Tears split out of her eyes gushing down her face like a dam. She wailed wiping off her tears, her face forming funny faces. She sniffled again as more tears rolled down her cheeks, her eyes red from weeping. I glared at her irritated by her tears.

"Feyi, it is enough" Temi consoled running her hand through Feyi's shuddering back with sympathy on her face. It was as if Temi's words triggered more tears because she wailed louder.

"Why are you crying?" I asked tired she had not spoken a word since we arrived.

I was at home preparing for a special prayer that will take place in the evening for my mother when Temi called me and told me I should be at Feyi's house. That she had been weeping. I had to take excuse from home before leaving. For almost thirty minutes I have been here, Feyi kept weeping and no words left her quivering lips. The entire thing had begun to get annoying.

"It is Bamidele" she cried out.

"What did he do?"

"I thought he loved me. I thought he wanted to be with me but today" she hiccupped. "He called me and told me he wanted to take me out. We got to a jewellery store and he told me to choose a ring. I was happy. I thought he wanted to purpose to me just to tell me he was buying it for his girlfriend" she explained.

"Were you guys dating?" Temi asked.

"No!" She sobbed and I hissed. "I thought he wanted me. Most times, we hanged out. We go out to eat lunch, visit the cinema and spend some time together"

"Did he make any advance towards you?"

"No, I thought he wanted us to be friends first before asking me out"

"You were foolish Feyi" I snorted. "This guy never told you he wanted you. Just because you hanged out together and spend time together does not mean he wanted to date you or be with you. You took things the wrong way"

"But he calls every day to know about my wellbeing"

"Will you stop that nonsense abegi? Male friends do that. It is just like saying because Shittu is my friend and he calls every day means he want to have something to do with me" Temi released her giving her a dirty look. "He just wanted to be friends with you. He did not tell you anything about being with you and you expected a ring?" she hissed and I nodded my head at her words.

"Feyi, you have not know this guy for a month and you expected a ring. Will you say yes if he had proposed?"

"See what awon aye are doing to me" she placed her hands on her heads. "First it was Henry. The bastard wanted to take me to bed and now Bamidele. Why is my life like this?" she covered her face with her handkerchief blowing the liquid from her nose.

"Will you stop saying such vulgar words?" Temi scolded. "There is no aye doing you. You are doing yourself. You have to give yourself a break from guys Feyi. The right one will come soon"

"I am twenty four. I should have a constant boyfriend. Someone I should be thinking of marriage with"

"Twenty four is not old sweetie" I stood up and sat beside her. "You just need time. Wait and watch what God will do. Your man will come" I hugged her.

"Sorry eh" Temi said rubbing her back.

"Do not waste your tears for him" I wiped her tears. "He does not worth them. You are weeping here and he is thinking about how to propose to his girl. Don't cry again"

"Thank you so much" Feyi said her voice rough. "You make me feel better" she hugged me then Temi.

"I will leave now. We have a special prayer for my mother this evening. I have to leave"

"Awww" Temi made a face. "I will miss you. You are leaving Nigeria tomorrow"

"I will miss you" Feyi chipped wiping her tear stained face.

"No worries girls" I got up. "We shall be speaking on phone. I have to go now or I will be late" I hugged them.

"Bye" they shouted as I walked to the door.

The special prayer for my mother went well, Alhamdulillah. It took place in our living room where we spread out mats. The mallams who conducted it started with Qur'an recitation then supplication. It did not take long. The prayer was just a little bit over an hours. Brother Yusuf, Sister Amatullah and her mother together with their babies came. It was great seeing the twins again.

During the prayer, a profound sadness engraved everyone's face especially my grandmother who had not hidden her tears. Tears had rolled down her face silently and she had done nothing to wipe them away. My dad's eyes were red with emotions.

I on the other hand had my eyes filled with tears I did not allow to fall. My melancholy felt like a case grasping so many tears. It felt like pieces of glasses were sent into my soul and body. That was the pain. Every second that passed, her memories became thicker and clearer increasing the sorrow in my heart. What I felt during the whole session was grief, every other emotion driven out of my body.

