted Connect Four," Anthony replied. "We flipped a coin."

"I saw Rory playing a board game with Tom," Lorelai told Anthony. She just wanted to see how he would react.

"Are you really trying to see if I would get jealous. Because that's some weird first grader jealousy right there." Anthony said, confused. "Like," he took on a childish tone, "'My girlfriend is building sandcastles with another boy.'"

Jason laughed, "'My girlfriend is playing tag with another group of boys.'"

Lorelai moved on.

There was a commotion outside the bakery. It sounded like there had been an argument of some kind:

"Just leave me alone, Dean!" Rory had shouted. "I'm not in love with you anymore! I'm in love with Anthony!"

It was a slow night, so of course the commotion made Ethan, Craig, Elowen, and Dave curious enough to go outside.

"What the hell is going on?" demanded Ethan. It looked like Dean's eye was swelling shut.

"This piece of shit kissed Rory without her permission. In front of Anthony no less," Aiden replied. "And he's been harassing nonstop for months. So I punched him because I know that Anthony wouldn't want to get arrested again."

"It's just that this guy is a creep and no one else can see it," Dean defended himself.

"I think forcefully kissing a girl in front of her boyfriend makes you way more a creep," Craig pointed out. "But that's just my opinion."

Anthony and Rory walked away, but Anthony had his arm around Rory's shoulders, because she was really upset.

Dave and Craig stood there, arms crossed, while Elowen and Ethan stood on the other side of Dean. He realized he was trapped, while Aiden walked away, to go back to the inn.

"Okay, maybe we should talk about this rationally?" asked Dean.

Aiden had to cover his ears for plausible deniability, because he didn't hear 'anything'.

Lorelai ended up going home, because Rory was taking too long to get the CDs and to tell her that a naked Kirk ran out of the inn, screaming while Luke and Jessie ended up chasing him down.

She passed by the bakery and when she looked in, it looked like Ethan, Craig, Dave, and Elowen were reading a battered Dean the riot act. When she stopped to look at them, all of them just smiled and waved at her, which was just weird.

When Lorelai passed by, Elowen slapped her hands on the table, startling Dean, so she could continue yelling at him.

When Lorelai walked into the house, she heard crying coming from Rory's room. The door was open, and Lorelai briefly wondered what the hell Anthony did to her as she walked towards Rory's room.

"Do you want me to make you some coffee? How about cookies then? They won't be as good as Thea's," Anthony was saying.

Lorelai stopped in her tracks. Okay, so Anthony didn't make Rory cry then.

"I'm fine," Rory replied.

"I can make you a grilled cheese sandwich. Or how about I order a pizza for you? I can make one for you," Anthony was saying.

It sounded like they kissed.

"Yeah, I'm not having sex with you when you're upset," Anthony told Rory.

Lorelai wasn't sure why that surprised her, but it did. 

"Well, then can you hold me?" asked Rory.

"You don't have to ask me for cuddles," Anthony told her.

It sounded like they laid down on the bed.

"Thanks for being here with me," Rory told him. "I love you."

"I love you too," Anthony told her.

Lorelai went to the front door. It seemed like Anthony was genuinely a good person, despite his past addiction and conviction. Rorywas lucky to have found a guy like him.