A/N: Title taken from a lyric in Krypteria's song You & I.

Jess ended up buying a two-bedroom apartment for him and Georgia. The extra room was for Liberty so she can move in, due to Luke and Jessie's relationship. If Liberty doesn't want to move in, it can be the room that Georgia sends him too whenever he eventually pisses her off. Or for Billie, if Rachel decides to have a night for herself.

The thing was that it was next door to Dean's apartment that he was staying in.

Why?

1. It was decent and cheap. Plenty of space.
2. And it was so Jess could torment Dean while Thea and her friends were at college.

The thing was, Jess figured out Dean's roommate's schedule very quickly, and he figured out when Dean would get home, so Jess would do everything in his power to annoy the hell out of Dean when Jess was home.

Jess would do the following:

1. Make overly garlicky food.
2. He asked Anthony about the most obnoxious country bands that he (Anthony) knew of so Jess could blare the country music while Dean tried to sleep. Jess had put the stereo next to a wall that Dean's bed was against. (Anthony didn't know the reason why Jess did that.)

3. Strike up friendly conversations with Dean and Ricky, so Dean can't look like an asshole by telling Jess to go away because Ricky liked Jess and thought he was just friendly.
4. Slam cabinets and drawers.
5. Take Dean's parking space.

So, Jess was friendly to Dean's roommate, Ricky, and the rest of the neighbors, but he was a menace to Dean, to cause friction between the two and the neighbors and to make Dean come off as unhinged whenever Dean complains about Jess.

Of course, Jess knew he had to space out being a nuisance to avoid getting evicted. 

Although to be fair, Jess had to listen to the upstairs neighbor and their bowling alley practice. 

Jess had detailed all that in an email that he sent to Thea.

There was a knock on the door and Rory, wearing a shirt and jeans, went to answer it.

Rory was surprised to see Dean at the door, "Dean."

"Surprise," replied Dean. It had nothing on the fact that he can obviously see that Rory wasn't wearing a bra.

Rory was confused, "What are you doing here?"

"Um, I come bearing gifts," Dean replied, glancing down at the bookcase he brought.

"A bookcase?" asked Rory.

Dean just casually let himself (and the bookcase) into the suite. "Yeah, the one from the inn. Do you see what's going on out there?"

"Yeah, because Thea owns the inn," Rory said.

Rory spotted Glenn struggling to drag a beer keg up the stairs. A student walked past him, "Thanks for the help."

"Should I give him a hand?" asked Dean as Rory closed the door.

"If he doesn't work for his inebriation, he won't appreciate it," Rory said. "There's a big party of Friday night. It must be for that."

"Yeah?" Dean asked, "You going?"

"I have two papers due, so I'll be in Stars Hollow with Anthony avoiding the fray," Rory replied. "I'll just have a brewski there."

Dean laughed, "So, uh, which way's your room?"

Rory looked at the dorm room, "Anthony, put on some pants."

Dean was pretty sure he heard a groan. He couldn't believe that Anthony was over. He didn't even live in the suite. Why was he here?

"It's that way," Rory said, pointing to the dorm, once she was sure that Anthony put on some pants.

They headed for the dorm, "So, where did this come from?"

Dean explained, "Well, your mom had it made for the Dragonfly, but it didn't fit, so she thought you could use it here. She didn't tell you?" He spotted Anthony lying on a bed reading a book, shirtless, but wearing pants.

"Nope," Rory replied.

"Small," Dean said, looking around the dorm room.

"Well, it is bathtub sized," Anthony said.

Dean gave Anthony a look before saying, "Hey, you know I saw a guy struggling to carry a keg up the stairs."

"It was Glenn and yes, the dorm room is bathtub sized," Rory said.

"There's no place to put this," Dean said, looking around the room,

"Yes again," Rory replied.

"What was your mom thinking?" asked Dean, looking down at Rory's chest.

"That I have books and that's probably the extent of it," Rory replied, looking around the room.

Dean got hit on the head by a pen. He turned to glare at Anthony, who looked like he hadn't moved an inch. 

