The "talk" seemed better to have sooner rather than later, so Morph resolved to not waste a whole lot of time, after he discussed it with Wally.

He could tell Wally had found part of it funny, but he'd taken him seriously at the end, so he appreciated that. At least it was something.

Mystique had been wondering when it would come up. She had her own questions about what happened.

She didn't expect to feel so nervous about it. She'd been through this dozens of times.... Just...not with anyone who knew her all that well.

She kind of wondered if Morph had really understood what was going on all that well.... He was totally clueless about this sort of thing the rest of the time.

Maybe she'd jumped the gun a little...

Was this even really a good idea?

But rather than talk to someone about this, she kept these concerns to herself, so she felt a lot less better about them.

One thing she knew, she had a track record. She hadn't known that in the past, but all she'd learned since coming here (and meeting Shine, especially, with her constant way of analyzing) was that things have patterns.

And hers was to go from one relationship to the next, for whatever reason. Emma had her scalding theory about it. It might be true. She replaced real affection with some false substitute...keep herself safe that way.

She didn't know that much about why she compulsively did this--just that she did, and it never worked out in the long run, for various reasons.

But she had a vague idea that Morph, unlike most of the men she knew, was probably not the type to really sympathize with that kind of way of going through life. Nor would he appreciate the fake aspect of her past relationships...

So...

For all she knew the kissing had just been one of those spur of the moment things that people do and then never talk about again. She'd been there a few times. [I personally can't understand why people do that, but I know plenty of them do.]

Still, she'd have liked to be sure, but she didn't have the nerve to bring it up herself.

It was half a relief and half dread when Morph finally found her in one of the studies, looking through books for lack of anything else to do.

Morph scared her by coming in almost silent, so that she didn't see him till he cleared his throat.

She whirled around.

"Sorry...uh, is this a good time?" Morph felt like he was already starting this wrong, but what did you say here?

Mystique shrugged. And waited.

Morph wished she'd speak first, but since she didn't, he nervously said, "So...uh, about yesterday..."

"Yes?" Mystique waited again.

"I've been...thinking about it," Morph said.

Mystique thought this was a preamble to, "And I think we should just be friends."

Or possibly, "friends with benefits."

She figured as much.

"And I still don't get it," Morph said. "Looks like the only way to settle this is just to ask you.... So...um, what was that about?"

"Which part of it?" Mystique stalled.

"You know which part. The...you know...the..." Morph turned red.

"Making out?" Mystique said.

Morph winced. "Can you not use that word?"

"Two words, actually, and it's not like it's a bad word," Mystique said. "Honestly... And what do you mean? Isn't it obvious?"

She felt more embarrassed than she really should have. Normally people didn't make her explain herself. They just...did it.

[Everything wrong with superficial relationships in a nutshell.]

"Not really," Morph said. "You kind of gave me mixed signals?"

"I gave you mixed signals?" Mystique was incredulous. "You're the one who couldn't decide what he thought about it."

"I--okay, maybe that's true." Morph looked nervous. "But give me a break--I never had that happen...ever. So..."

"Yes, you said so," Mystique reminded him. "Fine...fair enough. I believe traditionally--" with some sass on that word, "--what happened would be classified as a sign of some kind of mutual attraction. But you tell me."

There now, she'd spelled it out for him. He couldn't be much denser than that, could he?

Morph blinked at her. "So...you...like me, is that it?"

Mystique wanted to kick herself.

"No, Morph, it was just an experiment," she said sarcastically, turning back to the bookcase as she angrily shoved a book back into it emphatically.

"I feel like your being sarcastic," Morph said. "Do you expect me to know? Okay, I don't know anything about how girls are...so..."

"What about how you are? I'm not hearing your reason for not stopping me," Mystique said, in a low voice.

Morph swallowed. "Well...it's...complicated..."

Complicated?

She turned back around. "In what way? Either you do or you don't."

"Not that part," Morph said. "Just...with being sure what you mean by that. I'm not sure how to talk about it."

"I don't really like talking about it," Mystique said. "I'm more of a just do it sort of person." She tilted her head. "I should have seen this coming though..."

"Yeah, about that," Morph said. "That's kind of the thing.... Okay...maybe I should start over.... The thing is...I do like you."

There, he said it!

He felt like he just stepped off a diving board.

Somehow, even after such obvious proof this was true, Mystique still had not really believed that, and she was shocked.

"You...do?" she said, like a high-schooler, but...okay, so Morph just didn't seem like the type who would.

