Scott had a lot to think about after that.

Emma noticed but didn't pry into it. She was a little afraid to do so.

She was also holding off on using her power at all.

She recovered from the attack of the camp fairly well. Though she'd had a bad moment.

Mystique asked her later what she'd sensed in that time.

"Nothing. There is literally a fire wall so that I can't," Emma said.

"Figures," Mystique said.

She picked up a book, that Emma realized was a Bible, and started looking through it.

"Oh...don't tell me--you also?" Emma said. "It's like a blooming decease around here."

"Well, it's the sick people who need a doctor." Mystique was kind of proud of herself for knowing any quote that would fit as a response. "Maybe the rest of us sinners just are tired of denying it. All this hasn't made you the least bit curious, Frost?"

"Oh, I suppose," Emma said, staring at the book vaguely. "I suppose it would be nice to have Divine Help at this time, but I see no sign of it."

"Neither did I, before," Mystique said. "Seeing is not believing, it turns out. Believing is seeing. Once you look for it, it's different."

"Seeing what you want to see?"

"No," Mystique said. "More like seeing what you were afraid to see. I'm convinced now that most people just spend all their time looking away from the truth about themselves, not looking for what they want to see."

She shrugged.a

Emma thought about that. "No, that's true," she admitted. "I suppose none of us really want to think we're monsters. It's rather worse when they do. Look at Selene."

"Yet, for all her repulsiveness, she has more in common with the likes of us than we like to admit," Mystique said bluntly.

"I would never do that," Emma said.

"That may be, but you'd use someone. Isn't it the same thing? You just think her way is more repulsive," Mystique said.

"You're taking this not-judging rule too far," Emma said.

"I didn't like her, but thinking she's so much worse than myself seems to be a little short sighted," Mystique said.

"And so you signed up for this rehabilitation program?" Emma said. "Mind if I ask why? What could possess someone like you to? I thought you were really committed to never changing."

"I was, but Shine asked me something I couldn't deny," Mystique said. "She asked if I could have an entirely new life, start all over, be a different person, not like what I was when I was born, a new person completely, wouldn't I want it?"

Emma stared at her. "So, new like reincarnation?"

"Still human, but I suppose. Rebirth," Mystique said. "Funny, these concepts get around, but that never made any sense to me. Who'd want to come back as a shrub or whatever? Depressing. This was still human. Just better."

"So she told you that's what this is?" Emma tapped the book. "A new life altogether? But you're the same person."

"It's inside," Mystique said. "I can't explain it well. It's been one week. One week longer than I expected it to last."

"But it has?" Emma said. "You think you're different."

"I have no idea," Mystique said. "In a way, I feel the same as before. Maybe just...less uncomfortable with it."

Emma tilted her head. "That would be nice. Though I don't see how it fits in with the ideology."

"I don't know," Mystique said. "I never thought I was fit for this sort of thing, but Shine said it was the hatred of sin--that's wrong doing."

"I know what it is. I'm not that ignorant!" Emma snapped.

"Fine. It's the hatred of that that's the first step, not the not doing it," Mystique said. "And for that, she proved to me pretty well I already had it. After that, it seemed I had run out of reasons to say no."

"And here I thought you were a die-hard cynic," Emma said.

"Perhaps I am, but I find this a rather cynical worldview," Mystique said. "Reading over this...I had no idea how much this God was frustrated with how stupid people are and how evil." She shook her head. "It could be anyone talking. They think no one is good. Yet we all can become good. It's mad, but it makes more sense than all the trite idealism I've ever heard. Certainly more than Xavier's clap trap. He still thinks humans can rise above their pettiness.... This says they can't, not without a miracle. Somehow, I find that a more realistic take on humanity than expecting them to elevate themselves."

Emma choked on a laugh. "Somehow that is true. It'd be easier to believe a miracle than humans would ever choose that."

She shook her head. "The world hates good people. I learned that a long time ago. Crushes them."

"All in here." Mystique pointed to the book. "'The world hates you, for it hated me.'... Maybe you already buy it more than you think."

"Don't get ahead of yourself," Emma said. "That's just an observation anyone could make. Whoever wrote this just made it, that's all. Thought they had their own solution."

"You're awfully interested in it for someone who doesn't think it makes sense," Mystique said coolly.

