———

⚠️ TW: This chapter may contain triggering subjects such as death, mental health, and slight abuse. Please read at your own risk. You have been warned.

Prerequisite: Music helps set the mood, so as much as possible, I guess you should listen to the songs I put before the chapter starts. I mean, that is if you want to.

———

———

— But if the color is too faded it might mean lack of confidence. Dark yellow, the color of the cynic and complainer, represents the presence of melancholy, lack of love and even depression.

———

CHAPTER FIVE :: BANANA

2 YEARS AGO

SATURDAY
5:30 PM

The ocean that day was tremendously beautiful. It sparkled just as the sun was going down the horizon. You took a deep breath and felt the saltwater brush against your nostrils, circulating inside your body like a drug you just took in. Dabi was right by your side that time, watching over you as your parents requested.

Both of you were waiting for your families to come pick the two of you up, sitting at the sand.

"Thanks for accompanying me here today." You told your older cousin which he only responded with a chuckle and a pat to your head. Ever since you were younger, both of you had been close and nothing changed when both of you grown up.

"I wonder what's taking them so long..." Dabi said while he looked at the far ends of the ocean in front of them. You nodded. "...they should have been here by now."

And when the sun finally dove down only to be seen the next day, that's when it happened. Dabi's phone rang and he automatically picked it up. He stayed quiet for a while before standing up and looking at you worriedly. A lump was forming on his throat and he inhaled sharply.

You stood up, never looking away from each other. Your heart started to pick up its pace and you could have sworn you had gone deaf for a moment. You read his lips, only to shake your head in disbelief.

"Your parents...got into a car crash..." Dabi stopped and thought for a moment. "....No one survived... they're at the hospital right now... Father will pick us up..."

You were glued to where you were standing. What did you feel? Nothing. It felt like the world had stopped moving for a moment. Everything around you in slow motions. The lights, were blurred out and Dabi's voice but a muffled sound.

You felt your chest tightening and you placed your hand right above where your heart would be. Is it still there? You felt yourself move and you were absentmindedly walking to the sea. Dabi was shocked and followed you closely but not enough to make you rage at him.

What was there to feel at the moment? You wanted to do something but you know it might take a while, or even worse, it would be too late. You felt the cold water brush against your shoes and your pants. You walked slowly until the water was just above your knee.

"The sunset looked pretty today." You said aloud which startled Dabi. "I wonder if it's possible to pull it back..."

"I—" Dabi was unsure what to say not hurt you. "I'm sure that's not how it works..?"

"I know. I just need something." You looked down at the ocean. "I need something to hold on to..."

"A-are—" Dabi was cut off by you curling into the water. You hugged your knees and cried quietly, hot tears streaming down your cold face made you think of nothing more but your parents. You wanted to scream but the voice that comes out of your throat are nothing but breathless whines.

You wanted to drown. You wanted to disappear like the sun that dove right down the horizon—do anything that wasn't involving you feeling the emptiness you have in you right now.

Dabi tried picking you up but most of the time you resisted him, pushing him away or taking his arms off of you. Dabi didn't mind this and waited for you to feel better and for the both of you to come back to the sand. After that cry, tears still streamed down your face but you didn't make a sound.

You stayed with Dabi's family that night (and for the rest of your life for that matter).

For months, bad thoughts kept circling your head like vultures. And every time that happened, you went back to that same spot you and Dabi stayed on. And so many times you tried to drown yourself before getting pulled back to the surface by Dabi. He never let you out of his sight again.

Dabi's parents were starting to worry about your well-being despite your outstanding academic performances. So, they took you to see a therapist. You were the one who thought you might have gone crazy.

But it helped you prevent yourself from going to that phase.

"Write one line that you always think of when you  think of a sunset." The therapist would tell you.

You always wrote; Who knew something so beautiful could cause me so much pain?

1 YEAR AGO

MONDAY
8:50 AM

Going on weekly therapy sessions helped you cope with your suicidal ideation. For others you had met at your time at the clinic, not so. The therapist told you that different people take things differently and that sometimes, it takes years for them to recover. Despite you feeling better, you still liked going to the weekly sessions especially when it would be in groups.