"Well, yeah," Morph said. "And I didn't hate it, what happened, or anything, but I'm still confused. I mean...one moment we're fighting and the next...you know... I was just trying to apologize and then... It's confusing."

Men... Mystique thought.

"Well, some people would consider that just part of the moment..." she said dryly.

"Well, you see, I'm not sure I'm one of those people." Morph was getting more nervous. "So, can you just...you know, tell me? For once?"

Mystique hesitated.

"Well, the truth is, I wasn't sure what I was doing," she said, finally. "Not till I did it... It wasn't bad though."

Silence.

"That isn't really answering my question," Morph said. "But why we're on that...was it super obvious I've never...uh...made out before?"

"Yeah." Mystique shrugged.

Morph frowned.

"You were tense," Mystique said. "But other than that...not really what I was focused on, so.... Well, I've seen worse, if that helps."

"Not really," Morph said.

"It just comes with practice." Mystique really shouldn't have said that. She was scaring him more...but she was starting to find it mildly entertaining, to be honest.

Morph got even more embarrassed. "Hey!"

"Well, no one starts off perfect at it." Mystique couldn't help it.

"Stop it!" Morph covered his ears.

"I was talking about making out," Mystique said. "Stop overreacting."

"Do you enjoy this?" Morph complained.

"Do you enjoy pranking people?" Mystique shot back.

"Touche..." Morph swallowed.

But actually he felt a little better now. Maybe they just needed to clear the air.

"So...about that," he went on. "I'm not sure what to do now... And you still haven't really said if you even like me or not. I was kinda expecting the answer to be no--"

"After I kissed you?" Mystique forgot how awkward this was. She was just incredulous.

"Well, yeah," Morph said.

Mystique almost laughed, it was so ridiculous. "Why else would I do that?"

"Well...um...you kind of like to mess with me," Morph said.

Mystique wanted to slap him now.

"Yeah, do I do that with anyone else?" she asked.

You could practically see the light bulb go off in Morph's head.

"No... Huh, never noticed."

"Never noticed, huh?" Mystique finally just put the books down and walked
closer. This was getting ridiculous. "Sorry if I caught you off guard... I tend not to leave things to chance for that long... But I didn't think you'd return it, so...I was surprised also."

She tilted her head slightly. "So, now what do you want to do?"

"I'm not sure," Morph said.

"Not sure?" Mystique didn't anticipate that answer. "What do you mean not sure? Isn't there just sort of one course of action after this point?"

"Funny, that's what he said," Morph said.

"Who?"

"A friend. Never mind." Morph shook this off. "But...I'm not sure we have the same idea of what the next thing is, do we?"

Mystique didn't understand. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"I mean...it's been great being friends," Morph said, carefully. "I wouldn't want to mess that up."

Mystique had heard of this...but it had never happened to her before.

She had the weirdest sinking feeling, like something had just gone wrong.

"I'm sorry...are you...friend-zoning me?" she said. "That's what they call it now, right?"

"Not exactly," Morph said. "I mean...that sounds harsh. It's not that, it's just...well, I think that, as friends, we're good, you know?"

Mystique frowned. "You are friend-zoning me... Are you serious?"

"Well, hear me out," Morph said. "I just don't think it's a good idea to rush headlong into something with thinking it through."

"Headlong into...what? Intimacy?" Mystique said bluntly.

Morph turned red again. "Well, I guess if you want to be that open about it...yeah, that."

"So you just kiss people and then you stop at that?" Mystique said. "I've heard of this...but, I have to admit, this is the first time I've seen it."

"Are you getting angry at me?" Morph said.

"Why would I be angry?" Mystique didn't even know why she was angry. Didn't she see this coming?

"Mystique, you have to understand, it's not that I don't like you." Morph began to lose a little of his nervousness since she was getting upset. "It's that I think we're clearly different when it comes to what we think of as...you know...being with someone."

Mystique suddenly thought she saw what this was about.

"Oh," she said, stepping back. "You think I'm a slut, is that it?"

"I would never call someone that." Morph was horrified. "No!"

"That's what it amounts to, isn't it?" Mystique was angry--because she was ashamed. "I mean, you're well aware of my history, I suppose. Well, you're right...in a way... I have been one."

She looked away. "What can I say about it? I never saw a problem with that...if it's what you want. Anyway, it's not like anyone else was ever any better. But figures, you're one of those people who's not about that, right?"

"I think you might have taken this a little different than I meant it." Morph tried to assuage the situation. "I'm not saying that. I'm just saying what you expect from people is different than what I expect."

