I was lying to myself when I said that I could put the catastrophe of the day behind me. My walk home was bombarded with thoughts of him. How could he even think of ‘asking’ me to spend a night with him. In front of that specific, judgemental audience. The audacity and humiliation on my behalf! I don’t look that desperate, do I? I kept asking myself the same questions over and over again. The money would, for sure, come in handy but I am certainly not that type of person. I didn’t even know why I was even thinking about his comments. They were unnecessary and uncalled for. I stopped in front of a shop window and checked my reflection in the mirror. I looked carefully at myself, trying to find something that would say ‘prostitute’. Was it my face? My hair? My clothes? 

I had no idea why I was thinking this, I may not be rich but I always carry myself decently and with dignity. I have always tried to dress modestly, in clothes I feel comfortable in. I did not dress for someone else's enjoyment at this moment in time - it was all about comfort for me. Regardless of my dress sense, I don’t even want that kind of money. This Xavier Manhattan may be hot, and someone way out of my league but I am certainly not that low of a standard. He’s a real life bastard who spoiled my sisters life.

Even though I knew this, my thoughts somehow still wandered to him

Xavier’s POV

“What were you thinking, Xavier?” Max fumed when we were seated in the car away from the restaurant. I didn’t bother answering him, he wouldn’t understand and I did not want to tell him. I turned my head, instead, and looked out at the window. It was just a blur of colour that faded into one. We sat stationary for a few minutes, the sounds of the cars offering a distraction from the obvious anger being emitted from Max. “Xavier,” he said but I just stayed silent and wallowed in my own misery. “Oh give it a break, you cannot give me the silent treatment. You’re not my wife, for God’s sake!” Max huffed and puffed, his arm failing in the air. Although he could not move much as his seatbelt was restraining him. 

“Max, just drop it,” I spoke sternly, still looking at the window. I was not looking at anything specifically, I found that I could not focus. My thoughts just kept going back to her, I couldn’t help myself as much as I tried to stop.

“Are you crazy, you literally insulted her in front of everyone!”  He took off his seatbelt and faced me, his eyes wide with anger. 

“No one heard us, I was not that loud,” I stated to him, even though I knew it was a load of bullshit. 

“Are you kidding me?” He all but screamed in my direction. He was on the verge of a breakdown and I knew that I had severely pissed him off, he closed his eyes and tried to slow down his breathing. “All I bloody wanted was a catchup meal with an old friend, obviously I chose the wrong one to share it with,” he said with a withering stare in my direction.

After a minute he turned towards me but with a softer expression in his eyes. 

“Tell me Xavier, what goes on in your mind. Do you think before you act? You never act in such a way and this is the first time you have ever insulted a woman, a decent one at that. I don’t understand you anymore,” he said disappointingly. 

I just stared ahead with my palms clenched, he had no idea what he was talking about or meddling with my affairs. 

“Max, where should I drop you?” I said coldly ignoring his questions, I couldn’t deal with more interrogation and I wanted a good alcoholic drink to forget the events of the past few of hours coupled with the memories that have come flooding back. 

I did not have to look at him to feel the death glare being directed my way, I could feel it. I knew he was beyond angry and I did not blame him but instead of answering anything, I stayed fixated on the view outside the window.

I can’t tell him what I am really thinking, he wouldn’t understand. I didn’t even really know what drove me to do it, it just happened. I think it was to try and prove a point, to provide myself with answers to my questions. How could I tell him that it was me testing her? That I was waiting for rejection? How could I tell him that she resembles her in so many aspects and that it hurt for her to seem so close but be so far away? No, he would not understand. 

“You’ve changed a lot,” he said dejectedly, looking out of the window and sat back into his seat, clicking his seatbelt into place. 

“I know,”I replied, more so to myself. I knew I had and I did not like it, but there was no way to change. I motioned to my driver to start the car, singling the beginning of a silent journey.

_

After I dropped Max off at the hotel, minus the witty remarks and just an air of disappointment and subdued anger, I asked my driver to take me back to the office for an important meeting. Work does not stop, even when there are personal grievances and issues. 

“Sebastian, stay here. I will be back here in an hour or so,” I spoke as he shut the door behind me. 

“Yes sir, of course,” he replied walking back to his seat, driving off to park the car.

I entered the office and made my way to reception. It was no longer astonished by the amount of time I spent in this building, the sounds of typing and my employees conversing with each other were second nature and masked my inner turmoil.

“Good evening, Sir,” Elizabeth my receptionist but also really good friend greeted me. 

“Good evening, Elizabeth, are the Johnsons here?” I inquired as I mentally prepped for how this meeting was going to pan out. 

“Yes Sir, they are waiting in the waiting room. Should I inform them of your arrival? “ She said as she stood up. 

“Yes, Take them to the meeting room. I”ll be there shortly and also please come to my office with their files.” I said, already walking to my office switching back into work mode.

“Right away, Sir,” Elizabeth said and proceeded to start the tasks that would no doubt build up during this meeting.  Our conversation was strictly professional and she was amazing at her job. The standard that I demand at my work is impeccable, and she is great at producing exemplary pieces of work. She does not beat around the bush making her a vital and honest colleague in this company. Her being a childhood friend is just a plus and means that we work seamlessly as a team. 

After dismissing Elizabeth, I made my way towards my office and collected the files regarding the meeting. These Johnson’s have a fantastic deal which I would be a fool to pass up but unfortunately their boss, Johann Johnson, is quite rigid and drives a hard bargain. If he senses he will not profit from this deal then he will not deal, I appreciate that. I guess thinking critically is good for his company but not so good for companies wanting to work with him. 

Despite him being a tough person, I knew what to do in this situation. Johann is under a debt of 1 million dollars and this deal is more important to him than he would ever let on. I wouldn’t let him know that I am interested, instead I think i’ll should him that I do not care about the deal at all. Thinking critically and having good contacts is how you build us a successful and flourishing business. All this was running around my head as I sat in my office going over the final details of the deal.

“Sir, may I come in,” I heard Liz at the door.

“Yes, come in,” I said distractedly. She came in and placed some more files on my desk. 

“There you go,” Liz said. “You need to et someone to help you with all of this, Xavier. There is a word for them, secretaries. Might be time to start thinking about one,” Liz said sternly whilst arranging the files on the table. 

“I don’t need one,” I stated. 

“You’re kidding me, Xavier. Every boss has one! Plus you work your ass of all day everyday, yo undo not have time to be arranging files and all the other things you do when you have a company to run. You will make yourself ill.” Liz said, folding her arms after practically acting like my mother.

“I’ll think about it,” I said, not really meaning it but wanting to drop it.

“You are so annoying at times, you know that. I am not going to let this drop, Xavier. Come on, let’s go. They have been waiting a long time and I do not want this company to have a bad name ,” she spoke with a smirk on her face but still showcasing her authority. 

“Yes, ma’am,” I chuckled, the first time I had genuinely smiled today.

“After you, boss.” She held the door open for me and I bowed my head to thank her. She just waved her hand and followed behind me with the files in her hands. 

Off to seal a deal.