Somehow they got Morph back to the mansion. He was all right for the flight, but visibly nervous still.

Mystique got a dole of praise even from Rogue for managing to hold out, but she didn't say exactly what happened, so they concluded she'd just stalled for time.

Mystique didn't find the whole thing that big of a deal but figured they'd all give her crap for her choice of methods, so she kept that detail to herself.

At the mansion, Storm, Jean, and Hank were all hugely relieved to see they'd been successful.

They rushed to hug Morph or congratulate him...but he wasn't very receptive.

"I don't think I'm back yet," he said.

Jean tuned in. "I do sense the other personalities there still," she said. "Quieted...but there. What should we do to help?"

"I don't know," Morph said. "I could go back to Muir Island..."

"And start this all over again," Shine said severely. "No, Morph. You must not take the easy way out."

"Then what am I supposed to do?!" Morph yelled at her.

Logan and Wally were both shocked, as were the others.

"Morph," Logan said reproachfully.

Shine didn't seem that surprised, beyond her automatic flinch. She knew Morph was on the edge.

Real steady, like she was talking to a stressing out child, she said, "We'll deal with this one step at a time. Do you want to do this now, or should we all take a break first? Eat, have some water, rest a little? Being tired is not going to make it easier."

Her tone just cut all of the hostility out of Morph.

"Right..." he said meekly. "Tired, yeah...that sounds good."

"Good," Shine said. "Let's do that. The rest of you, don't bother him with questions."

"Shine," Jean said, following her into the kitchen, "I.... Are you sure this is wise? Professional help is necessary."

"And has reached its clear limit," Shine said. "Besides, I question how professional Moira's methods are. Machines are like a shortcut. A psychologist would be more to the point."

"It was Sinister's chip that began this," Jean said.

"Oh, you know what? You're right about that," Shine said. "Did that get removed?"

"Not that I know of," Jean said. "It would have been molded into his mind. We cannot take it out."

"Oh...that explains a lot," Shine said. "I bet Kevin's power set that thing off. Among other things. We can take care of that easy, just like taking those quirk-blocking trackers out of our friends before."

"You what?" Jean said.

Shine shrugged. "DJs wear many hats."

"I... Your attitude about this is a little cavalier," Jean said. "I...it's like you always think things will be easy for you, from facing down Kevin MacTaggert, to one of our enemies, to one of us...but not all things are so easy, Shine."

"Jean," Shine said, "my attitude is not that things are easy, it is that I treat them as if they are, because I know for God nothing is too hard, and He will show me what to do. In that sense, it is easy. 'I am the vine, you are the branches; apart from me, you can do nothing' is what Jesus told us. I'm not guessing like all of you. Jesus is the great Healer, and He knows how to heal. But there are some common sense steps we can take, eliminate all the other factors first. In that way, it is easy. Wally, before we even met, always treated things like they'd be easy, and then they were. I sort of learned that from him, I think. I think all of you treat things like they are next to impossible, and then you're shocked when they are next to impossible. Like this whole peaceful coexistence thing. It's really not so hard. You all make it hard."

"How do we make it hard?" Jean said.

"You made it hard for us." Shine shrugged. "So why not other humans?"

Jean opened her mouth...and then shut it again.

"Sorry if that's hurtful or rude," Shine amended. "I know it's not usually intentional. You guys are just jumpy around humans. I understand why...but you cannot expect me to share this feeling you have. You know what everyone feels, right? But even if I know how you feel also, I can't just take on those feelings. If I let other people's doubt stop me, what could I ever do?"

"I don't mean that," Jean said. "I would hate to see you get hurt."

"Living cautiously is not going to make me less likely to get hurt," Shine said. "Only I'd get hurt for doing nothing, instead of something...not that today wasn't scary enough... I mean, a rhino staring you right in the eye...makes you reevaluate zoos, for sure.... But my choice to be there and how to proceed? I just don't see why it should make any difference at all. Do you?"

"I guess not when you put it like that," Jean said. "But...it...well...do you know, you always think you are right. What if you were wrong?"

"I never saw the point of questioning myself," Shine said. "I mean...I used to all the time, so I shouldn't say that. I mean since it occurred to me that it's a waste of time, I didn't. If someone is hurt, or if you see you are slacking off, then it's time to question why...but for what you do to help? Or to stand up for what you believe in? If I didn't think I was right, why would I believe it? I'll need more than someone saying I'm wrong to convince me I'm wrong, or it's a pretty weak faith, isn't it? As for my approach, Jean, I can't possibly tweak it all the time. You see that's not feasible. I know Morph is close to you all and it feels different with him, but can you trust that we have a lot of experience with people like him, and the things that were done to them and the answers we found along the way are likely to work at least partially with him?"