Anthony looked up, "There's a spot right there in front of the wall. Just move the basket and Paris's craft box." He paused, "Then again...don't move Paris's craft box." He'd rather not be on the receiving end of Paris's wrath for moving things that didn't belong to him.

"Exactly, no space," Rory said.

Dean said, "Right. So, I guess I'll take it back."

"Or give it to Thea," Rory replied. "Although I don't think she has room in her dorm either."

"I did stop by her dorm first and she told me to bring it to you," Dean replied, but it most likely went unheard because Rory and Anthony were clearly eye-fucking each other. "So, I'm just take this back."

Rory looked at Dean and nodded in a distracted manner, "Sure, sure. Just close the door on your way out."

Dean headed for the door and looked back.

Rory was on top of Anthony, both making out. Disgusted, Dean hurried out of the dorm room, now knowing why Rory told him to close the door on the way out.

God, Anthony was like forty-years-old. Can't he stay out of Rory's pants for like five minutes?

In Stars Hollow, Thea followed Lane and Rory down the street. She was trying to ignore the rotting egg smell that seemed to follow them.

"There was a death-to-disco movement in the late '70s – very intense. We had Donna Summer on the run," Lane said.

"'We?'" Rory pointed out, "You weren't born yet."

"I'm a kindred spirit," Lane said.

Thea pointed out, "You know that movement involved white men destroying records that had a Black artist on them, right? Georgia learned about it. And a man lost his job because disco was popular on the radio, so he decided to start the 'disco sucks' campaign as revenge."

"So, where's the passion now, huh?" Lane asked, "Where is it?"

"There's no disco to kill anymore," Rory said. "They wiped it out."

Lane pointed out, "But there are other things that need wiping out – phony rappers, most techno, alt country, Christian rock, anything fusion, classic alternative radio, where all they do is play the same Nirvana song over and over – the Rubens, the Clays, the Clarksons."

Thea wondered how Lane could say she was open-minded but then look down on music like that.

"Okay, Rosanne Cash isn't that awful," Rory defended. "She doesn't deserve to have her genre killed."

There was a group of people wandering around the square.

"It's gonna be a bloodbath," Rory said. She noticed the group of people, "What are they doing?"

"You two smell that smell?" asked Lane.

"Yeah, it smells like rotting eggs," Thea replied.

"Taylor left Kirk in charge of the Easter egg hunt, and they didn't exactly find them all," explained Lane.

"So, they lost the egg map?" asked Thea.

"They didn't make an egg map," Lane replied.

"They didn't make an egg map?" repeated Rory.

"I was just as shocked," Lane replied.

"How come they didn't make an egg map?" asked Thea.

Rory agreed, "Yeah, they always make an egg map."

"Let's have the hourly report, Joe," said Taylor.

Thea stopped in her tracks and looked at Taylor as he, Joe, and Kirk continued walking.

"What are you staring at?" asked Lane.

"What the hell died on Taylor's head?" asked Thea. The top of Taylor's hair was darker than the rest of his head.

"His hair?" asked Rory, looking just as baffled.

"Yeah, I know," agreed Lane.

"That must be the toupee that Jackson emailed me about," Thea replied, trying not to crack up.

Thea spotted Jackson, Sage, and Gypsy at a tree. Sage looked miserable.

"Come on," Lane said to Thea and Rory. "I have to get this shopping done."

They headed inside the Market and grabbed shopping baskets.

Thea asked, "So, what exactly are we looking for again?"

"Well, we still have no fridge, no stove, and no microwave, so nothing perishable, nothing that requires boiling water, and nothing that needs to be cooked," Lane listed.

"I'm guessing the day-old sushi is out," Rory said.

"It was never in," retorted Lane.

"Beef jerky?" asked Rory.

"Definitely," Lane replied.

"And protein bars," added Rory.

Lane said, "Oh, I'm sorry. When did I win the lottery?"

"When did protein bars become a luxury?" asked Thea.

"They are when you live with guys that eat ten of everything when one's the correct portion," Lane explained. "Got to keep that proportion cost low."

"Pretzels," Rory suggested.

"Perfect," Lane agreed.

"And, of course, the perennial Pop-Tart," Rory suggested.

