A/N: Liza Soberano is the face-claim to Zoe.

"I feel like I should sleep with Anthony," Rory told Thea one day.

Thea was really thrown at that, "What?"

"I mean, I feel like I should have sex with Anthony," Rory repeated.

A little horrified at the thought, Thea asked, "Is he pressuring you into having sex with him?" Yeah, it was a little weird that a twenty-six-year-old man was dating a nineteen-year-old, but that was between Anthony and Rory and they seemed to be happy together.

"What? No," replied Rory. "After that whole ballet article, we talked, and he apologized for not bringing up the formerly overweight thing, and we were kissing and I was thinking that I should sleep with him to cheer him up."

"Your first time really shouldn't be having sex with someone to cheer them up," Thea pointed out.

"Well, when is the time then?" asked Rory.

"If you have to ask that, then it's clearly not time for you," Thea replied. "And please don't try to force him into it either." She never thought she'd be giving Rory this talk.

"I'm not going to force him into doing it," Rory replied, aghast that Thea would think that of her.

"Force who into doing what?" asked Richard, coming up to them.

Rory smiled and hugged him, "Oh, don't worry about it, Grandpa."

"But I'm curious to know what's going on," Richard replied.

Thea started, "I was telling Rory that she should talk Todd into—"

"Never mind," Richard cut in. "I don't want to know why Rory would force him into anything because that boy seems like he would do anything if you ask him nicely."

Thea had to admit that Richard had a point there. Todd would do anything...just not alone.

"Well, I better go see if Todd is willing to wear that skirt," Thea said.

Rory made a weird face, before realizing that Thea was making up something to save Rory the embarrassment of talking about sleeping with Anthony.

Richard asked, "How about you have lunch with us? I'm sure that the skirt thing could wait."

Paris came up to them, "Okay, I'm ready."

"This roommate of mine sophomore year – we absolutely hated him. He was, in addition to being a complete nincompoop, rather a chubby lad," Richard was telling them.

Thea was confused, because what did the man being chubby have to do with anything?

"What was wrong with him being chubby?" asked Rory.

She really must've learned her lesson on fat-shaming.

"Nothing," admitted Richard. "So, me and my other roommates tied him in between two mattresses and threw him out the window."

"What?" asked Rory, alarmed.

"I'm writing that one down," said Paris.

Rory asked, "Was he okay?"

"Oh, he was fine," Richard replied. "He went to sleep. He woke up in the morning and picked up right where he left off."

"Man," replied Rory.

"We wound up throwing him out the window every night for a month," Richard explained. "And then he transferred."

"He must've enjoyed it, if he stuck it out for a month," Thea muttered. Why else would he stick around a bunch of assholes throwing him out the window for a month?

"I wouldn't doubt that," Richard said.

"Well, do you think you guys tossing him out the window on a regular basis had something to do with that decision?" asked Rory.

"Well, it crossed our minds, yes," Richard said. "However, we were young and full of energy. Everyday was an adventure. No challenge was too great. We wanted to change the world."

He couldn't have gone to the RA and filled out a complaint to have a new roommate?

"This is so great," Paris said. "Richard, I want to thank you for inviting me to lunch?"

"Well, you're very welcome, Paris," Richard replied. "How often does a man like me get the chance to entertain three such lovely and intelligent young ladies?"

Paris said, "You are a honey-tongued devil, aren't you, Dick?"

"So, tell me, what are your plans for the game?" asked Richard.

Well, Thea was planning on getting laid, but Richard didn't need to know that. "I was thinking of doing homework. Football isn't my speed."

"The game?" asked Rory.

"The game," Richard repeated. "The Harvard-Yale game."

"I'm going," Paris replied. "I already have my ticket. I bought it a month ago."

Thea was confused, "why?"

"It's the game, Thea," Paris replied. "It's a memory – a college memory. And I intend on having as many college memories as possible."

"Your grandmother and I have attended every one of these games for the past thirty-two years. We always buy a block of seats and we got two for you and Thea. So how about it? We'd love to take you both."

Well, there went my plans, Thea thought.

"And I would love to go," Rory said. She nudged Thea, because she didn't want to be alone in not understanding football terminology.

"Yeah, I'll go," Thea replied.

"Good," Richard said, beaming. "It'll be a wonderful day."

"It will be a day to remember," Paris added. 

