A/N: I had no clue what to put as the chapter title.  So here we are.

Jackson was running for town selectman, and Thea was honestly curious to see how he would do.

Oh, there was no doubt that Jackson would win, considering how diabolical Taylor was.

And for some reason, Fleming gifted Paris a three-hundred-pound printing press, which Paris parked in the common room.

At breakfast, Anthony said, "So, my sixteen-year-old twin cousins just been arrested."

"Color me shocked," Todd muttered.

"I don't want to know, but yet I kind of do," Paris replied.

Anthony started, "Okay, Maverick—"

"Your cousin's name is Maverick?" asked Georgia.

"Their parents wanted to call them the M&M Twins," Anthony replied. "Everyone tried to talk them out of it, especially Maverick. She goes by Rikki."

"Like Ricki Lake?" asked Liberty.

"No, Rikki as in Rikki Rockett from Poison," Anthony said.

"That's unfortunate," Todd replied.

"Yeah," Anthony replied. "So, Maverick got arrested for illegally owning alligator with intent to sell."

"Makes sense," Paris replied.

"She made at least five thousand dollars, so she sold some," Anthony replied. "She only got arrested because someone snitched."

"What did her sister do to get arrested?" asked Aiden.

"Stole four million dollars of bread," Anthony said. "Mackenzie got like nine other teens to help her steal like Wonder Bread and Bimbo trucks and proceeded to clear them out of bread. The police found the bread trucks empty."

"Oh my god," Rory said.

Sage asked, "What did they do with all that bread?"

"Not a clue," Anthony replied. "They couldn't have eaten all that bread. None of them are saying what they did with that bread."

Thea asked, "How did all of them get Class A licenses?"

"Some were eighteen, which is legal to have in Florida," Anthony replied.

"Oh," replied Thea.

Anthony said, "Yeah, I'm still embarrassing to the family, even though there's Bread Thief Mackenzie, Alligator Dealer Rikki, and Grave Robbing Uncle Lynn."

Paris asked, "If your family has nicknames based off their crimes, what is your nickname?"

"Drug Addict Anthony," Anthony said.

Paris grimaced, "Oh, that is messed up."

"We got Water Balloon Thrower Zoe and Blake is Blake, because Woman Beater Blake is crossing a line considering he was the one who was getting abused, but Drug Addict Anthony certainly isn't," Anthony added.

"I need you to come home," Lorelai replied.

"Now?" asked Rory.

"No, Tuesday," Lorelai replied.

"Oh, that's right, it's the town selectman elections," Rory replied.

"And Lane's band is playing, and I'll give you a button," added Lorelai.

"I'll be there," Rory replied.

"Really?" asked Lorelai.

"You know I'm a sucker for a good button," Rory said. "And I do want Jackson to win and be there for Lane's band."

"Thanks, kid," Lorelai replied.

Rory said, "Tell Jackson I'm rooting for him."

"I will," Lorelai said. "Um, so, how's school?"

"So far, so good," replied Rory.

Lorelai asked, "And how's Paris?"

Rory explained, "Asher left her a three-hundred-pound antique printing press, which she put in the common room."

Lorelai said, "So, same?"

"Exactly," replied Rory.

"Great. Okay." Lorelai asked, "And, um...how's Anthony?"

"Still the family disappointment behind Bread Thief Mackenzie and Alligator Dealer Rikki," Rory said.

"I so don't want to know, but somehow I do," replied Lorelai.

When it was time for the rally, they gathered around the stage, where Lane was with her band.

"Hey, Lane," Sage called to Lane.

Lane came over to them. She smiled, "Glad you could make it."

"I like your pink streaks," Aiden said, pointing at the side of Lane's head. "Really makes you rock and roll."

Lane just smiled, "Thanks. They're fake though."

"Yeah, not after that whole Purple Hair Incident," Thea replied. "Does Dave know about that?"

Dave heard his name and turned, "Do I know what?"

Lane looked at him, "I'll tell you, later."

Rory came through, "Lane."

Lane looked at her, "You're here."

"Hey, I'm one of your groupies," Rory said. "But don't get any ideas. I'm saving experimentation for my junior year."

Georgia was confused, "You expect to be broken up by the time you hit junior year?"

Liberty joked, "Does Anthony know about this?"

"That was a joke," Rory replied. "Besides, I know Anthony kissed some guys before in his early twenties."