Jean pursed her lips. "I don't know the cases you've had before. I'd like to believe that. But if Xavier and Dr. MacTaggert have not had full success...well, pardon me, Shine, but you're not a doctor or a scientist."

"Do doctors and scientists heal someone's soul?" Shine replied. "Jesus does that. Faith does that. Love does that. For that, I could be just as experienced as the next person, but no human is an expert on Love, Jean. We're doing our best here. I know enough to know we don't know enough; that's further than the other two are. And forgive my bluntness: The arrogance of you people thinking you can heal the soul and mind of a man, which you cannot create and you cannot fully understand, is just a bit laughable to me."

Jean's eyes widened, but she didn't know how to answer that.

"You see? I don't just think I'm right because I'm clever," Shine said. "I think I'm right because I know I am not that clever. But I know Who is. I can afford to not know it all, because I don't expect to know it all. And then I know more, because I know I will never know it all, because when you're not trying to cram it all in there, the relevant details are the ones you tend to discover. God guides our steps; I've already felt that way. Try it, maybe you'd feel the same way. And I wouldn't bother so much about Scott either."

"About--who said this had anything to do with Scott?" Jean said.

"I won't comment on your personal affairs," Shine said, "but in general, I'll say this much. I love my husband, dearly, but he does not make all my decisions or decide my opinion on things. And he doesn't expect to do that. Nor do I expect to do that to him. We decided before we got married that we'd always work to come to an agreement on things, but that we'd not force each other to get there by giving up what we felt was the right course of action."

"Are you implying that I do not think for myself?" Jean was offended.

"I don't know, Jean," Shine said. "I've never heard you express your own opinion on anything enough for me to say one way or the other what you think. This is the longest conversation we've ever had about it, and most of what you're telling me is echoing only what you've heard from Xavier and Moira. If that is really what you think, then fine, but if you don't have some thoughts of your own to add to this, then I find it hard to believe that you really have thought about it like that."

"So you are saying that." Jean was madder than before.

"In a word? Yes." Shine shrugged. "Sorry, I suppose that is rude...but it's also true...unless I'm wrong. How will we know?"

"Now you're just making fun of what I said," Jean said. "Was there any call for this? I was cautioning you."

"To heck with caution!" Shine said warmly. "Caution is killing this faster then the hate would."

"I... You..." Jean gave up. "I don't know what to say to you."

"I get that a lot." Shine was un-remorseful.

Jean huffed at her and turned and walked out of the room.

Shine sighed.

* * *

The X-men thought they might owe Mystique something for helping get Morph...but weren't sure that meant letting her go.

Hank suggested they give her a probation. If she followed their requirements for a few more weeks, no problems, they would let her go.

There was a concern that she'd just play nice and get her revenge later...but it was overruled, because they all knew they couldn't detain her here much longer anyway. They'd just have to leave the rest to chance.

Shine told her the good news later, while they were all recuperating.

"Hurray," Mystique said, without enthusiasm. "And then I have to figure out what to do next. All my connections probably have gone cold by now."

"There's always just switching over," Shine said.

"Easy for you to say," Mystique said. "You can leave this world...however that works. Go where you have no past."

"Our past goes with us, Raven. It does not stay in one world," Shine said. "I know that you think it's too late, but why should it be? Why should it ever be too late to start doing things the right way?"

"Enough of this," Mystique said. "I'm tired of you all telling me this. It won't happen. End of story."

"You fight it so hard for someone who does not care," Shine commented. "But I can not bug you about it for now. But would you really ever forgive me if I did not press for it? Wouldn't that just mean I did not actually care? I am just a liar, then. Persistence shows sincerity, often."

"Not always, Likstar, especially with men," Mystique said snidely.

"Well, with mine it did," Shine said. "But I imagine we have different ideas of persistence." She leaned back. "Tell me how you did it, though, please. I know it must have been super interesting. I saw the way both of you were looking."

"You have a morbid kind of curiosity about it. Why should I indulge it?" Mystique said.

"Because you want to tell someone, and I'm the only person who probably won't judge," Shine said.

"You might," Mystique said.