"Oh, load up on those," Lane said.

Thea grimaced, now knowing why Dave and Brian were stuffing themselves. "Okay, Lane, here's what we're really going to do. We put these back," she put the nonperishable junk food back and went down to a different aisle. She said, "and here, bread and peanut butter. Have peanut butter sandwiches. That's what Lorelai used to give me and Rory when we lived in that potting shed, and we were hungry.

"Good idea," Rory replied. She spoke to Lane, "Did I tell you that Dean stopped by?"

"Where?" Lane asked, "Yale?"

"He was delivering a bookcase for my mom," Rory explained. "Hey, you want a bookcase? It's free."

Thea was confused, "Bookcase?"

"Yeah, the one for the inn," Rory said. "You told him to give it to me."

"I'm unaware that that conversation ever took place," Thea replied. "He never showed up with a bookcase."

"Why would he lie about it then?" asked Rory.

Thea thought about it, "He wants to get back together with you."

"I have a boyfriend," Rory replied. "He knows that."

"Doesn't seem to matter to him," Thea replied. She turned back to focus on Lane, "Here...canned fruits and vegetables. Take the ones in water. They last longer. Ooh, yeah, canned chicken, canned tuna, canned salmon..."

"Don't add canned sardines," Lane added.

"No canned sardines, got it," Thea replied.

"How about marshmallows?" asked Rory.

"Sure," Lane said, "and throw in a Park Avenue mansion while you're at it."

"Another luxury – got it," Rory said.

Lane asked, "So, is Dean working full time or something? I thought he was going to college."

"He said he's doing construction part-time, I think," Rory said. "I just don't get what he wants."

"He wants to get back together with you," Thea repeated.

"Which is ridiculous because he knows I'm dating Anthony," Rory repeated.

"He probably thinks he's trying to save you from Anthony," Lane replied. "He knows about Anthony's past. Sometimes he complains about it me." She had been working at Luke's. "He always asking 'what does she see in him?' I just ignore him."

"Hey, melba toast," Rory said.

"Cheap, tasteless, filling," Lane stated.

"I'll grab a bunch," Rory replied.

"Put the canned chicken, canned tuna, canned salmon on it," Thea said, grabbing a few more cans. She even put fruit cups that were in water in the basket.

"And I'll get one bag of marshmallows so they boys can have a treat afterwards," Lane told Rory. She gave Thea a look warning her to stay away from the marshmallows.

When they went to pay for the stuff, Thea grabbed some coupons and handed them to Lane, "Here. These are going to be your one truelove for a while. Sorry that Dave had to be dropped down to number two, but you're going to use these so much, the store will end up paying you."

Thea was dragged down to some family thing at the Gilmore house in Hartford. So, she wore a dress with sleeves for the thing.

"Hi, Thea," Emily greeted when Thea got onto the patio. There was a man sitting on a chair, that Thea assumed was Jason, Lorelai's boyfriend.

"So, you're Thea," Jason said to her. "It's nice to finally meet you. Lorelai mentioned you."

"You must be Jason. Rory mentioned you," Thea replied to him, before sitting down on the couch.

"Oh, hey, move over to this chair," Emily told Thea, making her move to a different chair.

"Hi, guys," Lorelai greeted, as she walked on to the patio. "Wow, love the heaters."

"It's not too cold, is it?" Emily explained, "We thought we'd start the evening out here. Where's Rory?"

"Oh, she says she's running a little late," Lorelai said.

"School thing?" asked Richard as he fussed over the cart.

Thea cringed a little.

"Oh, no, it's an Anthony thing," Lorelai replied.

Emily and Richard seemed confused.

"Apparently someone thought it'd be funny to plant drugs on Anthony's car and call the cops on him to try and get him arrested," Thea explained. "The cops let him go because they thought his shocked and confused reaction was genuine. He was extremely upset because they obviously found his previous drug possession record and he thought he was going to get arrested because 'that's not mine' clearly wouldn't fly. So, Rory was trying to comfort him."

Emily looked aghast, "Who would think that's funny?"