"You want me to wear a skirt?" asked Todd.

"It just slipped out," Thea replied. Anthony was busy looking at his phone in a confused way.

"Why are you looking at your phone like that?" asked Georgia.

Jess was coming over for the Yale-Harvard game.

"My brother texted me 'eyelid time' and I'm trying to figure out what that means," Anthony replied. "And he hasn't responded when I asked him 'what the fuck does that mean'?"

"That is weird," Aiden replied.

"Not as weird as my sister texting me 'I'm on my way'," Anthony said.

"That's very threatening," Georgia said, nodding in approval.

Anthony said, "I'm pretty sure she meant to send that to someone else." He looked at them, "Why is Todd going to wear a skirt again?"

Liberty, Sage, Aiden, Georgia, and Todd looked at Thea on that one.

Thea shrugged, "Because I told Rory's grandfather that Todd is supposed to wear one on the day of the football game."

Anthony gave Thea a strange look, "Okay."

"I'll wear one as long as one of you joins me," Todd said, looking at Sage, Aiden, and Anthony.

"I would, but I don't have the legs to pull off a skirt," Anthony told Todd.

Thea gave him a weird look at that.

"I got so wasted, that my three lesbian housemates decided to put me in a dress and put makeup on me," Anthony explained with a shrug.

Thea wondered if it made sense for him to specify that three of his housemates were lesbians.

Sage asked, "Why would they do that?"

"I thought I would look pretty in it," Anthony replied. "And I realized I was wrong. So..."

Sage and Aiden looked at each other and played a game of rock-paper-scissors.

Sage lost. He looked at Thea, "Will it be a pretty skirt?" 

Sage settled on a plaid tiered skirt with black lace.

Todd went witha hibiscus blue tiered skirt.

"Nice skirts," Jess said. "Lose a bet?"

"Nice black-eye," replied Sage. "Get punched in the face?"

"Hey, I was complimenting your skirts," Jess replied. "And if you're going to punch me, at least take the skirt off because that'll be far less embarrassing for me."

Thea was barely paying attention, because seeing Sage in a skirt was doing funny things to her.

"I hate being here," Anthony muttered, looking around at all the alcohol. "Too much temptation. I should've stayed indoors."

Jess looked at him, "Just say the word and I'll punch you if you start reaching for a drink."

"Thanks," Anthony said. He paused, "I think."

They made their way to the parking lot. It took a bit to get there, because:

"Nice skirt," a woman said to Sage. "Where did you get it?"

"My girlfriend's wardrobe," Sage replied. The woman seemed confused, and Georgia pushed Sage to get him moving.

Then Anthony paused, staring at something in horror, "Oh my god."

Anthony was looking at a woman getting her picture taken with a middle-aged woman.

Liberty was confused by Anthony's reaction.

The two women finished getting their picture taken, before the younger one, wearing a periwinkle blue cashmere sweater and regular jeans, spotted Anthony, smiled and waved.

Anthony cringed as the woman came over to them. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm not allowed to visit my younger brother?" asked Zoe, seeming confused. "Uncle Lynn got bailed out. Thought I should tell you."

"It's no surprise he got bailed out," Anthony replied.

"And I told you that I was on my way," Zoe replied.

"I thought you sent that to me by accident," Anthony said.

"You have a lot of self-hatred," Zoe pointed out.

"It keeps me warm," Anthony said. "Nice hair. Did you dump your boyfriend?"

Thea looked at Zoe's hair, which was in ringlets. What did Zoe's hair have to do with breaking up with someone?

"Nice dye job," Zoe replied. "Did you shoot up in a restroom before making that decision?"

"You're funny," Anthony said.

"Clowns are funny. I'm fucking hilarious," Zoe replied.

Aiden leaned over Thea's shoulder, pressing a kiss into her neck, "What the hell is happening?"

"Family reunion?" replied Thea, just as equally confused.

Georgia ushered them forward, leaving Zoe and Anthony to catch up or something.

Thea looked at Sage, her mouth suddenly dry and her heart beating fast.

This was a new development.

Apparently it turns her on seeing her boyfriend in a skirt.

Who knew?

"I want you to meet Marty," Rory said.

"Oh, naked guy," Lorelai said, looking at Marty.

"You told your mother about me," Marty replied. He didn't sound happy.