Amir was also quiet. I do not know what the event reminded him of but I knew his eyes gave away what was in his heart which was grief.

"Serve them the bottled water first" I told Raihan placing the tray of bottled water in his awaiting hands. He nodded and went out of the kitchen.

After the prayer, dad had told the mallams they were to eat dinner. So immediately after Maghrib prayer, they were back to our house.

"What's taking so long Taiwo?" Sister Amatullah asked Raihana who was standing by the soup warming in the pot.

"It's almost done"

"Doyinsola mi" I heard my grandmother call. "You should send the food to the living room now. They are waiting"

"Sikira" I called the maid. "Take the cooler of semo to them" I ordered. She did as she was told.

"Tell Kenny to come back. I need his help" Sister Amy said putting plates, bowls and cups inside a tray as Sikira left the kitchen. "Noor the soup should be hot enough. Put it in the serving dish" She passed a serving dish with its lid over it to me.

"Raihana" I called getting her attention.

The urge to cry was there. It was powerful and the tears willed to roll down. I blinked pushing back my tears. Sooner or later, tears will spill. So I took excuse and left the kitchen. I let out the breath I never knew I was holding until I got upstairs. Along the hallway, my mother's picture was there so I stood in front of it staring at her. An ache that arrived during my quiet moments sets in. I wanted so much from her again, her care, her smile, her words, her prayers, her advice even her but I had to be realistic that my mother was gone and never coming back. A tear trundled down to my quivering lips. I remembered that day she wanted to go out with sister Amatullah, she had come to see me in my room.

"Noor" my mother called as I opened another page in the new novel I just got.

"Mum" I called sitting up on the bed. Mum smiled before stepping into my room and closing the door.

"What are you doing?" she sat beside me on the bed. I smiled checking the back of the book I held.

"I am reading a novel" I replied. She touched my head running her fingers through my hair. I noticed she was dressed up as if she wanted to go out. "Are you going somewhere?"

"Yes, I want to go out with Amatullah. I want to shop with her"
I don't know what sort of feeling became entrenched in my heart but I did not want her to go.

"Do you have to go?" I held her hand. She laughed putting her hand on my back.

"I promised her"

"But I don't want you to go" I laid my head on her shoulder.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just do not want you to go" I said suddenly nervous.

"You are shaking" mum held my hand raising my head up to look at her.

"I am nervous. I am just having an odd feeling. Will you come back soon?" My heart beat gently in my chest.

"Of course, I am not travelling Noor. I am within Lagos. In Sha Allah by evening we will be back" she kissed my forehead.

"Then pray for me" She laughed before praying for me. After her dua, she got up but I got hold of her hand. She raised an eyebrow at my gesture.

"Do you need anything?"

"Yes" I hugged her. "I just need your hug"

As she walked out, I stared at her back, a hand resting on my chest. There was fear and worry in me, feelings that felt terrible when combined together.

"That's reminds me" she turned back after she opened the door. "Where ever you go or find yourself, even if I am not there tomorrow, I love you Noor. I love you very much" I nodded my head at her words.

Only if I had known that feeling that day felt like something was going to happen. I would have stopped her from going. My tear glands erupted warm water spilling down my face. I felt my jaw quivered like a kid, my vision blurry. The quiet sounds I made were raw from inside filled with anguish. Drops of tears fell from my chin as I shook my head, my eyes closed. I placed a hand on my face as more water exploded unable to stop. My shoulder's trembled.
Manly hands turned me around and I laid my head on the person's chest. He embraced my trembling body, his hands rubbing my back.

"It's okay" Brother Yusuf said his chin on my head.

Comfort was what I needed and I was glad I got it the right time. I was sure he understood what was going on inside me. He knew how I felt and what I was missing but Brother Yusuf was someone who rarely shows his pain or sorrow. He prefers to hide them than bother someone with them.

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