"I just want to know what could make you take this seriously," Emma said.

"Watching these people," Mystique said. "They put up with more than anyone would normally and still be confident. It would destroy most. Forgiving people who they should despise.... That would have to make one wonder."

She shrugged. "Maybe I always wondered. I was bitter at God when I met Kurt... He made me wonder if there was something about it I had always just missed. But I didn't have the nerve to pursue it myself... Shine latched on like a bloodhound when I ran into them. At first I hated it...but I had to wonder what would make anyone care that much about someone they had no obligation to help. Unlike you, I wasn't just some kidnapped victim. I was their prisoner...then they let me go. Shine left me a message..."

She turned the Bible to Hosea 2. "You can see it for yourself here. Sounds like her."

Emma read over it. "I don't understand."

"It's insulting at first," Mystique said. "But the very end...I knew what she had in mind as well as if she'd said it herself."

"What is this even talking about?" Emma said.

"In context? I have no idea. Probably the people or someone else," Mystique said. "But it hits home."

"A little too much," Emma said. She traced to the end. "'I will have mercy on her who had not obtained mercy'.  That's interesting phrasing."

"That was it," Mystique said.

"You're kidding?" Emma said. "I picked it out?"

"Yeah, we're enough alike, I'm not that surprised." Mystique was amused. "You of all people should know why that stuck out to me. I certainly never 'obtained mercy'. But as Shine would tell you, it's not necessary for us to earn it. It's a gift. She's a pill about it at times."

"I have seen it," Emma said. "Isn't she like a sledge hammer?"

"And people clearly don't listen if you don't drive it in," Mystique said. "I never would have. But if someone is persistent enough with something, you start to wonder if there's something in it. And now I wonder...if I was backed into a corner on purpose. 'Hedged in', like it said earlier, escape route cut off. I stayed here because I had no other options. Once I chose it...it started to seem different. And now, here we are.... This situation is insane, but it beats the endless meaninglessness of everything else, doesn't it?"

"Ask me that if we win and I might agree," Emma said. 

Mystique thumped the table.

"Couldn't hurt to go in with a little more protection, Frost," she said.

Emma looks at her strangely. "You're not really suggesting..."

"You're a basket case." Mystique didn't sugarcoat it. "If it helps me, it'll help you. You can pretend you don't buy it. The Cajun used to also. Look where it got him. Didn't you hear what that thing said? 'Not one of yours.' It's just odd that Kurt was spat out, but he wasn't. It's no mystery to me."

"What...? How can...?" Emma paused.

"Sure, it's a cowardly reason," Mystique said. "But we are cowards. And you know it. Make the smart choice, Frost. Before it's too late to make it." She sat back and was silent.

Emma was silent also.

Finally she said, "Even if it were so, I wouldn't know where to start. And what a joke...someone like me."

"Remember who you're talking to," Mystique said. "All of this is ridiculous, but it can't be stranger than the crisis at hand itself is. I think giving up on anything about it being normal might be best."

"True," Emma said. "Very true..." She leaned on her hand wistfully. "Goodness knows I could use some of that mercy.... All of us will have need of it. Putting all your eggs in one basket, though...if it fails..."

"If it fails, then nothing is going to work," Mystique said. "This kind of last resort can't really be topped. Either God can pull us out of this, or nothing can. It would be impossible for anyone to be stronger than that. I just bowed to the inevitable. You don't have anything better, Frost. We're literally relying on His servants to even try, let alone succeed. We have no way to help ourselves here. What's the use in your pride now? What's the use in your scheming and always trying to have something else lined up? There is nothing else."

Emma shook her head. "If you're saying that, it must be true.... C'est la vie. If we must, we must, I suppose.... In one way, it can't be more humiliating than what I've already been through here. How is it done?"

Mystique looked up. "Simply enough..."

[Hmm...more of a surprise, but not unpleasantly so, I hope.

Perhaps I should mention that not all conversion experiences indicate accepting the full teachings of the Bible. Few people know that much about it when they start. Time will tell if they wish to actually embrace it or not.

I see conversion more as the opening of a door, but one still has to walk it out before we could really say they've become changed. With some people, they know the second they do it that it will be for the rest of their life. Others, they only figure it out by years of trial and error.