Mystique felt almost like she was going to cry, but she was still mad.

"I thought I'd hear this sooner or later," she said. "But not from you."

Morph shook his head. "But you're not listening. That's not what I'm saying."

"Then what are you saying, Morph?" Mystique said. "We're incompatible? It means the same thing. We have different expectations...so I expect some level of intimacy that you're not comfortable with. Isn't that the same thing as saying one of us is less chaste or whatever than the other? I wasn't going to throw the fact that you've had zero experience in your face, but I guess it never works the other way, does it?"

"I really think you're taking this the wrong way," Morph repeated.

"What other way is there to take it?" Mystique was bitter now.

"This is actually more of the problem." Morph maybe should have led with that. "It's just that you're really, really quick to assume the worst and then just bail. You look ready to run out of the room now."

She had been thinking about it, actually.

"And that's what I meant," Morph said. "I...I wouldn't want to just experiment, or whatever you call it, with something this serious. I'm the kind of person who wants to be serious about this, when it's this serious. I'm just...not sure you see it that way."

That felt really weird to say. He was kind of putting himself out there.

"See what?" Mystique really didn't get it still. She'd never heard anyone say anything like this before.

"I mean...I hate to say it like this, but...you discard people," Morph said.

Mystique still thought he was saying she was a slut, but now he was going further...and it stung, because that much was true.

"I don't want to get into something that I think is going to be great and someone else thinks is just going to be a short thing," Morph said. "That's what I'm saying... I just can't tell just from what you've been saying if that's what you're...expecting...so...and if it is...I can't do that, sorry... I'm not trying to insult you. It's just not how I think I am."

Mystique's anger died out a little...

Of course...she knew that already. Why else had she assumed this would never go anywhere? Never happen.

She looked down again. "I see," she said, much more subdued.

"Are you...still angry?" Morph couldn't tell.

"Now? I don't know." Mystique walked a little ways toward the door and then paused. "I sort of thought this might be it... I agree, in a way, we're too different. I've been this way for a long time. Even if I didn't like it, what could I do about it? I warned you about that. I had started to think maybe it didn't matter, but it still does."

"Mystique..." Morph felt like a jerk now.

"No need," Mystique cut him off. "I don't blame you for this. It's me. I started it...so..."

She had her hand on the door.

Morph had this thought that if he didn't stop this right now, it was irrelevant.

Running up, he grabbed her arm. "Wait, okay? Don't just walk out."

Mystique was dangerously close to crying, and this wasn't helping.

"Let go." She pulled free.

Morph got in front of her instead. "Can we not just end this on a negative note like this? I mean... is that it? You're just...just going to give up?"

"Give up?" Mystique repeated. "Who's giving up? You said it--it's just not possible. At least not without you feeling guilty about it, right? Well, you have enough problems with that, I suppose. I was just foolish to think this way at all. Force of habit, I suppose. I'm..." She lowered her voice. "I'm messed up, Morph. That's the truth... I really can't help it, in a way... I wish I could have. I mean...if it had to be someone here, it's a shame it had to be the one who was decent to me, but that's just it... I can't really...handle it, I guess. I slip into this, sooner or later. Always. I never saw much of a problem with that, but it's not for you. I suppose I can understand that. Just...don't make it worse, all right?"

Morph wasn't sure what to make of this. "I'm not sure that's the problem," he said. "It's not...feeling that way, it's just...what to do about it?"

"You're right that if I was a different kind of person it would be fine," Mystique said, opening the door. "But I'm not, and you're not. Don't take this personally, all right? I was like this already. I'm only sorry to drag you into it now. Can I go please?"

Morph was afraid to keep her in there any longer.

"Um...if that's what you want..." he said, uncertainly.

Mystique opened the door.

It wasn't what she wanted...exactly...but what else was she supposed to do here?

This was a first for her...but she had some idea you were just supposed to take no for an answer and get out...so...

She shut the door, and then she ran for it.

Morph felt the whole thing had not gone the way he wanted.

Mystique had an idea now, and she seemed pretty much convinced of it.

It still kind of stung though.... So she wasn't even willing to rethink her way at all?

What did he expect? But...still...didn't that just prove she didn't really care that much? Was this just another score to her?

https://youtu.be/KmrRGxxCYrc

["Fool" by Cavetown]

[I'd say any time someone gets that upset, they probably care...though to be fair, some people do pretend to get upset...but Mystique isn't usually one of them.

That hurt me...and it was pretty adult, too. I don't usually write about this kind of thing, but with this relationship it felt right. Hope you all enjoyed the deeper look at it.]

