"you're an idiot, Harry Styles," she had laughed at him, and his heart pounded at the sight of her, so beautiful and young and his best friend that he couldn't take it.

He had wanted to kiss her. Oh, how he had wanted to kiss her.

It was nearing Christmas, and it was snowing lightly, providing a dusting on her hair and on her shoulders and he had swiped the snow off, pointing out, "it's late, we should go home."

And she had smiled at him and said, "but i like hanging out with you."

And Harry Styles had sworn that he hadn't loved her more than anytime else in that moment; how her eyes had shone and how the snow brought out the gray flecks in her eyes and how well he knew her to know that she was serious so Harry Syles did something stupid, but he never regretted it.

He had kissed her.

He had kissed her when they were fourteen, and it was both of them's first kiss, and really, Harry wouldn't have wanted it to be with anyone else because even though he was fourteen and young, he really, really loved Bailey Williams and that's all that mattered to him.

Now, Harry was sitting there, watching as flour fluttered around Bailey's shoulders like snow and he couldn't help but think of their first kiss, and he wanted to kiss her again, oh, he really wanted to kiss her again.

And she had just him that she loved him still, and he still loved her even after all these years apart and really, couldn't he kiss her?

So he leaned forward and pressed his lips to her and closed his eyes and Bailey kissed him back, her hand moving up to touch his face gently and he couldn't help but take a step forward and scoop her up and place her on the counter and continue kissing her.

Gasping, she pulled away and looked at him. "You must have really missed me," she commented dryly and Harry's confidence rose and he nodded.

"I've missed you," he said. "I would always think about you."

"AndI would think about you," Bailey replied. "I couldn't get you out of my head."

"I wanted to come visit you, but I couldn't," Harry whispered, and Bailey shushed him with another kiss.

"Shh, Harry, it doesn't matter, you're here now, and that counts for something."

And Harry grinned and he kissed her again because really, he couldn't help it. "And I'm not leaving again."

...

And now, it seems, that asking out a girl is even harder at age twenty than it was at age fifteen, which was when Harry asked out Bailey the first time.

"Hey, Bay?" He had asked, fingers twisting together nervously as butterflies tickled his stomach. He had chided at himself for thinking this way, this was Bailey, his best friend , they've known each other since birth and he had kissed her a few times in the past year and the point of him asking her out was so he could kiss her properly, and whenever he pleased.

"Yeah?"She had asked, turning around and furrowing her eyebrows.

And Harry swore his heart thumped in his chest,because God, she was so beautiful. "W-Will," he stuttered.

Bailey had smiled, completely unaware of the turmoil going on in Marsh's head and heart. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Er- yeah," he has said absently, much more concerned with what he had to say than what he could say. "But- will yougooutwithme?"

"Sorry?" She had laughed; his heart gave another painful thump. "Honestly, Harry, you talk so slow until you need to tell me something, the you speed up."

Harry had sighed, not particularly happy with the fact that he had to repeat his sentence, but he did it again. He would do anything for her. "W-Will you go out with me? Like to the movies?"

Bailey had gaped at him, mouth ajar. "Like, on a date?" She clarified.

Harry had blushed but he stuck to what he had asked. "Yeah, like a date. With me. That is, if you even want to go..."

A large smile had spread across Bailey's face and she felt excitement fill her soul. Finally, finally, Harry had asked her out. Why would she say no? Harry Edward Styles had had her heart since they met, that was just how it was. So she had said, "Yes, I'd love to go on a date with you."

Harry's smile, his beautiful smile that made Bailey's heart beat a little faster since the first day she saw it, all those years ago, had spead across his face wider than she had ever seen.

"Really?" He had asked.

Bailey had laughed. "Yes, really, you bloody idiot, that's what I said, isn't it?"

Harry had blushed and dammit, she always had this affect on him, ever since they got older and he noticed that his best friend was beautiful. She always made him feel like this, ever since they were two.

And now, at age twenty, after knowing Bailey for twenty years and loving her for ten, he felt like he was fifteen again, nervous and gittery and young and now Bailey seemed to notice he was quiet.

"What's going on in that mind, Harry Styles?" She asked, stirring the batter still.

"Nothing," he replied. "Just that you're beautiful."

Bailey blushed. "Right. Keep telling yourself that."

"You are," he insisted.

"I'm covered in flour," she pointed out.

"And you look beautiful,"Harry countered.

"Harry Styles," Bailey said, pausing in her movements and looking at him. "You have a beautiful, beautiful heart."

Harry was about to take the complement, but he noticed something in her tone that didn't suit him. "Why are you sounding like you're saying goodbye?"

Bailey turned from her bowl of cookie batter to face him, an apologetic look on her face. "Because this is goodbye, Harry. You aren't staying. You're going to leave again."

And Harry felt like his heart was breaking again, because it wasn't fair, how could he come back and have her again and loose her in a matter of fifteen minutes? "You called me Harry," he whispered.

"That's your name," Bailey said softly. "Isn't it?"

"Not to you," Harry said and his throat was tight and the lump was getting larger and his voice shook as be tried not to cry. "Not to you."

Bailey looked at him pitifully. "I'm sorry, but it's for the best. You shouldn't even have come back."

"How can you say that?" He choked out. "I told you I would see you again."

"I didn't plan on you coming back," she said softly, coming to put her hand on top of Harry's; he jerked it back, ignoringb the hurt look on her face.

"But I did, because I promised. Because I love you," Harry said.

And why did Bailey, his Bailey still have this look on her face like she never had before?

"Don't say that," Bailey said, closing her eyes tight.

"You said it too," Harry shot back. "And that's not fair. If you were going to send me away, why did you say you loved me too and let me kiss you?"

Now Bailey looked pained too. "Because I do!"

And his heart was breaking as he said brokenly "thenwhy-"

Bailey looked down, twisting her apron between her fingers. "My mum wants me to marry someone named Garrett."

Harry stopped in his tracks. "What? What happened to you in four years, Bailey? Because the Bailey I knew would never listen to her mum."

"The Baily you knew was sixteen," she shot back. "I grew up, which you evidently haven't, as you're still acting like a whining sixteenhear old who got rejected."

Harry took a step back. "Well,what would you expect me to do if the only girl I've ever loved told me she was marrying someone else? God, Bailey, I love you so much and you're just going to walk away from me."

That hit home, and she took half a step back, her eyes filling with tears before she turned back around to her cookies and muttered, "I'm sorry."

And Harry Styles could recognize a goodbye, so he turned and left, letting the tears stream down his face as he pulled up his shirt to cover his face from the public; he didn't need people talking to him because he had just lost the only girl he'd ever loved again.

___________________________________________________

A.n. I'm sorry.