This is what Elizabeth looks like:)

"Congratulations man! You finally found her!" A mans voice says excitedly.

"Shut up! She's still sleeping you idiot." A voice growls. It sounds familiar, it's almost like I've heard it from a dream I can't remember.

"Oh come on Xander. You've been like this for almost 6 years. Maybe she can help?" He says hopefully.

"You think I haven't thought that?!" He growls at the man. That's not very nice. By how the man was talking to Xander, they sound close.

"....I'm sorry man. I didn't mean to get you all riled up."

Xander releases a tired and loud sigh, "Just get out Soul."

I hear retreating footsteps and the click of the door closing. I chose then to stop acting like a child and open my eyes.

The room I was in was an average sized room. It had navy blue walls, shinny wooden floors, some white drawers in the far corner, and my bed was a dark red cover with Golden designs.

I try to sit up, but the ache of my ribs protested. I moan escapes my lips, alerting Xander that I was awake. He quickly comes to my side, wraps one arm around my waist and his other hand under my legs. He lifts me slightly to sit up.
"How are you feeling?" He mumbles. I stared at him at first because he didn't sound like the same person he was last night. Did he sound angry?

"Umm I feel sore. But it's not too bad." I said a little timidly.

"Good." He growls

I frowned "Did I do something to anger you, sir?" 

He frowns, "No? I'm not angry." Whoa, that's his normal voice.

I coughed into my hand and softly asked, "Who are you?"

His brows deepen in a frown, creating a crease between his brows, "You don't remember?" He growls.

"Ummm no?" I say timidly.

"I'm the Alpha that raided your pack last night. Your mate."

My eyes widened when I remembered, "You're the one that came to my pack? You're my mate? You're the Alpha?" All of these revelations overwhelmed me all at once. I took a deep breath as I soaked in all of this devastating information.

He used his one to rub his eyes. He sighed deeply and said" Look, I need to do some Alpha Business, so let's just get the simple stuff out of the way, what's your name?" 

I gulped. I'm in enemy territory, I guess it's not exactly enemy anymore since he's my mate, but still. He was the guy that destroyed my pack, "I don't want to tell you my name until you tell me what happened to my pack."

The mate's jaw tensed, "Your pack doesn't matter anymore, you're a part of my pack now."

"It does matter," I growled, "I grew up there and my brother is there. If you don't tell me anything, I'll reject you here and now."

"You wouldn't do that." He says doubting me. 

I smirked, "Try me. You may be my mate but you also might as well be a stranger to me. I would rather find my brother than stay here with you."

His eyes dilated and his jaw had a tick in it as he took deep breathes. I stare at him with a glare, "Tell me if my people are safe."

He leans back in his chair, "They're safe. We didn't kill anybody. We just ravaged the place a bit to give a message"

"What kind of message?"

"We heard your Alpha was planning an attack on us. He was travelling around the country creating allies to dethrone us from being at the top of the food chain. We simply gave a warning."

"What happened to the people?"

He shrugs, "Some of them ran away, some stayed to rebuild. But I gave a strict order to not kill anybody which is quite kind and merciful thing to do, especially from someone like me...now" He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees, "Tell me your name."

I gulped. I still didn't trust him, now matter how much my body responds to him, "Lizette." I said, "But you can call me Lizzy."

Something changed in his eyes. He studied me a bit closer, and his brows turn down into frown. There was a flash of what seemed to be recognition, but he soon masked, "Okay, Lizette, ring this bell here," he points to the gold one on the bedside cabinet, "If you need anything and my brother will come and tend to your needs." He says in a very informative voice.

"Why not a nurse?" I asked curiously

He got up and made his way across the room towards the exit. He kept his back to me as he said, "Because even though he's an annoying asshole, I trust my brother more."

"Thank yo-" before I could finish, he's already out the door when I realised he hadn't given me his name. I felt a slight cut to my heart. Great. My mate hates me as well. I don't get it though. He was so sweet to me last night when I was hurt. Now, he acts so cold towards me. I can't think like that though. I can't pity myself like that. I have to stay strong and positive. Like my mother told me to.

My stomach rumbles loudly. Thank the Moon Goddess that my mate wasn't here when that happened. I would've gone red as a tomato. I grab the bell and ring it. Almost 2 seconds later a guy comes in that looks almost identical to Xander. He gives a friendly smile. He's definitely the happier brother of the two. "Hey, Elizabeth. I'm Solomon, Alpha's brother, but you can call me Soul."

