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- You made delay, but time will not, and lost time is never found again

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CHAPTER TEN :: BLONDE

5 YEARS AFTER

MONDAY

There was much to look forward to really. The sounds of engines and turbines spinning was almost an every day thing for the blonde haired male to hear. People smiling and waving at their loved ones was always an experience to see.

How long has it been since he worked here? Right, 3 years.

How long has it been since he left Japan? 4 years.

How long has it been since he last saw the girl who still holds his heart? 5 years.

"Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking. In a few minutes from now, we will be landing in Tokyo, Japan. I really hope you enjoyed the flight and thank you for flying with us. We hope to fly with you again soon."

Keigo then leaned back on his chair after speaking. His co-pilot, Fumikage Tokoyami, chuckled and shook his head. Keigo had waited for the day to finally land back in Japan. He felt kind of bittersweet about it, looking back on the days that he found himself always smiling and happy. Now, he was just a guy who proved his parents wrong and a guy who never really moved on.

"You excited?" Fumikage asked out of the blue. "You had been patient for this day to arrive. It's finally here."

"I know..." Keigo bit his lower lip. "...I'm just afraid everything has changed."

"Change is inevitable, sir."

"I told you to stop calling me sir. Hawks or Keigo would be fine."

"Still, you're the captain around these parts." Fumikage smiled and Keigo chuckled, shaking his head at the young man.

"But sir, you really should make the most of it. We'll be flying again a week after and you won't be back for... a couple of months." Fumikage had known Keigo for 5 years now too. Keigo had shared every aspect of his life, in search of a new friend and a new life as he left the old one behind.

He never got to say his goodbyes.

He just vanished out of your lives.

"Don't you want to make up for the lost time?"

MONDAY

Keigo and Fumikage had successfully landed their flight in Japan. Both of them had missed the comfort of their home country and they were glad to take a week off from being pilots. The airline company had already set up their hotel and they were on their way there. It wasn't much considering that it was one of the incentives that came along being a pilot.

Keigo looked out the taxi window and watched as people and cars pass them by. A few shops had changed and others had been replaced by new ones. The taxi passed by your old apartment building and his heart started aching seeing it. Were you still there? Or were you now chasing the dreams you always had in mind?

Do you ever still think of him?

These questions were the only ones that kept running every time his thoughts come back to you. He admits that he was a jerk for leaving you without a trace-without a fair warning. To him, it felt wrong, but at that time, it was the only thing he knew he needed to do that was right.

You blocked him off your social medias and he thought it was only fair for you to do that. You even blocked his number; he knew because he tried to call you once but it never rings.

Everything now was just a big bowl of regret in his meal of life.

Both of them arrived at the hotel and quickly checked in. They were tired from the flight and all they wanted to do right now was sleep and get some shut eye.

When Keigo arrived at his hotel room, he placed his backpack down and sat on the bed. Time waits for no one, his mind kept reminding him. He stared at the clock for a while and then looked down. What the fuck was he even waiting for, right?

He grabbed his phone and unlocked it. His wallpaper-which he never changed for years on end-was still the selfie you took of the two of you on your last date. Keigo frowned and placed the phone down, trying to hold back his loneliness and sadness.

What was he still waiting for?

Quickly, he rummaged through his backpack and brought out the yellow envelope from years ago. He reread the note over and over again, wondering if it was already time for him to know what you have wrote. He bit his lower lip, caressing it before slowly opening the envelope. He was careful not to rip it-it was the only memory of you left with him.

His eyes scanned the stationary for a moment. The edges were still sharp and it looked like it had never aged. He had always brought the letter with him, waiting for the time to finally read it. He knows that it would probably hurt him but he also knows that it would probably fix the things he had messed up altogether.

He slowly opened the stationary, his eyes falling to your beautiful handwriting. Keigo smiled at the neatness of your composition while his at that time was a mess of words he barfed up on that piece of paper.

"Keigo," he read but soon enough he started hearing your voice through the written letter.

Keigo,

By the time you're reading this, it had been 5 years since we've been together or we have drifted apart. Dabi told me that the world is unfair, and maybe he was right all along.