So any objections based on how fast things are happening, I think, are answered there. It's a test of time. But who would not want help if they were facing the end of the world?]

https://youtu.be/Kt08YrhBsxQ

[Eternity-- Misty Edwards]

https://youtu.be/Pn0P0YTzo24

[A Lonely Place (alt version)-- Eurielle and Ryan Louder]

* * *

"Wolverine," Scott interrupted him while he was smoking a cigar, "if you had an opportunity to no longer be linked to someone, would you take it?"

"Would I what?" Logan said.

"I don't know," Scott said. "I couldn't think of anyone else who might understand. It's about Jean. You used to like her, right?"

"Yeah...used to," Logan said.

"But now you're with...Storm..." Scott said. "Did you ever feel...strange about just giving up on Jean?"

"Actually, since she's married, it was more of a relief to realize my feelin's changed." Logan was candid. "Not that it's any of yer business, Frat Boy. What's eatin' ya? Havin' second thoughts about yer girlfriend?"

"I wasn't, but Shine offered to sever our link...so that I won't keep...suffering like this." Scott rubbed his head. "I'm afraid it might be best for the team if I let her. But...I don't know if I can agree to that. It's like giving up a part of me."

Logan chewed on his cigar. "Maybe I know what that feels like...but I'd say ya have to call it. What's more important? Losin' that link won't ruin yer relationship with Jean, it'll just blind ya to when she's in trouble sometimes, right? Is it worth sittin' this out fer that? Ya don't really need it. I never had that with no one--doesn't mean I didn't care about 'em. It sounds a little spooky, actually, someone in yer head. Even if ya liked 'em, ya want to have yer own thoughts."

[Given that I can completely believe Logan saying that, he ought to be thanking his lucky stars he does not end up with Jean. Always thought they were a terrible match, myself.]

"So you think so," Scott said, "that real feelings won't be affected by removing a psionic link?"

"I don't see how they could be," Logan said. "Most of us don't have that. But we still have feelin's. It's more weird to have it at all."

"Does everyone just think that?" Scott said.

"It never makes ya feel like puppet?" Logan said. "Just a bit?"

"Would you accuse Jean of using it like that?" Scott frowned.

"Not on purpose, maybe, but it could just use itself," Logan said. "I don't know. It's weird to me."

"I'm starting to see why you follow Miss Likstar's words so much," Scott said. "The Professor never had any problem with that."

"Well, Scottie, I'll let ya in on what happened here," Logan said. "We all owe Chuck, and we'll never forget that. He's a good friend. He means well. But his ideas don't really work that well. Either ya realize that and move on, or ya keep tryin' them, hopin' it'll be different. I respect the guy, but I don't think he knows it all. Doesn't bother me. Likstar might be a sharp-tongued firecracker at times, but she's smart, and 'er ideas work. Maybe it's that guidance thing. Ya have to decide if ya want to move forward. Sounds like she's pushin' ya to decide that too. How long do ya want to keep moonin' over Jean and not doin' anythin' about it? So get rid of the link. Always can remake it later if ya feel like it's that important. But fer now? All of us would need a clearheaded fighter more than a lovesick puppy."

"You are definitely the same, almost," Scott said. "At times it's uncanny. Everyone else is so different."

"Can't improve on the Wolverine I guess," Logan said. "Or can't make it any worse. Depends on how ya look at it."

"You seem a little more peaceable, though," Scott admitted. "Less grumpy."

"Grumpy? Watch it, Pretty Boy," Logan said. "Ya ain't earned yer stripes enough to be name callin'!"

"Have you?" Scott said. "I don't know you that well either, doesn't stop you from calling me stuff."

Logan paused.

"Eh...guess I can't argue with that..." he admitted.

"And I don't think that was a name, it was an adjective," Scott said.

"And--ya ruined it," Logan said.

"Well, I guess if you're saying it, it's probably the right thing to do," Scott mused. "It's not like you have any interest in Jean, so...."

"Startin' to wonder if you actually have any interest in 'er," Logan said.

"Huh?" Scott startled.

"Compared to the Cyclops I know, ya don't talk about it that much." Logan used his claw to scratch his chin thoughtfully. "Spend more time starin' at Frost when ya think no one's lookin' than ya do askin' about Jean."

"That's not true!" Scott was mortified. "I do not stare... It's the glasses--they make it look like I am."

