THE CHINITO

After 6 years

First year College na ako dito sa Lumiere College and of course, legal age na rin ako. Masaya ako na narating ko ang ganitong buhay. ’Yong macha-challenge ka dahil maraming mga activities which regards to communication. Nagiging extrovert na rin ako dulot ng pakikipagkomunikasyon sa iba’t ibang grade level. Maganda pala kapag talkative and friendly ka diba. I am Vice Mayor in our section. Tapos si George Kindred din ’yong President. Ang friendly ng mga tao sa college kaso nga lang, hindi kana maka jokes kasi lahat ay parang naka serious mode e. Unlike High School, marami kang maaasar, pero never ko itong ginagawa when I was Junior High. Introvert talaga ako no’n and when I remember what Mark’s doing to me everytime we meet, I wish , na nangyari iyon ngayong college na ako, char. People change nga naman. Pero kumusta na kaya siya?

“Hoy Miah! Putik, kanina pa kita hinahanap nandito ka pala sa roof top nag-iimagine ng kung anu-ano. Kanina ka pa tulala. Tinawag ka ni President!” Wika ni Julia—Kalihim namin sa room. Wow. Agad naman akong bumaba. Pinutol pa naman ang pag-iisip ko kay Mark. Kinukumusta ko lang naman sa isipan ang first person na nagpaiyak sa akin e. Hindi sa love, pero sa bully. Kung makita ko siya ulit, uupakan ko talaga.

Nang makarating na kami sa Meeting area, nando’n nga naman ang chinito naming Mayor nag-aabang.

“Kanina pa kita hinahanap, sa’n ka ba galing? Are you meeting for someone?”

“Nah! Wala akong someone ha? Tsaka do’n lang ako sa rooftop. Overthink lang iyan. Ano ba pag-uusapan natin ha?” Mataray kong usal. Grabe naman, kapag nagagalit itong Mayor namin, naniningkit yaong mga mata. Half-Korean nga naman.

“There is a competition. Gaganapin siya sa isang sikat din na Paaralan. Casimere University ata ’yon.”

Napa-overthink ako when the Chinito mentioned the Casimere University. I hated someone here.

“Bakit doon? Tapos, ano ang gagawin ko?” My brows furrowed. Ayaw ko nang bumalik doon.

“I know you  Miah. Top 1 ka sa klase natin and I want you to be our representative.  Mag speech ka lang naman eh based on your experiences when you were High School.” Bakit ba ako? Marami namang iba e. Aangal sana ako pero...baka tanggalin ako sa honor list kaya let’s grab the opportunity nalang.

“Fine. Basta nando’n ka Chinito ha?” Nangunot ang noo niya sa tinuran ko. Well, nickname ko na sa kaniya ang chinito.

“Sure. Galingan mo ha?!” He said. I nodded and gave him a beautiful smile.

  “Sama kami. Cheer lang kami sa’yo ha!” dagdag pa ng mga officers.

I rehearsing every night. Always akong nagpa-practice sa gesture, pronunciation of words and how to deliver my speech efficiently.

After akong magpractice, I opened my phone when Mayor is texting.

“Goodluck, Jeremiah. 2nd year College mga kalaban mo do’n. Kaya mo ’yan, trust to yourself. Take care!”  Wow, nakaka-inspired itong Mayor namin. Supportive na, caring pa.

So ayon, I pick a theme about Love and why it is important to apply in our lives.
Dumating na ’yong araw ng laban namin, we, officers are preparing to arrived. I wear red dress and put some make up to my face.

Habang nagba-byahe kami, Chinito touched my face.

“You shine so bright. Miah!”  He stated. My heart beat so fast. I never heard this words before.

“Salamat, Mayor. ”

He stares at me. I just smirked and rehearsing. Kinabahan ako ngunit, lumalaban parin.

Finally, nakarating na rin kami. We rest for awhile at pumasok na sa Campus. The garden where I often rested becomes more beautiful. May college na nakaabang sa gate tapos nakatambay sa tabi ng daan. Umakbay sa akin si Chinito siyempre, he will be with me along with my journey. Supportive Mayor in our classroom is always present pagdating sa ganito.

“Is that you Miah! You looks like goddess huh?” I  was shocked when Layla still know me.

“Hey! How are you? I am glad that you still remember me. Anyways, I am the representative of our school.”  I explained. I can’t measure how happy I am after meeting Layla again. I hugged her tight. Chinito hold me and asked to go in the Court. I wave to her. My former classmates smiled at me.

“Wow!”A compliment. “Bagay sila. Koreano ba iyan?” I looked at Mayor. He smiled tapos hindi pa binitawan ang aking kamay na kanina pa niya hinawakan ng napakahigpit.

“This is mine as always. ” wika pa niya. Loko ’to. Nagbibiro lang siya e.

Agad kaming tumungo sa court and yes, grabe na ’yong kaba ko dahil maya-maya, magsisimula na. The court is well-decorated, and organized kaya hindi ka ma-stress sa paligid. Nando’n na rin ang taga ibang School. Because of this, I wonder kung sino kaya ang representative ng Casimere University? Magagaling mga tao rito e.

