Twaz zee nite brefour crismaz and nobody wounld shut up 4 five seconds! Not even Charly. Everyone was happy (exept thre angsyt teenagers but fuck em) and was partying. Well exept Junko.

"This sucks! There is not any despair to be seen!" Junko groaned

Everone ever really liked crimas an lot

But Junk Enoshima, the ultimrnt desprair did'not!

She no like christma! the hole Christmas seson!

Plz don't ask me why. I'm just an moron with terribole gramor, I wouldn't no the reason.

It can be cuz her tie waz to tite.\

It cod be cuz she brain wasn't work quite right

But the most likly reason of all

Is thet the amount of despar was thre million times too small.

Butt whatever reason, her brane or her tie,

She knew al them hopeful idiots needed to die.

And we'll skyp the rest of this ryme fore now,

What ken I say? I just une lazy cow.

"Why four some unkown amount of time I put up with this now!

Me must stop chrimas frum cuming! But how!?"

The she get idea, an aful idea!

JUNO GOT AN SUPER AWFUL, WONDERFUL\ IDEA!!!!!!

"I nos just wat 2 doo" Joonko chuckled in she throat and she stole a sant hat & coaty

Ansd she laughed like a fukin phycotic dick, "What a great despair filled absolutlee bootiful trick!"

"All I need is an raindeer...." Junk loked around, but none colud be found, what an unfornat circumcise.

"Oh yeah, I kill they all..." Junko realize, "I guess i'll just have to improvise."

"Sis, get yor ass in here! I need u to be my reindear!"

Mukuro furrow she brow, "wut? why I do that?"

Junko waslked right over to her and slapped mukuron in the face, "Why must yu bee such a disgrace?!"

Mukuro was sh00k, "why yuo do tht Junko? I didn't do nothin :( You are so meen!"

"You're supposed to be ryming thet is the rule! Why must you be such a fool?"

Despite Mukureo's protests Junko took out some thred, and tied some random branch to her head.

She loaded the bags whil doing a spin

She sat onn the beast monkuma and hitched up she twin.

Then Junok sadi "Giddap you useless fatass!" asd mukuro pulled the BeastKuma down,

Towards  wher all the hope freaks partied in town.

Meanwhile there was party happen @ Wright an Co Law Offices and it twas pretty cool. Peeps were getting fat on food and gett drunck.

"Ie can't wate 2 c Santa!" say Trucy

"but santa not real!" objrect Kockichi

"But do yo has proof?" Trucy askde

"ye" but befor Koockichii can finish sentence Aollo uppercut he in face

"Don u dar ruin her innocence!!!!!!!!!!!!" Apollo screech

"But I just tell trooth"

"Nu you a lier, you always tell lie! That what u do all the time!"

"Oh yeh"

All uv a suden Santa!Junko smash threw wall, "Ho, ho, ho! Guess who's hear bitches!"

"OMG it santah!" Trucy beem

But before jonku coud do any despair stuff, something rlly weird happen. Some bootleg Santa lookign thing broke throuh the roof.

"the heck is thet?" Mukuro question

"I am Soonta!!! And I hate Santa, Santa suckz!!!! So u musgt die Senta!"" Soonta falcon punched Junko back onto the montain. He jumped bach through the ceeling holle, satisfied. Nobody undersand wat happen and continu partying like nothing happen.

"r u ok sis?" Mukuro poke junko

"Yeah, it waz despair so it gud. Wait," Junko pondered "that guy rlly hated Santa, we can form an alliance with he!"

"Why?" 

"He ca kill santa and eveyon will be sad cuz Sasnta's ded"

"k"

Junko stated to d0o the steritypical evil laugh befor coughing 7 623 298.0001 times.

Five hours past and everyone at party was getting board. But tthey also didn';t want two leeve cuz they too lazy. then something hit window, bang!!!

"Wat was that?" Maya ask

"idk" repl phoenix "Aplolo u check it out"

"What? Why me?" Apolo say

"shrug" Phonix shrudhg

"Fine" Apple turn to Mui, "Kan you come wit me babe?"

"lol nope" say miu

"okay..."

Wen aplo chech he see some deer collapsed on the grond, "wtf?!"

"Hey! You bettar wach you're mouth!" say the reindeer "Anyway the santaland place is in danger cuz some weirdos murdured everyone."

"Okay, I tell everone" Apollo went to explain stuff to the others.

"Wowie, thayt pretty bad" say maya " well I guess we got save cristmas"

"But how we do it, that sound pretty hard" Phoenix say as Miu was doing a lenny face in the backgrond becuz ov what phone say.

"No not relly, anything can sav Christmas, even the telitubbies." Maya explain " Me and my burger husband discussed this, I still miss him."

"Aighty les go!" Phodix jump on raindeer back, but it nocked him off.

"Gurl, don'tchu jump on my bacc! That's off limits!" 

MEanwhile the bad boys was beating up elfs in da northe pull. 

"Hell yeh this is awesome!" squee Junk "I cn't belive I didn't do this sooner! I should do this every yeer!"

"But sis, arent we gon kill santa? We can't make it a yealty thing if he ded" say Muk

"Whaterver it is not of matter!"

"Ware us santah at?" asc Soonta "I wana kill em!"

"idk, we gotta find him" anser Jucko 

"u'll never find him!" say elf 

"yeah we will!" Junko stab the elf in the jugular with her long ass nails

elf was dieing, "Youll never get awya with this!"

"we already has! Mwahahahahahaha! DESPAIR!"