That was the first time you saw the yellow haired male—not at the bar—and he didn't seem like the type that was easily approachable. He had shorter hair and was always in a clean cut. This was the reason why you didn't recognize him when Dabi introduced you to one another a year after.

The therapist paired you two together and you got to know more of him. He only seemed distant because he was afraid of being left alone.

Keigo (whose name you didn't know that time) was a student of the same university you and Dabi were in. An aviation student whose only purpose was to rub it in his parents' faces that he can become a pilot even without them. He works two jobs just to get by and has gained a scholarship from the university because of his intelligence.

The two of you instantly clicked, and from then on  your weekly sessions became a bonding time for the two of you.

"My name's (First Name) (Last Name). I thought that since it would be the third time we're hanging out in a session, I would finally share my name." You smiled and reached out your hand to him.

He frowned. "I'm sorry if I can't say my name, (your name). I mean, as much as I want you to know, I don't think I'm ready to share it yet."

"I'll find out at university anyways."

"Goodluck finding me then, short stuff."

"I am not that short."

He just gave you a chuckle. The session went on like a blur and you waved him a goodbye, telling him that you were looking forward to meeting him again.

10 MONTHS AGO

FRIDAY
11:30 PM

You and your friends went out for drinks. Dabi had stayed at his own home studying for his finals. Of course, you didn't tell him you were going to a bar because that would automatically be a 'no' from him. But what's life without a little disobeying, right? Well, you realized the hard way that it would be months of trauma once again.

Intoxicated, your mind was in circles and you didn't really know what the hell was going on. You were aware that you were moving but whatever the fuck you were doing, was a big messy blur. The next thing you know, you were in an alleyway, french kissing some dude you don't even know the name of.

You pushed him away for a breather but he starts snaking his hands on your thigh which only made you slap his cheek as a defense mechanism. You were still drunk but there was no way you were having a one night stand with this dude. You didn't even remember how you got here.

"Oh, c'mon darling~" he said, inching his face closer to yours. "Just one try.",

"No." you said sternly before harshly pushing him away and walking off.

But before you could fully walk away, he grabbed a fistful of your hair and tackled you to the ground. You struggled to break free, mainly because you were intoxicated and spinning as fuck right now. You wanted to scream but he only silenced you with his hand, while the other was now strangling your neck.

"You don't just do that to me." He said with a rather sadistic expression while he hovered over you. You were now struggling to breathe and you closed your eyes, accepting your fate.

However, just as you were closing your eyes, the pressure on your neck disappeared and you heard a loud thud on your side. You slowly opened your eyes to see the blonde haired male from the therapy sessions.

He looked at you worriedly. "Are you alright? I should have known this was happening."

"W-what—" you felt your chest tightening and you were struggling to breathe again, everything just sinking in all at once. You felt scared, tired, drunk, dizzy, anxious, and harrassed. Your whole body started shaking and Keigo got to his knees. You were having a panic attack.

You looked at him and studied his features as his hands found their way around your waist, him sitting on the ground. You were pulled on his lap and he rested your head on his chest. This was one of the things the therapy sessions taught you.

"Ground yourself. Look around." He whispered and you nodded but it hurt to move, your whole body was stiff. Tears started crawling down your cheeks.

"Listen to my voice, okay? You're safe. You're alright. Stay with me." He was about to have a panic attack himself if he couldn't calm you down. He was bad at these types of situations but he needed to do the best that he can.

"Look at me, please." Keigo stated and you obliged even though it hurt to move. He gave you instructions about breathing in for 5 seconds and exhaling for another 5 to stop yourself from catching your breath.

Both of you did that for 10 times before your body calmed down and decided not to tense up anymore. You buried your face on his chest and cried silently. He gave you a big hug and rubbed your back.

"I'll take you home so you can rest, okay?" He said after you have finally calmed down and regained your strength. You nodded and smiled a bit, shuddering at what had happened minutes before.