Thea thought about it. She had a suspicion she knew who did it, but she'd rather not deal with Lorelai freaking out over her theory, so she said, "Assholes?"

Jason said, "Wait. Rory's boyfriend had gone to prison for drug possession?"

"It was jail, and he did two years," Thea told him. "He was addicted to heroin for a couple years, but he doesn't do drugs anymore."

"Oh," Jason replied. "I know a private investigator who could track down who might have tried to get this guy arrested."

Lorelai patted Jason's arm, "That's sweet of you, but Anthony's family is also wealthy, so if he wants, he can contact a PI."

"I thought I'd offer to help," Jason replied.

Rory eventually came out onto the patio, "Sorry, I'm late. There was this situation—"

"Yes, we know all about what happened to Anthony," Emily told Rory. "We are upset over it too."

"We are?" asked Lorelai, confused.

Emily asked, "Is it too cold out here?"

"No, it's nice," Rory replied, sitting down on the couch.

"No, no," Richard said. "I'm not seeing the olives that Floyd likes."

"They're in the back on the right," Emily said. "Is this cart in the best place?" She looked at Lorelai and Rory on the couch, then at Thea in the chair. "Oh, this is all wrong." She went over to them, "Jason, get up." She looked at Lorelai, "Lorelai, you move into the chair that Jason was sitting in." She went to Thea, "Thea, you sit in the spot that Lorelai was sitting in."

"Should we move the cart back?" asked Richard, as the group ended up playing musical chairs.

Emily looked at the cart, "Move it back."

"They keep moving everything back and forth," Jason murmured to Lorelai and Rory. "The cart, the heater, me and Thea." He pointed to a chair, "I used to be over there and Thea used to be right here." He pointed to the couch.

"They're perfectionists," Lorelai told him.

"It's like watching an ant farm," Jason said.

"Anthony's family once got into an argument over the table arrangement during fall break," Rory said thoughtfully. "Anthony's uncle got thrown out through the sliding glass doors. That's why the police were called."

Jason gave Lorelai an alarmed look.

"Anthony's family is notorious for getting arrested," Lorelai told him. "I'll tell you later."

"Oh," Richard said. "I should grab that gin that Floyd likes. I've got some in the freezer."

Emily said, "Maybe it was better in the other spot."

"Patio looks great, Mom, really," Lorelai said.

"I guess," Emily said. "Where's that awful light coming from?"

"Are you talking about the moon?" asked Thea.

"You're not thinking of having the moon moved, are you, Mom?" asked Lorelai.

"I suppose it will move on its own at some point," Emily said.

Thea was confused. "Were you seriously thinking of moving the moon like in Bruce Almighty?"

"Ooh, I have to show Anthony that movie," Rory said. "I think it'll cheer him up."

Emily looked at Lorelai, "You look nice."

"Thank you," Lorelai replied.

"Why do you look so nice?" asked Emily.

Thea looked at Lorelai, and joked, "Yeah, who did you dress up for?"

Lorelai looked at Thea, "Nice hickey. Did you get it from Sage or Aiden?"

Thea rubbed her neck awkwardly.

Emily eyed Thea, "One of those boys has a fascination of eating you like you're a rare steak."

Rory started snickering, "Her neck is probably not the thing they're eating."

"Rory!" admonished Lorelai, shocked at that comment.

Thankfully the doorbell rang.

"They're here," Emily said. She called out to Richard, "Richard, they're here!"

Rory pointed out to Lorelai, "You do look especially nice tonight."

"What is with everyone?" Lorelai said, "It's not like I'm always in dirty sweats fresh from slopping the pigs."

"You know what I mean," Rory replied. "You don't have that just-came-from-work look about you."

"A girl can't dress up a little?" asked Lorelai.

"Your mom's a little nervous," Jason told her and Thea.

Lorelai shushed him, "Ta-ta-ta-da."

"Oh, right," Rory replied. "You're meeting the parents. I actually had not put that together before. That's why you showered."

Thea asked Jason, "Do they even know that you two are dating?"

"Both of them do," Lorelai replied. "And that's not why I showered." She looked at Rory, "And I can't wait to tease you on whenever I meet Anthony's parents."

