GENRE: fluff, angst
WARNINGS: some sexual themes/scenes
NOTES: the lack of erik appreciation is understandable but still sad :') so here have this bc i have a (ralph) bo(h)ner for michael fassbender.
WORD COUNT: 4261

_____________

Charles had been so good to you since you'd first found a place at his school. For years you had been alone, not wanting to go back to your family, who were scared of your abilities. They weren't very physical; but you were a first generation mutant, and your parents didn't want to accept that their baby came out different than expected.

Charles found you through cerebro, your thoughts intense and sad. He couldn't help but scoop you up from the dingy bar you worked at, and brought you home with him.

After a few weeks, you'd come to depend on him emotionally, and he greatly enjoyed your company. He liked keeping you around, and eventually offered for you to be a substitute English teacher, given the literature degree you'd never utilised from college.

You wholly accepted, willing to do anything for Charles, when he'd done so much for you in so little time.

"Be careful of Peter in particular. He likes to cause trouble, especially when he's around Scott or Warren. Oh, and make sure Ororo is understanding! She doesn't like to ask for help, and it gets her into sticky situations," He told you, debriefing you on what you'd be doing while he was too busy to take his classes.

"Sure, Charles," You smiled wide, pushing off of your place where you sat on his desk.

"Oh, and one more thing," He paused, seeming to contemplate his words as his fingers rubbed against his temple. His eyes drifted away from you. "An old friend, Erik, is coming back to the school. He betrayed me once, and he has a lot of hurt in him . .  . but I'm sure that he's gotten better now. Just . . . be mindful that he's not the most friendly. And you might not want to use your powers on him . . . not if you want to see something you don't want to."

You tilted your head in curiosity, but nodded your head nonetheless in understand, "I won't, Charles. See you later?" You asked, and watched as a smile pulled to his face at the sureness of your answer, as if he knew something you didn't.

"See you later."

______________

Usually, people's desires tended to jump out at you, no matter how immediate, or long-term they were. There was a mix of desiring other people, money, grades - anything you could think of, you must of seen once before. Sometimes they were terrible. Sometimes you saw way more than you needed too. Sometimes you couldn't ignore people's dark desires. Sometimes you met psychopaths in the streets. Sometimes you met struggling mothers, and addicts, and loners.

Other times, it was lovers. Faces flashing in your mind that you'd never seen before. Old, young - some you found attractive, and some you didn't. But there was always a breath of love with those people that filled you to the brim. When people's truest desire is another person, their mind is devoted to them; and you could feel that with them.

On very few occasions, you didn't see anything for some people. Whether it was because they were so guarded, had a natural psychic block, or didn't have any desires in the first place. You didn't care to push. In a perfect world, you wouldn't see something so defining in everyone you met. It felt like you were digging into their privacy; taking something away. No one deserved that.

Erik, of course, was one of those few people that you couldn't crack.

As soon as you'd met him, you noticed a distinct quiet. He seemed to be very careful with his words; only speaking to introduce himself, before letting Charles mostly speak. His eyes lingered over you, and you could tell he was watching you as you took up one of the seats in Xavier's office. You had to admit, it made you more interested when you couldn't figure someone out immediately. You tended to want to find out for yourself, to the point of being slightly obsessive - before you'd grown up entirely.

"What will you be teaching?" You asked Erik once Charles had spoken, now seated behind his desk, looking a his male counterpart with an expectant expression as he simply stood by the window, hands in his pockets.

He regarded your question, looking out into the garden as the students walked by, "Charles said something about German second language, didn't you?" Erik's gaze drifted to the headmaster for a moment.

"Yes. And I'd like for you to help Raven train some of our students in honing their skills," Charles confirmed, leaning his head in his hand, with his elbow on his desk.

You'd gotten used to him being more relaxed around you than you would have expected in the beginning. But you were glad he was comfortable with you being there - it made you feel at peace where you were. It made you feel like you were just as accepted as those who had been there far longer than you had.

"Erik has quite the control over his power," Charles added, a smile curling his lip upwards, knowing that Erik both lived off of compliments, and loathed them.

"Is that so?" You queried, the sound of your voice seemingly bringing Erik's focus back to you. The teasing way you asked made him tilt his head, amused eyes dancing across your body in a way that made you want to squirm in your seat. Something about him was undoubtedly intense.

"You could say that . . ." He chuckled humorously, "Though, you taught me everything I know," He mentioned to Charles, who seemed smug at the concept.

___________

Charles had been calling you telepathically from his office for the past ten minutes - never mind the fact that you were finishing up a lesson for his students. You huffed slightly once you'd dismissed them, grabbing your things so that you could make your way to your friend. Sure, he was demanding - but you didn't really mind when he was also just as giving and patient.

