A/N cutie_wolfy_ecah I found this one in the comedy section for u

Thing: Wake up!

Sam: What the hell? Its 3AM

Thing: You were having a bad dream.

Sam: I know. I was there.

Thing: it was Really Hurting my Stomach.

Sam: What? That doesn't make any sense.

Sam: Who I this? If this is a Prank From Taurtis I am not Amused.

Thing: I Do not know what a Taurtis is. But I can Assure you I am not that.

Thing: I'm the thing.

Sam: ?

Thing: the thing that lives underneath your bed.

Sam: If thats true, Tap on the bed frame Twice.

Sam: I Knew it! I knew you were real!

Sam: You know my parents still laugh at me for using a nightlight.

Thing: theres really no need for that thing.
Its Irritatingly Bright.

Sam: its the brightest kind there is.

Thing: I can tell.
I don't know how you sleep.

Thing: if you could turn that off it would be Great, then I could sleep better too.

Sam: No way, not going to happen.

Thing: Alright, we'll save that for another Night. But thats not why I'm texting you.

Sam: How are you texting me? How did you get a phone?

Thing: You left one here a couple of weeks ago. I assumed it was for me so I could talk to you.

Thing: you could have made it alot easier to unlock though.

Sam: That wasn't meant for You it fell off my bed! My parents forced me to pay the replacement fee.

Thing: Sorry! If I had money I'd reimburse you, but all thats down here is Random clothes and a tennis Racket.

Thing: (but no ball Sadly) :(

Thing: Anyway I was texting you because your bad dreams are making me sick, and Slimey.

Thing: there causing me to Break out with Bad Acne, and is giving my Skin ugly Boils.

Sam: How can I have Good dreams when you are down there Tormenting me?

Thing: I am not Tormenting you.

Sam: what about all those gurgly Slimy Sounds?

Thing: the bad dreams give me Terrible Indigestion.

Sam: And the crunching sounds?

Thing: all the bugs that live down Here. I keep stepping on them.

Thing: its actually Really messy down here like you haven't cleaned for years. I'd hate to see the rest of your room.

Sam: THERE ARE BUGS?

Thing: Yeah Ants, Centipedes, Spiders.

Sam: WHAT THERE ARE SPIDERS UNDER MY BED?!

Thing: a Huge nest.

Sam: OMG GET THEM AWAY.

Thing: Don't worry. I Step on them before they escape.

Thing: I know most of your dreams involve spiders and me, which by the way, I dont have thousands of tentacles and I certainly don't eat human beings.

Thing: but if I did have thousands of tentacles then it would be easier to Stop the bugs from escaping.

Sam: You actually stop them from reaching me.

Thing: yes! I can't afford to have you fall asleep scared. Anymore bad dreams and I'll probably die.

Sam: how do I know your not just saying his to lure me into a false sense of security?

Thing: there's nothing for me to gain by scaring you.

Sam: I've read Calvin and Hobbes. I know what terrible creatures you guys are.

Thing: I swear to you thats not how we are. That comic is very misleading, and very mischaracterizing.

Sam: Sureee then I'll take one step out of bed, an you'll pull me under and Rip me to Shreds.

Thing: look. I'm like a dream cathcer of sorts. I live off of dreams.

Thing: I don't eat meat or humans to be quite honest.

Thing: though I do like the concept of ice cream. I wouldn't mind trying it one day.

Sam: Okay, So assuming you do live off of dreams, what am i supposed to do about it?

Thing: stop having bad ones. If you have a good dream then I will feel better.

Thing: no more slime, no more boils. Maybe I'll even Lose some weight!

Thing: I Promise you there is nothing to fear.

Thing: Except maybe my cousin, the thing that lives inside your closet.

Sam: WHAT!?!

Thing: Kidding. kidding. Bad joke. I promise.

Thing: but seriously, If I keep having bad dreams I will probably diem

Sam: I dont know if I can force myself to have good dreams.

Thing: think of it this way: I'm not some evil creature living under your bed.

Thing: AND - I'm protecting you from spiders and other bugs

Thing: as long as I am around the things you fear most won't harm you.

Sam: I Guess. But I still don't trust you.

Thing: Thats alright, just believe me.

Sam: Okay, but can I sleep now? I have to wake up in a couple of hours.

Thing: alright, fine. We can talk about this again later.

Thing: Sweet dreams. :)