As soon as we made it upstairs to the diner, I saw the last tank inching past—a mountain of slowly creeping metal capable of obliterating everything in its path. The booths were mostly empty, but a few stragglers remained, anxiously clutching their coffee cups as they stared wearily out the window. A little girl with a red ribbon in her hair had her face plastered against the glass, her eyes turned in the direction where the other tanks had already gone by. Her mother, a hollow-looking woman with deeply sunken eyes, pulled the girl back by the ponytail, and held her close until the last of the rumbling had stopped.

I realized I had been standing painfully still, watching the scene transpire before me. A glance over at the counter revealed Sage, looking a decade older than I'd last seen her just a couple years before. She poured a cup of coffee for the lone customer before her—a skinny old man in a bowler hat.

When she glanced up at me, a flash of something passed through her eyes. Was it anger? Or embarrassment? She flinched and turned away, plopping the coffeepot back in its holder and hovering over the pie table, hiding her face from me.

George had been telling the truth, then. Things here had gotten worse, a thousand times worse. This underlake version of Sage had already started to look defeated when I had last been here, too tired to fight back anymore. But now... now she couldn't even look at me; didn't want me to see what had become of her. I clenched my fist in spite. It looked like my mother had truly won.

An impulse to go and talk to her came over me, but Kieren's hand on my back led me in another direction.

We sat down in the corner booth—the same one I had once sat in with Brady—and wordlessly we both scooched in all the way to the middle. I didn't think I could get close enough to him. Just feeling his warmth next to me made me feel like, despite everything happening around us, I was safe.

I had forgotten how much Kieren used to make me feel that way. After our last confrontation, I didn't know if I'd ever have that with him again.

"George said we have to wait a few minutes," Kieren began, speaking almost in a whisper. His face was inches from mine, and he was being very careful that our conversation had no audience. "Until the last of the tanks is long gone. Then he'll bring us back through the woods."

I took a deep breath, the sting of the cuts in my arm still throbbing slightly. "I can't do that, Kieren."

"I don't want to hear your excuses, M."

"I'm not leaving yet."

"You are."

"You're not listening to me," I whispered a bit too loudly. Kieren touched my upper arm as a gentle warning to keep the volume down while his eagle eyes scanned the restaurant, looking for eavesdroppers. "I made a commitment."

"To do what? Get yourself killed for these people?"

"These people are my friends," I explained, glancing momentarily at Sage only to find that she still had her back turned to me. "They helped me when I needed it. And it's my fault things are this bad here."

"No, M," Kieren pressed on, almost begging me to understand. "It is not your job to fix this." He nervously peered out the window again. I followed his line of sight and saw that the last tank was no longer visible. Slowly, very slowly, a few people had started to reappear in the street, walking with bowed heads and shuffling feet towards wherever they had been heading before.

"I won't get hurt, Kieren. I promise you."

"You can't promise that. You know what happens if you stay too long..."

I did know, of course. If I stayed too long, if I changed too much while I was down here, it might become impossible to cross back. And while I realized he was right to be afraid of that, I also knew that I couldn't betray my friends just because of that possibility. Not when it was my fault their lives were like this. "I won't stay too long."

"M..."

"A few days, Kieren. Just to see this through."

"And what about your dad?" he asked, his facial muscles tensing. "What do I tell him?"

I had to admit to myself that I hadn't even thought about that. I was in the Today portal, which meant every minute that passed down here was passing up there as well. "Tell him the truth," I finally said. "I'm helping friends and I'll be back in a few days. Tell him... tell him that he would be proud of me."

He hesitated a moment before asking the next question through clenched teeth. "And Brady?"

I shook my head, the weight of realizing how many people cared about me suddenly feeling a little suffocating. "Tell him the same thing."

"That's not what I meant."

Kieren's eyes turned towards the door to the basement, resting on it with a bitter resentment. I followed his line of sight until it occurred to me that the reason he was looking at the basement was because Adam was in it.

"Oh my God, he's my teacher," I all but spat at him. I couldn't believe he would even think that about me. "It's not like that. And I wouldn't do that to Brady. I wouldn't cheat on him."

The words hit Kieren like a punch. He winced painfully and let out a slight grunt.

"I didn't mean it like that."

But he just shook his head. We sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. Finally I cleared my throat, knowing that it was up to me to ask the most difficult question.

"Do you love her?"

He closed his eyes, wrestling with some internal thought. He couldn't even look at me when he answered. "Yes."

Now it was my turn to feel punched. Tears raced down my cheeks and my throat clenched shut. How did this happen? Kieren was mine. We had finally found each other again, after so many years. How did I let him slip away?

"I love you too, M, but it's just different."

"How?"

He exhaled slowly, still not able to meet my eyes. "When I looked at you, all I could see were the years of pain. Years of regret and hating myself. It just hurt too much."

"And it didn't hurt with her?"

"She was..." he hesitated, but I think he knew he had to say it. "She was a new beginning. A fresh start."

A new wave of tears followed the first, and I didn't even bother to try and stop them. Instead they fell like tiny bombs onto my pants, exploding on impact and splattering on the bench all around me.

"Please don't cry, M."

I felt like I was suddenly imprisoned in a shell of sadness. I could feel Kieren's arms around me, but it was like they weren't real. They weren't even touching me. Nothing could touch me. This was it. We were really over.

I hadn't actually accepted it until that moment. Even when I was with Brady, when he was holding me the other night, a part of my brain was still trying to make sense of it all. That part would have to be at rest now. Because I had the answer, whether I liked it or not.

A shadow fell over me, and it took me a second to realize that it wasn't just from how I was feeling. Adam was standing next to the table, waiting for me to look up.

I wiped my eyes frantically with my palms, not wanting him to see me like this.

Kieren pulled away and stood beside the table, carefully keeping his distance from Adam. "You need to decide, M," he said coolly. "What are you going to do?"

I caught my breath and wiped away the last of the tears on a napkin, then crumpled it up and threw it on the table. By the time my face was dry, I had made my decision.

I stood up and took a step towards Adam, standing with my arm almost touching his. My head was still bowed, but I dared to look up at Kieren, seeing a reluctant acceptance in his eyes. He nodded and pushed his hair back with his fingers.

"If you're not back in five days, I'm coming to get you."

"I know that."

He straightened his shoulders. Looking up, I saw that George had also come back upstairs, and was talking with Sage over by the front door. He noticed me looking, and turned towards us, his arms slightly raised as if to say, "Who's coming with me?"

Kieren began walking towards George alone, but he stopped briefly as he passed us, leaning in towards Adam. "If anything happens to her, I swear..." His eyes bored into Adam's momentarily, and though Kieren was a couple inches taller, Adam's imposing physique puffed up to let Kieren know he wasn't intimidated.

And I stood like that, my heart beating a thousand times a minute, my arm barely grazing Adam's, as I watched George and Kieren head out the front door and disappear from view.

"Any more of your boyfriends coming, or can we get to work?" Adam asked.

I only glared at him in response, heading back downstairs to get started. 

****

Just curious: What do you guys think of Marina's decision? Agree or disagree?