[OP: "Strong Enough to Save" -- Tenth Avenue North.]

"Above all, avoid lies, all lies, especially the lie to yourself. Keep watch on your own lie and examine it every hour, every minute. And avoid contempt, both of others and of yourself: what seems bad to you in yourself is purified by the very fact that you have noticed it in yourself. And avoid fear, though fear is simply the consequence of every lie. Never be frightened at your own faintheartedness in attaining love, and meanwhile do not even be very frightened by your own bad acts." Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov.

* * *

Shine read the above quote to her class at the end of the week before the Conference, just a couple days after the conversation with Scott, Logan, Mystique, and Morph.

Since then, Mystique had said nothing at all to deter her and had been helping her prepare without complaint. It was to show Scott up, now that she'd gone so far to insult him, which Logan and Morph told Shine about later.

Shine knew better than to bring it up to Raven, who would have probably denied any actual concern.

But she told the other ladies on the team about it...except Jean. Scott would tell her his own side no doubt anyway, and Shine didn't care to get in the middle of a fight between them again. It didn't end well.

Rogue was always surprised when Mystique did anything she could agree with at all. And Storm commended Shine for even inspiring that kind of confidence in someone so mistrusting.

But Shine told Storm not to commend her.

"I have given it my best, certainly, but Raven is not so easily swayed," she said. "You can be sure whatever she is thinking now, she has been thinking for some time and is only now deciding what to say about it. God works on the hearts of people while we are not looking, Storm. I would not gloat to her about it. I made that mistake in the past, and it was foolish. Not with her, but with others, when I was young and new."

"Well, we all do that," Storm said. "But surely you have put in all this time with her for a reason."

Shine looked at her oddly. "I suppose...or, I just care. Perhaps I like her in earnest. I can't explain what it is, but despite her prickliness, Raven tends to make me feel understood in some way that I rarely find with anyone. So do you. But not the same as her."

"I know we have a lot in common," Storm said, "but what could you have in common with her? You could not be more different."

"You'd think so," Shine said. "But, Storm, I think it's like how you and Logan are different."

"Logan? We are different, but how does it connect?" Storm said.

"You're different, but you understand each other well," Shine said, "and always have. That could only happen if deep down you were somewhat the same. At first I didn't see why, but then it became clear to me. You both try to be fair, and have compassion to people who need defending, and are warrior minded, though you express it differently. You are controlled and serene, usually, while Logan is a hothead, but under that, the motives are pretty much the same. It's not a coincidence that both of you were drawn to us first. That is what we all have in common, wanting similar things and coming to bring them about. You just wanted direction...and we needed people to get on board with us in order to do anything. We fit together."

"How does Mystique mirror you in the same way, then?" Storm conceded the point about herself.

Shine thought. "Sometimes she gives it back to me, the way I talk to people and try to read them. Professional hazard I suppose. She uses it to manipulate people for her many jobs, trying to survive and fulfill a task for less than reputable people. I use it to get around obstacles and serve God to my best ability. We have different approaches and goals, yet our skills coincide, don't they? So she understands me, and she understands what it is like to be good at that and have many people not like that about you. It's not an easy gift to have, managing...perception." She frowned. "Something, I'm sorry, that you cannot understand, Ororo. You are perceptive, but not the same way I am. You'd never think of using it to get your way."

"Yes...and you do." Storm couldn't help but have noticed this in all this time. "Normally I would not like that, but you always want to push people to do the right thing, not to serve yourself."

"It's tempting to try to serve myself," Shine said. "You know, I could have made Scott like me months ago if I wanted to. But I'd have had to be okay with lying about what I really think and feel and believe in. Do you know, the idea appears in my head at times? I could say this, and probably get away from their anger...and to my embarrassment, I have back tracked in the past...not with important stuff, but even in private arguments when I knew I was right. It's hard to stick to what you really think if someone else is angry. And someone with the skills to maneuver a conversation is going to try to get the attention off them. I've seen it. So...Raven's life makes perfect sense to me. And that's who I'd have been, I think, without Jesus. God gave me a sense of direction and purpose that overrules that temptation, often. But without it? I'd have drifted, just like that. Your strengths turning bitter make the worst flaws, Storm."