Upon reaching your apartment, you gave him a big hug, thanking him for all his help. If it weren't for him, maybe you would have been dead right now and none of your friends would have known. He said it was his pleasure and walked his own way home.

Little did you know, on that same night, he had been hit by an over speeding car. Keigo hit the road hard enough to cause a concussion that put him in a coma for 3 months. The university excused him, not cancelling his scholarship and decided it was best that he repeated his 3rd year on the next school year instead so he can fully recover.

Keigo lost most of his recent memories and forgotten about his therapy sessions, what happened that night, and who you were. Dabi was the one who was constantly visiting him in the hospital, telling him and feeding him little information about recent happenings.

What Dabi couldn't answer for him though is how he lost his memories. Dabi knew Keigo got into an accident but he never knew why Keigo got hit with a car at that side of the city. It was near your apartment building too.

Dabi reasoned out that Keigo had been seeing a therapist for his mental health about his parents abandonment of him. Maybe he was too deep into thought and he didn't notice the car. Keigo accepted this and decided that he needed to see that same therapist about it.

However, before he could reach that therapist, Dabi oriented them about what happened to Keigo and asking to prevent him from knowing about what truly happened. You bumped into him once in a while but this time, he only strikes you as someone you were familiar with.

After that bar incident, you still couldn't wash the memory away from your head, it traumatized you to the extent that you lock yourself in your room and Dabi had to be the one to drag you out and let you see your therapist. Dabi thought you were just relapsing about your parents again but he didn't know about what happened. And the only guy who did, disappeared on you for 3 months.

The pills your therapist suggested you would take had a short term memory loss side effect on you. And this brought you right on track.

And Keigo, on another one.

5 MONTHS AGO

SUNDAY
3:00 PM

"I'll be heading out today." Dabi called out to you while you were watching television in your apartment's living room. You had been feeling a lot better than the last few months and you don't really bring the incident up in your head anymore.

"Who you going out with? You don't even have a girlfriend." You teased which only made him groan and chuckle in response.

"Well, I have a friend, Keigo." He said while grabbing his jacket from the coat rack. "You remember him, right?"

"Hm. Yeah, the messy yellow haired dude. Aviation student." You answered but wondered if he knew the male that saved you that night.

"Yeah. His name is Keigo Takami. We call him Hawks."

"Why are you explaining this?"

"It might come in handy in the future. You'll see."

And if course it did. It all made sense now. You just now needed to wake up and piece it all up together with Keigo.

PRESENT TIME

SATURDAY
10:00 AM

Your eyes bolted awake and you felt Keigo's strong arm wrapped around your body. How did you even end up cuddling even with the boundary pillow? You just had the strangest dream and you finally remembered why this stranger seemed familiar to you even before Dabi had introduced the both of you to one another.

You turned to your side and watched as his nose twitched in his sleep. You cupped his face and ran your thumb across his cheeks. Did you have the right to tell him what you remember? Did you want him to suffer with what you know? Did you want him to remember?

You felt his breath fan your face and you were brought back to reality. You took a deep breath and sighed. Maybe you did need to tell him but not fully, he needed to remember things on his own too. You removed your hands from his cheeks and you placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking him.

"Hey, sleepy head. Time to wake up. We have a lot to do."

"Good morning, sunflower." He grunted before fluttering his eyes open. He stared at you and smiled. "Damn, I could get used to this."

"Used to what?" You raised a brow.

"Cuddling and waking up to a beautiful face."

You blushed at his words and hit his chest with your fist. "Shut up." was all you managed to say before breaking free from his grasp and sitting up. Keigo watched as she made her way to the edge of the bed and stood up. Why did she seem so upset?

Keigo sat up and stretched. He thought about what Emi said at the bar last night and how he remembered something at the restroom before passing out. His nightmare ended the way it always had, a bright light and a scream. He felt like it was trying to tell him something.

He was brought back to his senses when you knocked on the bedroom door. "Do you want scrambled or sunny side eggs?"