"Hi, ummm I'm kinda hungry?" I say hesitantly. I've always been the one to ask what people want to eat. It feels foreign to me to be at the receiving end of that question. Instead of rolling his eyes, Soul gives me a bright smile.

"Of course you are. I'll bring up a big breakfast. I'll give you all of the good stuff. Us Nightwalkers always have the best taste in food" he chuckles.

My heart stopped at that moment. My mind was processing what he just said. Wait a minute...it can't be...can it? "What'd you say again?"

His eyes brow bunch together in confusion, "We have the best taste in food?"

"No! Before that! The name! Your last name!" I ask frantically.

"Oh! Right! Nightwalker."

Impossible, "My mate is the Alpha right?"

Solomon looked at me strangely but nodded his head slowly, "Yesss?"

"What's his name?" I asked impatiently.

"Xander. Xander Nightwalker. he didn't tell you his name?" Solomon questioned. he shook his head and mumbled, "What a Dick."

"So this is the Blood Moon Pack?" I asked, connecting the dots.

Solomon nodded his head. My heart was now pounding against my chest. I can't believe it. We were mates. Xander, the boy I met 12 years ago. The boy that gave me this necklace is my mate? As I was now reliving what happened last night and this morning, I was thinking about what he was like now. He wasn't the Xander I remember. He's changed so much. He used to be an outgoing carefree spirit. But now, he's cold and heartless. 

A part of me wanted to go tell him that it was me, the girl from the waterfall. But seeing what he's like now. I didn't. I didn't because of the fear of being rejected despite knowing who I was. It was best to keep who I really was a secret. I made sure to tuck the necklace under my shirt.

When Soul turns to leave I quickly blurt out, "What happened to Xander?"

Soul stops. I can see his back tenses up at my question. "He went through some things when he was a kid." He turns and slowly walks to me with a sad frown, "Look. I know my big brother can be an asshole. Don't be surprised if he is being a dick to you. But just...please be patient with him. He needs you, he may not show that properly, but believe me, he does. Just be yourself with him, please, Lizzy." He pleaded. Soul looks like he's on the verge of tears.

"How do you know my name?"

"I was ease-dropping, unapologetically at that."

"Oh." I blush and look away. He would've heard my angry outburst. I hear him chuckle as he leaves to get me food.

I lye down and close my eyes for a bit. I think of what my life is going to be like with my mate. Soul said to be me. I can do that I guess. I guess I can't judge him right now because I don't know him at all. 

***

"Hey, Lizzy!" I open my eyes and see Soul at the end of my bed with a tray filled with food. My mouth waters at the sight and smell of the pancakes. I quickly sit up carefully and dig into my meal.

I've been in bed for about four hours now, writing poems. My father wrote my mama a poem when she died. That's what got me started. Poems let you express your true feelings, but in a way that is so...unique. I wrote my poems ALOT when the abuse got worse through my teenage years. I used to cut myself, I used to totally hate myself. But as I got older I realized how everything I believed about myself was a lie. Caroline wanted me like that. So I decided I wasn't going to give Caroline what she wants. I was going to try my best to stay strong.

I knock sounded at the door. A girl with ombré hair and dark brown eyes popped her head in. She gave me a bright smile, "Hi Lizzy! My names Zapora! I'm Xander's little sister!" She says cheerfully. She runs and jumps on the bed. "Hi, it's nice to meet you," I say with a small smile.
"You are totally beautiful! Literally gorgeous! All of Xander's ex-girlfriends are going to be so jealous!" Ex-girlfriends? So he never kept his promise to not fall in love then? My heart ached slightly with this new information.

 I was still committed to my promise. I gave my word. And I always keep my word. Xander obviously broke his promise the first chance he got. If he did that, will he stay faithful to me? His mate?

"Don't worry! All them sluts weren't really considered "girlfriends" she says with the hand gestures that were supposed to be apostrophes, "they were just little meaningless things to him." Will he treat me like that?  Will he only treat me intimately when he wants his needs tended to? I start to get insecure. I hate this feeling! It makes me feel so weak! No Izzy! I have to be strong. Oh well, who cares if he treats me like that. I can always have a life without him, right?

"Oh well, enough talking about him! You've been in bed all day! You must be so exhausted from resting. Do u want to try to go for a little walk?"