Storm listened to this, and then she nodded. "I see. This is why you are patient with her."

"I suppose that's part of it," Shine said. "I think she has figured this out about me. Oddly enough, she accepts it." She smiled cheerfully. "It could be worse. She could be envious. But it's strange--Raven is many things I can't agree with, but I've hardly caught her being envious. She seems fully aware she chose this life, long ago. And can't blame anyone else for that choice."

"So you think that she's honest," Storm said. "Like you."

"Not fully honest," Shine said. "But I have found her more honest than most people would dare to be in her position. I'm not just being nice when I say we're friends. I'm serious."

"In that case," Storm said, "I will treat her as such. Actually, she is not so bad now. Now that she has been here willingly, she has not done anything to offend me. But I have not made much of an effort to befriend her."

"You don't have to just because I said that," Shine said. "I know how the rest of you feel. I understand why."

"But you would not want us to give in to our grudge, would you?" Storm said.

"No, I wouldn't," Shine said. "But you can decide without me what you will do. I know that."

"Yes, Shine, but I value your input on these matters," Storm said. "You know this by now. And if this is how you feel about Mystique, then perhaps there is just something we are missing. You singled her out from the start, and we did not support it, but she came back here, on her own, because of your kindness--that's clear enough. If that could happen with others...well, we have never accomplished this."

"God's ways will always be a mystery to us," Shine said. "That is how we know it's God... You know, you should sit in on my class later. The kids will be deciding whether to join us on Friday or not. The lady in charge of staff accommodations called me and said they put aside 6 rooms for our group alone, because they thought we might bring some mutants with us. Each room can hold up to four people, maybe 6. That should be plenty."

"I suppose I could join you," Storm said.

Shine smiled.

* * *

Hence the quote she used with the group.

"You all were reading 1 John this week, right?" she said. "You know how chapter 4 talks about fear and love, and how God is love, and perfect love casts out fear. Does anyone think this quote by Dostoyevsky is similar to that?"

The kids studied the quote. Shine had written it out on a whiteboard that she used for this class.

It wasn't just kids--Morph often sat in on this also, and so did Hank. Hank liked it because of the quotes and philosophical questions.

Today, Colossus had joined them also--and Kitty also, surprisingly...only because she'd been asked to specifically by Shine.

"Is good book," Colossus said. "I read it before."

"Yes, it's a good read," Shine said. "And thought provoking."

"I think it's saying," Ryan spoke up, "that you can't be afraid, you know. You have to choose love instead, and I think that this Russian guy--I can't say his name, sorry--but he's saying that fear is a lie, and that it's okay to be afraid to love as long as you keep trying, and you shouldn't judge other people too much."

"And this all has to do with that conference, doesn't it?" Kitty spoke up, a little snidely, they thought. "You want to convince us not to be scared to go out in public and say we're mutants, and to love humans, and stuff. Right?"

"Well, Kitty, you are jumping a little ahead of our discussion," Shine said with her wry tone that meant she wasn't going to tolerate sass. "But if you think you've got my whole point figured out, go ahead and tell the whole class here what these quotes really mean."

Everyone looked at Kitty smugly.

Kitty fidgeted. "I don't know, it's not like I studied it. I read the book once, for a class.... I didn't remember that much of it though. I just think he's talking about giving yourself a chance and believing in yourself."

"So we should believe in ourselves and go and admit that we're mutants?" Ryan said.

"Okay, hold on." Shine held up a hand. "Why do we always say 'admit' that we're mutants? It's nothing to confess. You are what you are. But we always say that, too: 'admit that I'm human.' Why do you suppose that is?"

"People are embarrassed to be mutants," Jubilee said, shrugging. "It can feel like being a freak."

"So can being a human," Shine said. "I don't know if any of you are aware of something called the Human Condition. Among other things, it includes the need to be loved and the struggle we all have with doing the right thing, no matter how much we try to be good people. Some people feel a sense of shame and discouragement when they think of who they will fail, no matter what. It's grown popular in my time to go on and on about it, in fact. And to compare ourselves to monsters. And this is without powers. Do any of you feel the same sometimes?"

