A/N: I skipped the episode where Emily and Richard host that male Yale party for Rory to find a suitable boyfriend instead of dating Dean. I like to think that they think Anthony is a suitable (meaning rich) guy for her to date.

Also, the face-claim to Elowen is Anne Hathaway, the face-claim to Ethan is Andrew-Lee Potts, and the face-claim to Craig is Valter Skarsgård.

Rory was reading a newspaper while Thea tried to read a book and Paris was pacing, before Paris stopped to look over Rory's shoulder.

"Paris, please don't compare our reading speeds again," Rory said. "You're fast, I'm slow, and Thea is somewhere in the middle. Enjoy your trophy."

"I need the exact time of today's sunset," Paris stated.

"I'm in the middle of an article," Rory told her.

"Well, if you read faster, you wouldn't be," Paris replied.

Rory turned the page of the newspaper, "Okay, the time of today's sunset is 4:31."

"Okay," Paris said, "Then I just have to keep my mind occupied until 4:31."

"Paris," Rory started.

"What?" asked Paris.

"Tell me again why you're fasting for Ramadan," Rory replied.

"Look, Rory, if you want to crib your articles from the A.P. Wire, that's your business. I, on the other hand, actually give a rat's ass about journalistic integrity. When I write about Ramadan, I experience Ramadan." Paris asked, "Are you chewing gum?"

Rory seemed confused, "What? Yes. Why?"

"I'd really prefer it if you didn't chew it at me," Paris told her.

"Paris, did you know that not eating can make people kind of snippy?" asked Rory.

"If she wants to fast that's her choice," Thea told Rory. "If you want to be a journalist, sometimes you have to experience some things. Like with that stupid Life & Death Brigade."

Sure, she was dragged into the Brigade, she still didn't know if that made her a part of their secret society or secret club.

"Exactly," Paris replied. "And Ramadan is about a lot more than just not eating. It calls for a total abstinence from food particles passing through the mouth or nose. Your Bazooka is passing through my nose."

There was a knock on the door.

"It's unlocked," Rory said. Marty, carrying two paper bags, walked in and for a moment, Thea could've sworn Rory looked a little disappointed. "Hey, Marty."

Marty explained, "So, I just bartended this crazy brunch with chocolate fountains and floating ice sculptures, and I snagged us all kinds of hors d'oeuvres."

"Oh, nice going, bucko," Paris said.

Marty looked at Paris, "Okay, so, she didn't really mean 'nice going,' right? 'Cause there's sort of a devil-eye thing going on."

"She's fasting for Ramadan," Thea explained to Marty.

Paris explained, "People came to America to escape religious persecution."

Rory's cell phone started ringing, so she went to get her cell phone

Marty said, "Well, what religion is anti-leftovers?" He went to sit down in Rory's spot.

Thea tuned out Rory's conversation with her mother and tried to read the book but only looked up to see that Marty was looking in one of the paper bags, while Paris fanned the air with the newspaper and hitting Marty with it at the same time.

Marty said, "Can't you just plug your nose or something?"

"Sure, ask a billion Muslims to plug their noses," Paris said. "That makes a lot of sense, Marty."

Marty obviously rolled his eyes while rolling up the paper back and dropping it on the coffee table. Rory went to her room.

For some reason, Paris seemed to take her chance and started throwing things at Marty, who ended up grabbing the paper bags and retreating to Rory's room.

And okay, Thea knew that Paris was fasting, but she also wanted the hors d'oeuvres, so she followed Marty.

"Paris is throwing things at me. Religious sanctuary, please," Marty said.

"The butler is not an option," Rory said.

"He is in Clue," Thea said and Marty nodded.

"Thank you, bye," Rory said. She hung up her phone and Marty sat with Rory on the bed. Thea sat at the desk while Marty handed her a paper bag. Rory looked in her own paper bag, "Ooh. What's the bacon wrapped around?"

"Something bacon should never be wrapped around," Marty said.

"Rich people," Rory said.

Thea was confused by that statement. "Rory, your grandparents are rich. Your boyfriend is also rich. I don't think it's fair to criticize rich people when you eat rich people food every Friday night."

T.J. wanted to hang out, so Luke called in his fellow Former Convicts Club members and Jess, and then Jason decided that he needed to talk to Luke, which meant that they were all hanging out in T.J.'s front yard, where a workbench was set up with tools, pipes, a thermos and cups.

