I was putting on a mint green dress with gold embroidery on its borders and chest and a white scarf wrapped into a hijab style as we walked into the restaurant. The maître d,' a tall dark lanky guy with bald head and a smile that was obviously forced greeted us with a bow before leading us to our table. I walked, my hand joined to Amir's arm, a small Louis Vuitton gold purse in my other hand held close to my hip, my white Louboutin stiletto sandals clicked inaudibly on the black linoleum floor of the restaurant.

An orchestra played soft slow music which played at the background of the almost noisy restaurant. The restaurant was almost packed with men dressed in designer suits, shirts and trousers and women glammed up in silk, expensive jewelleries and pretty hairstyles. As we passed a table with two men cladded in suit talking and viewing files in their hands, a tiny seductive giggle eloped from another table right in front of us where a young white lady probably in her early twenties was sitting opposite a man looking like he was in his fifties.

I gazed up at my husband my face glowing with excitement. Amir wore a black three piece Armani suit I had chosen for him paired with a white Calvin Klein shirt without a tie and had left the first three buttons showing the bulge of his chest which seemed to tease me and a black Italian shining leather shoe which I had found sitting in his shoe rack. His hair was groomed to perfection and jelled which made his honey wheat eyes stand out giving his face an extraordinary striking attractive look.

When he had stepped out of the closet dressed up, my heart had stumbled many times at the sight of him and I had taken in deep air. He was breath taking. I had a smile that reached my ears making the muscles in my cheeks throb as he stepped up to me, left a lingering kiss on my forehead and told me I was looking pretty. Tingling heat had rose up to my cheeks. The dress I wore was given to me by my husband. It was a surprise which he had refused to show me the day before when he had brought it home. He wanted to give me when I had only accepted to go on a date with him.

The maître d' bowed again after showing us our table which was by the window looking over the night of London then left. I settled down on one of the black upholster sofa with a round table which had white table cloth with thin gold patterns, flowers whose fragrance lingered in the romantic air and a candle stand with thin white candles in the middle of the table. I placed my purse beside the gold napkin and silver cutleries. Amir smiled at me, his eyes gleaming with joy as he sat opposite me.

The lights of the restaurant were dimmed but not too dim not to see who was with you. With an orchestra playing at the background, there was a romantic aura in the air.

"How do you like the place?" Amir asked reaching for my hand over the table.

"It is beautiful" I answered.

I turned to look out through the glass window with long embroidered curtains, pulled apart. London was mesmerizing at night. With brilliant light from buildings illumining the night, the moonless night had no effect on the city. I could sight the Thames from where I sat. Mahira was right. With boats dotted on it and light reflecting into the water, the Thames was beautiful.

"You should check your menu and know what you will like to have" Amir's voice had me turning back to him.

I picked up the menu on my left and checked what I wanted to have. A waiter came just in time, asked for our orders and walked away. I leaned forward, placing my elbows on the table, my chin on my joined hands.

"You said your family own HM Incorporation. What kind of businesses are you into?"

"We own real estate business, Construction Company, hotels, resorts and restaurants around the world" he replied gladly.

"Wow, that's a lot" I answered amused. They own so much. How do they control them? "So are we in one of your hotels right now?"

"No" he shook his head negatively. "I have a surprise for you" he said as I leaned back into my seat.

"Really? Another one?" I replied with a twitch on my lips.

"You don't want it? If you don't I will keep it?" he said playfully.

"Oh no, I really want to know it" the waiter came back with our food. "What is it?" excitement vibrated through my bones.

"I planned a honeymoon for us" he broke his surprise. The waiter bowed and left.

My hand froze on the spoon I had picked up. My lips parted a bit as I looked up at him with surprise. If we were not in a public place, I would have screamed, jumped and hugged him tight.

"Ya Allah!" I gasped still surprised.

"We are living London for a month. I don't know what you want but I had thought you should visit Nigeria. You must be missing home" he said beginning to eat when I could not eat.

"Amir" I called delicately still amused.

"Yes habibti, I thought about Prague and you get to choose two other places you want to visit"

Words were stuck in my throat. I had nothing to say except open and close my mouth trying to talk. I had never thought about a honeymoon.

"Don't you like the idea?" he asked with a little furrow of his eyebrows.

"I love it. It is just surprising. I have never thought about a honeymoon" I said truthfully.

"So, where do you want to go for our honeymoon?"

"Thailand and Makkah for Umrah. We will spend ten days in Makkah. I have always wanted to go there. I have seen the Ka'abah a lot on television and I think this is my chance to visit Makkah. It will be more amazing with my husband with me" I gushed.

"That's an amazing idea. Then wifey, let's prepare for our unforgettable honeymoon"

"Oh Amir" I called as my heart fluttered.