"Sure. I've known Cyclops long enough to know the difference," Logan scoffed. "I suppose she's not bad lookin' if you're a fan of that over the top type. Not my type, personally. But if you're reconsiderin', why should I care? Just man up and make yer choice about it."

"This has nothing to do with Emma," Scott said. "It's about the wisest decision. Emma is just a friend. I don't know where you'd get the idea that wasn't the case from."

"After she back-stabbed ya, surprised she's even that," Logan said.

"Well, I think we worked all that out," Scott said. "Didn't you decide to let it go too?"

"Yeah, but it ain't personal for me," Logan said. "Not really interested in Frost, either here or in yer world. None of my business. You, on the other hand...makes me wonder just how close ya were before ya found out."

"I wouldn't say we were close at all," Scott said.

"Would she say it?" Logan wondered.

"No, and this is not the point," Scott said. "You're just trying to confuse me, aren't you? I wanted clear advice, not...whatever your idea of a sick joke is."

"You're gettin' real jumpy for someone who's apparently never thought of it," Logan said. "Don't try to fool me, boy. I've lived long enough to know this story many times over. Out of sight, out of mind, is what it is. Normally I'd say it'd be a scummy thing to do, but on the other hand...you may never find Jean. We don't know how all this will stack up in the end, who'll live and who won't. Maybe makin' it as painless for yerself as possible would be smart. In case."

"That's not a nice thing to say," Scott said.

"It'll be hard enough dealin' with all that without extra pressure from yer link," Logan said. "That's common sense. Worry about the link if we survive. Shine wouldn't be suggestin' it if she didn't think it'd be smarter. She's usually right. Ask Rogue and Morph. Ya don't want to carry that kind of baggage into a fight. Could get ya killed--and someone else. And we're done here. That's all I've got to say about it."

He tossed his cigar ashes and walked away.

"Like a clone," Scott muttered. "At least he's not kicking me out this time... Good thing Storm is the one in charge. I can't see the one at home taking over."

Which made him wonder...why didn't he have any visions of home? Surely he should have by now...unless the block was still not fully gone from his mind...

What was all that about Emma? Wolverine was still as big of a prick as ever about people and their love lives.

Scott dismissed it as that and went back inside. It was cold anyway... He really had been more dressed for summer when he arrived, and going back to Winter wasn't the nicest feeling.

* * *

"So do you think he'll do it?" Wally asked Shine.

"Yes, but you never know," Shine said. "He's not always as easy to predict as our Scott. Thank goodness. I don't think that one would do it. But then, for him, it wasn't that debilitating."

"Yeah, I wonder why it's so different," Wally mused.

"I think Jean is different, that's why," Shine said. "And unpleasant, from the sound of it."

"Yeah, she does sound kinda manipulative," Wally said. "They aren't hitched yet, right?"

"No, not yet."

"I don't know why he doesn't just break up with her, then, after she pulled that. You shouldn't mess with your SO's head like that," Wally said. "I mean, who flirts with another guy if they're already in a long term relationship?"

"I suppose she never had options," Shine said. "Also, why does every man like Jean so much? I don't get it."

"Eh, some guys like uncomplicated," Wally said. "Not this guy, obviously." He gestured to himself. "But y'know...Jean's simple, right?"

"Not that simple," Shine said. "But I know only too well that guys like uncomplicated. What I never understood is how they imagine that any woman is actually uncomplicated once you get to know her. The ones who hide it are usually worse than the ones who seem like it upfront. Then it's a surprise down the road."

"If it helps, I think you're not very complicated about a lot of things," Wally said. "Just some."

"And you are too," Shine said. "Everyone is. Ah, men are so shortsighted...and women. Does anyone try to understand human nature before they date?"

"Nah, I think usually they're just lonely," Wally said.

"I do understand that," Shine said.

"But still, he's got Emma..." Wally said. "I mean...who wouldn't take her over Jean? Just...on a level of not as manipulative."

"It's funny when the liar and former cult member is less mean than the good girl," Shine said. "Or just more open about it. Emma always has some angle to work, but it doesn't bother me, because I know it and I don't have to care. I suppose, though, to the other X-men team, it would be disconcerting. I think she's sweet, really, though. Under it."