When you turned the corner to his office, your eyes were on the floor, pondering what he could possibly need to discuss so urgently with you. You weren't aware enough to notice Erik coming out of his room, and before you could stop yourself, you were crashing into his chest.

He caught you by your forearm as you bounced back, steadying you with a tight grip so that you didn't fall over. His touch loosened slightly as he looked down at you, concern in his expression, "Jeez! Are you okay?" He voiced, low and urgent.

"I-I'm fine," You told him, feeling his hand drop from its place belatedly. Your cheeks flared with a subtle blush, and he almost didn't notice it. Although, he was certainly glad he did. You had him curious, ever time he saw you or spoke to you.

You became aware that you were both closer than usual, your breath stuttering now that you were meeting his eyes up close. They were decidedly dark, and intense - and they seemed to hold a slight contentedness in seeing you fluster up against him. He made no move to take a step back, amusement trickling in to his gaze.

After a moment, you cleared your throat, backing away from him like it had never happened. And it was certainly embarrassing that you had taken that long. Since when did Erik get to you this much?

"Sorry," You murmured, not able to meet his gaze, "I wasn't really looking where I was going."

Erik seemed to regard you slightly fondly, and he was afraid that you might just be getting to him more than he'd previously thought. "It's okay, really," He implored, and his tone was genuine and convincing. "See you around, Miss (L/n)," He greeted with a slight smile, and when you looked up, he was taking a step back, seemingly needing to be somewhere.

"See you around."

___________

It was late. Probably too late for you to be up, but you couldn't sleep. Your mind had been racing ever since you'd spoken to Erik the day before, and you were afraid you knew exactly why. Everything in you was fighting not to feel it, but you couldn't really stop yourself.

Deciding to make your way to the kitchen to raid the pantry, you were surprised to see the light still burning at the back. Curiously, you made your way across the small room to the open door on its opposite side. It was usually always closed, particularly at night - and you couldn't help but tilt your head curiously once you'd noticed that there was in fact someone else up with you. The door led to a small side courtyard, where a set of tables and chairs were located. It wasn't open to the students, and you assumed it was abandoned when Charles officially turned the mansion into a functional school.

It was barely used, and it was overgrown with ivy and weeds - but you still liked to sit out there on some weekend mornings and listen to the birds.

The figure was dimly lit by a few candles scattered across the table, but you immediately knew it was Erik. Maybe because of the shape of his body, or maybe because you knew the universe had a funny way of messing with you.

The night air was cool, and crisp - and you found yourself actually enjoying it, hugging your silk robe to you a bit tighter than it was before, only wearing a nightie beneath it. You were acutely aware that you weren't wearing much, but then again - it was the middle of the night, and it was clearly for sleeping. You ran a hand through your hair, drawing closer to the other person, who had now noticed your presence with a curious gaze.

You watched as his eyes subconsciously drifted over you, taking in you outfit with a quiet humour behind his eyes. Inevitably flustered, you tried to ignore the way butterflies were already jumping to your stomach.

"Isn't it a little late for you to be up?" He queried lowly, once you had gotten closer. You could see that he was leant back on one of chairs, a half-empty glass of some amber liquid next to him, the bottle inevitably sitting beside it. In his hand, you belatedly noticed a cigarette - the smoke curling up into the night air. It's ember traced patterns in the air as he flicked the ash off of it subconsciously.

"I could say the same to you," You shrugged as you took up a seat across from him, and you knew it was the obvious answer; but that didn't make it any less true. The metal chair was cold against your skin, and that, combined with the way he was looking at you made goosebumps appear across your skin. Erik always had a way of intimidating you slightly. Every moment you spent with him, you felt like you were on fire.

You weren't sure if he could see it, but he seemed slightly smug nonetheless, tilting his head at you with a thoughtful smile. His leg was bouncing up and down as he took a drag of his cigarette, exhaling it after a moment's pause, "Touché, my love."

The pet name seemed so natural falling from his lips, and he took notice of how flustered it seemed to make you. He could see the way your cheeks filled with a pink blush, despite the low lighting. He thought it made you look beautiful, admittedly. And he didn't often like to let himself think those kinds of things. You had a funny way of changing that.

"That's a terrible habit, you know," You observed absently, because you felt like you should say something at the very least. You'd heard that they were no good for you, even at that year and time.

Erik seemed to chuckle at your words, looking down at the floor absently as he flicked his cigarette again. He leant his elbow against the arm of the chair, and his fingers brushed against the lip of his glass, almost daringly, "I've got far worse vices to work on first."

You regarded his words, and the seriousness with which he said them. You knew that he'd had a past like no other, and sometimes addiction and habits were ways to cope with that. You understood. How couldn't you, as a mutant?