Shine got an odd look. "Well...Raven, how bad could it be? All we saw was you punching him."

Mystique smirked slyly. "I don't know if you really want to hear..."

"If you're going to be like that, I have to doubt if it's even that remarkable," Shine said. "I don't think you could really surprise me at this point."

A little annoyed, Mystique frowned, then she shrugged. "Fine."

She told her what had happened, not as if it embarrassed her.

Shine thought it was funny, to her surprise.

"I never would have thought of that." She was choking on laughter. "But that's genius...definitely only something you could pull off, Raven. No one else would have any street cred there... Oh my, I'd pay money to see that."

"If you think this is funny, what kind of prude are you?" Mystique was almost offended on her behalf.

"Who said I was a prude?" Shine said. "Believe me, in my time, that's hardly anything... We've gotten worse than Shakespeare levels of innuendo... You could have gone way worse than that."

"Too over-the-top would have undone the effect." Mystique finally stopped trying to act like she wasn't smug about it. "You have to calculate it."

"I can't say I understand exactly, but dang..." Shine said.

"You never react to anything like you're supposed to." Mystique went back to thinking this was weird. "I could tell that to anyone else and have them in abstract horror. You do realize I'm just a bad influence, right?"

"I'm not a very strong Christian if you're a bad influence on me," Shine scoffed. "And I could name 3 women in the line of Jesus who pulled something very similar to what you just described. In fact, Tamar, Ruth, and Rahab--there you go. Suck that, legalism."

[I'm not explaining. Look up those references if you want to know. Keeping it PG.]

This whole statement only reminded Mystique of something she'd wondered ever since day one of being confined here.

Now seemed as good a time as any to ask.

"Why do you keep trying so hard to be friends with me?" 

Shine turned serious. "Because I want to... Is that a bad thing?"

"I know it's not because you like me," Mystique said. "It's some weird, Christian charity thing, isn't it? About when are you gonna give up on that?"

Shine looked at her like that actually hurt. Then she leaned on her hands and sighed.

"It's not flattering to think of someone wanting to be your friend out of their beliefs only, is that it?"

Mystique shrugged. "It seems pointless."

"I suppose the same was what Kurt wants," Shine said.

"I suppose it is," Mystique said.

"Because someone like you doesn't have that sort of thing, and you can't," Shine said.

"Oh...I suppose I gave it a try once or twice," Mystique reflected. "But it always ends the same way."

"And the problem is you, you figure," Shine said. "You are just incapable of it."

"Yes," Mystique said.

https://youtu.be/YQWs0AYFq4k

"Raven, there's a popular thing in my time--it seems stupid enough, but it's actually quite true in many cases: 'No one will ever hate you more than you already hate yourself,'" Shine said slowly. "Just how long have you hated yourself?"

"I don't," Mystique said.

Shine gave her a very un-spiritual "get real, girl" look.

Mystique wavered, then shrugged. "I suppose since I was a kid... I wouldn't call it hating myself then, just..."

"Just your mutation," Shine said. "But by extension..."

"I don't need the psycho analysis," Mystique said stiffly.

"Can I ask?" Shine said. "What about your family?"

Mystique hardened. "What about them?"

"I take it they weren't very accepting...but no one seems to know anything about that part of your life," Shine said.

"I don't like to think about it," Mystique said. "It's long gone."

"Were you afraid to go to school?" Shine pressed.

"Let it go," Mystique said.

"No," Shine said, with surprising force. "I won't do that. Everyone is willing to let it go and see you just as Mystique. You know why I use real names? It's not because I think mutants are necessarily wrong to want to have names amongst themselves, but because I think if you carry it too far, it dehumanizes them, like the freak names in a circus. Our real names...well, for the most part, they equalize us all. Parents name us for things they like, things they hope for. My name comes from the hope that I would be a light to other people and my family's lives... I'd like to think I have lived up to that, though I didn't always like it. Even your poor son Grayton's name reflected hope, if you think about it--legacy. I think that's a whole lot of worth and meaning that a code name just cannot hope to compare to. I told you I'd not be able to help using Raven--that is why. I see people as people. And we all should. So I cannot let it go."

Mystique stared at her, either angry or puzzled.

Even in her own thoughts she had thought of herself as Mystique for a long time. Her old name was just a reminder of what she no longer had, if she'd ever had it.

She resented Shine's use of it...but maybe in a way it had made her start to feel a little bit less like just an agent or an associate around here... This feeling was dangerous.