After a while, the EMCEE announces and compile us in the covered court. She also calling all the attention of participants and students to witness the competition.

“Hoy Kindred! Tulala ka ah? Kanina pa kita napansin na malayo ang tingin mo.” wika ko kay Chinito. He turned his gazed to me.

“W-wala n-naman, mag ensayo kana, ” he stuttered. Grabeng Chinito ito, ang cute ngumiti.

After a while, nagsisimula na. Sinabayan na ako ni chinito sa podium upang bumunot ng number and thankful ako kasi I had picked number 5 which is the last number. Number 1 naman ang nabunot ng Casimere University and there was a goosebumps after I know that their representative is the person who bullies me when I was studying here. He becomes more handsome and attractive lalo na ’yong the way he pronounced the words. Hindi ko lang masyadong marinig ’yong message ng speech niya dahil medyo maingay sa likuran namin. Chinito tapped my back and it seems all of the students looking at us. They staring between me and Chinito. Pogi naman talaga si George Kindred. Swerte ng maging asawa nito.

As I didn’t expect that, sa sobrang pag-imagine ko kay Chinito,  I’ll be the next to speech na pala.

“Kaya mo iyan,” Chinito whisper. I know na kaya ko. Pero what if nasa stage na ako? Then, holding a microphone tapos manginginig.

“Next...” EMCEE announces. Agad akong tumayo at pumunta sa harapan. My fright began but I just makes myself brave. Kaya ko ’to. I took a glimpse at the audience, especially to the judges. They looked at me seriously which makes my nerves trembling. All of the students seems looking at me and someone is talking which emphasizes something.

And I started.

“To our judges, teachers, guests, visitors and students, Good Morning to all of us! Today, I stand before to emphasize why love is important than hate.

But before that, how can you define love? Four letters but it is full of meanings. It all depends on what is being felt, what was experience and what was the result of it. They say, it is one of the best feeling that we can feel—to love and be loved. Love has no choice. There is no time, no season, no age, no opportunity and no state involved as long you fall in love, no what ifs and no buts. Love is the most powerful weapon that we can use. It may alter the situation you have face once  it ignites. No matter how angry  and strong-hearted you are when you found out the situation of the person you often hate, your heart will be replaced by love. Yes, and because of love, we lessen our burdens in the deepest of our heart. So that, why love is powerful than hate?” I paused. Took a glimpse at the audience as well as the juries. Then, I continued.

“Firstly, love can keep you away from wrong path. Once you choose to love someone, your life will be filled of inspiration. It is maybe took a long time, but, it is worth fighting for. Amidst of the challenges I had experienced in my previous life, I was once bullied many times. Someone hurt me without any reason such as pulling my hair, badmouthing and many more. I was once also called “dump” but I buried those word in my mind so that if I will become successful soon, I will cultivate those words to show them that I am not dump but, worth it. Sometimes, because we often heard negative comments from others, anger will grow if you just let it. So, we need to become strong and makes those words as you armor. Just always choose to love and do not take revenge.

Secondly, love  is not bias. Love can be found everywhere. It does not choose whatever your position in life whether you are reach or poor. It just like rose, when it will bloom, everyone will admire it. ”I caught Mark staring at me and I looked at him intensely. I smiled and showed him that I am not weak as what he thinks before. I’ll prove this to him.

In addition,  But what exactly is LOVE? Others say love is like snow.  It is cold and painful. Perhaps the people who say this are those who have had bad experiences in love.  People who have been hurt countless times.

Others compare love to a plant.  It takes extra care, giving enough attention and dedication. In fact, it's true.  In love, you need to take enough time to get to know and understand each other better. Enough time to show care and concern.  But unfortunately sometimes no matter how much care and time is given, there are hearts that lose touch.  It gradually cools, withers and dies.

Others liken love to a rose.  Colorful, fragrant but spiky.  These are the people who experienced their love life to be colorful and happy. Happy and full of good memories.  At the same time, there are periodic trials and obstacles in their love.  It's natural to have little thorns in our relationship. The important thing is that we overcome it .

Another of my memorable love comparisons is comparing it to a clock.  Round and round it goes but back to where it all started. Consumable but replaceable.  Like the hands of a clock.  It starts at twelve and ends at twelve.

With so many meanings of the word love, I no longer know what is right or wrong.  Maybe it's all based on the experience of a person who falls in love and falls out of love. Some may be happy with the love they experience while others are unlucky and currently swimming in the vast ocean sadness and loss.

If I am asked what is love?  I really don't know either.

The heart is very complex as well as the mind.  Sometimes what is right in the mind is wrong in the heart and what  is wrong in the heart is right in the mind.

There is even a chance that the heart will spontaneously beat for that unexpected person.  To the person you don't like but your heart beats for him or her. You can't deny nor cheat the feeling.

No matter how many times you deny and hate it at the end, the same thing is being felt. After all, it's fun to think that your heart is betraying you but there's nothing you can do about it.  You will be really submissive.  There is nothing you can do. That's how good the heart is when it comes to manipulating you.

