A/N: Don't ask me. I didn't know where I was going with this either, I just wrote everything that came into my head.

---

A little later, Yoongi was taking a shit.

He was having trouble though.

It felt like days passed and still no sign of release.

"Help...Errrr... ahhhh! Christ! when is this epic poo gonna pass!?" Yoongi exclaimed, His face wincing with effort.

He made every effort in his little boy body to expel this demon thing from his womanly backside.

Just as Yoongi was going in for another push...

Without warning the bathroom door suddenly burst open unexpectedly. Ahhhh!

"Well hello...Yoongi" a seductive noise whispered from the doorway.

A shadowy person stood leaning against the door frame. His deep, sensual voice which Yoongi knew immediately. His mind began racing and a nervous sweat began pouring from his face and groinal area.

"Jimin... is that you? wha- what are you still doing awake...?"

He appeared in nothing but a towel, seemingly ready to take a steamy shower.

However He couldn't with Yoongi nearby....they were like family now. Jimin was like His mother.

Any sane person would never allow their own mother to see them in the nude. Right? RIGHT!!?! SHIT!"

"Oh I felt dirty from masturbating all day...ya ever feel dirty Yoongi?"

"Y-Yes, I mean NO! NO! NO! Never" Yoongi shrieked, He became so immensely worked up he cleaned his colon clear of the demon feces that had been clogging it. His voice also cracked like he was 13 again but in comparison to the loud flatulence he just unleashed, who cares? Jimin heard though, and giggled like an adorable baby girl laugh. It sent tingles all up Yoongi's spine.

"Oh, you've always been the shy one in the family, Yoongi..."

Yoongi was not shy, at all. He defeated and blew up Her evil machines for Christ's sake! and now he suddenly found himself speechless. Was He going to see his metaphorical mother literally naked? Little did he know, that was merely a chocolate source on the banana split of love that was to come.

"..the shy and excitable one," said Jimin finishing the sentence with a sly smile.

"Wh-what the..." and before Yoongi could send the third word out of His mouth..

..Jimin's towel dropped to the floor, setting his swingy bits free into the mist of the shower.

Yoongi noticed everything about him instantly. His soft butt, his magically gravity-defying middle leg and the small thingy-coloured birthmark on his butt made Him feel funny...He had one there too.

Still, the sight of his near-perfect body caused Yoongi's penis to become very hard. It stood erect and proud, pointing straight towards the mighty heavens.

"hehe oh my Yoongi...you're more impressive than I thought."

"uh... ye-yeah, th-thaaanks Jimin, you're cute too." THIS IS SO WRONG! It raced through his head at lightning speed. But the beautiful, wet, soapy body that stood before him spoke otherwise. His shapely body was everything Yoongi could want in something to wank. Yet did family relationships matter?..

...

...

NAAAAAH!!

But just as Yoongi was committing. Committing to a path that they couldn't go back from.

Yoongi burst into the toilet!

"What are you two up to?"

"Err..nothing" said Yoongi as he causally slipped his pants back on.

Jimin, who Yoongi didn't notice, picked up his towel and backed out slowly.

"Really?"

"I was just having a shit...see?" Yoongi gestured to his shit.

"Oh, that's a shit all right! One hell of a shit!

Ok, if you have done we better go"

So Yoongi put his other pants on and left. He had a serious case of blue balls, but at least his anus didn't feel so bad now.

As he walked out Jimin whispered one word. A word fall of hope.

"Later"

Yoongi Giggled.

Fortunately, their travelling companion was as oblivious as ever and didn't notice.

---

It was a cold day in.

Jimin winked at Yoongi when no one else was looking.

"Later" he mouthed at him silently so no one could hear.

---

It was a dark and snowy night. Yoongi had been bored, so bored, you wouldn't believe it.

He had been there together in the room with Jimin. Normally they could perfectly entertain each other(as they very much did each other the night before), but not this time. And to make matters worse, it was almost impossible to go to town. It was too snowy, too dark.

"Urgh," said Jimin, "I wish would attack. At least we'd have something to do."

agreed, "I agree," he said and started throwing his mobile phone at the wall, just to catch it again when it bounced off. "Urgh," he then said as well, because he agreed with Jimin, "Don't you know anything to do, Yoongi?"

"Well, I could do you again," Yoongi said.

liked that very much and for a moment, they did each other (under the approving gaze of Jimin who whipped out his Tool and played along on the beat of the others.

But admittedly, that only entertained them for the next three hours. Something else had to be found, Yoongi knew

Yoongi's gaze went down the room, past the Crucifix and a stack of anime collections. Then His eye fell onto a lone empty bottle still stuck in Jimin's ass they had used the evening before.

I know," said Yoongi, "How about we play...............spin...the....BOTTLE!"

"What a superb idea"

"Oh year!"

and also peaked up "Yeaaaah!"

So they all sat down and Yoongi took the bottle first. Hilariously, it landed on, but Yoongi thought was quite a bit too creepy and really didn't want to kiss the man. He hoped the others might have mistaken it for landing on, but judging the howls of laughter and the rising anticipation in the room, they probably didn't.

"But but don't you all see it really landed on ?"

"Laaawl no, u shuld kiss ," said . The fact that she said it made Yoongi feel rejected :(

But then, all of a sudden.... attacked!

But what started out as a fun adventure, turned out to be actually much worse.....

Because Yoongi may not have suspected it but had been colluding against them all along.