"Surprise me."

You snickered, shaking your head before taking an exit. He looked at his hand and balled it into a fist. Were you really sure you'd help him regain some of his memories and finally get some answers?

He finally exited your bedroom and went to place his elbows on the kitchen counter while you cooked. Keigo's eyes never left you for a moment and he closed them, quietly falling back to sleep.

You looked back and saw that he has fallen back asleep. You felt a pang of pain and guilt in your chest and you gulped. This guy was restless enough and telling him what you know could cause him even more stress. Your body tensed up as you cooked, not noticing that Keigo had opened his eyes and saw you tense up.

He went near you and massaged your shoulders. "Are you alright, kid? What's on your mind?"

"Uh—" you jumped up slightly as you weren't expecting that. "N-nothing really. Maybe, I was just tired from earlier."

"Then allow me to do that." He tried to take you away from the stove.

"No." You pushed him using your leg. "Just let me do this."

"I'm supposed to be one taking care of you." Keigo argued.

You stayed quiet. He was right about that but you still didn't budge which made him sigh and he walked back to the living room to flop on the couch, mumbling and groaning to himself. This made you chuckle at how childish he's acting.

After a few mintes, you placed the plate of scrambled eggs in front of him and smiled.

"Eat up. I'll be taking you somewhere. And don't worry about what you're gonna wear, I'll try to find Dabi's extra shirts here."

Keigo looked at you confusedly but ate the eggs anyway.

"Where are we going exactly?"

"A trip down memory lane." You responded. "I said I'll help you remember, right?"

Seriously, what was wrong with you today?

SATURDAY
3:30 PM

"God, sunflower. It's too hot. We've been out for hours." Keigo had used his hand to block some sun rays from hitting his face. "Besides, what are we doing back to the bar anyways?"

"You said you also remembered saving me, right?"

Keigo nodded.

"Well, do you remember where you saved me?"

Don't move there's a lion next to you.

He pursed his lips and closed his eyes, thinking for a while before giving in and shaking his head. You sighed lightly and showed him the alleyway beside the bar. Both of you stared at that alleyway for a few minutes.

"Anything?"

Keigo tried to remember. He thought about that night and the way he punched that idiot for strangling you. It was fuzzy but he could point out that you were crying in his arms and he was trying to calm you down. The conversations were silenced but that's all he could recall.

I pray that your soul survives it through another day.

He told you that and you just took in a large amount of air. You placed your hand on his shoulder making him shudder from the contact.

"It's okay. You'll get there." You said to him while pulling him away from the alleyway. "Let's go somewhere else."

Quickly, both of you walked down the path to the therapist's clinic. Keigo looked around and only said the surroundings looked familiar but he couldn't pin point why. He took your hand and interlocked his fingers with yours which made you stop walking.

"Why...?" You looked down at your interlocking hands.

"I feel uncomfortable. I need warmth." He stated bluntly, breathing out while looking around the area. You held his hand tightly and assured him that it was alright.

Both of you arrived in front of the clinic and you tried to ask him if he remembers anything about going to the clinic prior his accident. Once again, there was a negative answer from the taller male who's clutch in your hand only grew tighter.

"What do you mean I've been here before the accident?"

"I—" you stopped yourself and stared at his eyes. "I don't know..."

"Yes, you do. (Your name), you've been acting strange since this morning." He grabbed your shoulder and made you face him. "What's going on?"

I see oceans in your eyes, it makes me scared

You tried to string words together to explain to him what was going on in your head. The night he lost his memories, his last stop was your apartment building. You couldn't help but blame yourself for being semi-responsible for anything that happened to him after taking you home.

Scared, you pushed him away and ran. You felt the pain you haven't felt in a while and it made you panic. You ran, not minding where your legs were taking you.

Keigo followed you too though, he didn't know what he said to make you run and push him. He was scared for you. He was afraid to lose you if anything ever happened to you.