"I'll take your word for it. She kind of scares me," Wally said. "But you know, for Scott...why not?"

"Well, we really should stay out of it," Shine said. "Enough pressure is going on right now. But the link should go, one way or the other. I've never had any doubts about that."

Scott knocked on the door then and came in.

"Speaking of which," Wally said. "I guess you came to tell us what you decided, huh?"

"Yes, I thought about it," Scott said. "And it seems like this is just what makes the most sense. And even Wolverine said... Well, anyway...I want to be able to help. If this is the only way, then I guess...it's okay, right? We could just remake it later."

"Possibly," Shine said. "But I'd take a while to think about if you even want to do that."

"Never mind that. Can we just get it over with?" Scott said.

"Sit down," Shine said.

He sat down in a chair.

"So the old one-two with the sword?" Wally asked Shine.

"I suppose," she said. "Unless you can think of any more to it."

"I think he might have to be a little more active than that," Wally said. "Try thinking of when you think that link with Jean first started."

Scott thought. Probably that time with Magneto...

"All right," Shine said. "If you remember, just try to separate the emotion of that moment from the bond itself. Try to think of Jean separately from those feelings. Objectively, if you will."

"That's not easy," Scott said.

"If it was, this wouldn't be necessary,." Shine was, as usual, sassy. "Now if you've got it, just nod, and we can do our thing."

Scott struggled.

He thought he could sort of imagine it...not very well, but...

He nodded.

Shine pulled out her sword. Her eyes lit up.

"I can sort of see it," she said. "Reminds me of the tie with a different friend of ours...a little like Rogue's too. I guess it's the meeting of souls, isn't it?"

"Sure," Wally said. 

"Ready, Scott?" Shine asked.

Scott hesitated, then nodded.

It's for the best, he told himself. It won't change anything. I just need to be able to focus...

He still felt a little sick.

Shine, quick as you please, just drew her sword and sliced it through what she could see. They saw nothing.

But Scott felt something give way.

Memories of Jean flooded his mind for a moment, like he was getting some kind of recoil.

Then they subsided...and it felt...oddly empty...kind of clear also.

Like, he had no idea even how much his thoughts had gone this way, until it was suddenly not pulling at him.

"Could take a few tries," Shine said. "Unless you were already pretty much ready to let go...but you should feel something already."

"I do," Scott said. "Should it feel...empty?"

"Yes...you may also feel sad," Shine said. "That's normal. There's a stage of that for many people. But it passes, and you feel freer, more peaceful. So don't be alarmed if it's not great right off."

She smiled. "I'm proud of you, Scott, though. That took guts."

"I don't know if it was right," Scott said.

"It never feels right at first," Wally said. "We're too used to it. It feels right when you see it's doing the right thing."

[Wise words, by the way.]

Scott nodded.

"You may also have dreams," Shine warned, as he got up to leave. "Don't mind them though. It's just your mind processing what happened. Unless it's terrifying--then come talk to us at once. Could mean something is wrong. I doubt it will happen though."

Scott hesitated, then he left.

This was on the second day.

* * *

Everyone else got their affairs in order as well as they could. Kitty visited home again.

She was surprised to realize she was starting to feel she no longer belonged there. She had adjusted more to her new environment than she thought. Even so, it hurt to not be able to tell her parents what was going on. At least they seemed the same.

It was alarming that just in the last two days, some more of the team had begun to have those odd shared memories, Kitty included, also Hank.

Jubilee didn't though. It seemed she had no double in the other dimension. She wasn't sure whether to be relieved or not.

Storm began to see things also, but in some ways, it was so similar to her own life, she wasn't sure where the differences came in, but it felt different than her own memories.

Emma never had those memories, but she did dream about her world again.

No new information this time, they just seemed to be searching for something. Perhaps for a clue as to why the other Scott was there. Still no Jean.

She tried to yell at them in the dream, to tell them what happened, but if it got through, she had no sign of it.

But knowing now that the answers lay in the future, the lack of new info was not as frustrating--it just made it all the more clear they had only one choice.

Mystique had some more flashes of memory herself, but nothing particularly useful, it only chilled her to think about.

"I could disappear," she said to Morph. "I'm sure they'd like that."

"We'd find you," Morph said. "We'll find all of them."

"You believe that?" Mystique said.

"I kind of have to," Morph said.