But of course it couldn't get much worse with Shine...so what was the real harm in answering, if she wasn't going to leave it alone?

More to the point, Mystique was afraid if she didn't answer, Shine's Insight would kick in and she'd just say it to her like a robot would spit out information, and that would be unnerving as heck.

[Interesting thing--people will usually confess to something they think you're going to already know or find out anyway.]

"You're not going to drop it, so fine. My family didn't like when they realized I was a mutant," she said slowly, emotionlessly.

Shine nodded.

Mystique wasn't going to say more than that, but then she kept going without planning to.

"I didn't like going to school...even when I could hide it. There's always a chance of a slip up...especially when you're young... Now, it would be simple... Finally I guess it was too much. My parents tried to kill me."

[This was in one of the movies, X3, I do not know if it appears anywhere else, or if we even ever find out much about Mystique. The only implication seems to be she was not accepted at home and ran away at a young age. So I stuck with the movie's backstory. It also makes sense for her personality.]

She said this was no emotion other than light disgust.

Shine had been to therapy enough to know this sort of calm usually disguised much deeper pain that has gone too deep to be felt just by talking about it--but is ready to jump out if the right thing happens.

But she didn't want to just step on that sore point carelessly, so she chose her words carefully.

"You don't want my sympathy, probably, but that is sad."

"So it is," Mystique said, like she didn't care. "Well, it's the story of enough mutants, not really special. Satisfied?"

"I find it interesting that you abandoned Kurt for much the same reason." Shine risked saying this much.

You could tell that Mystique had never thought of this fact before by the shocked look in her eyes.

Shine saw it was suddenly clicking.

Mystique then bit her lip. "Wow...I really did become the same...ha," she laughed bitterly. "There's some kind of cruel irony in this, I suppose."

"Not that it helps, but it's almost guaranteed to happen," Shine said. "I did the same thing. I know dozens of kids who have. We act out what happened to us, on whoever.... The truth is, we can't help it. I guess you're right about that. All humans have flaws, inherently, but families will tend to pass down the same ones, over and over, each with its own brand. That's why cruelty, addiction, and laziness run in some families. You'll get the odd anomaly, Kurt being one, but they have to choose that, though sometimes it seems like they are born different...but, in fact, they are not born that way, they just seem to have a special revelation early on that it's foolish to repeat those mistakes. But even when raised by someone else, the family cycles are powerful. Would it surprise you to know that I have seen similarities between you and Kurt?"

"Other than our skin color, I would be surprised to find any," Mystique said.

"I can find one right now," Shine said. "Both of you assume that your mutation is going to make people hate you. Kurt is meek and forgiving about it, and you hide it, but interestingly, the root assumption is the same. Kurt fights it, but has not escaped it. He may never fully. I think we're tempted by some things our whole lives, some of us. I may always find it hard to trust people as much as I wish I could...but I know this, and I'm not controlled by it, only slowed down. Most people never stop being controlled by their issues--which is just our modern word for flaws and failings. But there you have it."

Mystique blinked at her.

"Yes, I'm good at this," Shine said. "Years of training. Feel free to acknowledge it."

Glare.

"It was a joke, Raven," Shine said. "Trying to not make this seem so serious."

"Anyone ever tell you you don't have much of a filter?" Mystique said a bit snidely.

"Yes, and I assume they have told you the same thing," Shine retorted.

Not in so many words, but Mystique couldn't really deny it.

"Are you saying," she said after a pause, "that what I have done, my entire life, is something I was always going to do, because of my own...past? What kind of hopeless way to look at life is that?"

"Your irrational inability to make better decisions does not strike you as hopeless?" Shine said.

It was too true to even really be angry over...though Mystique still was.

But she was reaching the point where anger wasn't stopping her from admitting it, it just made her feel like crap more and more as she did.

"That's so unfair," she said angrily.

"I know it is," Shine said. "I used to get so mad at my father for handing to me all those bad responses to things. Stress and anger and even disgust for people that I didn't think were mine, but I learned it from him...they become real if you let it. So no, no false sympathy here. I completely understand that kind of frustration."

"Apparently," Mystique noted. "So here comes the speech about how 'Jesus' or whoever changed it all."