* * *

"So we know more but still nothing, really." Shine was talking to Emma about the folder. "It's just concerning."

Emma shoved it away. "Frustrating is more like it.... So...Jean's gone, really...and so is Psylocke.... How long before it's me?"

"Hopefully, never," Shine said. "But...there's other people they want. We don't know where to find them. Hank's still analyzing the other stuff we found. I almost don't want to know what it is now. This has all gotten too horror movie for me."

"It's run of the mill for the X-men," Emma said.

Then she winced. "Oh dear..."

"What?" Shine asked.

"Not me." Emma held up her hand to ward off concern. "I just got this sense.... I do believe your dear friend Raven is upset about something.... I wonder if it has to do with Morph."

"I didn't notice anything wrong there," Shine said.

"Yes, well...I think something might have gone on there finally," Emma said slyly. "I got that sense.... But it seems it didn't go so well. I feel considerable distress.... If Jean was here, she'd have felt it more.... Empathic things are not my strong point."

"Nor Xavier's," Shine said. "I suppose he's too busy going over all this with Hank to notice..."

"Go ahead." Emma sat back. "You want to check on her, don't you?"

"I might want to give her a bit to calm down, if she's really upset enough for you to feel it," Shine said.

"I wouldn't wait too long. She tends to run," Emma said carelessly.

Shine waited a whole five minutes, then, "You know, maybe you were right. I can't think right now. I'm going to find her. Thanks for the tip off."

"Not really trying to help, but whatever." Emma waved her off.

Shine raced out of the room.

https://youtu.be/DXNWPsc9CUU

[Song "Oxygen" by Switchfoot]

Mystique was in her usual place in the trees.... It was cold outside, but there wasn't snow under the more closely set-together trees, so you could sit there.

She looked up and saw Shine coming.

"Is there any time you don't know where to find me?" she said crossly.

"I have Sight, remember?" Shine pointed to her eyes. "So no.... What happened?"

"I don't want to talk."

Shine gave her a long look. "Well...aren't you cold? Here..." She summoned a coat. "At least put this on if you're going to sit here."

Mystique didn't make a move to take it.

Shine put it on her lap resolutely.

"If you don't want to talk right now, fine," Shine said slowly. "But what it is...maybe it's not as bad as you think. If you just...you know, let it out."

"I doubt that..." Mystique said.

She put the coat on and shivered.

"Is it about Morph?" Shine asked.

Mystique looked up at her warily. "Why is that your first guess?"

"Emma's, actually," Shine said. "But she didn't go into details, so...I'm not sure."

"Of course..." Mystique said. "Well, if she knows, why not you?" She sounded bitter. "Morph and I kissed, yesterday."

"Oh!" Shine was not ready for that. "Wow...that didn't take long."

"N--What?" Mystique said. "You...knew?"

"Morph basically admitted to liking you about a week ago or so now," Shine said. "After you visited the time palace...something happened then, remember? I guess it hit him afterwards...but he seems like a slow burn type of guy, so I didn't think much would happen right off..."

"Well, you're right, not much is going to happen." Mystique was upset enough to spill the whole thing without thinking about the consequences of doing so. "He doesn't think we're 'on the same page.'... Well, I suppose that's true, but I can't believe I even entertained the thought..." She kicked the tree.

Shine dodged a pine cone that fell out of it.

"I take it the 'talk' didn't go so well," she said. "Wally mentioned to me that something might be going on there, but he didn't say anything else about it. I was doing something else at the time..."

"So everyone just talked about this," Mystique said.

"I don't think anybody but the two of us, and Emma, since she's kind of a snoop," Shine said. "Sorry, we talk about everyone, but he's not judgy so...don't worry about it. We were going to stay out of it mostly. Morph just wanted advice about it, that's all."

"And I suppose you encouraged him to do the 'mature' thing," Mystique said, with an edge to her voice. "Not getting involved with me."

"No." Shine sat down against a different tree and pulled her knees under her to keep warm. "We don't really tell people one way or the other usually, unless the other person is very obviously too messed up to be in a relationship. And I mean...psycho or abusive, not just having issues. The rest of the time, we just give feedback on the difficulties and benefits of relationships, usually. Let them decide if they want to go forward with it."

"Must have dwelt on the cons a little too much, then," Mystique said.

"You're very upset about this," Shine noted. "Have you ever been rejected before?"

"Not like that," Mystique said. "And...not usually. But then usually...well, you know what I do."

