Millie's POV

"Finn, please stop," I said, even though I want him to keep going. I just don't feel comfortable anymore. All he is doing is kissing my neck. It's too much.

"Okay." He said, and looked at me with concern.

"Millie, tell me." He whispered, and I woke up, trying to breathe. Why doesn't he ever kiss me on the lips in my dreams?

I get up and get ready for the day, putting on a T-shirt and leggings. I never wear leggings to school. I like to look decent at school. I put a white hoodie over the T-shirt, the hoodie stopping at my mid thigh. I brushed my hair and teeth, I ate a couple strawberries and left. I put on a black beanie too, because of the snow. Sadie and I are carpooling today, because it's just easier that way. She picked me up, and laughed at me because I looked like an Oreo. I can admit I do.

I was thinking about my fate for today. Would it be a good day? Would Jacob leave me the fuck alone?

We arrived at school, and just talked to everyone. Everyone seemed in a good mood, except for Lilia.

"What's up lil?" I asked, and she shrugged.

"I told Mark I liked him, but he said he had another girl in mind." She said, and I frowned.

"It's okay, he isn't worth it. You're beautiful." I said, and she smiled and hugged me. I had to hold back the flinch and how badly I wanted to pull away for Lilia, because she needed the hug.

The bell rang, so I walked to my locker, and grabbed everything I needed, then closed it to see Finn standing there. Deja vu much?

"You coming to lunch today?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked, and he shrugged.

"Just wondering." He said, looking me up and down.

"You're a cute little Oreo today." He said, making me laugh. That was his goal today; to make me laugh. I can tell.

"Bye Finn," I said, walking away, going to English with Maddie.

Finn doesn't like me. I don't like Finn. We're just becoming friends, can that not happen? It's happening. We're becoming close, and we're being friends. He can be creepy and a little psycho sometimes, but you have to get past that to know the real him. And I'm working on it.

So it would be nice to stop dreaming about Finn. Even though he is a little attractive to me, that doesn't mean I like him. Can't he just be attractive? Why did he ask me to tell him in my dream? Tell him what?

"Millie?" Caleb asked, poking me. I zoned out, and looked at him and Gaten.

"What?" I asked. They don't care about math, they care about answers.

"Did you do these problems?" Gaten asked. I looked, and saw I did them and gave them the answers. The teacher doesn't care either. As long as we pass I guess. The bell rang soon enough, and I made my way to Spanish, god I hate Spanish. Why am I in it? I'm literally so dumb. I don't know how I'm in Spanish 4. I don't understand shit.

I zoned out, until I heard Finn whisper in my ear.

"¿Qué pasa Millie? por favor dime.". What the hell does that mean? Didn't I learn that shit in Spanish 1?

"Stop trying to make me look dumb, you know I can't understand spanish." I said, and he smiled, and started working.

——

I should've skipped this class. It isn't worth it. I was anxious the entire class, couldn't focus, or anything. So, I had to try and cram all my work in the last 5 minutes.

"I have to meet Noah after this period for some reason so I'll just meet you at lunch okay?" She said, and I kept working. I just need to finish this so I can pack up and get out the door.

But I didn't.

The bell rang and I tried to get everything packed and walk out the door, but Jacob beat me to it. It's just us again, the teacher was literally the first one out the door. How did I get stuck here? I turned around to go over to my desk, and I heard the door open again, and another guy came in.

That's Mark.

"What are you doing? Let me leave." I said to Jacob, and both of them laughed.

"Do you not understand the reason I brought Mark? He's interested too." He said. And I backed up again, my heart beating out of the chest of fear.

"It's okay Millie, just let us. It's easier that way." Mark said, and I looked at him.

"It'll be easier that way for your family too." Jacob said, threatening them. I widened my eyes, and tried to get away from them, but they held me down on the ground. Now there's two of them, and I can't beat two of them. And if I don't let them, they can hurt my family. I don't want my family to get hurt. What do I do?

They had me pinned down, Mark feeling the top of me and Jacob feeling the bottom. I hate this. I hate this I hate this I hate this. I'm trapped, and I can't do anything about it. I have to let them. They still covered my mouth, and did what they wanted to do. Jacob pulled down my leggings, saying to never wear jeans again. I guess. Whatever they want.

They didn't do anything but kiss me and touch me. I know that's bad, but it can be worse. I felt more numb than anything today. They took off my sweatshirt and saw my arms, and didn't really say anything except I was selfish.

They left me in there about 15-20 minutes later. I felt alone, and scared. I was crying. I put on my sweatshirt and fixed my leggings and hair, then grabbed my bag and went to lunch.

I walked in, and saw it was the same as yesterday, but the one with the empty seat was next to Finn. God, I really don't feel like him interrogating me. I try to act normal, but doesn't work. My leg won't stop bouncing, and he's watching it.

"Where were you?" He asked.

"I had stuff to do. History stuff." I said, and he nodded.

"Here. Eat." He said, giving me his apples and peanut butter. I looked at him, and he looked at me back.

"Okay." I said, and I ate. I don't feel like arguing. He looked over to me.

"Are you having a good day?" He said, and I shrugged.

"Are you?" I asked and he shrugged.

"Best as it can be."

——

I walk out of study hall from last period, and see everyone staring at me. Some weirded out, some sympathetic. Why is everyone looking at me? My hands are shaking. Sadie immediately ran up to me, and was on the verge of crying.

"Millie, what did you do?" She asked, and I furrowed my eyebrows. What did I do?

"Your arms," she cried, and my heart stopped.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to calm her down.

"There's something going around about how you've cut yourself on your arms all over and I don't know what to do and why didn't you tell me," she said, about to cry.

"Sadie meet me at the car." I said, tears forming in my eyes, my heart pounding. She went to the car, and all I feel is everyone watching me. Everyone knows. And I know who told them.

I walk up to Finns locker with tears in my eyes, and he looks at me while I slap him across the face. He got really mad and I thought he was going to hurt me, but his eyes seemed to lighten, and look at me with emotion.

"Why would you go and tell everyone I fucking cut myself!" I screamed at him, crying. He looked around, at the people looking at us.

"Millie, I didn't say anything. I promise." He said, and I kept crying, not believing him.

"You told everyone!" I yelled, and slapped him again, and he grabbed my hands and tried to calm me down and tell me it wasn't him.

"You're the only person that knows. You're the only person." I said, calming down, and he nodded.

"I promise I didn't tell anyone. It was our talk, it didn't need to involve anyone else. I didn't tell anyone, Mills. I promise." He said, trying to grab my upper arms, but I flinched and hit the locker next to me. I can tell Finn was really confused about everything in that very moment. I turned around and walked out, while I heard Finn shout my name. I don't care how many people are looking at me. I just have to explain everything to Sadie.

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Oop

Sorry I've been gone for so long y'all, busy summer. I might update a lot at once right now for anyone who's still reading.