"Not without other factors," Shine said. "But, yes, I believe the redeeming power of Jesus in my life enabled to me to do the things I needed to do to get help. In those days, God acted as a sort of coach and cheerleader and parent all in one to me. When I had almost given up on ever growing beyond it, He would encourage me not to and point me to the next thing I needed to do, or not do. The next resource...I watched people around me who had the same issue as me, and they had just hit a wall, while I continued to move forward. In even a few years I was in a totally different place than I was before. And I am not at all the same now.... Once, I would have never been able to have a functional relationship with a man, especially not one like Wally. He's much too non-toxic, and I was attracted to toxicity, like all people from those backgrounds are. We can't help that either...but you can out grow it. Like you can learn to like healthier food. If you try."

Mystique was finally listening without scorn, for once. Though she was shaking her head like she doubted this would ever work.

"Maybe you're just a different breed," she said.

"But I'm really not," Shine said. "All that was different about me was that God marked out my life from the start to be a leader and teacher, and early on I knew about Him. I still had to struggle through the same garbage as everyone else, but I had a sense that...well...that I must. That I was meant to get through it...that there was a reason... I hated myself too--another thing that you pretty much can't help at first, but you can change. I only say this because I know. I couldn't speak with such confidence if I hadn't walked through it myself. To issues I don't struggle with, I only direct people back to God, I can't tell them how. I cannot, for example, really understand how one recovers from the guilt of bloodshed, when I have mentored many people who struggled with that...but I could point them to how to find the answer themselves, and they seem to do all right with that. But when it comes to things like this, I have personal solutions. I believe that is why I'm drawn to people like that. People with similar stories are drawn to each other, instinctively, to either wallow in the pain, or to make it better... That is why you are drawn to me, even though you also have disliked my approach."

Mystique could not believe she had the gall to just say that outright.

"What makes you think I'm drawn to you?" she said sourly.

"The fact that we are having this conversation is proof enough," Shine said. "Come, I lived it, Raven, I know how easy it is to open up to people who seem like they've felt a little of what you've felt. I understand. I won't get a big head over it. I didn't choose to have this story. It is the one I was given, that's all."

"What I just don't get about you, as well as that son of mine, is how you can believe God loves you, when you had these terrible stories," Mystique said. "Unless predestination is a thing and some of us are just punished for being made this way."

"Punishment has no real value if that is true," Shine said. "And you could not feel it was a punishment if you were predestined for it, Raven. Punishment implies you could have avoided it. A person in a wheelchair isn't surprised not to qualify for a marathon, but a person who could run and still failed would be upset. So no, you are not predestined to be this way."

She rubbed her chin. "Some Christians interpreted the Bible's verse on God predestining us to be chosen for Him as saying we have no free will. We call them Calvinists. But the Bible clearly teaches that we choose life or death, in Deuteronomy as well as many other places. 'I set before you the choice between life and death, blessing or cursing. Choose life that you may live'. But also that a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. So I choose to think of it this way: God prepares all of us who do believe to believe, because He helps us to do it. And He planned to save us from the beginning, did know who would be saved, and He organized all our lives to lead up to this. But that does not mean He does not give others a chance. The Bible says He does. If it means they get less of one, I cannot say. I am not God. Only God really knows that. All I know is that in some measure, we also choose. At some point, our choices become irreversible, but that point is also one only God knows--and not for us humans to write each other off over." She smiled a little sadly. "Though I was written off many times... When I was a preteen, my father decided to tell me he was giving up on trying to be my father and to instruct me anymore. Some friends of his also told me how much my behavior was unacceptable...also for something my dad put me up to but conveniently forgot about till I had already been scolded for it, and I reminded him."

She shook her head. "You see, I could easily think God is like that too. Sets me up to fail. That is what you are suggesting, but that is not true. God was my rock in that time and the only one who never condemned me in those days. I will never forget how much it hurt to be treated like I was irredeemable...but I can't help but be grateful for the fact that God never let me once really believe that.... Is that not miraculous? I should have... I can't say that my parents put a whole lot of effort into helping me in those days...or ever, in my dad's case. If anything, he made it harder for me...but yet, I never thought I was unchangeable. Psychology says I really should... That has to be God. Of course, I did end up with the tendency to over-correct to fix myself...but even that, I showed some limits in, compared to other people with the same problem, and I look back on that, and I can't explain why I knew any of that, except that I was following the Bible. That taught me to be kinder to myself than anything else."

Mystique was completely shocked to hear this. Never in her entire life had she ever heard someone describe the Bible in this way.

[Willing to bet most people reading this haven't either. But it's actually many Christians' experience with it.]