"I do," Shine admitted. "Though we don't talk about it. I never thought less of you for it, though. If God thinks people like you are worth while, then who am I to say no? But...I never thought it was so very much, Raven.... Didn't you usually just find people and get with them?"

"Sometimes," Mystique said. "But we both know...not always. Maybe I am a slut." She leaned back.

"I'm sure Morph never used that word," Shine said.

"No, but it all comes down to it. I can't commit," Mystique said. "I drift.... What else do you call that?"

"I'm not sure I'd label that being a slut. That's not a very nice term," Shine said. "I assume you've been called that before, is that it?"

Mystique nodded silently. Not like she cared.

"You know, not everything people call you is true," Shine said. "I've been called a bitch and witch, and I'd like to think neither of those are true of me."

"But, we both know, I'm not a good person." Mystique was staring at the tree tops. "I used to not care, I think.... I think I almost liked it, dragging people down to my level. They weren't really any better than me, I thought. But I don't like it now."

"If so, perhaps you've already begun to change," Shine said quietly. "I've seen it, Raven.... You're not the same person you were when I met you."

"What makes you think so?" Mystique said dully. "Like I've really been tested on that.... You just think that because I've not betrayed you, probably...but that's only because I haven't had the chance to do so."

"I'd say you did, and you chose not to, this time," Shine said. "It's...not easy to change, Raven. Maybe you don't see much significance in little choices, but, the truth is, that's how it always starts. Little things...things that add up, and then one day, it'll be a big thing. You've made little choices, here and there, you just don't think they matter. But I do. Sin starts with little choices also. Sin and Righteous are the same there. Once you start making one step one way, it's hard not to make another one."

"We all do things that some people think are good and others don't. No one is consistent," Mystique argued.

"Yes...but when it hits us what course we're really on, and we begin to veer off of it, either to the left or the right, we usually keep veering that way," Shine said. "Most of us just never realize whether we're really good or evil...but you had that slap in the face a while ago, didn't you? We haven't talked about it a whole lot. I was giving you time to feel it for yourself. But I think we need to talk about that now.... Is it possible you really just want to be different?"

Mystique looked at her finally. "Different? Not bad, you mean...not selfish."

"Just as a thought experiment," Shine said, "try to think, if you could be any way you wanted...really, not just taking that shape, but really any way you wanted...would you choose to be a good person?"

Mystique shrugged. "I don't know how to even think of that."

"Okay...who do you think of as a good person?" Shine asked.

"I suppose...Kurt is one," Mystique said. "You.... Don't get a big head over it.... Morph, I guess.... Probably the X-men--some of them, anyway."

"And would you be more like us if you could be?" Shine asked. "Just...suppose you could just be hatched all over again, as one lady said. Would you be?"

Re-hatched?

Mystique thought to herself. If she could start life all over again...who wouldn't want to make better choices than she had?

"Undoubtably," she said, with certainty. "I'm not sure there's anyone who wouldn't do that. If it could begin all over again...and I could not have been as weak as I am."

Shine nodded. "Yeah...I used to wish I was a different kind of person...until I became one. But...you know by now what we believe about this."

"You think praying and singing and trying to do good is enough to change someone," Mystique said. "But it's not."

"Right you are," Shine said. "I hope you have not misunderstood the whole point. I know, Kurt always says that he'll pray for grace...and we do, because we always need more. The truth is, grace is something we increase our capacity for. But the initial bit of grace that starts us...it's not based on us understanding what it is to be good. It's about us knowing we don't know--we don't get it. And we wish we did. Jesus said to someone who asked him about it, a learned man, actually one of the moral teachers, 'You must be born again.' And the fellow, Nicodemus, asked him how one can be born again--can he reenter the womb? Jesus told him you have to be born of water and of the spirit..."

She rubbed her arms. "Yeesh, it's cold.... Anyway, the rest of it goes:

"...unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. 6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. 7 Do not marvel that I said to you, 'You must be born again.' 8 The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit."

She smiled. "That last part is talking about DJs, I always thought. But also just everyone like that. Do you understand this, Raven? Flesh is flesh, spirit is spirit. We teach that all of us are dead inside our whole lives, because the sin inside us kills us early on. Once we sin, we die, in a way, because our innocence dies, and something about us, that makes us essentially alive, has to do with innocence."

Mystique nodded. "Yes...I could believe that.... You've not talked about this before."

