Setting: Jolyne's house
Characters: Y/N, Joylne, Melone, Dr. Wu, Pucci, Gyro

Jolyne was shaking an unconscious Y/N, fear evident on her face.

Jolyne: Oh my god baby! Baby, wake up! Baby, please come back!

Abbacchio walks through the door in his police uniform.

Abbacchio: Police!

Jolyne: Officer!

Abbacchio: Paramedics and EMS are on their way.

Jolyne: Thank God!

Abbacchio started talking into his radio.

Abbacchio: I have a 25-year-old male, unresponsive, no pulse.

Jolyne: Come on you have to breathe...!

Abbacchio: I can do CPR. I need you to tell me what happened.

Jolyne: Ok ok... We were hooking up and he was fine, everything was fine. And then he um...

Abbacchio: Come on, I'm not gonna lose you.

Joylne: He asked me to sit on his face...

Abbacchio: And then you said "I'm not gonna do that babe cause I'm kinda scared and I don't actually want to sit on your face and hurt you."

Jolyne: No no...I did.

Abbacchio: Sure but you didn't actually sit on his face. You just kinda hovered there right?

Jolyne: No...I really sat on his face.

Abbacchio looks shocked.

Abbacchio: So you didn't like...hover there, you actually sat down?

Jolyne: Yeah I... sat on his face full forceful weight everything come on save him!

Abbacchio, still shocked, looks at Y/N before shaking his head.

Abbacchio: Yeah nothing to do here he's dead.

Jolyne: What?!

Abbacchio: I mean that's awesome.

As Abbacchio takes his hat off in sadness and admiration, Dr. Wu comes into the room with his medical bag.

Dr. Wu: EMS what's his status?

Jolyne: Paramedics!

Abbacchio: Hey Wu, girlfriend actually sat on his face.

Dr. Wu: Yeah nothing I can do

Jolyne: What?!

Abbacchio: Yeah, homeboy got snailed.

Dr. Wu: Ma'am...

Jolyne: You have to bring him back!

Dr. Wu: You are a queen.

Jolyne was frantic at this point.

Joylne: You mean you guys are not gonna try to revive him?!

Dr. Wu: We don't need to

Abbacchio: So I'm a cop second, but I'm a guy first.

Dr. Wu: And that goes against bro code because any guy would love to have a woman kill him by sitting on his face.

Jolyne: You guys are the fucking worst.

Dr. Wu: This is amazing.

Joylne: I should be arrested...! I murdered my soul mate

Dr. Wu: No one's gonna charge you with anything. You two are soul mates for sure.

Jolyne: What the fuck!

Dr. Wu: you two are inextricably linked.

Abbacchio: death by snoozing oh my god.

Suddenly, Father Pucci walks in.

Pucci: Coroner's office.

Jolyne: Yes corner!

Abbacchio: Yeah she actually sat on his face, she didn't even hover. I mean she sat down.

Pucci: Is that really what happened?

Joylne: Yes, all the way...

Abbacchio: Like his face was a seat.

Pucci gives Abbacchio a serious look.

Pucci: You think this is some kind of joke? Ma'am, I apologize for these clowns.

Joylne: Yes, thank you! Oh my god.

Pucci: We should be thanking you

Joylne: Oh my god...

Pucci: You are a queen, so the death certificate will say "Death by thiccness."

Abbacchio: Death by thiccness...!

Jolyne: Men are...terrible.

Pucci looks at Y/N's corpse and places a hand on his forehead.

Pucci: Looks like beauty...did kill the beast.

Abbacchio: Look at that smile.

Dr. Wu: Look at that smile!

Abbacchio: He's great, he's fine.

Y/N smiles and gives the men a wink, who all wink back in admiration.

Jolyne: He's alive! He just woke up!

Y/N goes back to being dead, making the men go "serious".

Dr. Wu: We'll just go...

Pucci gives Dr. Wu a quick wink.

Dr. Wi: But sit on him again, that was an involuntary nerve reflex

Pucci: He's dead.

Jolyne: You guys are horrible at your job.

Abbacchio: Mmhmm.

Dr. Wu: He's dead.

Dr. Wu motions for the other three to play along and for Y/N to be quiet while Joylne slightly panics.

Joylne: I'm not letting you die this way, you are not that cool.

Pucci: I'm gonna bring him to the city morgue. But after that, we're gonna have a Viking funeral for him

Joylne: No he's not having a Viking funeral.

Y/N does the 'call me' sign and the men all understand what he means.

Pucci: We're gonna celebrate his life.

Joylne: Men are...disgusting.

Pucci: Mostly how he died.

Gyro Zeppeli walks into the room.

Gyro: Grief counselor and trauma response specialist. Ma'am, are you okay?

Joylne: Oh my god, a grief counselor!

Abbacchio: This guy...

Pucci: Mr professional...

Gyro: Come with me.

Jolyne: Thank you! Oh my god, you guys are terrible at your jobs!

About an hour later, Jolyne was glaring at Gyro as he asked her questions

Gyro: What's the psi on that thing?

Joylne:...

Gyro:...

Stone Free: ORA-

https://youtu.be/cUyTmUwEUy8