True enough.

"There's another me out there," Mystique said. "You could meet her. Who knows? What if we merged? What would you do?"

"That would be awful. Don't even go there," Morph said.

"One is the same as another, isn't it?" Mystique said. "I'm sure with me there can't be that big of a difference. What I've seen of this woman convinces me of that. Maybe you'd like her."

"Well, maybe," Morph said. "I wonder if she'd be on our side, or if she's dumb enough to work for these guys. You'd think no one would be that crazy, but the others were."

"They're scared," Mystique said. "Except Selene, probably. She seems like she'd like this. But the others are probably just too scared to defy them. Still, it's convenient--there's two of me, in case I don't make it out of this."

"There's not really two of anyone," Morph argued. "I think I of all people should know that. You shouldn't talk like that. You're not replaceable."

Mystique bit her lip. Every time.

"I can be anyone. I'd be the most replaceable person out of all of us," she said.

"Kind of the opposite, actually," Morph said. "What's gotten into you? You're not planning on not making it out of this, are you? You can't give up before we've even tried."

"Well, I don't have the courage or else blind confidence of all of you," Mystique said. "Realistically, not all of us would, probably. I'm just wondering how..."

"Well, don't. It's morbid," Morph said.

"As it is, Apocalypse would certainly kill me," Mystique said. "It's how it is, Morph. You can't always think that things will work out perfectly."

"I do believe in beating the odds," Morph said. "Always have. You survived defying him once. Maybe you can keep the record going. You at least have to hope you can. I thought you were determined to do this also."

"I have little choice, but..." Mystique paused. "I don't know. It seems too easy. almost. Go to the future, find problem, fix it. It can't be that simple, not with them. That doesn't give me any confidence."

"Well, that's about as much info as we ever got in the Exiles," Morph said. "Somehow you just stumble through it, I guess."

"Surprised, in all this, you're not changing your mind about waiting," Mystique said.

Morph gave her a look. "That's not funny."

Mystique shrugged. "It's just odd."

"Well, it's better this way," Morph said. "We had a deal, so..."

Mystique put a hand out with the intent to tap him wryly.

Morph backed up. "Mystique!"

"Oh, relax." Mystique was a little offended. "It wasn't like that... I remember."

She frowned. "Still scared of me?"

"No, that's not it," Morph said. "Just...uh...you know, have to be careful not to misinterpret."

"If I bother you so much, I don't know why you insist on this." Mystique was definitely offended now...and guilty. "It was nothing, but you're always looking for it... I can't decide whether you're just skittish or you don't find me attractive." She stood up.

"Oh, no, it's not that." Morph turned red. "Kind of the opposite problem."

"Sure." Sarcastically.

"No, really," Morph said. "Maybe that's why I overreacted a little. It's not like...you know, I don't think about it--can't help it--but a deal is a deal, and it's just right, so...I just don't trust myself that much if I pushed it."

Mystique took a long look to be sure he wasn't just bluffing.

But he seemed to be sincere.

She regretted her words.

"That's really it?" she said.

Morph nodded, embarrassed.

Mystique didn't like that idea.

"I'll stop tormenting you," she said. "It's not fair, I suppose. I said it without thinking, that's all."

"That's fine," Morph swallowed. "I mean, in one way, it is flattering. Just...uh, please stop."

"I warned you," Mystique said. "But...I can try harder, I guess."

What was she even saying?

Funny, of all things that might have made it clear to her something was definitely different with her, that wasn't the one she expected. But she'd never thought she'd say something like that, ever.

Morph looked at her oddly, like he was thinking the same thing. "Wow," he said. "This has been a weird week, hasn't it?"

Mystique had to laugh. "Oh...average for this team."

[I do wonder how people are reacting to this idea of a relationship, given modern culture.

On one hand, some might say you should never push someone to do something they said they didn't want to do.

That's true, but I think people are only human. Sometimes they're going to slip up, but if the effort is there, you can forgive that.

I think women deal with this more than men and know how to spot a person who's just not going to quit pretty fast.

Grace was kind of an appropriate title for these last two chapters, since everyone needs that grace period to be able to decide who they're going to be, and how. A fair chance. That's kind of what the last two chapters were about, if you think about it.

But it'll be into the fire from this point, so, buckle up.]