"Um, yeah," Rory replied. "Well, I included some anecdotes where you were actually clothed, too."

Richard asked, "And who is this young man?"

"This is Marty," Rory said. "He lives in my residence hall."

"It's very nice to meet you, Marty," Emily said.

Anthony and Zoe walked up.

"Oh, and this is Anthony's older sister, Zoe," Rory said.

Richard asked Marty, "Why did my daughter just call you 'naked guy'?"

"I now owe you money," Rory said to Marty.

"I, uh, had an unfortunate experience with a keg and a party and need to take my clothes off and fall asleep in a hallway," Marty explained.

Zoe snickered, because that was nothing.

"Oh, my goodness," Emily replied.

"Oh, please, that's nothing," Richard said. "I was naked an entire month my sophomore year."

"What?" asked Rory, horrified.

"Welcome to tonight's episode of Things I Never Needed to Know About My Father," Lorelai said to Anthony, Zoe, and Marty.

"I need to hear this story," Zoe said, grinning evilly.

"I and a group of like-minded young men decided to protest the new dress code by wearing silk ties and nothing else. We were written up by the dean of admissions and threatened with expulsion," Richard said. "We were also suddenly very popular with the ladies."

Zoe instantly doubted that last one.

"Ah, yes," Emily replied flatly. "This is exactly the kind of conversation I had hoped we would have with our granddaughter, her boyfriend, his sister, and her friend."

"One night in the hallway does not a true naked guy make, my friend," Richard said.

"That's nothing unless you're showering with a bunch of other naked men," Zoe said. "I spent a week in jail for throwing a water balloon at a police officer." They looked at her. "I was twenty and didn't know that was considered assaulting a police officer."

Anthony said, "Our younger brother, Blake, kept confessing to assaulting his girlfriend, but it turned out that he just wanted to get away from her. At some point the police officers started noticing that he was the one looking more battered than Juniper. So, at some point they're like 'okay, we're going to put your girlfriend in jail for the night, so you better pack up whatever you need and get the hell out and far away from this chick.' So, that's what Blake did."

"A few months later, some other guy started calling in, admitting to abusing his girlfriend. It was Juniper. The guy also wanted to get away from her," Zoe explained.

"Our mom got arrested for dancing in Japan at night," Anthony added.

"And our Dad got a DWI charge for mowing the lawn on a lawn mower while drunk," Zoe added. "Our cousin, Mackenzie, got arrested for deciding to joyride a bulldozer. She thought it seemed fun."

"Our family's big on getting arrested," Anthony said. Marty had ended up taking off, noticing that he wasn't needed for this conversation.

"What about you?" Emily asked Anthony. "Have you ever been arrested?"

Rory looked horrified and Anthony noticed something, "That's a nice tree." He took off.

Lorelai hummed, "He seems skittish."

Zoe couldn't believe that Anthony hadn't told Emily, Richard, and Lorelai about his past. She could tell them but it wasn't any of her business. 

Richard asked, "Hey, did I see Thea taking off with Sage?" He was pretty sure that he had noticed Thea walking somewhere, leading Sage by the arm.

Zoe had seen how hot and bothered Thea had been looking at seeing Sage. "I'm sure they'll return...eventually." Hopefully both were very satisfied.

Rory went after Anthony and Emily handed Zoe a bloody mary. "You do drink alcohol, right? Considering the car accident that Anthony had been in once."

So, Anthony was just skipping around the drug possession charges then and using the car accident as an excuse. Zoe took the bloody mary and took a drink. "Yeah. I'm fine with alcohol. Blake doesn't drink either, considering his ex-girlfriend was violent when drunk."

"I just wish he would be honest with whatever he's hiding," Lorelai said, watching as Rory and Anthony seemed to bicker about something.

"That's not my place to talk about," Zoe cut in. "Anthony just lost his way for a few years and made some mistakes, but who hasn't? Just don't let that change your view on him, because we're trying to get him back on track."

"Oh, come on, I think you would look nice in a skirt," Thea told Aiden.

"I love you, but I'm not wearing a skirt," Aiden replied.

"Dude, I wore a skirt. In public," Sage said. "All you have to do is wear a skirt in private."

Aiden said, "Nah."

"Wimp," Sage replied.

"I bet I can do more push-ups than you," Aiden said.

"Not with your D in gym," Sage replied.

Thea groaned.