"If you even want to with the way you dislike him," Thea muttered.

There was giggling from inside the house, so they got up.

Richard, Emily, Floyd, and Floyd's wife walk out onto the patio.

"Here we are!" called Floyd.

"Oh, your patio is beautiful, Emily," Floyd's wife said.

"Thank you, Carol," Emily replied.

Carol spoke to Jason, "Hi, honey." She and Jason hugged each other.

"Hi, Mom," Jason replied.

Thea was oddly reminded of how couldn't even remember the last time she hugged Lorelai.

Richard said, "Floyd, Carol, our daughter Lorelai."

"How do you do?" asked Floyd. He shook Lorelai's hand.

"And our granddaughters, Rory and Thea," Richard added.

"Hello," greeted Floyd, shaking Rory's hand and then Thea's.

"Hi," Rory and Thea said in unison.

"We've met before, but a long time ago," Lorelai added. She shook Carol's hand, "Hi."

"We remember you well," Floyd replied.

"You didn't dress up for our benefit, I hope," Carol added.

"No, no," Lorelai said. "This is nothing weird."

"How 'bout some beverages, everybody?" Richard asked, "Extra dry martini still your drink, Floyd?"

"Absolutely," Floyd said.

"Same here, Dad," Lorelai told Richard.

Richard asked, "And bourbon with a splash of branch water, right, Carol?"

Thea tried to figure out what branch water was.

"Thank you, Richard," Carol said.

Jason took a plate from Emily, "Oh, here, Emily."

Carol looked around the patio, "You've redone the patio. It's gorgeous!"

"Don't you think?" replied Emily.

"Oh, and those trees – I love them," Carol continued. "What are they?"

"They're African," Emily replied. "Come see." She led Carol away, while Lorelai, Jason, Rory, and Thea sat down.

Floyd looked at Lorelai, "I'm trying to remember when we saw you last."
"Ah, probably at camp," Lorelai replied.

"Right," Floyd said. "The day we came to pick up Jason. There was a talent show. You sang a duet with a pimply fellow."

Lorelai smiled, "'Crater Face' Cutler."

"He's a litigator now," Jason added. "Very bitter man."

Thea was sure that she would be bitter too if her nickname was 'Crater Face.'

"Well, the pimply fellow stank," Floyd said. He spoke to Lorelai, "But you were wonderful – very charming."

Knowing Lorelai, it was probably mildly inappropriate, Thea was sure.

"It was from Grease," Lorelai said.

"How Crater Face got his pimples?" asked Jason.

"No, my song – Summer Lovin'," Lorelai replied. "I had to sit on his lap at one point. It was very uncomfortable."

Thea wouldn't be surprised if this 'Crater Face' guy had a boner during the song.

"Crater Face had very bony knees," Jason replied.

Floyd spoke to Jason, "And you did a dance with somebody, if I remember correctly."

"Oh, yes, he cha-cha'd," Lorelai replied.

"Well, thank you for brining that up," Jason said.

"The Cha-Cha is a classic dance," Thea told him. "We did that dance for gym in the seventh and eighth grade."

"I hated that dance portion of gym," Rory said. "Even more embarrassing was having to get on stage and do it in front of everybody." It was one lesson that she couldn't wiggle her way out of. She spoke to Lorelai, "And thank you for never sending me and Thea to camp."

Lorelai spoke to Jason, "You were great. I liked when you and your partner knocked heads."

"Clubfoot Cindy," Jason replied. "She married 'Crater Face' Cutler. Beautiful children."

"Huh," replied Lorelai.

Apparently she never heard of puberty, Thea thought.

"Here are your drink everybody," Richard came back with drinks on a tray. He had been humming, "Uh, Rory, Thea. We left your soda inside."

Thea didn't understand why they left the non-alcoholic beverages inside.
"Oh, I'll go get it," Rory said, getting up. Thea followed after her.

"I actually had a barbershop quartet at Yale," Floyd stated. "I was by far the weakest link."

"Sounds like Lorelai never changed since her camp days," Thea said to Rory.

"Thea," Rory chided.