Actually, that sounds perfect. I need to get my mind off my whole life. "I'd love to. But my ribs are still healing, so we have to walk a little slow, sorry" I said nervously. I don't want to be annoying.

Instead of sighing like this was too much trouble, she surprises me by smiling, "No problem at all!" So then we were off.

Zapora has been walking me around the pack for about an hour now. I met almost everyone. All of them were extremely kind to me, which also surprised me.

"Shall we go and see my brother in his office?"

"Oh no! I don't want to disturb him."

She rolls her eyes and waves her hand carelessly, "Pffff Nah. It's on the way back anyways. He'll love seeing you out and about again."

I felt unsure about it. But then again, I'm his mate. Maybe she's right? I nodded my head softly and say, "Ummm okay if you say so."

We come to a small cabin like building. Zapora knocks on the door cheerfully.

"What?" A shout came from the other side of the door.

We walk in. I see my mate sitting at his desk with a beautiful blonde woman on his lap, holding her hips. Her hands were running through his soft hair while her other hand was rubbing his broad chest. A sharp pang hits my heart. I look at Xander's face.

What hurts me, even more, is that I couldn't find an ounce of regret or guilt in them. There's nothing. My mate prefers to be with another woman than me. All those words that Caroline used to tell me rushed back to my head. As if this very moment was only confirming what she said was true. Maybe what she said wasn't a lie? If my own mate doesn't have the desire to even get to know me...I must not be worth it to him.

Tears fill my eyes, but I blink them back. I can't show him and especially this whore, that I'm weak. I take a deep breath and pretend that I'm not affected by it.

"What'd do you want?" The nameless woman asks.

Zapora looks shocked and angry, "What the hell are you doing here with my brother Lana?" She asked with a deep growl. I can see she's struggling to control her wolf. I grab her hand and squeezed it, hoping it might calm her. Her protectiveness towards me eased my aching heart a little. At least someone in this room is defending me.

"Your brother called me here. Said that he needed some...relief."

I was trying to be strong, but when I heard those words, the pain just hurt more. My own mate doesn't want me. Maybe Caroline was right. I was destined to be alone. I felt my bottom lip starts to quiver, so I bite down. Holding back any kind of noise I wanted to make.
"Why are you here?" Xander asks as if I was a nuisance to him.

Zapora raised her brow and crossed her arms over her chest,"We were in the area and thought it would be nice for Elizabeth, your MATE, to visit."

He rolls his eyes, acting annoyed with the whole situation, "Well, as you can see, I'm busy. Leave me." He growls.

I look at the woman, Lana. She smirks at me, just like how Caroline and Vince does. She looks at me like I'm beneath her like she is superior.

"Well, I guess I'll see you at home then Xander," I say. It took all my strength to say those words. My throat was closing up from holding back my cry.

As Zapora and I turn to leave. The crack in my shield of strength let a single tear escape and trail down my cheek. I look back at Xander, showing him how much pain I was in. I thought I saw a flicker of sadness, but he masks his emotions back into the cold, heartless man that he is. He isn't the boy I met all those years ago, he didn't comfort me, he didn't make me smile, he isn't my Xander. This person is someone completely different.

XANDER'S POV

I see a tear fall down my mate's beautiful face. That one tear showed I really did hurt her.

I shove the whore off my lap.
"Get.Out." I growl menacingly. 

She frowns. "Why? I thought you wanted some fun?"

I don't even look at her as I am studying my papers, "You weren't that good Lana. You assumed I wanted you here for 'fun'. I just need you to drop these files off to my Beta." I outstretch my hand full of papers to her.

"Asshole" she mutters under her breathe while grabbing the files. I am instantly on my feet. I grab her wrist tightly and pull her towards me, "What the fuck did you say to me whore? You talk to me like that again, I will end you and not quickly either." Fear shines in her eyes. Lana nods her head shakily in agreement. She rushes out of my office.

 I collapse into my chair with a sigh and rub my eyes. I didn't want to hurt her. It's for the best though. She doesn't need someone like me to taint her. All I'll do is dirty her and corrupt her with how broken I am. Even my own father had to lock me up so than I wouldn't suddenly kill the whole damn pack. I was fucked up in my head.

I shouldn't be so selfish and lay my burdens on her shoulders. She needs to stay away from me for her to be happy. She won't be happy with me in her life. This is for the best. It is my duty to protect her, even from me.