They nodded.

"Oh, sure," Leech said.

"But the real question--did you ever feel like that before you knew you were a mutant?" Shine prodded.

The kids exchanged looks.

Finally, Jubilee nodded. "Yeah...I think because no one ever wanted me, so I thought something was wrong with me." She suddenly sniffled a little. "The X-men were the first people to make me feel like that wasn't true..."

Storm patted her shoulder.

"Colossus has felt this," Colossus spoke. "Not for being mutant. But for wondering if he always do what he should do." He seemed troubled about something.

Kitty fiddled with her hair.

"So we all have," Shine said. "At least, I have.... What if I told you that most humans feel that way sometimes? I think having a mutation just gives you something to direct that feeling at. Otherwise, most of us spend our whole lives trying to figure out what's wrong with us, up until we give up on it and become complacent. According to this author, fear is what's wrong with us and lies. And fear is the consequences of lies. So, which of you will tell me what this has to do with the fear we all have of going out in public...? I'm afraid too." She shrugged. "Not that it'll stop me. But I have nerves about it, sure. I can even admit why. I wonder if I am inadequate to this situation and if I have made a mistake along the way...but then I think, no, God has led me this whole time, and I am not leaning on my own understanding. But that is me. I want to hear what you all are thinking."

The kids, and adults, exchanged looks again.

"I'm afraid," Kevin spoke up. "Afraid that people will think I'm frightening. But sometimes, I frighten myself. Is that a lie?"

"That's an excellent question, Kevin," Shine approved. She took out her dry erase pen and wrote on the bottom of the board. "Where exactly is the lie?"

"You see, it's not always as simple as what we're afraid of," Shine said, slowly. "Sometimes we are afraid, but that's not the lie. There could be a real threat. But the threat would not bother us, if there wasn't a lie mixed in that we are always afraid of. For example, the fear of death is based on wondering what will happen to us after we die and being afraid of pain. We assume pain is a bad thing. We also assume that the afterlife is not better than this life. Religion seeks to help us overcome both those fears so we can die bravely when our time comes. For some people apparently it works. They choose martyrdom over renouncing their faith. Some things are more important than pain. That is a truth. Pain is the thing to avoid at all costs--that is another lie. And we believe that, so we fear danger. If we didn't fear pain, danger would be nothing."

"Oh...that makes sense," Ryan said. "I never thought of it that way. I get it. We think going to this thing is dangerous because of what could happen, but you're saying maybe thinking about what could happen isn't what we're really afraid of."

"Yes," Shine said. "So, let's see if we can all figure out what we're really afraid of. This will be hard, so don't feel bad if your mind is blank, but any ideas?"

They stared at her for a moment.

"If I may," Storm said. "I think we fear what we could lose if this does not go well."

Shine wrote this down.

"Is there a lie in that?" she asked.

They all thought again.

"I think," Morph spoke suddenly, "that the lie could be that avoiding this situation will make us less likely to lose. We could lose something any time, really." He looked somber. "And there might be nothing we can do about it. So you have to do the right thing, whether or not it seems risky."

"Okay," Shine wrote, "Truth: Loss is not something we can control with caution⚠️"
across from the other thing.

"I have one," Colossus said. "Failure can make us think we did the wrong thing."

"Very common." Shine wrote: "Failure means what we did was wrong." on the lie column.

"And the truth?" she asked.

"Sometimes even our best is not good enough for people," Hank spoke somberly. "But it's their choice, not ours. Everything can go right in an operation, but sometimes the person needs to be able to accept the treatment for it to work."

"Like when you transplant an organ," Shine mused. "The doctor can do it right and give medication for it, but the person's body has to accept it, in the end. Very good example, Hank."

In the truth column, she wrote, "Success or failure are not always dependent on our actions, but on other people's responses to them."

"Anything else?" she asked.

"Leech think people afraid that nothing we do make any difference," Leech spoke up somberly.

"Oh, yes," Shine agreed. She wrote in the lies side again, "Nothing I can do will matter anyway."

