Author's Note:
Hola peeps! I am back! Things have been quite heard lately but I guess I am trying to cope up. I am very sorry for the delay in the updates, though. Glad that I had this drafted before. Have a happy reading now!

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"Why is he not coming, Hobi?", I cried holding his shirt and he was just silent. Are their words real? Am I just imagining things? But he was there with me. He cuddled me, hugged me, and even kissed me. How can he be not real? He promised he will never leave me. Where did he go?

"He won't come, Nari. He won't", Hobi muttered and my last hopes started to blow away. All this time, was he really not there. Was I just imagining him? No, no, what if he has some work and couldn't come home this night?

But why this night out of all the times. When I am in a state of mind where I couldn't decipher what is real and what is not, why is he not present to prove himself? Why is he doing this? 

Seo Joon ah, please come back to me. I can't live without you.

"Please tell me he is there, Hobi. At least tell me he is alive", I sobbed on his chest and could feel his hands, brushing my fingers. I need Seo Joon. I can't lose him this way. I want to see him. I want to run and cry in his arms.

"Please tell me, Hobi", I clutched his shirt but he was still silent. My heart clenched with hurt and never did silence devastate me so bad. What if Hobi's words are true? Did I lose Seo Joon forever? Can't I meet him again? The real him?

"Sleep, Nari. You need to rest. We will be going to visit a doctor tomorrow", he caressed my hair and I nodded. I wish all of this is a dream. I wish everything will be fine once I woke up. I never asked for anything. Can this wish be true? Just this one.

"I will stay here, tonight", Hobi kissed my forehead and got up from my bed.

"I will sleep on the couch", he mouthed and I nodded.

I just hope this is one nightmare.

• • •

I tossed and turned on the bed and woke up, letting out a yawn. I rubbed my eyes and thought for a second if I should not open my eyes or not. Please, Seo Joon should be there in the house. Please, I begged for the millionth time in the one second and slowly opened my eyes to see no one.

My eyes glistened on not finding him anywhere in the room. Why should it happen like this? I covered my face with my palms and started crying. How can I be so oblivious? How could I not discern the difference between a real person and my imagination?

"Nari", Hobi's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. His expression changed on seeing me and he advanced his steps towards me. Keeping the mug aside on the nightstand, he sat down beside me. I shook my head, gesturing to him not to talk anything. I know he would say the same thing. Seo Joon is not real. I don't want to listen to those words.

I just hugged him, letting out whimpers with each sob. I don't know what to call this situation. I am losing hope and I lost love. A part of me still believes Seo Joon is still real. But why does he have to disappear when Hobi is present?

Why can't my jagi come and hug me, telling me that everything's okay. Why can't he just shout out to the world that he is real? Why can't he appear in front of Hobi?

I broke down in his embrace. I can't take this in. I just can't.

"It will alright, Nari. It will take time", he rubbed my back.

Alright? How can it be alright when he isn't present in my life? How can time heal his absence? How can everything be fine? My heart screamed in frustration and despair but none of the thoughts voiced out. 

Can anyone take me to my love? 

Please...

"Freshen yourself. We will go out", he patted my cheeks and got out of the room. Can anyone understand how much pain I am feeling? 

Once he stepped outside, I crashed down. This is distressing. He was disappeared from this world for three months and I was just living with his imagination. Isn't this stupefying? What if Seo Joon returns unlike what they are speaking? Then, I can live with him, right? Will he return?

"Nari, you need to get ready", I could hear Hobi's voice and wiped my tears. Until I see Seo Joon again, I am dependant on Hobi. I can't stand by myself, not when he isn't there for me. Seo Joon is the reason I walked until here. I don't know who will lead me in the future if what they say is true.

• • •

"Dr. Isabella Ryu?", I asked and he nodded. The hospital looks expensive and I don't know how Hobi managed to get an appointment here? Did he spend his money? I looked at him and he smiled, pulling me inside the room. 

I looked at an elderly lady and her face beamed with a wide smile as soon as we entered. There is nothing to smile about. Nothing in my life is so nice to smile. I walked inside and got seated along with Hobi.

"It's nice meeting you, Mr. Jung. This is Ms. Nari, right?", she asked and I nodded. 

"I have heard of you Ms. Nari and I am glad that you are here", she piped in and I gave her a blank expression. Glad? What is she glad about? About my condition?