"I suppose I never thought to," Shine said. "The truth of it, Raven, is that it's not where we start from with God, it's just that we come to Him, knowing what we are, the rubbish and filth and brokenness and all the things that make us hate ourselves and each other, and we bring that to Him. And He offers us a choice: either stay that way, or let Him make us new. Born again. We pray for forgiveness, as Christians, because we are still being perfected, and we need help to get closer, but the actual starting point, we ask for more than forgiveness, we ask to be made a new person, to essentially start all over again. And all it takes is believing in it. Jesus went on in that passage:

"'He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already...9 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light...for everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.'" [All of this is from John 3]

Shine paused for breath. 

Mystique nodded slowly. "It's true enough...about loving darkness.... They do."

"Which is why someone who is already confessing what they did must already have started to love the light," Shine said. "As you have.... Raven, to be blunt again.... You've been trying for a long time to get some idea of what all this is. You felt it when Kurt told you that first time, didn't you? That there was a solace in this...and that you once wanted to be better. But you missed the key part there.... God does not love us because we are good, nor does He expect us to be good when we come to Him. He just asks that we want to be cured. The condemnation is that people love darkness. They love their sickness, and they love their sin. Not that they don't still do it while hating it. You see...it's the loving sin first that we have to be cured of. Doing it will come afterwards. And isn't it so that slowly you have come to hate what you do? More and more? I've watched you."

Mystique was silent...because it was true. That had been the entire last year of her life. Even before coming here...but especially after that.

Their light..which she saw, even if she didn't understand it, had made her feel dark and dirty by comparison...but it had also drawn her, in a way. She'd been at war with that all this time.

"Even so..." she said, and her voice was small, as if she was saying something she hadn't dared to say before, "do you really think...it's at all a possibility for me? Do you know how long I've been this way? I don't remember a time when I wasn't."

"Raven, do you think I can remember a time when I did not sin?" Shine asked candidly.

Mystique stared at her.

"Ask anyone," Shine said. "The only thing you don't seem to understand is that you're just like everyone else. We all feel that way. Oh, most of us lie to ourselves about it, most of the time. We're conceited, goodness knows, and we're prideful. But you aren't--at least, for someone who's not even saved yet, you aren't. Pride is always behind what we do wrong, but in some of us less than others. I wish I remembered a time when I was pure, Raven...but all I can tell you is, I remember the moment I felt God give that back to me. I felt clean.... I will never forget that moment. But I'm not an unfallen person either. I'm a redeemed one. I missed the chance at being unfallen, along with all the rest of us, but God promises to restore us back to what we were supposed to be. All I want is for as many people to get that as possible. However bad they are to begin with, God doesn't care, so why should I? But this is not about me anymore, this is about you."

She pointed at her. "I can see this is making sense to you, isn't it? So, what will you do about it?"

Mystique gripped her clothes. "I'm afraid to do anything. If I dared to think I could ever change...and then I didn't...what else is there left?"

"So you just don't take it forever, and then you never know...and then you will die this way," Shine said.

Mystique hadn't heard it out loud before.

She looked up. "How ridiculous..."

"Uh, yeah." Shine was direct.

"Still...all I've done up to this point was bad enough," Mystique said. "Even if I never did it again..."

"No matter, Raven. It's paid for already," Shine said. "He died for that...what more do we need? I can tell you're close.... Why not just take the plunge? I promise it hurts less on the other side than it does avoiding it.... I tried that myself.... Worst time of my life.... I felt so stupid when I finally came around, but I would never go back. I venture to say, you wouldn't either."

If it were true...

If it were just possibly true...

Shine held out her hand, waiting for some sign.

Mystique thought to herself, What do I really have to lose here? 

Everything else was gone anyway...

Maybe just one last time...one last chance of trying for something...something for once that was bigger than herself.... Was it a possibility it might finally work?

At least it was a better shot than striking out alone again...

It wasn't a lot of confidence, but Mystique couldn't have mustered up that much anyway. Perhaps it was enough.

She took Shine's hand and nodded slowly. 

https://youtu.be/9E5Kcx86qMI

[While some people may not agree with this decision, I felt from the second I saw Kurt and her's episode that it was the only way this could really end well for her.

And I'd have to ask anyone who objected, do they really think she will ever get a better life in the comics? The writers cannot commit to one thing or the other with Mystique. So, if one wants to give her a chance, they have to pick something. That's all there is to it. I also have nothing to say to people who would just prefer characters to stay bad and miserable. Not sure they really get the point of fiction.

Funny what kicked it off, isn't it? But I think it was the final push she needed to realize she hated being the way she was. I've heard stories like that.]