Well that was a bust. I ate so much food they actually had to make an emergency trip to the grocery store and I still wasn't full. While waiting i did start reading that book. It's very strange. It's talking about something called a homunculi. I don't know what that is. I only got through the first two pages so hopefully when I read more it will explain.

Sighing I go back to my room. I didn't feel like doing anything.

Jumping in bed the first thing I do is open to the page I was reading.

Homunculi are only identified with there strange mark somewhere on their bodies. They are soulless beings brought back from the dead from a failed human transmutation circle. The symbol is of a dragon in a circle with a star in the middle. If you ever come in contact with one of them run. They will not hesitate to kill you.

         I felt sick to my stomach. Lifting my hand up I stare at the mark. I'm a soulless being now? That's what was taken from me, my soul.

           Dangerous? I've always been dangerous. Actually now that I think about it, all of the changes I noticed when I woke up. They must be because of what I am now a.......... Homunculi.

          I did hurt Allen. I wasn't meaning to it just happened.

         I continue reading, needing to know more.

Homunculi varry in difference. Each is brought back and given the name of one of the seven sins of humans. Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy or pride. There's no telling what name will be given to whom.

        It's been said, but has since been forgotten except for this book that one homunculi would be turned in a different way them the rest and would posses all seven sins. They would still die but it's unsaid of how they would be brought back. Its unknown if they act the same as homunculi or humans.

          Moving forward homunculi have a very simple diet. They can eat human food, but it won't fill them up or give them any energy. They need one thing and that's the philosopher stone. It's the one thing they NEED to survive. Without it they will grow considerably weak.

           So I guess it's true. I really am a homunculi. Wait now that I think about it, if homunculi are suppose to be these evil creatures without souls then why is my innocence acting fine? Anything that is evil and an act against god would be destroyed by the innocence. Why aren't I screaming in agony right now? Does that mean I'm not really evil and the books wrong? Not that I want to be evil. That does make me wonder though. When my Noah side activated and I didn't gain the 14s memories, my innocence didn't attack me. Allen's though did. Why? Did it have something to do with gaining the 14's menories. Me and Allen's innocence are almost exactly the same. Except I represent darkness and he represents the light. Now that I think about it im actualy quite happy not being in excruciating pain.

      It's all so confusing. It's all so much to take in.  I need to take a break.

Laying down I clear my mind. Ill deal with the rest tomorrow. Slowly I fall asleep.

           I wake with a gasp bolting up. Gripping my chest I try my hardest to calm down and control my breathing. Never in my life had I been so freaked out. I don't know if I just dreamed it or it's real but I think I'm scarred for life. A man wearing a white lab coat had taken a dog and little girl and merged them together. The girls and doctors face were so clear too. The girl, she reminded me of my sister. I don't remember anything else, just the traumatizing part.

        Sighing getting up I head over to my dresser to get dressed. Today was going to be a miserable day. I could already tell.

                       5 months later

    It's been 5 months since I woke up from death. Sounds depressing, yes I know it is. I'm still very weak and haven't been able to go on any mission since I accidentally broke Allen's arm. Not because I'm not trusted. It's just the order doesn't think I can handle it and I agree with them. Allen's arm has since been healed and has been going on missions for about four months now. We hang out all the time and he baby's me too. Which I don't mind.

         My and Kanda's relationship has blossomed. I love kanda very much and would give him my world. He actually asked me when I get older, hopefully I do, if I would marry him. Which I immediately said yes to. I'm 17 now so next year I'll be 18.

          It sucks because I haven't grown any taller since coming back to the order. I'm 5,6 but compared to every one else except that crazy little kid I forgot the name of I'm a shrimp to them. There all in the 6ft. Don't get me started on Kanda's height. I actually feel bad for the guy. Every time he wants to kiss me he has to bend down so low and I have to stand on my tippy-toes.

            I've read more of that book but I can't understand what it's talking about. It started talking something called Alchemy. It said homunculi don't possess the ability to use it. I'm still a bit unsure of what it actually does so I gave up on it. I'm about in the middle of the book and it sucks because I've noticed massive chunks of pages ripped out like someone was trying to hide something. I haven't told anyone about the book because I'm still unsure about it.

               Another thing I've noticed is that every night I have dreams about about this same group of people. A boy with long braided blond hair in a red coat who has a metal arm and leg, a big metal suit that can talk and a man with spiky green hair wearing a crop top and shorts. I could tell he was a homunculi because in his leg was the same symbol as on my hand and he had the same red lines as me, just not as many. It's been a very strange and exciting few months. I need to find out what's going on with me and make it stop. I just want a normal life with kanda and my family at the black order. Well as normal as you can get killing akuma a on a weekly basis.