"And the truth?" she asked.

But here no one spoke. None of them had ever actually answered this question for themselves. And it haunted them all.

Shine realized no one knew after a minute had gone by.

"I see," she said. "I guess only I have had this one answered for me.... I have asked God about this extensively. I think if Kurt and Wally were in here they'd say the same as me, by the way. But the truth is that everything we do matters. If to no one else, it matters to God. He watches us to see if we will be faithful in small things.... No one but us knows all the actions we take. Whether we held back from giving all we could have, whether we stole when no one was around to see it, whether we thought something nasty about someone and didn't try to stop ourselves. What we said about them when no one was around to hear us."

Everyone looked guilty now.

Shine shrugged. "But God cares about all of it because it shows what is in our hearts. To God, none of our actions are insignificant, except the ones He's forgotten about because we repented of them. But even to others, sometimes the smallest actions we do shows them our intentions. Many times, I have done something not thinking about it, and either been told it hurt someone, or been told that they saw my character because of it. Most people will overlook a small offense if they think they'd have done it themselves, like keeping five extra cents if they get too much change back...but if you return it and are honest about it, it says a lot about you to them. Keeping it would have said nothing. So to me, this is the truth."

She wrote down: "Everything we do matters."

The others looked at those words a long moment.

"You all must think about this now," Shine went on somberly, "because every day you are deciding who you will be for the rest of your life. And that could change at any time. We are changeable beings. But the more you know about what's right, the higher your responsibility is to choose, and the harder it will be to can your mind later if you ignore what is right on purpose. Sometimes people who know no better have an easy time changing because their mistakes were just old hat, and the new thing is so different to them that they can't mistake it for what they did before...but those of us taught better have a greater responsibility to know what to do. I have even more, because I'm teaching you what I think is right. I had better be right."

She looked somber. "So...what do you think?"

After a long pause, Ryan said,

"In the long run...if we don't go, and if we hide here...it's what everyone would expect us to do, and maybe they'd do it too, they figure. So maybe they don't think less of us...but they won't think we're any different either. Is that what you mean?"

"It's not really what I meant," Shine said. "I mean we should do the right thing, but if that is what came to you, Ryan, I think you have your own answer."

Ryan looked somber. "Okay, then...I'm going to go."

"Yeah, after that, what else can we do?" Jubilee said.

"Well, this is not to guilt trip you," Shine said. "If you don't feel like you're supposed to go, then don't go. I am merely trying to show you that if you do feel like you should, but you're afraid, it is not okay to just give into that fear."

"That's it, then," Jubilee said. "Anyway, I've done worse things, right? I mean...more dangerous things."

"That's probably true..." Shine had to laugh.

"Well, I don't know." Kitty stood up. "I guess I see what you're saying, but no one will care if we show up or not. And if God cared about it, maybe He'd talk to us Himself about what to do. Because if He's not gonna guarantee it goes well, I don't know why I should guarantee I'll be there. So...is this over?"

"You may go if you want." Shine took that with more meekness than they thought she would. 

Kitty phased through the door.

"Are you going to let her talk to you like that?" Morph asked Shine.

"Kitty is only saying what she feels," Shine said. "She didn't insult me. I can't give her faith, Morph. She must have that on her own. At least she heard what we had to say first."

"Still, is important to try to reach out to humans," Colossus said. "Colossus will go. Russians show no fear."

Th other kids agreed to attend also.

https://youtu.be/6Awpd10RNYk

"For caution's sake," Shine said to the adults, later, "we are letting the kids come Friday. But on Saturday, which will have three meetings, they are only allowed to come in the morning. This was suggested by the board in charge of this thing, to keep them safer, but not to leave them out. Also, we planned the meeting so that the other ones will talk about more...adult subjects, as mutants have a lot of problems that we just can't talk about with kids around, and human kids will be attending the other services of course, as well as mutant ones. So we had to think of the parents also."

"I'm glad someone thought of that," Hank said. "I had been concerned about that. Not everyone is old enough to hear some of our stories.... By the way, did you decide whose to tell?"