"You call my name so much whenever I do something nice. There is a certain tone that makes it seductive"

"Amir" I called blushing.

"You should eat. We will talk better. I have a place I want to take you to" he said and began to eat.

Still blushing, I began to eat unable to tame the flame on my cheeks.

***

"We are here" Amir spoke pulling the gear to park. I raised my head up and looked around.

After having an amazing dinner, Amir decided to take me to where he wanted to.

"Where are we?"

"At the beach" he replied unhooking his belt. I did the same thing and got down.

With my hand hooked around his arm, we walked towards the beach. Our footsteps were silent on the soft sand of the beach that moved under the force of our shoes. The sound of water rushing over shore and sweeping back into the ocean mingled with the silent whisper of the wind. I found it hard to walk due to my heels that kept digging into the sand. Halting, Amir did the same thing.

"What's wrong?" he asked with concern.

"My heels keep digging into the sand" I said as I bent down to pull them off. Amir bent down surprising me. "What do you want to do?"

"I want to pull your heels off" I laughed out pushing his hand away.

"You sure know how to make a woman's heart fluster" I said smiling at him. "Really? You are acting like a gentleman"

"So I am not a gentleman"

"No" he took my hand away and began to unbuckle the right sandal. "You are adorable" I said pecking him after he pulled off my sandals.

"I know" he teased. I spouted putting my hand in his.

We sat down on a log looking at the ocean far ahead of us. The wind that blew was harsh and strong causing the waves to be strong against the shore. I placed my head on Amir's shoulder keeping our interlocked hands on his lap. Behind us, there was a beach party with music pumping hard and people scattered around mostly couples. Few metres away from us, a teenage couple ran into the water screaming and wetting each other's clothes. Beside a rock, few people sat around a fire listening to someone playing guitar. I dragged my feet on the soft sand which glided smoothly on my feet. Looking down, I dipped my leg into the little hole I had created pressing my feet into it and lifting sand on my toes.

"You remembered that day in Nigeria, when you called me on your henna night to meet me" he began to talk.

How could I forget? The memories of that night kept coming back, rushing through my brain like a video. That night was when I told him my biggest secret. It was the night I had cried like I had never and I had been scared as though I was about to be killed by my worst nightmare. I suddenly felt hot and my pores squeezed out water. Why is he bringing it up again? My hold on him loosened lifting my head from his shoulder.

"Yes" I managed to talk but my voice was just a squeak.

"When you told me you had aborted that pregnancy" My heart raced faster at what he was going to say next. "It was shocking" he smiled a bit. "I was not expecting it, Angel. I thought you were lying at first. I was hurt" My gut twisted with fear. Where is this conversation going to? "Your tears hurt more" he turned to look at me. I trembled, my skin grazed with cold sweat. Ya Allah! What's happening to me? "I walked out that day because I knew if I sit with you, I might end up weeping for you. I saw so much pain in you, Angel, so much agony" he took my trembling hands.

"Why are you bringing this up?" I asked, my voice beginning to shudder.

"Because, I want you to know that no matter what kind of life you had lived in the past, it won't change a thing I feel for you" he pulled me closer.

Subhanallah! I pressed my lips together, my body wrecked with fear.

"Amir" I called pulling away. "This is unbelievable" I stood up and took few steps towards the ocean. Chills danced up my spine "This can't be real. No man will still want to end up with a woman like me after knowing I killed my pregnancy" I turned back to look at him. "There is something wrong somewhere. You should be disgusted and not calm and understanding. Amir, I had a one night stand" I almost yelled frustrated.

Why is he so calm despite everything? It was true. No man will want a woman who killed the baby in her womb? They won't understand but he did.

"Hayati" he breathes out getting up. My eyes wandered with fear. The organ in my chest pumped hard against my ribcage that I could hear it. His hands got hold of my waist gripping it gently under his palms before moving my fear stricken body to his. "You won't understand" he whispered caressing my forehead with his lips. His soft lips stayed on my forehead much longer than I expected.
I wanted to ask him what I do not understand. I wanted to know the meaning behind his words but I decided there was no need to push it further if I do not want to be reminded of my miserable deeds. I placed my palms on his chest welcoming the feeling of his lips on my forehead. It is better to enjoy the moment while it lasts.

"When do you want us to leave for our honeymoon?" Amir asked when we sat back on the wood log.

"I could have said very soon but" I placed my head on his broad shoulder. He smelt musky and manly, a scent that had always intoxicated me and caused troubles in my heart, mind and body.

"With everything going on at home, it will be wrong to leave so quickly. How about a week later?" I looked up at him.

Amir's lips stretched. His eyes had emotions I could not figure out. The way he stared at me with eyes so mesmerizing that they made my stomach flip and heart drum faster, I just could not cut off my gaze from him. His index finger laid under my chin raising my face up to look deeper inside my eyes. What's going on in his mind?