Every time someone mentions a time, place, idea, shop, item, song, or band, a thought pops into my head. Well, it's probably not only me but don't you find it weird that whenever this thought pops up, you feel lots of different emotions washing over you like a waterfall?

Actually, most of the time, that thought makes my knees weak and I struggle to stand up. Sometimes, it makes me giggle and it makes me feel sad. Then, there are times where that thought makes me regret all the things I've done and sometimes, I wished that I could do something to make it all better.

That thought didn't come in bits and pieces. No, the thought took all my bits and pieces and placed it all together again like it was some kind of glue. That thought made me feel whole and complete that sometimes, I never want to stop thinking about it. But the longer I dwell on that thought; I start breaking into bits and pieces thus eventually making me uncertain.

This thought is the word and the rhyme that completes my poetry. However, this thought is also the word that I keep thinking about when it has NOTHING to do with my literary piece.

This thought is the taste of my favorite food and even though it's delicious, I get tired of having to taste it every single day. It's also that song on repeat; I listen to it all the fucking time and then there will be a while, I'll grow tired of listening to it.

Every time someone mentions a time, place, idea, shop, item, song, or band, a thought pops into my head. It might be selfish of me to say this but I always fucking hope, it isn't about you.

Because as much as I'm scared of getting tired about you; I'm actually more terrified of you getting tired about me. I'm scared that one day I will become the thought you will inevitably stop thinking about. I'm scared that I will become the thought that breaks you into a million pieces when all I want is to make you whole.

I'm scared that I will become something you were once in love with because for me, oh dear God, for me-it has always been you.

You were always that thought for me.

And what pains me the most is that...

One day, you'll decide, you aren't the one for me.

His heart dropped and he felt his head going dizzy. Keigo fucked up his decisions all those years ago. He hated himself that time but he felt more hatred for himself after reading your letter. His thoughts bothered him with the same line again;

Time waits for no one.

"What the fuck are you waiting for, Keigo?" He said out loud to himself. He ran his fingers through his hair and angrily bit his lower lip. It's taking a lot in him right now not to punch the wall of the hotel room right now. Keigo placed the letter back in the envelope, and returned it in his backpack.

"I need a fucking breather. I don't need sleep." He mumbled quietly, dressing out of his uniform and into some casual clothing, wearing his jacket, and heading out the hotel door to walk around the city for a while.

MONDAY

Life had always been unfair. Keigo was never the happiest with his life. His constant bickering with his parents, his jealousy with different people. These always gets the best of him. But when you arrived in his life, he felt like there was always a catch. He had always been happier with you, but he always thought that there was something life would do to change that.

As he walked, he passed by his old apartment building, the flowershop he always goes to, the university you both attended in, the cafe you both loved to go when you're stressed, and the in betweens. He only had one last stop for the night-your apartment.

Though, he knows you probably weren't there anymore, what hurts to go and pass by, right? His heart was doing jumping jacks while he made his way there. He wasn't nervous, no. He was afraid. What if he saw you? What if he sees your face? What if he heard your voice? What if he grazed your skin?

What if he kissed your lips again?

These thoughts were wildly running on his mind and he desperately shook his head just to rid of them. After all this time, he was still madly and truly in love with you. He wondered if your parents were disappointed in him that it had to turn this way. He wondered if they knew what would happen.

He wanted to ask for a sign to keep going.

'Do people still believe in fate?'

He remembered one of his recordings from a few years ago. From time to time, he would always find himself listening to those recordings just so he could feel lighter and happier. But along with those recordings were memories of you, and the love he has for you.

Was he crazy now for believing in fate? Was he crazy now for wanting destiny to side with him?

When his feet had now reached the street where your apartment building was situated, he started walking slowly. He tried to envision himself back to those years where the two of you would be heading home after a night of hanging out and having fun. His breathing was slow and steady, trying to calm his racing heart.

Keigo stopped for a moment and his eyes stared at the building now in front of him. He smiled bitterly. Maybe this is the last time he'd ever want to see this again. Fumikage had tried to convince him to contact you several times but he always turned it down, thinking that you wouldn't want to deal with a heartbreak that might have healed over those five years.

He left because he didn't want you to risk your life for him.

He left because he didn't want to break any more hearts than he should.