"I've been writing down all of yours," Shine said. "Not using your names, of course. But I have to show you my notes. Anything you want me to take out, I will. Even Storm--of course, she can decide for hers."

"Now that it comes to the point," Storm said, "I feel far less sure I can do this." She rubbed her arm. "But I said I would. It's too late not to now."

Shine knew she wouldn't back out even if she was offered the chance, so she said nothing about it.

* * *

Friday arrived. And everyone had the jitters all day.

"Will you be coming?" Storm asked Mystique politely. "All of us will be going to make sure it's safe."

"Will I be going where I know people who will target all of us are going to show up?" Mystique said.

"I suppose that answer makes sense," Storm said.

"I've been trying to decide," Mystique surprised her by saying next. "I figure it doesn't really make a difference where I am, at this point, if I'm around all of you. I don't quite like the idea of being stuck here alone, either. I'm not so sure no one will come here."

Storm hadn't thought of that.

"But I don't want to sit with the rest of you," Mystique said. "Or be caught..."

"Perhaps you could sort that out," Storm said. "If you are uneasy about being here alone, it's true, everyone else is going to attend...though not all of us will actually participate. Gambit and Cyclops are only going to make sure no attacks happen."

Mystique had no wish to hang around them.

"Perhaps I will just blend into the crowd," she said coolly. "Since I am no longer a prisoner, you can't actually stop me."

"No, I suppose not," Storm said. "As long as you take care to be with us when we depart also."

Her tone implied that she thought Mystique was taking the easy way out, but she didn't press her about it.

All things considered, Mystique found that more civil than she expected.

Since they were all going, they took the Blackbird.

"Figures good ol' Texas would be the spot to host this," Rogue commented as they were flying over the country. "Think they'll have their guns?"

"In their trucks probably," Wally said. "Boy, this will be fun though. This church is huge--because it's in Texas, right?"

"Ha," Morph laughed. "Funny...Houston, right?"

"Yeah," Wally said. "I guess they thought they'd be easy to find."

"Let's hope not too easy," Scott muttered.

"If my friend Magneto does show up, or his associates," Xavier said, "I will personally try to convince them not to cause a stir."

"If you have your usual amount of success," Wally said, "I think we might have to evacuate early."

Xavier frowned at him. "Well, I hope he will not really be so foolish. He must know attacking a church would only earn him hatred from humans."

"And bombing them wouldn't?" Shine looked at him. "Does he care about that?"

Xavier wasn't sure what to say. "Well...he is a very lost man. Angry.... That does not always make him wise. But he tries to be just, in his own way."

"If that comforts you, good for you," Shine said. "I doubt it would comfort anyone who's suffered for his actions."

She looked back out the windows.

"I hope that Warren, Kitty, and Trudy will be fine on their own..." Hank mused. "At least Jean will be in contact with us through Cerebro."

Jean was going to try to warn them early if any trouble started.

Arriving in Houston not too long later, they were able to hide the Blackbird in a unused lot, and flew themselves, or ran, the rest of the way.

Voice of Truth, Church of Christ  was a huge property with several buildings for offices, classrooms, ministry, and so on.

Even bigger than the churches they'd visited with Billings to do the tour before.

"Well...this is Texas all right," Wally joked.

"That's a lot of people..." Jubilee said.

Even 3 hours before the service was to start, half the lot was full already.

There was a pre-service dinner, but even that hadn't started yet.

Even a few of The Way members had attended this.

"Hey!" Trinity spotted them. She'd come with Mike and Anne themselves, by her parents' reluctant permission. They thought she'd be safe enough with them.

Also along were Caleb and Brittney and Caleb's sister, Nancy, who'd supervised them at the camp and was in charge of making sure all of them were staying out of trouble while the pastors did their jobs.

"Hey!" Jubilee was pleased to see her again. Nancy had been very cool to have as a counselor. And she knew about Jubilee being a mutant, and Ryan, and was okay with it. Even stuck up for them.

"Hey, Jewels." Nancy hugged her. "I'm glad you made it.... And, Ryan, nice to see you.... Did you grow?"

"A little..." Ryan said sheepishly.

"Nancy, this is Kevin," Trinity introduced him. "He's new."