"Fair," You admitted with a slight laugh, and he couldn't help but break into a small smile upon hearing it. There was something about you that always chipped away at whatever walls he put up. With you, things seemed to come more naturally. "Well, aren't you going to share?" You queried in reference to his drink, shifting in your seat as you crossed your legs, hand rubbing at your arm to help with the cold.

Erik raised an eyebrow, eyes twinkling as he picked up his glass so that he could hand it to you without a thought. He didn't seem to mind sharing it quite literally with you. In fact, he seemed to wait with baited breath as your lips touched where his once were. The alcohol didn't taste great, on account of how strong it was; but you could see how he would like it. You swallowed it down, handing it back with a scrunched nose.

He laughed despite himself, not remembering the last time where someone had genuinely made him do that. His sudden fondness for you was making him slip. "It's okay, love. We'll find you something better for next time," Erik told you as he took it back from you. For a moment he contemplated (all he could think about was how much his brain was telling him he wanted to kiss you all of a sudden, and that really was the final straw), before swallowing what was left in it - placing the empty glass on the table when he was done.

You couldn't help but be amused by his actions, tilting your head at him curiously. He was a difficult person to figure out. You never really knew how he was feeling, but you were starting to become more intuitive with him. There were a lot of moments where you recognized habits that he had; little things that helped you figure him out in the moment.

He put his cigarette out in the nearby ash tray, suddenly not caring about it when he had you. "So . . . why are you up?" He asked, voice low as he met your gaze. It was a simply question, but it made you fluster nonetheless, knowing what you did.

Ever since your moment bumping into each other the day before, you couldn't get him out of your head. You felt like a kid with a crush again, and you were down bad. And it didn't help that you also happened to like the one emotionally unavailable person that everyone is afraid of. It seemed typical of you, almost. You couldn't sleep all night because you were tossing and turning thinking about Erik and how close you had been. And when you finally did fall asleep, your dreams were filled with his face. Him holding you, kissing you. Things you hadn't really expected your subconscious to come up with.

"Couldn't sleep . . ." You whispered back, and it was slightly unconvincing despite not even being a lie. Your fingers curled around the fabric of your robe, pulling at it to subconsciously get more heat.

"Ah," He let it slip, because who was he to pry, "I see . . . I can understand, then." As you were about to reply, you watched him reach to the back of his chair, pulling a leather jacket from its back where it lay. He offered it out to you, wordlessly - and his simple, giving action had you more surprised than anything.

"Oh?" You couldn't help but say, taking it from his grasp greatfully. You draped it over you lap, covering your legs that had been mostly exposed to the night time air. No matter how much he loved to see them, he couldn't bare to see you shiver. And you using his jacket felt surprisingly right to him. It immediately made you feel better, trapping in the heat.

"I'm an insomniac," Erik admitted to you. He decided that; if all his dreams could be about you; then he'd finally sleep peacefully for once in his miserable life.

You offered him a small, empathetic smile, "Sounds like it sucks . . ." And he couldn't help but chuckle, appreciating your bluntness about the subject - because, yeah, it did suck. "I should stay up to keep you company more often, then," You observed with a slight fondness in your tone.

Erik admired belatedly that you were willing to give up sleep to do something like keep a friend company. It also made you someone he couldn't understand in the slightest, though. He could certainly learn something from you, by all means. "Maybe," He concluded, eyeing you slightly as he chose his next words, "You're the best company I've had so far."

You weren't sure why, but you were definitely blushing despite yourself. "Is that so?" You queried, humour and teasing in tone.

He only hummed in return.

____________

"Go ahead, (Y/n). I know you've wanted to do it since you met me," He told you quietly, his firm grip bringing your hand to rest against his chest, over his heart. You could feel the steady pace of his heart thumping, and your insides felt like there were being devoured by butterflies. He didn't move his hand from holding yours in place, nor did his dark eyes look away from yours. It felt intimate, and you realized that this might have been the closest you'd ever gotten to each other. "Charles warned you not to, but do it," His voice was soft, but demanding in a way that only he could conceive into reality.

Every bone in your body told you not to, and all of your hairs stood on end. Perhaps from intimidation, perhaps from the fact that his other hand now rested tentatively on your hip, awaiting your response. For a moment, you allowed your eyes to flutter closed, and you channeled your powers.

When you first found out about your mutation, it took you a while to fully understand it. Since you were little, some people's desires would yell themselves at you. Some were fast kinds of desire; like food, or sex, or money - whatever someone wanted in that moment. And others were quieter. You had to really concentrate, but in still moments you could hear the thoughts of people grieving for loved ones to be back, longing for someone they can't have, begging for just one interview to go right before they'd get kicked out of their apartment. The worst places to go were places where people would sit and wait. You'd often get overwhelmed by people's spiraling thoughts.