For some reason, Luke was cutting a pipe on one side of the work bench.

T.J. waved a tool at Luke and the others, who were lounging on chairs, saying, "You know, we all work pretty good together."

"I guess," Luke replied.

T.J. poured himself some coffee. "No 'guess'. We do. We got, like, a rhythm, a groove thing. We can survive in the woods together, start a new civilization, if need be."

"I'd rather die in the shipwreck than start a new civilization," Anthony said. "I have zero survival instincts. I once dropped a pizza on the floor and still ate it anyway."

Jessie and Elowen looked at each other.

"Maybe Liz could come, except Luke and Jess couldn't share 'cause she's his sister and Jess's mother, and that's a bad way to start a new civilization," T.J. explained.

"I think I'll join Anthony in dying in the shipwreck," Jess stated.

"Count me in on that," Dave stated.

"Me too," Craig added, moving to look at Jessie who had just started braiding his long brown hair.

"Ah, just tack me onto dying in that shipwreck too," Ethan replied.

"How about you and Liz go start a new civilization?" Luke said, "I'll stay here with the sane ones... or just join the others on dying on that shipwreck."

"No, come on, no one's dying in a shipwreck," T.J. urged. "We could solve this." He pointed at Jason, "Okay, Lorelai could come along with Jessie and Elowen. And now them – all of us could share her."

"I have never been grateful to not be able to have children in my life," Jessie said. "And if I could, I refuse to be a baby making machine for you, T.J.."

"I won't die in the shipwreck," Elowen said. "I just never got on the damn thing in the first place."

"Can we get away from this new civilization talk?" asked Jason, clearly looking slightly uncomfortable.

"You and I both," Elowen said. "I want no part of this new civilization talk."

"Okay by me," T.J. said.

Jason said, "This is a weird question, but do any of you consider yourselves to be jealous?"

"Why?" T.J. asked, "Are you planning on drinking coffee on another man's lawn tomorrow?"

"Forget it. It was stupid to ask," Jason said.

"Sounds like my dad acting like he caught me fishing with another dad," Anthony said. "Hopefully that make-believe dad doesn't catch another family's campsite on fire because he wanted to get rid of the fishing competition at the lake."

Jess asked, "Your dad set fire to another family's campsite?"

"He got into this one-sided competition with this other family over fishing and he decided that to distract them, he'll set fire to their tent, and it spread," Anthony explained.

"Okay, back to the question thing, it's not a stupid thing to ask, Jason," Elowen said. "I trust my husband a lot."

"I don't consider myself a jealous man." T.J. explained, "I don't and let me tell you why. Jealousy is bad. Jealousy is what landed me in jail...twice. I learned quickly that without an immediate influx of cash, I could no longer afford to be a jealous man. Supply and demand, my friend."

"Never saw anything good come out of a relationship due to jealousy. My brother got that scar because she thought he looked at another woman," Anthony said. "And my mom ended up having to kill her ex in self-defense because he broke into the house and broke her orbital socket."

"Had to run to a new state to get away from a clingy, jealous man," Jessie said, "Not worth it."

"Hit an ex with my car because he thought I wasn't going to," Elowen said. Everyone looked at her and she laughed, "I didn't mean to say that out loud."

T.J. nodded his approval, "I didn't know you were such a babe, Winnie."

"I did sixteen years in the slammer, I can handle twenty more," Elowen warned him.

Jason asked, "So, let's just say, if Liz had lunch with an ex, it shouldn't be a big deal, then?"

"Right," T.J. said.

"I wouldn't care if Rory were to have lunch with an ex," Anthony said. "If it was Dean, I would have a bit of a problem."

"But if she did have lunch with the ex that happened a long time ago, ancient history, and she didn't tell you about it at the time, but eventually she did tell you, you should just let it go, right?" Jason said, "I mean, you don't really want to read to deeply about it and just assume the worst?"

"I mean, she did mention it afterwards, even if it was few days later, probably not," Anthony said. "Although if she kept doing it and hiding it like Richard did with his forty yearlong lunch mistress, I would have way more of a problem."

"I wouldn't exactly be happy if Lane had lunch with her ex, but if it was just a one-time thing, I think I'll be fine with it," Dave said.

"My ex can rest in piss," Ethan chimed in. "I don't care."