All I know is that love should not hurt, in any aspect.  Love that revolves around physical, verbal and emotional pain is not love. A blow, a shout and countless words that will pierce the heart and crush your personality can never be called love.

Jealousy never becomes a valid reason to hurt and make excessive love a legal reason to do such things. Nor can it be called love to accept and support all the wrong things your partner does because he will change in time.

True love is when you will lead your partner to the best of life—to its true beauty and meaningful purpose. It is wrong to ignore its negative effects.  Love that destroys and poisons is not love.  It will pull you both into the quagmire of despair and respect. You don't realize that the thrill and the love are gone. You will both be destroyed. You will both lose.

Nurture and give enough attention.  Nowadays it is rare to find a heart that loves sincerely and pure.

But if the love in front of you is destructive and painful, teach yourself to let go.

Lastly, love  will heal your wounds. Yes, love is important. When someone cause wounds to your heart, then, there is someone who will heal it. I was once pierced into pieces back then, someone had helped me to improve my personality. He who taught me to drive those insecurities away. He gave me the words that I deserve and this man appreciate me at all time. All wounds, scars, and words who broke you into pieces are the things which will make you stronger and strengthen your faith. Once you will be broken, you will understands other because they are already experienced being lack of love. But, that’s why someone are lonely, because they don’t have someone to lean on or to share with what they feel. Share love.

In conclusion, love is very powerful because trough love, we can heal each wounded heart, lessen our heavy burdens and will set our directions right. If you think you have found the love your heart is looking for, it is right and worth fighting for, do it.
-Always remember that before you love, you have to love yourself first. In the end, they say there is nothing better in life than being with that person who tickles your heart. Who give color to your world and give life to your personality. The one that becomes morning in your night and the rainbow that peeks out after every storm or rain that happens to you.

But always bear in mind the following. How long do smiles tickle?  Does love really have an end?  Are the words I love you enough to make you happy?  If the eyes are blind and the heart cannot see, will love take you to the peak of unparalleled bliss? If the love you found is enough and really true, do not let it go. Sometimes, we are doing cringy things to others just to show love because we thought that they will notice us but those are wrong way to show love. We must be kind and nice to others so, they will have our pure love. We must not looking for our differences to give love because,  Jodi Picoult said, “We don’t love someone because they are perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they are not. Jeremiah Dela Veda representing the University of Lumiere , once again, Good Morning!” And all of them stood up and gave me a loudest clap. I found them amazed.

Grabe, nauubos na ata English na nakatago sa aking isipan. Sinundo pa ako ni Chinito habang naglalakad ako pababa sa stage. Grabeng ngiti ’yon, abot-tainga. Tapos sobrang ingay na ng Court at nakatitig sa amin.

“Ang galing, mag merienda tayo.” Alok ni Kindred. Siyempre, hindi ko na ito aayawan. Kasama nga pala namin ang kalihim at bantay-bayan.

While we are at the pathway papunta sa canteen, Layla asked me to talk for a moments. Pinauna ko nalang sina Kindred sa Canteen at nagpa-iwan muna ako kay Layla. She brings me in the garden tapos nagkuwento siya. It was all about missing each other. Siyempre, ikaw ba naman lilipat ng ilang taon, ’di ka ba mamiss. I think, ayos naman sila dito. Hanggang sa nag-iba na ang usapan namin.

“Kumusta na si Mark?” Tinanong ko siya sa malambing na boses. Ngumiti sa akin si Layla.

“Mark Warren is quite handsome. Maraming nagkakagusto sa kaniya ngayon lalo na si Joyce. But...Mark is often going here and looking around na para bang may hinahanap o hinihiling gano’n. Naging book lover din siya because I always found him reading a book. Mamaya, baka darating siya dito. Naghihintay pa siguro ng results. Kausapin ko nalang siya mamaya na kinumusta mo pala.” Layla offered. Ayos, siya na naman aasarin ko. Charot. Ayaw ko na nga makita pagmumukha ng kupàl na ’yon. I laughed and asked Layla  na pumunta sa Canteen. Tumango naman siya.

**In the Canteen**
“Bakit ang tagal mong bumalik ha? Akala ko moments lang kayo do’n. ” Ani Chinito. Ngumisi lamang ako sa kaniya. His brows furrowed. Nag order narin kami ng meryenda at medyo mahaba-haba na ’yong pila. We sat at the bench while waiting when someone tapped my back.

“You’ve made it,” I was shocked when it’s him—the bully. I stunned for a moments and my eyes can’t move from him. He has a wavy eyelashes, pinkish lips and an attractive hairstyle. I am such statue after I saw him touching me. It seems, everything went okay when I saw him right infront of me. I shouldn’t felt like this. My belly has something which I couldn’t explain and seems around me is colorful.  “You are the champion between the presentation and in me.” I don’t know what he wanted to proved. I just smiled and suddenly, he took his hands and we’re shaking.

“Come’n Miah! Here is your food, ” Chinito shouted.

“Excuse me, I have to go now,” I leave Mark with a beautiful smile. He just looked at me and his face blushes. Yah! He’s cute.

Chinito intensely looked at me.  “And then?” He just clicked his tongue and gave me my order.