"Anti oyuin hilwiin" he said in Arabic. What does he mean? He speaks Arabic to me but I do not understand a single word. I groaned taking my head away from his shoulder.

"I asked you a question Amir and you are replying in a language I do not understand" I pointed out peeved at what he just did.

"If you know what I just said, you would be blushing" he replied.

"Blushing?" I huffed crossing my arms around my chest.

"Yes" he nodded gently, his hair moving slightly to his movement. "I think it is the best"

"What is the best?" I asked clueless. He laughed manly throwing his head back. How can a man's laughter be so beautiful that it is so alluring and charming?

"That we should leave for our honeymoon a week later" he held my hand. Looking into my eyes, he brought the back of my hand to his lips. There was sensation on that spot he placed his lips on. "Anti Jamila jiddon" his voice was soft, smooth and gentle giving me an intimidating gaze that made my legs shiver.

"There we go again with Arabic" I snorted. He laughed again this time showing his perfectly aligned teeth.

"I said you have beautiful eyes" he whispered to my face. His warm minted breath which waved against my skin stimulated some unknown feeling in me. "I also said you are very beautiful" he said refusing to tear his gaze from my eyes.

My heart flipped faster in my chest. I dropped my eyes taking the left side of my lower lip in between my teeth, my cheeks turning red to his compliments. He just called me beautiful and said I have beautiful eyes.

"I told you" he pointed at my cheeks smiling. "You would blush if you knew what I had said"

"Amir" I slapped his chest playfully laughing. He laughed wrapping his arms around me and bringing me into his broad chest. My nostrils became inflamed with his scent. Amir, what are you doing to me?

We stayed cuddled together for long, our chest moving up and down. With his arms around me, I felt warm from the chilling breeze of the night.

"Sherifah loved the beach" he broke the comfortable silence. "Almost every time, she would tell me to bring her here. She loved playing with water. Ali hated the beach. He had phobia for large waters like swimming pools, seas, oceans, rivers and streams just like you. He hated bath tubs. He preferred shower cubicles to them" he chuckled lightly at the memory. I drew away from him. "I miss them so much" he looked up at the sky.

I wished I could see his eyes. They said the eyes say what is in the mind. Even though Amir does not show his emotions, his eyes tell everything in his mind. I took his hand and took in long breath. Maybe this is the time to tell him mine. He had told me and showed me his pain, sorrow and emotions.

"My mum was murdered" I started in a low voice. "My father's twin who we knew nothing about killed her. He kidnapped my mother and Sister Amy. I don't know what happened. I remembered we were worried sick that night for both of them. A search began and by morning" my heart clamped together. I closed my eyes and pushed away the tears setting in my eyes. "Raihan came to my room. He was too shocked to speak. He just voiced out mum and I was sprinting down the staircase just to see her dead body in the middle of the living room" a tear dripped.

"That day, I was speechless. I was too shock to speak. I had fallen beside her body, tears dropping. I had nothing to say until later when I had yelled out for her and cried. She left me. That day they got kidnapped, mum had promised to take me out to get me a car the following day. I was twenty one and excited to get a car but it never happened because she left"

"Why did she leave? She promised to be with me through every aspect of my life. She said she will be there on my wedding day. She said she will dance and her gele would be so regal than any gele on that day. She said she will nurse my kids with me. We had dreams" I said, my voice tiny. Hot tears streamed down my face. "Why could she not be strong Amir? She could have been strong just for me" I cried out.

My shoulders shook to the sound of my cries. I held my head in my hands, water bursting forth like a spring from my eyes. Amir stood up noiselessly.

"After her death, I became who I never thought I will become. I became cold and heartless. I blamed her death on Sister Amy because she was there that night. Everyone hardly smile. My father became quiet. Brother Yusuf and I fought almost every day. Out of frustration one day, I ended up in a club. For Allah's sake, I was so foolish to think a club was where to let go of my sorrow. Amir I drank alcohol for the first time. I danced with men I don't know. I did haram things and ended up in bed with someone I can't remember" I paused and allowed my sobs flow out of my trembling lips. How bad I must have been?

The fact that I was telling him what I had done made my heart race with fear. What is he thinking? I do not know. How does he see me now? A bad girl without a heart in the past. A disgusting lady who had ended up in bed with a man she can't remember. A heartless woman who had killed her pregnancy. I did not know and he was not speaking. I heard the quiet shuffle of feet then I felt Amir's hands on my shoulder. I could not look up. I just cannot face him. Through my blurry vision, I saw his shoes. Amir lifted my head then wrapped his arms around him. I needed comfort so I accepted his by putting my arm around his waist and burying my head in his flat stomach.

I do not know how long I wept but I knew when I stopped crying, he wiped my tears, kissed my forehead and led me to the car without a word.

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