"Mocking people's appearances, coming up with awful nicknames," Thea listed. "Wanna bet that this Crater Face guy had only four pimples?"

"Yeah, okay," Rory replied. "You got me on that."

"And with the way she talked about how girls were mean to her, it wouldn't surprise me if she was the mean girl and they were just retaliating against her," Thea pointed out.

"Maybe," replied Rory.

When they got to the kitchen, the maid, Elsa, told them that dinner would be ready in fifteen minutes and to go tell the others.

Rory went to tell the others while Thea got the sodas to drink and took them outside to wait fifteen minutes for food.

Eventually dinner finally rolled around and then finally dessert.

Carol and Floyd started sharing photos of their grandchildren with them.

"Oh, this is our grandson's first step," Carol said. "We were so lucky to have the camera ready."

"Oh, that's darling," Emily said.

"Oh, ho, ho." Richard said, "He's gonna be big."

"He's gonna start on the defensive lines for the Bulldogs in 2021," Floyd stated.

Carol giggled, "Floyd has it all worked out."

Lorelai looked at a picture and spoke to Jason, "I believe that's you very lovingly holding your nephew, who looks very happy in your arms."

"I just told him I'd opened a no-load mutual fund for him," Jason explained. "Tracks the SMP."

"You sentimental fool," Lorelai told him.

Emily said, "You know, I have some terrific pictures of Rory and Thea," Emily said. "I should go get them."

Thea was kind of curious about these pictures, but chances were that Emily was going to bring back an even number of photos to show.

"But, Grandma, we're right here," Rory said.

"I know, but you're both so big now," Emily replied.

"Slouch down in your chair for Grandma, honey," Lorelai told Rory.

"You know, if it's okay, I actually thought I might leave soon," Rory said.

"She's got a big paper due next week and lots of reading," Lorelai explained.

"Well, yeah, but I was going to the movie rental place to see if they have Bruce Almighty, because I thought it might cheer Anthony up," Rory said.

"Whose Anthony and why does he need cheering up?" asked Floyd curious.

"He's my boyfriend and someone pulled an awful prank on him that he got upset over," Rory explained.

"What awful prank was that?" asked Floyd.

Rory shrugged and explained, "He used to be addicted to heroin in his early twenties. He got arrested for drug possession and was in jail for two years before getting released. Someone planted fake drugs on him and called the cops. He thought he was going to get arrested for it, but the cops saw that he was genuinely shocked by it, so they let him go. He was really upset over it. So, I thought we could watch a comedy movie together to cheer him up. He's pretty open about his past addiction."

"That is terrible," Carol replied.

"I know a private investigator that I can refer Anthony too if he wants to figure out who tried to get him arrested," Floyd said.

Lorelai tried, "Oh, that's not necessary—"

"I'll talk to him about it first," Rory replied. "I better get going."

"Oh, yes, Rory," Emily agreed. "We've made you stay too long already."

"Oh, yes, go, go," Richard said. He looked at Thea, "You can go too. I'm sure you have papers to work on.

Thea nodded, "Yeah, I do."

"Thank you for looking like you weren't too bored all evening," Carol told them.

"Oh, no, I wasn't, really. It was fun," Rory said. "Bye, Grandma." She kissed Emily on the cheek, before getting up to kiss Richard goodbye.

"You have to go, too?" asked Emily.

"Oh, no, we came separately," Lorelai replied.

"Good," Emily replied.

"Bye, Grandpa," Rory said, kissing Richard on the cheek.

"Goodbye, Rory," Richard replied.

Thea got up and awkwardly hugged Richard and Emily, "Bye." She took off, following after Rory.

"Lovely girls," Floyd said.

"Oh, they're dolls," Emily replied.

"I just don't get it," Aiden was telling Thea. "Who would plant drugs on Anthony like that?"

"It was obviously Dean," Thea told him.

Aiden asked, "Why would Dean do that though?"

"He wants Rory back," Thea replied. "Why else do you think he keeps bothering her?"

"You know," Aiden started, "If Dean escalated to trying to get Anthony arrested, I'm a bit worried over what he's going to try now, since he failed at getting Anthony arrested."

"You're not the only one," Thea replied.