"Nothing about that man should surprise me, but yet somehow, he still manages to find a way to surprise me, even though he's not here," Paris said.

Lane asked Rory, "Yeah, where is he?"

"He was made designated driver to his other friends who went to hit up a bar," Rory said. "And he doesn't live in my butt. I don't need him to be around me twenty-four seven." She added, "If you need us to stage-dive, give us a signal."

"You got it," Lane replied as Sookie walked onto the stage.

Sookie spoke into the microphone, "Hello, Stars Hollow!" The audience said it back, "Okay, so the man of the hour, Jackson Belleville—" There were cheers and applause, "Oh. That's nice. Okay. Well, he's getting ready to come out here and talk to you, but before he does, I wanted to take the opportunity to say thanks—"There was cheering, "Wow. Again, wow. Okay, so thanks for all of the support and the nice thoughts. This is a great place to live, and I wouldn't want to live anyplace else the world! And now let's get this party started. I've got a real treat for you tonight. Right here, live onstage, playing one of Jackson's favorite songs of all time, put your hands together, and let's build the roof for Hep Alien!"

The band started playing and Thea tried to imagine if she heard worse – or better.

After the song finished, Sookie got onstage.

"Well, that was peppy," Sookie said. "All right, ladies and gentlemen, what you've all been waiting for – the man of the hour, the next town selectman of Stars Hollow: Jackson Belleville."

They cheered as Jackson walked onto the stage. He went up to Sookie and kissed her.

Some people laughed as soon as they finished kissing.

Jackson said, "Well, jeez. That was, uh... quite a welcome. Uh, thank you all for coming and supporting me in this – thing here. As I stand on this stage, looking at you all, I can't help but think, 'I have a job. I have a life.' I don't have time to be selectman. I have business, I have two kids. Well, one is my stepson, but I still claim him as my own, and he's in college. And Sookie and I are trying to have another one." Sage made a weird face at knowing that. "And the doctor has us on this schedule, and it's not flexible. And – what was I thinking? What the hell am I doing here? I don't want to be selectman."

"Well, at least you're being honest," Sage said.

"Finally!" a man shouted.

"Yay!" a woman shouted.

They started cheering and a woman shouted, "We're behind you all the way, Jackson!"

The audience started chanting, "Jackson! Jackson! Jackson! Jackson! Jackson! Jackson! Jackson! Jackson! Jackson! Jackson! Jackson! Jackson! Jackson! Jackson!"

Sookie raised Jackson's hand in victory and joined in on the chanting.

They waited for the results to be counted, which shouldn't have taken that long, considering it was a small town and all.

Thea did notice Dean talking to Rory, so Thea narrowed her eyes at Dean, because what the hell was this man playing at?

Miss Patty got onstage, "Everybody, may I have your attention? The results are in. Jackson, come on out here."

"No," replied Jackson from somewhere behind the curtain.

Sookie went behind the curtain and pulled Jackson onstage.

Miss Patty started reading from a small card, "Okay. The votes for town selectman are as follows – 1,114 for Jackson Belleville. 10 for Taylor Doose." There was applause, "Well, we have a new town selectman, ladies and gentlemen!" Jackson took the card from Miss Patty and stared at in disbelief, "Jackson, would you like to say a few words to your constituency?"

"No," Jackson replied.

Miss Patty took the card back as a voice from the crowd called out, "I would."

It was Taylor.

The crowd started murmuring as Taylor got onstage and shook hands with Jackson. 

Taylor turned to speak into the microphone, "Friends and townspeople... today in Stars Hollow, democracy has spoken. The will of the people has prevailed, and new leadership has been instated. Your vote has counted. Free elections are a wonderful thing, a thing to be admired and cherished. Here in America, we have something else that is to be admired and cherished. It's called a recall election." 

The crowd murmured and Taylor continued, "I look forward to this other aspect of democracy, which I believe will happen any day now, when sanity and reason have been restored to Stars Hollow. So, in closing, friends, believe me when I tell you, you will have Taylor Doose to kick around again. Thank you, and God bless." He waved to the crowd, looking around for a moment, before leaving the stage.

"I would happily stab that man in the eye," Sage told Thea and Aiden. "I would smile while at it."

Apparently, Dean kept asking what Rory's plans were and when she told him that she and Anthony were supposed to be going on a triple date with Jessie and Luke and Jason and Lorelai. So, Dean was tagging along.