"Mr. Jung, you can stay outside. I want to talk to her alone", she stated and he nodded. Is he going to leave me with her alone? I held Hobi's hand and shook my head in negation. I don't want to be alone with strangers.

"Nari, trust me. I am not going to hurt you or treat you badly. I will just have a small talk and Mr. Jung can come in after a few minutes", she mouthed but no, I don't want to be with her. I looked at Hobi with pleading eyes and he smiled, petting my head.

"It will be for a short time, Nari. The doctor is nice. She will be friendly to you. Don't worry. I'll be back, okay?", he tried to assure me but I don't want him to leave. He left my hand and walked out showing a smile. Why is everyone trying to leave me?

"Nice to meet you, Nari. Can I call you just Nari?", she asked and I nodded in positive. She looks like an elderly woman in her early 50s. She smiled at my response and got up from her seat to come towards my side. She pulled another chair and got seated in front of me.

"I know it's hard on you and if I say I am here to make you feel better, I would be lying. Because what is haunting you could only be solved by you. I might give you a push but I don't even know if it would work with you", she started and I nodded. No one can get my Seo Joon back.

"How are you feeling?", she asked and I smiled. How can she ask that when she knows I am suffering from inside? When she knows my conditions, can't she tell how much the torment is crumbling my spirits?

"I don't feel myself. I am not able to think. I am not able to do anything. I am starting to doubt myself. I can't believe anything. I am not sure if they are telling the truth. I want to wait for him. I don't want to believe anyone's words. I just can't say anything about what I feel now", I mumbled and my eyes glistened, at the thought of being so vulnerable

"Yet, you spoke so much. You didn't feel anything but told all that you are facing. Nari, do you want proof that Mr. Seo Joon is not alive?", she asked and my eyes widened.  Seo Joon is not alive and she has proof? 

I looked at her searching for something and my body started shivering. Seo Joon is not alive? He is gone? No, no, this can't happen. I can't imagine my life without him.

"This is the report of the bus accident that happened three months. The bus that your boyfriend traveled in. Here is the number of people who lost their lives and their names", she passed me the file and I looked at the list. His name should not be there. His names should not be there, I prayed but no one listened to my prayers.

"Seo Joon", I covered my mouth on looking at the list. No, this can't be. He can't be dead. HE can't. Tears rolled down my cheek like a broken dam and my heart is torn apart into the pieces. I remember ajhumma asking to read the newspaper regarding the accident but I never listened to her. Is this the reason? My Seo Joon is not alive anymore?

"He is reported as one of the deceased since his body is missing along with a few. Had he been alive Nari, the report would be revised. But none of that happened, Nari. Did Seo Joon get any bruise when he was back home?", she asked and I shook my head in negation. He came without a bruise.

"Does he hold things and pass them to you?", she asked and I shook my head in negation. I have seen him holding things but he never passed me one.

"Did you call him after that accident? Did he answer any of your messages and calls?", she asked and I shook my head in negation. He never replied to any of my messages and I thought it was because he is busy. 

"Did you feel him as real?", she asked and I realized how I felt his touch was after that accident.

"No", I cried holding my head. My Seo Joon can't die. He promised to not leave me. He promised he will stay together with me for a lifetime. No, he can't just die like that. 

"Nari, I know whatever I speak will not help you, but this is the truth. Seo Joon is not alive and all that you see is your imagination. You need to come out of it", she spoke and did something on her phone. I can't do this. I just can't believe this. My Seo Joon, I cried out loud and heard the door creaking open.

"Nari", I could hear Hobi and I immediately got up to hug him. I can't see my Seo Joon anymore. My love, my Seo Joon is not alive. I hugged him tight and sobbed out loud. He held my back and rubbed it. 

"Please take me away from here", I cried, clutching his arms.

"I will take her from now", Hobi spoke and pulled me outside.

Life was never horrible than this.

• • •

"Take care, Nari ah. I will come back at night. I wish I could stay with you but I need to go. Ajhumma will be there okay?", he mouthed and I nodded. I feel lifeless. I wish I was not born. I wish I don't exist.

"Ajhumma, take care of her", he told her and walked out of the shop. 

"I will go to my room", I told her and she nodded. 

I walked to my room and sat on the bed, with my head resting on the headboard. Why is everything so hard? 

I sighed and lied down thinking about everything that happened till today. And suddenly I felt a hand around my waist. I turned to the side and my eyes widened at the person beside me.

"Seo Joon?"

***°***

Something off the serious mood now