He left because he always thought that it was the only thing he needed to do.

But now, he realized that these were only shackles that stuck to him throughout the entire time and fuck it if he believed if he was happy. He never truly was happy the day he left. He never truly was happy without your smile and laughter. He didn't want to make it through a day without your touch and your kiss.

Why did he have to mess it up so bad?

Just as he was about to leave, he felt his footsteps getting heavier by the second. There seemed to be a force stronger than gravity that was dragging him down. His breathing started to get heavier as he inhaled oxygen only to exhale them the moment he got them. His forehead started to sweat and his whole body was shaking.

Why now, really?

"Keigo?"

You were as beautiful as ever. His tongue seemed to have lost its purpose. The words he wanted to say lost in the deep crevices of his mind. He wanted to hug you but that would have been awfully awkward and something that wasn't supposed to be done after disappearing for so long.

"(Your name)."

Your smile found its way on their lips and her eyes looked like they were about to cry. Fuck, it hurt to see it. Keigo swallowed down his saliva, smiling back at you slightly. He felt himself getting warmer as you tug some hair strands behind your ear. But he saw something that made his heart shatter into a million pieces.

'Was that an engagement ring?'

Keigo felt his eyes tear up but he quickly rubbed it off before you could notice. You pursed your lips before opening them to speak again. "How long is your stay here?"

You knew he became a pilot, that had always been his dream, wasn't it?

"A week. I might return after a month...or two..." he said quietly, sadness was welling out of his own tone. "So, you're engaged to him now?"

"Yes. About 4 months."

"When's the ceremony? You should invite me." He joked around but his heart was screaming out to him about how he should try to make things up now. But it was probably too late for that.

"Haven't really decided yet. Dabi's the one we're waiting for actually. He's been out of the country for a while now. He'll be back tomorrow to talk about it."

"I see. Uh, goodluck with that. I'm gonna have to go. It's getting late. I wouldn't wanna keep you here."

Keigo tried to walk as fast as he can but your hand caught his arm, turning him around. You reached something in your sling bag and brought out a yellow envelope, placing it in his hand.

"...I'm sorry... Keigo..."

You started to walk away and he was left there, dumbfounded. Keigo started to walk the opposite direction now and he was left with a lot of questions that were messing his thoughts up. Keigo wanted to run back to you and hug you, tell you that he wants you back.

Keigo returned to his hotel room and directly cried when he closed the door. Honestly, he didn't want to cry but the pain inside him only ached and burned when he won't. However, tears can't bring back the time he wasted and lost with you. What he can do now is regret on his decisions and actions.

When he calmed down, with a heavy heart, he watched the envelope. Much to his surprise, it was already opened. He grabbed the letter inside and read it. His eyes widened upon realization that it was his letter for you.

Sunflower,

Time waits for no one.

I am writing this down to let you know that my feelings, after 5 years of being together or being far apart, will never change. I am here to remind you that, I will continue to love you from afar.

You see, sunflower.

I didn't know who or what love was. I thought that it was just a fragment of emotion in the depths of our brain triggered by physical beauty. I thought love was the reason of loneliness you'd feel once in a while. I used to think love was gonna beat my heart up because I did not deserve it.

However, when you came into my life, love changed. Love did not care for physical attraction; love was more than that. Love cared for what was inside of a person rather than the outside.

Love did not create loneliness yet replaced them with never ending joy. Love took care of the heart that had the fear of knowing the feeling. Now I know what love is.

Love is what you showed me when I thought I'd never see it.

But if there comes a time where waiting for me to come back again is hazy and unsure... you can leave and find another. I only want you to be happy. And if happy isn't me anymore, please let go.

Keigo read his letter again and again and again, feeling every word stab him in the back like knives. Keigo was about to put the paper down however, when he turned the paper around. There was a small response that you had made. It read;

Keigo,

5 years had passed and I still love you. But you are right... I need to be happy. From now on, I'll try to move on and love him...just the way he deserves it. And if you come back, and we meet again under such circumstances, I apologize.

I waited.

But you only broke my heart.

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A/N: A lot of people are probably going to kill me for this chapter. I am sorry ;-; I'll redeem myself but first, let's break our hearts.

Enjoy!