"So, what's on the agenda?" asked Rory.

"We grab some takeout then hit the Black, White, and Read movie theater," Lorelai said.

"Cool," Dean said.

"I miss that place," Rory said. "It's been forever."

Lorelai said, "They're playing a great movie tonight. Cool Hand Luke."

"Not too shabby," Luke said.

"What fun," Anthony replied, remembering his time in a Florida jail.

Lorelai cringed, "Oh, I'm sorry. Should we do this on a different night for a different movie?"

"No, it's fine," Anthony replied.

"Okay, let's go get the food," Rory said.

Dean looked over his shoulder, "Well, good timing. No line at Jojo's."

"That place has no line," Anthony said.

"Let's just get the stuff at my place," Luke said.

"Why?" asked Lorelai.

"Because Jojo's food is a step up from jail food," Jessie stated.

Anthony nodded, "Definitely an improvement."

"I have no leg to stand on in the jail food conversation," Jason said, when Anthony and Jessie looked at him.

"Yeah, same kind of food but better," Luke stated. "You're not served...better than jail food." He gave Anthony and Jessie a strange look at that.

"Yours is way better," Rory agreed.

Lorelai grinned, "That's why we're going to Jojo's."

Luke seemed confused, "What?"

"Allow me," Dean started.

"Take it," Lorelai said.

"We always do Jojo's on B.W.R. Nights," Dean stated.

"That's short for Black, White, and Read movie theater," Lorelai explained, "That's our little nickname."

"I'm following it," Luke grumbled.

"Because your stuff is good and has to be eaten pretty quickly," Dean explained, "If it sits around, it starts to suck."

"That's true of all food," Luke replied.

"Ah," Dean said, "But not Jojo's. Jojo's sucks to begin with, so it's no worse when eat it later."

Rory said, "It's a relativity thing. Einstein and whatnot."

Lorelai explained, "The secret is Jojo's chili." She motioned with her hands, "The chili acts as a seal."

"Jojo's burgers could travel to China and they'd still be just as good," Rory replied.

"Because they start off bad," Dean replied.

"Get it?" asked Lorelai.

"No," replied Jessie.

"Not really," Luke replied.

"Good, then let's go," Lorelai said. "Plus, Jojo's is cheaper."

"Because it's so bad that if I gave it to my cats, I would be arrested for animal cruelty," Anthony replied. He glowered, "Still pissed that my dad took Meatball from me."

"My dad refused to let me take my dog with me when I moved like three towns over," Jessie told Anthony. "He still has my dog that he said he didn't want."

"Jojo is going to be so excited to be making a sale," Rory said.

"Let's sit," Rory said.

They moved to the front of the room.

"Yes, yes," Lorelai said. "Ooh, let's take Big Red." She gestured to the couch.

"Yes, Big Red," Rory replied.

Dean helpfully pointed out, "That's the name for the couch."

"And here I was thinking, 'Are they talking about the gum or the soda,'" Anthony said sarcastically.

"And I kind of caught onto that," Luke added.

"And it's the only red thing in here," Jason said.

"I loved Big Red gum when I was in high school," Jessie said. "My nickname was Big Red. Once a guy gave me a packet of Big Red and I gave him a blow job in the restroom." They gave her strange looks. "My standards were that low. And for the rest of the year, I was called Bathroom Bandit."

Rory sat down on the couch, with Lorelai sitting next to her. Dean went to sit next to Rory, but Anthony beat him to it, leaving Jason to sit on the other end of the couch.

Luke and Jessie pulled up seats next to the couch.

Dean ended up sitting in a seat right behind Anthony and Rory.

"Cool, we have a short feature to start," Lorelai said, "The Katzenjammer kids try to sit on the couch."

"Whoa," Rory said. "I love the emptiness."

"Ah, means we can talk during the movie," Lorelai stated.

"That never stopped you," Anthony told her.

"Yeah, but we don't have to hesitate ever so slightly," Lorelai told her.

"Food, food," Rory replied.

The guys opened their paper bags to hand over the food. Anthony didn't blame Jason and Luke for looking a bit disgusted.

"Still a step from jail food," Jessie said.

"Once I got a sandwich that looked like it had mold and hair on it," Anthony said. "I found myself thinking, 'it looks like my grandmother.'"