ELIZABETH POV

It's been a week since the office incident. I've hardly seen Xander at all and if I do he ignores or glares at me as if I've done something to him. Which is probably true. He obviously doesn't remember me because if he did, maybe he'll try to actually be nice. But I don't want him to want me just because I was that girl from his past. I want him to want me...for me. Not because I was Izzy or his mate. Just me. Just Elizabeth. However, I know what I am asking is the impossible.

I was in the kitchen baking when Zapora and two other girls came in. They looked around about my age or a bit older.

"Hey, Lizzy! These two girls are my friends Emily and Avery." She introduces.

I stick my hand out, "It's wonderful to meet you two." They both shake my hand with a smile, "it's an honour to meet you, Luna." They both say formally.

I shake my hands around, "Please no. Just call me Lizzy, no need for the formality." They both smile brightly at me, "Do you guys want to sit down and have some cookies? They're baking, but they're almost done," I offer.

"Oh my goodness, I love cookies!" Emily said.

"And you're still wondering why you're not losing weight," Avery mumbles. Emily elbows her in the ribs. "Hey! John doesn't think I'm overweight!"

"John is your mate, Avery. It's part of the job to say that to your mate."

"So you're saying mates lie to make their women feel good about themselves?"

"Exactly!"

"I guess that's why Jason always says your hair always looks good," Emily whispers to herself.

"That's because of the-" Avery thinks about what Emily says for a minute. Then she finally gets it.

"You're saying Jason lies to me about how good my hair is?!" She yells.

Emily puts her hands up in surrender,"You're words, not mine."

Zapora just rolls her eyes as she looks through the fridge for milk.

Emily and Avery's bickering is quite entertaining for me. I never really grew up having friends when Caroline came, so now that I see Avery and Emily teasing each other, it makes me feel a little better. A little happier.

A ding went off, "Oh the cookies are done!" I quickly set the tray of sweets on the stove to cool down. Then I fill up 3 glasses of milk. 7 minutes later, most of my cookies are gone.

"With cookies tasting as good as these. I'm never going to lose weight."

I laugh, "That's because you don't need to lose weight. I like your size," says a guy from behind Emily. This must be her mate, John. He wraps his arms around her waist from behind and kisses her temple.

 Emily turns her head and kisses his cheek, "Thanks, babe." John smiles down at her like she's his whole world. I wish my mate would look at me like that one day. Another guy comes waltzing in and swings Avery around in a circle. She squeals and giggles, "Jason! Put me down!" He obeys her and pecks her lips. "Missed you today sweetheart." He says in a loving voice. 

I look at the two couples. Their lives make my heart ache. I remember how my mother used to tell me how all mates are supposed to love each other just like how she and papa did. My relationship with my mate turned out to be the opposite. He hated me. He told me to get out while he was in his office with another woman.

"Hey Lizzy, you okay? Why're you crying?" I didn't even notice I was crying until she told me. 

I quickly wipe my tears away and smile as if nothing happened, "I'm okay Avery. I just got some flour in my eye." I grab a small plate of cookies and head towards the front door. "I'm going to quickly drop these off at Xander. I'll be right back."

He may be a complete asshole, but I still have to try. Soul said to be myself. I'm doing exactly that. I'll just have to be the bigger person.

I knock on the door of Xander's office lightly.

"WHAT!" He shouts. I flinch but quickly recover. I gulped and inhaled deeply. When I was at home, I didn't try to stand up for myself enough. I didn't try to be strong. I stopped trying. But maybe this is my chance to change that. Yeah my mate is an asshole, but maybe somehow I can use this to make myself stronger?

I open the door and walk in. "I made a fresh batch of cookies. Do you want some?" I ask with a soft voice.

His eyes don't leave his paper as he nods. I lay the plate in front of him. I stand there waiting for a thank you. It never came. He looks up from his paper and glares at me, "Why are you still here?" He spits out. 

"I was waiting for a thank you," I didn't mean to sound angry...okay maybe I did, but sometimes it was hard hiding my emotions. He growls at me. It was deep and gravelly. It did have an effect on me but I made sure to not show that.

"Go!" He shouts. I growl at him, but turn to leave as he takes a bite. Xander makes a face and spits his food in my face. I was stunned. I never had anyone spit my food in my face before.
"What the fuck is this shit?!"

I frown at him, "What's wrong with them?"

