•I Can Feel His Breath On My Skin•
A shiver made its way through my body, rattling every bone that it passed, as his hand made contact with my cheek. I tried to breath, my lungs finding it difficult to function. He was squinting at me, trying to read me in the same way that he usually did. I wanted to run away, to run all of the way home right there and then. But I couldn't. "You're so beautiful. I hope that you know that, little mouse." He said, in the gruff voice that I had instantly fallen in love with. I shuddered, as his thumb stroked my cheek, his skin was rough. He was staring at my lips, me staring at the floor. I was too embarrassed to look at him; I felt as though I was about to throw up.
"I don't believe you." I said choking on my words, as well as the mouthful of air that my lungs were trying to reject. He smiled, revealing a row of perfect white teeth, chuckling wickedly. He knew exactly how he made me feel, and he knew how to push my buttons. That particular button being my 'personal space' button. He was getting closer to me, our bodies almost touching. He cocked his head to the side, his breathing ragged and sharp.
"I think that you need to be a little easier on yourself, you're the prettiest boy that I've ever seen- and I've seen lots of pretty boys. They flock here like little birds to the parties that I throw here," he said softly, my body going numb as his hand latched onto my arm, "You need to work on your eye contact." He whispered, his fingers grazing my lips. They were cold, like the marble floor beneath us. He let go of my arm, using his index finger to lift up my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes. They flickered from mine, to my lips, before he bit his own. We stared at each other in the silence of the room, outside tensions were beginning to rise. Guests were arriving for one of his parties, and he certainly didn't look the part. He was in casual attire, not a dashing suit like the night I had first set eyes on him. I got the feeling that I was needed at the front desk, but I was completely frozen. I couldn't move, and surprisingly I didn't want to. "You should come to my party tonight. Consider yourself formally invited. I think that you'll enjoy yourself. I promise." He said, letting go of me, walking straight past me. I heard the doors close behind him, whilst I was left trying to pick myself up off the ground. The way that he had touched me, it made me feel like I belonged to him. Breathing out, I shuddered, shaking myself off.
That boy would be the death of me, even he knew it. He loved to make me squirm in front of him, it was how he made his fun. I shook my head, curling my fingers, closing my eyes, counting to ten. I felt refreshed as the last number echoed inside of my head, I bent down, collecting all of the empty boxes together, carrying them to the room behind the front desk. Penelope had already disappeared, leaving Tallulah alone to check everybody in. I rolled my eyes, closing the door to the room, taking up my place next to him. He was wearing a long, red boilersuit with 70's flares, his heels were spectacular. I was in awe of him, especially his confidence to wear what he wanted. I wished that I could have had that confidence- the lack of it was the real reason why I cried myself to sleep almost every night. I wanted the freedom in my mind to wear the dresses that I fantasised over. The low-cut shirts, the skirts, the heels and the makeup- I longed to wear it and feel happy for once.
As soon as the crowds died down, I found the time to talk to him. I needed advice. "Tallulah?" I asked nervously, he was flicking through an old copy of vogue. He looked down at me from behind his old reading glasses, an eyebrow raised as if to say go on. "How did you find the confidence to dress the way you dress?" I asked curiously, crossing my legs, my hands between my thighs
"To put it frankly- I had been wearing my wife's dresses for years. The trick is- if you want to conceal who you really are- is to marry somebody with the same dress size. You should marry somebody that finds themselves on regular business trips, that leaves you with up to a week of dress-up time. Of course, we had children, meaning that I couldn't wander around the house anymore in her heels and her wedding dress," he said, rolling his eyes. I smiled, I loved the way that he was so open about his innermost secrets. I wished that I could've had his audacity, his overall grace. "So, I would find myself in the bar upstairs, drinking away whilst an eighteen-year-old nobody looked after my babies. Dear mister Thaddeus sat with me, turning on his charm. He asked why I was here, why I was drinking so much. I told him that I wasn't free to be who I was anymore, he told me that if I worked for him, I could be whomever I wished to be." He said with a sigh, I raised my eyebrows.
It seemed like Thaddeus wasn't that much of an arsehole, even if he liked to play with my mind the way he did. Anybody could've guessed that he was interested in me, but I couldn't have been sure. "Thaddeus isn't that much of a bad guy, then?" I asked gingerly, wringing my hands in my lap. Tallulah chuckled, shaking his head, leaning his elbow on the desk.
"Baby, he has his moments. Don't go falling for a boy like him- he's exactly that, a boy. He's childish, demanding, and likes to play games with the people around him. You're not a toy, you're a beautiful being, somebody that should be up there on the biggest pedestal- untouchable to anybody but a true man. He didn't try to kiss you in that room, did he?" He asked, leaning forwards, looking like a protective parent.
I shook my head with a laugh, trying my hardest to not bring back memories of that moment. The way that he touched me, the way this his rough skin felt against mine. I bit the insides of my mouth, as Tallulah leaned back in his chair. He was in disbelief, knowing that I wouldn't allow Thaddeus to kiss me. "No, he didn't kiss me. He just kind of held me, and touched my lips. He- uh- he also invited me to his party tonight. I don't know whether I should go or not, I probably shouldn't." I said with a shrug, my mind still going over the prospects of attending his little party.
"If you do go, you'll promise me one thing. You will not go up to his suite alone. Do you hear me? I don't care how drunk you are, I don't care how enticing the offer- you go home, or you come straight back here. Okay?" He said, holding onto my shoulders, shaking me for extra emphasis. I nodded obediently, I respected him a lot, and I understood that he knew Thaddeus inside and out.
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Song Of The Chapter- Goodbye Horses by Q Lazzarus
A.N
I've watched Silence of The Lambs way too much because I know Goodbye Horses off by heart and I'm not ashamed XD
Don't forget to comment and vote, it really helps me out <3
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