Meanwile the good guys was pondering stuff. "How we gon gat to da nort pole?" say write 

Than suddenlee, Yasuhero apered! "wat do u want" say may 

"I heard that bad guys wanna ruin crimus, so I gonna help u stahp em!" Yasu explam

"ok fine, u cen help. we'll du a truce for now" Maya agree

"butt we stil dun no how to get to santa land!" say feenix

"well I am ghost so I can just fly over" yas said

"yeh but we can't"

"Well actuly me and Miu can fly with our double ahoges so maybe we could carry u guys" Apol suggest 

"sounds good" phoenix reply

so they all grabbed hold uv Apollop and Miou and they spun their ahoges super fast and took off into sky! Unfortuntly it waz gionna take like 2 hours so we're gonna check back up on the bad guys. 

Soonta break down dor, "where r u santa? we're not gonna hurt u, just kill u! Actually, we'll probly hurt you too."

"y would you tell him dat? hell never come out now" Murkrow sigh 

Junko bitchslap her "stfu sis, we'll just have 2 find him!" 

"oh ok" 

Mukro see a blanket on ground, and it was trembling! She go over and pull iit of the grond, Sangta was under it! "found him guys"

"Good job sis, you did something right 4 once!"

"thanks" 

"who ar u gus?" ask santa

"we are your killers!" answer soonta

"nooooooooooo, dont do it! I'll get Mr wright to put you in jail. And Ill be the judge and give you death sentevnce!"

"Wait, ur the judge?" mukuro ask confuse

"yeah"

"sense when wer u santa?"

"I've always been santa" 

"Oh no matter, ur gonna di e now!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" 

Finaly, the goody two shoes' crash landed into the north pole. 

"okay were here" say edgyworth "now we gotta find the bad guys be4 they kill santa claus!" 

"ok but were is he?" ask truce 

"idk we gotta look" say phonydix 

then they herd a screm! they run towards it and see soonta mukuro and junko beating up  Santa!Judge with a basball bat with smike and fire on it!

"hey stop murgdering santa u buttholes!" Yashoiro yell

"no, santa must die for his sins!" soonta screech 

"what he do to deserve this?" Maya ask

"he dumb and make dudes happy" the bad dudes say 

"that dumb"

"no u"

Maya gasp, "how dar u!" she go over to one punch they but soonta does his super soonta epic counter and she go flying into a wall! "Ouchie ouch"

"Maya are u okie?" phoenick ask in concern

"yeh im fine nick" maya get up "how we beat these guys?" 

"we gotta use the power of chrismas sperit!" yasuhiro sauy

"wat> how we do that?" 

"we gotta summon the crimus burger!" yasu wisper 

"but how we do TRHAT?" 

"ur a spirit medum, just contact him and get him to give us his power!"

"oh yeh" maya summoned the burger

"what do u mortales want?" ask crimers burger

"we need ur power to beat these fools"

"okay" he granted thme his power temporarily 

"Oh no" say the bad boyos

"ur gonna get boned sucker!" yasu and mayo said as they stuffed the bad boys in to a giant burger bun and launched it into space. "bye losers!"

"thank u both for saving chismas," say Santa!Judge "would yall like to ride mt slay ton ight?"

"Hell yeah dude!" Yasu cheer. Then they all somehow fit into santa sleigh. 

"On Daser and Dancing Queen and Prancer and Vixen-" santa!Judge was say

"wait isn't vixen a fox name?" Apollo ask

"SHUT UP APOLLO U RUIN EVERYTHINg1' Phoesnix screem 

"Sorry :(" apool frown

"On Comet and Qupid and Doner and blitzen! And also my stupid clown noesd, Rudolph"  Judge!Santa pull th reins and they flew off into da sky!

"How do deer fly and how woult one of their nose glow and how u remember all ther names?" Apollo ask

"With Cristma Magic!" reply Santa!Judge

"Ho ho ho! Yall are hoes!" Miu yell @ the world. And thus children all over began to repeat that phrase over and over, causing parents to mad! Becuz of this, Miu was now on the naughty list, and she was proud of it!"

The bad boys were still in the burger in space. "We would've gotten away wiyt it if it weren't for thoise meddling burger-addicts!" Junko growl

"And their stupit burger gost two!" Soonta add

"Hey sis-"

"Wut do yu want Mukro?! THIs better be gud or I'llk kill you!"

"What's that?" Mukuro point @ alien spacship!

"oh no" Junk gape as they was taken into spaceship. "Mukero this is all yer fult!"

"Wat how?"

"because u smell so bad that they came right to us!":

"oh, sorry...."

"yer so useless, you better think of a way out or I sear to god Ill-"

"Maybe we cen join forces?"

"THEYRE ALENS THAY WONT LISEN!"

"But if we tell them about te burg addicts..."

"OOOOOOOOOH! Woow, u said somting smart for once!"

"Yay do I get prize?"

"yeh" junko punch mukro in the nose

"oucjies why u do that?"

"that's your prize, despait is ur prize!"

"That's a stupid reward..."

"SHUT UP DEPAIR IS GR8T!" she slam murko face into floor, "now then lets go tem up with some aliens!"

"How'd I get myslef stuck with these psychos?" Soontya think

Fun fact, this chapter was supposed to come out LAST YEAR. But I wasn't able to finish it so I waited till next year, which is now. Stay tuned for the super epic next chapter of Yasuhiro and Maya x Burger: Despair, Crimus and Aliens, Oh My! Hopefully it doesn't take a whole year to finish... Is this even about Yasuhiro and Maya fighting over a burger anymore? Trust me, I'll get back to that eventually, but right now we need aliens!