T.J. angrily demanded, "Who the hell is Liz having lunch with?"

"What? What?" Luke said, "No one."

T.J. said, "Jason just said she had lunch with an ex!"

"It was just an example, calm down," Jess told T.J.

"Was it Art?" asked T.J.

"Art the Clown?" asked Anthony.

Jess asked, "Who the hell is Art the Clown?"

Anthony just shrugged, "I don't know."

T.J. started ranting as he grabbed a pipe, "I swear to god, if it's Art, I'm going to – I told him never to come sniffing around her again!" He took off.

"Hey, T.J.!" Luke called after him, "Hey, it wasn't Art!"

"Quick question," Anthony started. "Is he part of the Former Convicts Club?"

"No," Luke said quickly.

The others chimed in with their own 'no' and a shake of their head.

"We're all hot here, so we don't need that man bringing our attractive rating down just by him hanging around us," Jessie added. "We're like a solid nine, but with him around, he drags us down to a six."

While Thea and her friends did try to keep Paris's mind off of food, or trying to distract her from it, Paris ended up breaking her fast by ordering a lot of takeout food, like Chinese food and pizza.

So, to show her appreciation of trying to help, Paris invited Thea, Sage, Aiden, Georgia, Liberty, Todd, Madeline, and Louise to join her in eating.

Anthony was invited, but Luke had asked him to help with something so Anthony had to decline Paris's invite. Thea had been confused over Luke needing Anthony's help, because what did Luke need Anthony's help with?

She couldn't exactly dwell on that question for so long because Paris handed her a carton of Chinese food.

"Oh, I forgot to mention but Jackson ended up resigning as town selectman," Sage said.

"Jackson ended up resigning as town selectman," Sage said.

"He didn't want the position to begin with," Aiden told him. "They didn't want Taylor anymore."

"Yeah, but also like most politicians, he stopped doing his job because he didn't find it fun anymore," Sage said.

"Hey, come on, don't compare your stepdad to politicians," Georgia told Sage. "At least Jackson has a heart."

Sage threw some salad croutons at her and realized his mistake, "Oh, god, I take it back."

Louise and Madeline seemed confused by that, until Georgia ended up dumping some noodles on Sage's head as revenge.

Todd started saying, "You're lucky—"

"I know, Todd," Sage replied. "I don't need you pointing out my mistakes. I'm capable of realizing my screw-ups."

Rory came out of her room and grabbed her textbooks from the coffee table.

"Breaking your fast by having a party?" asked Rory, looking at all the guests.

Paris spoke with her mouth full, "Oh my god, I love food and I especially love eating food with friends. You want some?"

"I'm good," Rory said as there was a knock on the door.

"It's for me, it's for me," Paris said, getting up to her feet and shoving Rory out of her way to get to the door. Rory fell into the sofa, right onto Todd's lap.

"Geez," Rory muttered.

"Pizza," a man said as Paris opened the door.

"Yes, yes," Paris replied.

"$34.95," the pizza delivery man said.

Todd pushed Rory off his lap. Rory went to the door and asked Paris, "Need some money?"

"Oh, I got it," Paris said, handing over the money. "Do you want to have some? There's plenty." She took the three pizza boxes.

"No, thanks," Rory said. "I'm going to Marty's."

"Okay," Paris said, going to the coffee table and setting the pizza boxes down. She opened the first box and grabbed a slice of pizza. "Well, where's the cheesy bread? I ordered the cheesy bread." Paris got up and went for the door, with Georgia following.

"That man better get to hauling ass," Thea said.

"It'll either be his worst nightmare or a dream come true," Todd said.

"Worst nightmare when it comes down to the two of them," Sage muttered, pulling noodles from his head.

"I doubt that Georgia would scream at the man for a mistake," Thea said. "Paris on the other hand would need someone to hold her back from going for the throat."

Georgia opened the door and Paris held up a box, "We got the cheesy bread."

"And free dipping sauces for the mistake," Georgia added. "No double-dipping."

"You guys eat food off each other's plates," Louise added, and Madeline nodded.

Liberty waved it off, "That's different."

Madeline started, "How's—"

"So, who wants marinara sauce?" interrupted Paris.

Thea asked, "Is there garlic sauce?"

"Yes," Paris replied.

Georgia handed the sauce to Thea.