Kevin waved nervously at Nancy. There were a lot of people around here. It was making him nervous.

"Hello," Nancy said. 

"And this is Col--uh, Pietro," Jubilee said.

"Hello," Colossus said.

"Hi." Nancy looked him up and down, like she couldn't believe how tall he was.

"Every time," Rogue said, amused.

"Well, look, de welcome wagon is here." Gambit pointed.

Along the street outside the church there was already a crowd of protesters...and some news vans getting set up.

"They said to sneak in the side entrance over by the kitchen," Mike said, "if we want to avoid the paparazzi. I feel like John Wayne. If I had a hat, anyway."

"My grandma loves John Wayne," Shine said.

"Let's get out of here," Logan said. "The welcome wagon ain't lookin' too welcomin'."

They headed for the kitchen building.

Some people who were standing outside, waiting for the doors to open, gawked at them. They recognized that some of them were mutants. Kurt and Hank stood out.

Mystique had already donned a disguise and was hanging back.

Colossus just smiled at them, like their surprised looks were smiles of greeting.

Gambit fiddled with cards. "Maybe we need more reinforcements."

"Oh my," someone suddenly called. "It's her! Marie! Over here."

Rogue looked around and gasped. "Judy?"

A middle-aged woman, and a man who must have been her husband, and two boys about college age came hurrying out of the line and waved at them.

"Who are they?" Storm asked.

"Those people I met when I...went on my road trip a few months ago," Rogue said a little sheepishly. "I stayed at their house.... There was a storm..."

She flew over. "Judy? Dave?"

"I'll be--it really is you," Dave said. "Judy swore you'd be here. I told her not every mutant we know is going to be there, but she said she had a feeling."

"I knew it, I tell you," Judy said. "And this must be the team you told us about.... Oh my...so may of them."

"This is my family, I guess," Rogue said. "In fact, c'mere Kurt." She waved Kurt over. "This here is my adopted brother."

To their credit, they did not look unnerved. Though they were surprised.

"Glad you said adopted," Dave said. "I was going to wonder why you look nothing alike."

"Well, we could if I wanted to," Rogue said. "But I don't do that to family."

"Nice to meet you," Kurt said. "I have heard of your kindness a little."

"We were just doing the right thing." Judy waved it off. "But this...this whole thing...it's amazing.... We'd have never even thought of attending this if not for meeting Marie."

"Who's Marie?" Logan asked. "Is that Rogue?"

"Marie is her real name," Shine said.

Gambit gave her a look. "Did she tell you dat?"

"I already knew," Shine said. "Same way I knew yours, Remy. Anna Marie, actually. Perfect that it's French, isn't it?"

Gambit shot her a look, because he'd thought the same thing but never shared that thought out loud.

"Marie?" Mystique said. "She never told me that. When I met her, she'd already picked her mutant name."

"You never told her yours," Wally said. "So you two are even."

"I never asked her," Mystique said. "I didn't think it mattered who she was before. Same with myself."

"That actually make sense," Wally admitted.

"'Round here, they call me Rogue," Rogue was telling Judy. "Better not make it too confusin'."

"What's really funny about that," Shine said, "is that Marie means rebel. It's just the French form of Mary. That's what Mary means. Rebel=Rogue, doesn't it?"

"Are you kidding?" Wally said. "That's awesome...and funny."

"Wait....it does?" Rogue looked at Shine blankly. "I had no idea..."

"Didn't I say so before?" Shine said.

"If you did, I forgot." Rogue shrugged.

"Oh...this is Shine." Rogue gestured her over. "She's the one who was teachin' me about God and stuff. And Kurt...and Wally over there, but he don't say as much."

"I'm not the talker." Wally shrugged nonchalantly.

"Except when you talk about dumb movies," Morph said jokingly. He imitated Wally. "You don't watch enough, man."

"Hey, I've been right a lot because of movies," Wally defended himself. "And I don't sound like that."

"Yes, you do," Morph argued, still as him.

"Scaring the people..." Scott warned.

Some people were looking at them strangely.

"Let's go inside," Xavier suggested.