Your legs took you to the ocean, the same one you and Dabi went to went you felt like shit. The same ocean that showed you that beautiful yellow sunset before your parents died wearing yellow. The same ocean you tried to kill yourself in. Without hesitation, you took of your shoes and ran to the water. Keigo was following closely, watching you as you take of your shoes and running to the water.

The waves were crashing the shoreline and it seemed like it was trying to wash away what was left of the sand. And maybe that was what you were trying to do, wash away what was left of your sanity before you turn insane. You took one last deep breath before putting yourself under the sea.

Keigo panicked as soon as he saw you dove into the deeper end of the ocean, making him take off his shoes and swim to you. Under the ocean, you saw him getting close to you. You let him and you waited for him to get you up the surface but much to your surprise, he didn't.

Instead he joined you under the water and stared at you. You stared back at him, your tears weren't visible. His yellow eyes stared into your fearful (eye color) ones. His yellow hair flowed under the influence of the waves just above the surface.

So, if we both drown...

Then, that's when it hit him. The fear in your eyes reminded him of that day. Keigo widened his eyes. He knew when he first met you. He remembered why he got into a coma. He felt the pain in his chest rise as every memory that he had forgotten came rushing back to him like a wave. He knew you were blaming yourself because he took you home before he got hit by that car.

He grabbed you and dragged both of you to the surface, the waves still crashing at both of you.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" He screamed at you. You flinched and the tears started falling down again.

"I—I remembered you." you managed to say through sobs.

"And you think I'd be fine with you drowning yourself because of me?!" Keigo held back his own tears. He pulled you closer to him and he hugged you tight, despite the waves trying to wash both of you away. "I missed you..."

You were surprised but you hugged him back. You let the tears flow into his shoulder and into the water. "D-do you—"

"Yes...but despite the many questions in my head right now..." he stopped and took a deep breath. "I just want you to know that I'm right here. I'll always be."

"..."

"If you need to tell me anything...tell me. I'm not gonna blame you for what happened."

Oh, don't be scared. I'm right here. And what is fear?

This made you hug him even tighter and you were now shaking in his arms. He placed his hand on top of your head and closed his eyes, letting you cry on him. When you finally calmed down, both of you went to the shallow part of the beach. Both of you sat there and watched as the waves pass the two of you by.

"I'm sorry, Hawks." You say out of the blue, staring at your toes.

The calling him by his nickname surprised the male and made him turn to look at you. He smiled a bit. "You don't have to be... you've been...a really great help from the start."

Yeah, I'm scared but I won't let it get to me.

"You've made me so happy, you know that. When we first met, you've already made me so happy." He continued and he stood up, grabbing you so you were standing as well. You blushed and stared once again at his yellow eyes. You closed your eyes and tears start falling from them again.

He cupped your face and wiped away the tears with his thumbs. He placed his forehead on yours, his yellow hair dripping with salt water.

The sun had began to sink on the horizon again, making you remember the past two years ago. The sky had began to color themselves the same shade you love and hate. The same color you placed Keigo's name in when you text about how your day went. The same color that had hurt you and made you happy nonetheless.

You sighed and when you tried to open your mouth to say something, Keigo had placed his lips on yours. His lips were warm compared to your cold ones. You smiled through the kiss before kissing him back.

When he pulled away, you were sure you had gone deaf the same way you did the day you lost your parents. You read Keigo's lips the same way you read Dabi's.

But this time, it wasn't bad news.

"I love you, (your name)." He said. "I won't be leaving you anytime soon."

You closed your eyes and held his hands that were still cupping your cheeks. You remembered the question the therapist asked you; "What do you always think of when you see a sunset?"

You always wrote; Who knew something so beautiful could cause me so much pain? For years, this had always been your answer to it. Maybe this time, it changes.

"Who knew something so painful could bring me something so beautiful?" You opened your eyes and said this to him, smiling through your tears.

"I love you too, Keigo." you added. "And after how many years, I finally learned your name."

———

A/N: This has got to be one of the hardest things I've written because I had to stop for around 7 times to cry. I'm soft. But I hope you enjoyed this chapter!