Almost everyone had told you that you'd see a catastrophe in Erik. You'd see the world burning, with him as the cause. But it wasn't the first time that someone was wrong about another persons deepest desires; in fact, many people didn't even know their own. Not really. Not until you told them.

And when you finally saw what Erik's deepest desire was, you couldn't speak. You expected to see carnage, but when he finally let you in, all you could see was you.

You could have sworn you could feel your heart beating in your chest, your stomach twisting in knots at the implications as your hand dropped from its place on him. When you opened your eyes, you immediately met his warm, intense ones in reply. You almost felt dizzy, your face flushing despite yourself.

"Do you get it now?" He asked softly, his head tilting, inching ever so slightly closer to you. You could tell in his eyes that he saw exactly what you did.

You didn't know what to say, "How did you know it would be me?"

He chuckled, shaking his head as if he couldn't expect himself to explain it, eyes finally breaking away from you, as if anxious for the first time since you'd met, "I was pretty sure . . ." He paused, deliberating his words for a moment, "Your face confirmed it."

A small smile appeared on your lips involuntarily, and you felt like all of your nerve endings were tingling, "I really don't know what-"

"You don't have to say anything," He told you, eyes meeting yours in order to reassure you with an empathetic gaze, "I . . . I just wanted you to know. I barely knew if I could keep it hidden any longer."

You could feel the heat on your face, "Erik, I . . ." Your lips were parted, but you didn't know what you wanted to say, never mind how you would word it. You were still mildly in shock, and he wasn't making it any easier with the way he was looking at you, his hand still holding you close with a tentative touch on your waist.

You liked Erik. More than you'd care to admit. During all the time you'd spent with him, you'd come to know quite a gentle and tender, if not, guarded man. You knew what he'd done, but trusted Charles' judgement to bring him back. You think you see the same thing in Erik, that he did.

And now, knowing that he'd felt the same way the entire time had your heart thumping, and suddenly, you were aware that there weren't many down sides to just kissing him right then.

His hand brushed the side of your face gently, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, "May I?" He asked tenderly, his palm now against your jaw as he watched your expressions carefully.

You weren't sure if he was asking what you hoped, but you nodded anyway, captivated by his attention on you so completely. He guided your face closer, his lips meeting yours more desperately than you anticipated. You felt like you lost all the air in your lungs, but steadied yourself with your arms around his neck, sinking into the kiss as his mouth moved against yours. It was slow, and languid, and warm, and everything you'd ever imagined being held by him was like.

Erik felt like he was at peace for the first time in a while, lost in you as he deepened your kiss, hands curling in their place to hold you more tightly. You felt the familiar feeling that filled you when you looked into people's desires; their love for someone else.

You barely pulled away to breath before you were connected again, his lips chasing yours with a certain kind of neediness. You didn't mind at all, letting your fingers run through the hair at the nape of his neck in encouragement, causing him to let out a small huff of contentment against you. You'd never had someone so lost in you, enjoying how his hands now moved across your body, holding fabric in its grasp, traveling the skin he could reach - causing you to whine slightly into his mouth. You weren't sure if it was his cold fingertips, or something else entirely.

He pulled away from you upon hearing the sound, his eyes dark and his pupils dilated. You felt his hands drift up your body until they held each side of your face, firm and focused as he hovered over you slightly. "Look closer," He murmured.

Instinctively, you seemed to follow his order, and he couldn't help but smile slightly at your eagerness to listen to him. He liked that you always seemed to be so enraptured by him, because that certainly wasn't something he got often. Not someone like him.

You blinked, shutting your eyes as you began to channel your powers again, your hands slipping down to brace against his chest, running against the soft material of his dark turtle-neck. He watched as you leaned forward, and couldn't help but press his forehead to yours, holding you flush against him with an unrelenting grip. Your heart was thumping, but Erik decided that he'd probably never been so content.

When you finally delved deeper, you seemed to figure out exactly what he'd meant. There were flashes of moments in your minds eye, playing like a montage like it usually would. You pressed up against him just like you were then, but his hands wandered further. He trailed kisses down your neck fervently, your hands tangled in his hair. You underneath him, lost between sheets as you pawed at his shoulder blades for leverage, groaning his name despite the way he hushed you against your skin where he was leaving marks. You down on your knees, looking up at him through lashes while he stood over you, hand cupping your cheek while he whispered words of encouragement to you. You on top of him, hips pressed together as you searched for a source of friction, teasing him with a cocky smile that only served to make him groan. You throwing your head back. Moaning his name. Begging for every inch of him.

Your eyes flickered open, and upon seeing him face to face - you didn't know if you could say a single word. He didn't seem to expect you to, his lips crashing against your own in a moment. For once, you let yourself relax despite the way your mind was racing - and you allowed yourself to unabashedly enjoy his touch.

And, Hell, did you enjoy it.