Rory and Lorelai cracked up.

Kirk came over to the front of the room and started speaking like there was a larger audience, "Hello, everybody and welcome to the Black, White, and Read Theater. How are we all doing tonight?"

"Um, good, Kirk," Lorelai replied. "How are you?"

"Good, I'm Kirk," Kirk replied. "I'm very proud to announce that tonight's feature presentation is the classic Cool Hand Luke." Rory and Lorelai cheered, "But I'm deeply sorry to report that the first reel of the movie inexplicably caught fire earlier this evening."

"Oh, no," Rory said.

"That's what happens when Richard Pryor is your projectionist," Lorelai replied.

Kirk explained, "I can still show you the film, but you'd miss the first twenty-five minutes. I'd be happy to recap what you'd miss or even act it out for you. I must say, I do a wicked George Kennedy."

Rory asked, "What do you think?"

"First twenty-five minutes are pretty important," Luke explained.

"I agree," Dean said.

"Watching Kirk reenact it would be funny," Anthony said.

"Actually, it'll be pretty disturbing," Lorelai said. "He totally ruined Last Tango in Paris for me."

"I felt that Maria Schnieder's acting in the butter scene was way to real to have been acted, so I never finished the movie," Anthony said.

Rory asked, "What are our options in place of Cool Hand, Kirk?"

"I can offer you anything from the theater's library of films," Kirk replied.

"What have you got?" asked Lorelai.

"A series of graphically violent driver's education films or the Adventures of Pippi Longstocking," said Kirk.

"Pippi!" squealed Rory.

"Yay! Pippi!" Lorelai and Rory said.

"'Annika, it's Pippi,'" Lorelai said.

"Pippi Longstocking it is," Kirk said. "Enjoy your film." He walked away.

Lorelai asked Rory, "How long has it been since we've seen Pippi Longstocking?"

Rory said, "Too long."

"That's gotta be one of our most watching films ever," Lorelai said.

"Oh, it's up there," Rory said.

"I've seen it at least three times with you two," Dean said to Lorelai and Rory.

"I've seen it five times and all those times my housemates and I were all high," Anthony replied.

Lorelai told him, "I bet that was a trip."

"It kind of was," admitted Anthony.

"My sister, Cassidy, was a huge fan of Pippi Longstocking," Jessie said.

"Isn't it some kind of kids movie?" asked Luke, eating a fry.

"Wait a minute," Lorelai said. "Have you never seen this movie?"

"Never," Luke replied.

"I haven't either," Jason admitted.

Lorelai looked at Rory, "We got us two Pippi virgins."

"That sounds gross," Anthony muttered.

"I didn't think there were any left," Rory said.

"And it's not a kids' movie," Lorelai said to Luke.

"It's a classic of surrealism," Rory added.

"And bizarre cinematography," Lorelai continued.

"And atonal singing," Rory continued saying.

"And forced acting," Lorelai finished.

The room darkened and the movie started playing. Lorelai and Rory started singing along with the opening theme song.

Luke asked, "What happened to her hair?"

"She's between stylists now," Lorelai joked. "It's very awkward."

"Unbelievable," Luke muttered.

Anthony and Rory snuggled closer together, then Dean proceeded to shove his hand between them to take some fries.

Although later in the movie, they got popcorn and drinks, then Lorelai handed the popcorn to Anthony, saying, "Hit me up," to make him dump half of his M&Ms in the popcorn.

Once, at a movie night with Lorelai and Rory, Lorelai had seen him pouring M&Ms in the popcorn, and asked, "What are you doing?" and when she tried the mixture, she couldn't believe she never thought of it before. She called Anthony a 'Snack Genius', even though it was something his former housemates used to do.

Jessie watched them, "Oh, I used to mix my popcorn with marshmallows. I called it Popcorn Salad."

Lorelai said, "Next time I'll do that."

After the movie, they headed back to Lorelai's house, when they walked in, Luke asked, "Did she own that house she lived in before she rode the horse into town, or did she buy it with her gold coins?"

"That's a good question," Rory said.

"Oh, yeah, I see a prequel in the works," Lorelai said. "The Adventures of Pippi in Escrow."

"I'd go see it," Dean said.

"Actually, her dad owned Villa Villekulla, and Pippi inherited it and the gold coins when her dad got 'lost' at sea," Jessie explained. "It's said in the books."