One night, went too and they both created a master plan. Oh, if only Yoongi knew that and were working together. Then they would be able to stop themselves from falling even more in love than they already had.

Yoongi went to the armoury (He had it built last week after being tired of all the enemas attacking them) and took a good look at all the weapons He could use. A musket of all sorts, Bows with sharp edges that could be used as a melee weapon as well as a ranged one, a large assault rifle with automatic and semi-automatic modes. But Yoongi had no interest in those. No, Yoongi knew that something bad was about to happen. Yoongi felt it down right across His spine. So Yoongi took the only weapon that truly spoke to their fear and anciently; the dark golden katana (a/n it's like gold, but also dark like the night), the sharpest sword ever made by the gods.

But little did Yoongi know that in fact, the sharpness of the blade was decided by the amount of love the wielder received (and so if Yoongi would be wielding it and didn't actually love Him, it wasn't sharp at all! Which is the case!)

---

Later, Yoongi and Jimin were alone again.

"It's Later," said Jimin, pulling Yoongi towards the bathroom.

"But what about the others?"

"I'll just tell them you are helping me shower. They won't suspect a thing"

"True. They are all idiots"

Then, suddenly, Jimin was naked. Yoongi wondered how He did that. He must have been nearly naked this whole time!

The shower turned on...

..Yoongi was already.

Jimin lathered up good and fine. The soap dripped off His body at a seductively slow pace. Yoongi could not contain the powerful urge of excitement that raced through His veins.

The alluring look of his nudie comrade became too much for him to fathom and his erect penis launched a mighty wad of semen directly into Yoongi's eye.

There Yoongi sat, His pink panties pulled quickly down at his ankles, on a toilet full of poop with His body fluids on full display, eyes bulging from His face.

Jimin giggled as Yoongi's dignity shrivelled and died, but Yoongi had always enjoyed that delightful snicker, even after He found out He was His own flesh and blood.

"Well...wh-what do we do now?" Yoongi said, desperately trying to sound suave.

"It. We do it."

"it?"

"yes. it"

"we do it?"

"yes"

"oh"

...and with that, Jimin jumped on Yoongi. What little remained of their clothes plopped off quickly. Some fell in the toilet.

"um... let g-get you outta my toil-dreams and into my bed." Yoongi stuttered, desperately trying to be slick, yet he knew it was hopeless to be suave on the shitter.

Jimin hopped gleefully out of the shower, the soap continued pouring from His shapely body. Yoongi stood up from the toilet, His naughty bits proudly waving about and His pants still down around His ankles. He hurried to chase His shapely body down.

He fell in the doorway, tripping over His pants. He pulled His face up from the floor and gazed at Jimin, DANCING ON THE KITCHEN TABLE

The night wreaked of eroticism...and Yoongi could see that it was going to be an all-you-can-eat pork fest.

And it was!

Jimin was soon ridding Yoongi like a pogo stick.

"Poke me! DEEPER! DEEPER! GODDAMNIT!"

"Oh God, I'm going to hell!" Yoongi screamed.

Yoongi still had his Hawaiian shirt on and Jimin was dripping soapy water all over the bed.

His perky penis swung around, like a happy child on a moon bounce. UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT!, Yoongi liked it. It was a big, beautiful thing that ached to be sucked on.

Yoongi especially liked that from this angle He could not see the awkward birthmark on His ass cheek. Which was a relief. Yoongi wanted to be hard and strong when it came to the person He had always thought of as His grandma.

"Oh Yoongi!" He breathed heavily, deep and cavernous "Is what we're doing wrong!?!?"

"OH GOD YES!!" He yelled back at His naked grandma.

"GOOD! YES! YES! YES! YES FATHER-IN-LAW!!!" Jimin screamed.

When it was over they cleaned themselves, the room and the nearby warehouse down.

It took a while - fortunately, they finished before any of their friends got back. So their little secret was safe...for now.

---

Yoongi took the mini towards 's Hut

When Yoongi arrived, he saw that was waiting in front of the 's apartment already.

Not knowing about 's conspiracy, he greeted the loyal woman and said "I see you've already geared up! I've brought some additional things along. Here, take this," Yoongi said and gave the legendary dark golden Katamaran.

For a brief moment, Yoongi was confused. 's really didn't seem to want to accept the blade.

"No, this is for you. You should wield this holy blade!"

"Nonsense, Yoongi said, "our love is so strong, this blade is the fiercest of everything. I want you to be safe. And I want you.... to follow in my footsteps as the greatest warrior of all."

"This is truly too much," said. For a brief moment, Yoongi thought 's eyes were a bit shifty. Was their love not the greatest?

But quickly Yoongi didn't continue thinking about it. How dare he get this idea in his head? Their love was the greatest (a/n it was, until convinced to switch over to her side! (With sex))

So Yoongi went in and defeated all the Space Pirates and the minotaur that had hired until they finally came to the Antic was hiding.

But there the betrayal started. raised the sword. Yoongi turned around.

"Prepare to die! shouted.

Hahaha! said Yoongi, "But you can't kill me. Because the only way this sword works is through the strength of love.

"Indeed, Yoongi said. The strength of the love of the other! And with one fierce sweep, stabbed Yoongi. "The love of the other!" said.

Because it was true, Yoongi still loved very much. And that love now. That was his undoing.

kicked Yoongi once more. And then Yoongi died.

The end.

(a/n Ha! Got you there! Yoongi was stupid for loving so much. This is what would happen if their relationship was canon. (In case you wonder IT"S NOT! HAH!)