He takes the plate of cookies and walks toward me. Once he was right in front of me, he drops the plate of cookies and stomps on them, making the plate shatter as well.

"Don't ever make me anything again." He turns away and goes back to his work as if what he did was nothing, "Oh and do clean up the mess and your self up. You look and smell disgusting." Just like how Caroline said to me. 

My lip quivers as waves of tears drench my face. My life is miserable. But it doesn't have to be miserable. I could just...end it...and make all the bad go away. That was the first time in 3 years I had thoughts of suicide.

I shook my head. Izzy what the hell are you thinking? I glare at Xander. I pick up the crushed cookies in my fist. He's back at his desk looking at his papers. I walk up to the desk and throw the cookies on there. crumbs and pieces splattered over his work. 

His head whips up at me and scowls. He stands up, "What the fuck do you think you're doing huh?"

"You made a mess," I lean forward, "Clean it up."

He steps closer, "Are you stupid?"

I smirk, "I've been called worse."

"Oh really? Like what?"

My smirk leaves my lips as I stare at him, "Your mate."

His evil amused expression drops and he stares me dead in the eye as I look right back, "Get the fuck out."

I step to him and pout, "I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings?"

He grins, "That would imply that I care about you, which I don't. I don't like you, Lizzy."

I felt a sharp pang in my chest, but I still shrug it off like I didn't care, "That's okay. Not everybody has good taste."

I turn to leave and slam the door behind me. I stomp toward the house. Tears began to fall down my cheeks. I hate that what he says does matter and that it does hurt me. 

 Everyone was still there. Avory, Emily, and Zapora gave me looks of concern as well as their mates, "Lizzy, what's wrong?" Zapora asks. She slowly walks towards me as if I was an injured animal about to bolt off.

 Instead of my words coming out, I sob. I sprint to my bedroom, slam the door and collapse onto my bed crying my heart out. I scream into my pillow. I always thought screaming into your pillow helps you release your feeling. What a load of shit. I still feel the pressure in the heart.

Someone, who is probably the girls, knocks on my door. "Go away, guys. I don't want to see anyone right now," I yell from my pillow.

Instead of seeing the girls, Soul walks in and shuts the door. He silently sits next to me on my bed and holds me as I cry.

"I didn't know he would be like this. If I did, I wouldn't have asked you to put yourself out there."

I nod against his chest, still not trusting my voice to form words.

"You don't need to try Lizzy. If you're really miserable...you could always reject him as your mate?" He suggested softly.

I shake my head, "I wasn't raised like that. Rejecting was never an option. It's either you're with your mate...or die."

Soul frowns, "So you're going to stay with him?"

I look away from him, "I don't know."

He looked taken back, "What do you mean you don't know?!"

Might as well tell him, he'll probably find out anyway, "I used to be suicidal." I confessed.

Soul's silence indicates that he must be shocked. He looks down at my arms and notices very faint, white scars.
"No no no no!"

"Don't worry Soul, that was years ago." I tried to comfort him.

"And now?"

I shrug, "I don't know."

"Why were you...suicidal?"

I've never told anybody about my life. No one was really interested except Eddie, "Please don't tell anyone this Soul. I've never told anyone and I'm....scared."

His eyes soften the same that Eddie's does, "I promise I won't. You can trust me."

I explained to Soul about my home life for the past 11 years. I left out the part where I met Xander though.

Soul is silent for some minutes. Then a deep growl echoes out of his chest, "We can always go find them Lizzy. We can go find them and punish them. Make them pay."

I shake my head, "Soul, It's in the past."

"How could you say that!" He exclaimed.

"Because I'd rather just leave all that in the past. And don't worry, I'm not actually suicidal right now, it was just a passing thought. No big deal."

"Yeah but even you thinking it is already bad, Lizzy. I don't want you thinking like that."

I smiled, "Don't worry, Soul. Sometimes I just struggle with my self-worth because of how I've been treated. But I know at the end of the day I can change that if I wanted to and I will. Sometimes I'll have bad thoughts, but as long as I don't dwell on them, I'll be okay."

Soul thinks about what I said for a minute then pulls me into a hug, "You're strong Lizette. You may not know it, but you are. You're way too good for my brother," I laugh against his chest.
"Get some rest, Lizzy. You need it." I nod and kiss his cheek as a thank you.

After saying goodnight I snuggle against my pillow and blanket, letting the peace of darkness envelope me into sleep.