"I really need to read the books now," Luke said.

"So, beverages," Lorelai said. "Shout 'em out."

"Water," Rory said.

"Same here," Anthony said.

"Beer," Luke said.

"Make that two," Jason said.

"Make that three," Jessie added.

"Yeah, beer sounds good," Dean said. He gave Anthony a look, like, 'I'm manlier than you because I drink beer.'

Luke chuckled, while Anthony, Jason, and Jessie looked at Dean.

Luke said, "Oh, you're serious. You want a beer?"

"Yeah," Dean replied.

Jessie snickered.

"Yeah, okay," Luke said. "Bring him a beer. He's not driving..." He muttered under his breath, "Or twenty-one."

"No, go right ahead," Jessie said, "Have a beer if you want one. I'm sure it's fine. Everyone underage drinks all the time. I used to, so much that I went to the hospital with alcohol poisoning. That's what I get for trying to outdrink my grandmother."

"So did I," Anthony replied. "I was trying to outdrink my housemate, Kelly, but she kicked my ass. And she laughed about it too."

"Hey, you finally used a name instead of referring to them as housemates," Rory stated.

Jason spoke to Dean, "You're tall, so that must make up for the underage drinking thing."

"Fine," Dean replied. "I won't have a beer."

"You can have one," Luke added.

"I don't want one anymore," Dean replied.

"Can I substitute something for you?" asked Lorelai.

"Water, I guess," Dean said.

"Put some barley and hops in it, buddy," Luke added. "No one's judging here."

"I kind of am," Jessie said, holding up her hand.

Dean spoke firmly, "Water."

"We have good water here," Rory spoke to Lorelai, "right Mom?"

Lorelai spoke quickly, "Oh, yeah – and I'll bring out a couple of extra beers, and those of us who want can grab them as need be. Just keep an eye on Rory, or she'll grab them all for herself."

"I'll try to refrain," Rory said. "Need help?"

"No, you stay, entertain," Lorelai told Rory. She grabbed Dean's arm, "Thanks for volunteering, Dean. We'll be right back." She dragged him into the kitchen.

When they were in the kitchen, Dean asked, "Want me to change the water cooler for you?"

"No, thanks," Lorelai said. "Anthony did that before we left."

"Of course he did," Dean muttered.

"Of course he did, because Rory's dating him, not you," Lorelai pointed out. "What are you doing here, Dean?"

"You're the one who dragged me in here," Dean countered.

"True, but I meant on the triple-date," Lorelai said. "Why are you here?"

"Rory invited me," Dean replied.

Lorelai made a mock thinking face, "Hmm. 'I'll invite my ex onto a date with my current boyfriend.' Yeah, sounds like Rory to me."

"Hey, it's the truth," Dean said.

"I told you to move on," Lorelai replied. "Why are you still hanging around?"

"You don't like Anthony either," Dean pointed out. Lorelai made a face and Dean scoffed, "Seriously? You like that junkie?"

"I got pregnant at sixteen, Dean," Lorelai said. "Are you going to hold that against me, like my parents?"

"Those are two different things," Dean replied.

"Yes, you are right, Dean," Lorelai said. "But I can't toss my daughter out of my life when I decide to overcome being a teen mother. I can't go, 'oh, she used to be my daughter but she's not anymore because I decided not to be a mom', versus, 'I decided to get clean because I don't want to be addicted to drugs anymore'."

"Still two different things," Dean said.

"Yeah, well, if you want to hold Anthony's mistakes over his head, you better start holding everyone else's mistakes over our heads too, so you better start calling me 'Preggers,'" Lorelai said. "Better yet, start calling Jessie 'Bathroom Bandit' too. See where that gets you."

"You're just blinded to the truth that Anthony wants what's between Rory's legs," Dean said.

"At this point, I think you want what's between Rory's legs," Lorelai replied. Dean made a face and Lorelai thought that it probably would've been kinder if she had punched Dean in the crotch.

"He's old," Dean tried.

"I think you need to sit down and think about what's creepier; the age difference, the fact that you kissed Rory without her permission in front of her boyfriend, or the fact that you still harbor feelings for a girl that you broke up with in high school two years ago," Lorelai said. "Personally, I think you're the creep that you're trying to paint Anthony as."

Dean stayed quiet.

"Move on, Dean," Lorelai said, getting some drinks. "She clearly doesn't love you anymore."